am i being too much with new gf? first time she hasn't replied.

LoneWolf

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it's funny, i don't even go out much or clubbing/partying for that matter. i don't really like those places. it's funny what a girl can make me do. anyway, still no contact, i'm cooled off now and i'll remain without contacting her. funny about the facebook thing because after a couple of girls posted on my wall asking if i was going to the party on saturday, i saw a post from her on her own wall asking friends a question about homework (so i guess she's been busy studying) - not to mention my post about the basketball comment i made was right below the one she just made so she pretty much totally ignored that and my text message. i know girls in the past who would reply to everything i said to them.. i guess this one isnt THAT interested anymore. *sigh* i guess if she saw me talking to the other girls that would make her think a little.

it's funny that if us guys text or call often to a girl we LIKE and want to show them that we like them, we come off as needy or desperate. i know some guys dont like talking to their girls much, but i do. so i have to actually pretend i don't want to in order not to destroy the relationship. hah, i think about it and i've always been this way with girls i like.. i remember how bad those ended because i was so attached too fast. pretty much all my life i had to try hard and stop myself from being this way with girls. i'm fine with girls i dont like, they always on my back and i hardly reply to them. i guess it does work. i think the reason i do this with girls i like is cause im scared i'll lose this nice girl i just met and end up being single again for a very long time. pretty sure thats the reason i get like that. lets admit, its not easy finding a decent girl.

but when saturday comes, i'm just going to try have some fun and mingle with other girls. that usually helps me get my mind off a girl i like.

sorry for the extra long post. i just feel better when i let it all out. but i'm cool don't worry folks. i WILL not fuk this up if i haven't already.
 

Falcon25

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Wolf,

I struggled with that too, in my mid to late twenties, and early thirties I figured it out. It is sad bro, it's very sad. But, you have to do it. It sucks, but just play the game. Just don't get too attached too soon. Protect your heart.
 

LoneWolf

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Falcon25 said:
Wolf,

I struggled with that too, in my mid to late twenties, and early thirties I figured it out. It is sad bro, it's very sad. But, you have to do it. It sucks, but just play the game. Just don't get too attached too soon. Protect your heart.
Falcon thanks for the backup bro. i feel a lot better after reading your posts :)

just a quick question: if she calls me asking what im doing on saturday should i invite her along to the party? cause the next time i see her could be another week or two away seeing as she's so busy.
 

Falcon25

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LoneWolf said:
Falcon thanks for the backup bro. i feel a lot better after reading your posts :)

just a quick question: if she calls me asking what im doing on saturday should i invite her along to the party? cause the next time i see her could be another week or two away seeing as she's so busy.
Yeah bro, no problem. Invite her out. It's what you do after the date that matters. Mind fuvk her a bit, make her think you had a terrible time. How do you do that? You don't call her till Monday or Tuesday after the date on Saturday. Until she says "WOLF! I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! ARE WE EXCLUSIVE! I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT WITH ANY OTHER GIRL!!!! YOU FUVKER!??? Then, you can call her whenever you want. Let her beg for your attention. If she doesn't, it means she's not interested, or SHE HAS SOMEONE ELSE. Don't take it personal. Just do this to every girl, one or maybe ten, will fall in love with your attitude and you eventually. BUT NO GIRL, NOT EVEN ONE, wants a guy who attaches too quickly. THEY WANT TO ATTACH TO YOU. NOT YOU TO THEM. Remember that. You are the man.
 

LoneWolf

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alright man. gotcha! i'll let you know how things go over the week.
 

jophil28

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LoneWolf said:
.. somewhere in the conversation i reminded her of the movie we were supposed to see this week. she said she wasn't sure because she was already commited to work and shes working all day fri and sat or whatever.. and that she will let me know. cool, so i just said yeah no problem and she reminded me she DID want to see me but yeah.
That is all wrong..so wrong..

You are allowing her, and her work situation to be the strongest factor in meeting up.
If you are planning to take a woman to the movies, set the date and time, and the place and THEN inform her of the date that you have arranged.. If she hemms and haws, drop it.
The Womanspeek indicator of falling interest is "I'll get back to you" OR "I'll let you know " .
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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In order for a male to be in a healthy relationship for him he must establish himself as an Alpha before the relationship. If he is a beta during the relationship and somehow changes to an Alpha then that relationship will not work. She will probably say your "different or controlling or only caring about yourself". I'm 20 years old but I've gone through almost everything in the book off one relationship.
 

goldStandard

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Lonewolf,

I too have dropped my plates. However, I feel that my story is different from yours because I have successfully created the foundations when it comes to establishing the ground rules with my relationship.

I met my girl at a club on New Years Eve and as the saying goes "relationship type girls aren't found in clubs/bars". On that night, I figured she was a slut. I found her at the bar, bought her a drink, we hit it off and started making seriously 15 minutes after the introduction -- I figured this girl was a slut for sure. In the end it turns out she doesn't vuck... disappointingly we exchanged numbers...

Without beating you around the bush I'll get straight to the point:

On our first date, I ended up being on top of her on my living room couch drying humping the vuck outta her. (not to be too graphic) We were about to vuck. When her pants came off she told me she was a virgin -- the first thing that popped in my head was "red flag, its over". But for the sakes of spinning plates I kept her as a part of my rotation.

During our dating phase I played the game. The game your fellow DJ's mentioned: time your texts, be confident, etc etc. During our dating phase I was upfront. I told her many things like:

1. I'm currently dating other girls
2. I don't deal with bullsh*t drama
3. I find it vucking annoying when girls ignore my texts

Basically during my dating phase with her I didn't give a vuck if her plate dropped because she was a virgin. This worked out in the end because we've established strong communication.

The deal breaker:
After 90 days of spinning plates and having her as a part of my rotation, I've found a lot of *here's the important part* attributes in her that I've found most women don't have.

1. signs of emotional stability
2. huge focus on success (upgrade plan)
3. great at sex (yes, she gave me her V-card)
4. Pays for more than half of our outings
5. Maintains communication without me asking her

During the dating phase I've probably rotated about 10 different girls. The great thing is, I've been so stinkin' honest with my women that I could be going out with them just as friends and be comfortable knowing that these "plates" are going to be apart of my life whether I vuck them or not. I'm not afraid of being single again.

In conclusion:

Be ready to be single at any given moment. Life is all about you. I've read all the replies on your thread and the one thing I haven't seen was "build your self esteem". build yourself, be balanced and have a routine that maintains your body, mind, and success.

If you ask me... I say you dump this girl and start a rotation of plates. why? because you're not ready to have a relationship. You're freaking out from just simple rudimentary sh*t like "why is she ignoring your fb comment?"

Sure, you could salvage the damage in your relationship but I think it would be more appropriate to put yourself on a pedestal.

If you don't stand up for something, you'll fall for anything.
 

LoneWolf

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well at least i got my answer and im satisfied.

i just went fuk it i dont care what happens next. i texted her again and said "going to the city tomorrow with friends and hittin the clubs. you should come." about 2 hrs later she replies:
"hey <name> i would love to come and i want to see you but you've really just got to wait a week because i am that behind in my studies but everything is due by thursday so after that i'll be free. sorry."

i feel i have annoyed her and i probably did. but i had to do it... i like knowing where i stand with a girl even if it kills the relationship .. couldnt help it. at least now i know sat night i can fuk around with the girls that are coming with me and my friend clubbing. i should not contact her anymore until she does right? ive got my answer and im happy with it. i can put my mind at ease finally after all the ignoring she was giving me. i dont like being in the dark with girls. i like straight up honest answers so i can move on or do what i need to do.
 
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PrettyBoyAJ

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PrettyBoyAJ said:
In order for a male to be in a healthy relationship for him he must establish himself as an Alpha before the relationship. If he is a beta during the relationship and somehow changes to an Alpha then that relationship will not work. She will probably say your "different or controlling or only caring about yourself". I'm 20 years old but I've gone through almost everything in the book off one relationship.
Pow Pow
 

runner83

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LoneWolf said:
"hey <name> i would love to come and i want to see you but you've really just got to wait a week because i am that behind in my studies but everything is due by thursday so after that i'll be free. sorry."
Refer my sig.

If she was into you, she WOULD make time to meet you.

Seriously, no matter how busy she is, she could find time.

Give it a week (or more), try again and if not, you'll have your answer for sure.

These sort of things have happened to us all in the past. Don't get hung up on it, instead move on and bang other chicks.
 

LoneWolf

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just feels weird that we havent spoken in 4 days. we having all these great dates together and good sex then it's all quiet. would be nice to at least get a hey how you doing message but i feel she will do that during the week as she has in the past. btw, she has two jobs and studies. three essays due in thursday. don't think shes lying about that either since she was asking people on her facebook about homework. but i will just stay silent until she contacts me.
 

neghitzbrah

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runner83 said:
Give it a week (or more), try again and if not, you'll have your answer for sure.
Listen to this. I think you're doing fine because you did what you wanted and you didn't give a fvck. Honestly, if you're not feeling it anymore now, then don't bother. But if you truly feel as if you need to put in effort, then contact her in a week.

It's not like you would talk to her if things fall apart anyway, right? -- Let us know how it goes.
 

LoneWolf

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still no contact. 4 days so far. 5 days was the most we haven't been in contact at one stage and she text me asking how i was and if we were still on for the date.

anyway, so since shes free after thursday, i was thinking contact her thursday afternoon to see if she wants to do something for friday/saturday? that would be 6 days i've given her free time for her studies. or should i wait for her to contact me instead? i think she always waits for me to contact her first. don't most girls? im thinking if i take too long to contact her she might just make other plans.
 

LoneWolf

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i know but i have been out with other girls since and they do not give me the same feeling as i get with her. shes cute n nerdy. the other girls are hoes and im picky when it comes to girls. even dumped this other girl before her who was nice n all. always called and text but i didnt feel for her. am i really needy for wanting communication every couple or few days??

anyway i just miss this new girl thats all. i guess she doesnt miss me even though she says she wants to see me.
 

hurrdurr

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you are being waaay to clingy and needy,stop contacting her and wait for her to contact you,keep yourself busy to avoid the temptation of contacting her first,if she doesnt well move on,stop talking about your previous dates you had with her,keep her guessing,being mysterious and unpredictible will have her interest level through the roof, good luck
 

LoneWolf

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am i really that bad? i feel like an idiot. fine i wont contact her again. i really hope she contacts me. meanwhile i am actually going to america in july for a month to stay with some woman who really likes me. we talk on mic/cam every couple days and shes 38 years old. shes the one who offered to pay for the ticket and keeps asking me when im gonna sort my visa/passport out. shes even planning on going to florida, new york and probably other places (shes paying for it all) its a bit crazy but we known each other for a while and i know shes loaded with money (im not a gold digger and i never asked for her to do this) but i guess it takes my mind off the other girl (shes 23). *sigh*
 

hurrdurr

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LoneWolf said:
am i really that bad? i feel like an idiot. fine i wont contact her again. i really hope she contacts me. meanwhile i am actually going to america in july for a month to stay with some woman who really likes me. we talk on mic/cam every couple days and shes 38 years old. shes the one who offered to pay for the ticket and keeps asking me when im gonna sort my visa/passport out. shes even planning on going to florida, new york and probably other places (shes paying for it all) its a bit crazy but we known each other for a while and i know shes loaded with money (im not a gold digger and i never asked for her to do this) but i guess it takes my mind off the other girl (shes 23). *sigh*
dont worry about it man i was in the same exact position as you when my gf was new,after i changed my ways i never even have to contact her first,she's the one who always initiates contact,change your ways and you'll be fine
 

mikeyb

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If you're hung on whether she "replied" or not then you're obviously overthinking. Ironically the less you think about relationships at the beginning the less trouble you're likely to run into. Cool off a bit, give her some space. I'd say going to the US to meet your texan cougar is plenty of space!
 
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