A reccuring problem with my game.

[Alex DeLarge]

Okay, so I'm not sure how many people on here check out my approach and field journal.. But I'm having a recurring problem with not escalating enough with dates.

When it comes to analyzing other people's issues on a date, I'm pretty damn good. But for some reason when I'm in the field lately, it all falls apart. I don't think it's anxiety either since I can talk comfortably with women for hours. A lot of women have even gone as far to say that I'm a really confident and passionate guy. But I think it may be "Will she be receptive to me kissing her or repelled" which is really this invisible wall in the way for me.

For instance, I went out last night with a beautiful girl. She's intelligent, artistic, great body, a musician, and just a cool down to earth personality. We had a great time conversing, lots of strong eye contact, and a little bit of kino. We walked back to her place and we conversed outside over a cigarette, she gave me a hug too. I wanted to go in for the kiss, but something held me back. I've known this girl for a while now, but had never hungout 1 on 1 with her. I didn't want to feel freaked out. But another part of me says "Fvck it, kiss her dude.. If she denies, then thats fine. She won't freak out about it. If she does, she's immature." She said I could come up and crash on her couch (public transportation had closed down was the reasoning).. And she went immediately into her room.

I said to myself.. "Wow.. If I just kissed her, I could probably be fvcking her right now, this is so fvcking AFC!" I couldn't stand it. I got up and walked home 3 miles away. I told her I got a ride from a friend.

In all honesty, I think I still have a shot with this girl. Fvck the friendzone bullsh1t. I don't believe in that anymore. I've all ready overcome that hurdle so many times. This girl's not some typical dumb attention seeking chick either. She's totally my type.

I really just need to be more sexual with her I guess. I need to turn on those vibes.. What do you guys think about this situation? Criticism and advice is appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Rubato]

You already know what you need to do. You said exactly what the problem is in your post.

There's no magic bullet solution that makes escalation easy. What may help is some different perspective though. Consider what some of your other hurdles were like to get across... Maybe it was opening a girl, getting her number, asking for a date... the point is, there has to be something you were once uptight about that you're no longer uptight about... or as uptight about.

This is just another one of those situations. The only magic bullet there is in this case is to find the balls to do what you're having a hard time doing. It's not going to be easy. But this is what separates the AFC from the DJ.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

You already know what you need to do. You said exactly what the problem is in your post.

There's no magic bullet solution that makes escalation easy. What may help is some different perspective though. Consider what some of your other hurdles were like to get across... Maybe it was opening a girl, getting her number, asking for a date... the point is, there has to be something you were once uptight about that you're no longer uptight about... or as uptight about.

This is just another one of those situations. The only magic bullet there is in this case is to find the balls to do what you're having a hard time doing. It's not going to be easy. But this is what separates the AFC from the DJ.

Thanks Rubato. Well, I've had no problem kissing girls in the past, but most of them were girls I scored phone numbers from who I immediately escalated with. If it's a girl I just met, I have no problem going for a kiss close on the first date. But if it's a girl I've known for a while I will question to myself whether she'll be freaked out or not.

I think next time I chill with her, I'm just gonna go for it. Fvck it right?

 

[Rubato]

Remember Pook's 15th lessons: The greatest risk in life is not to risk it all.