why do girls do this?

Was off and on with a girl for years. We've been broken up now for 3 months or so. We were still goin out every two weeks or so till she started saying she was too busy two times in a row. I then said ok, well you call me to go out now bc I've tryed twice already. I knew she wasn't going to call, which she didn't. I then went no contact.

She texts me something about my job and I responded short. She then tells our mutual friend that she thinks I was a jerk for being short with her on the text (I know go figure)? She then tells her that she doesn't want to give me the wrong idea (don't know what she's implying) which is why she didn't call me to ask me out when she said she would. She then an hour later calls our mutual friend again and says how she's missing me and can't stop thinkn about me.

I for some reason became mad.. I'm tired of her being uncertain and not telling me what she's thinking. I decided to text her to call me.
She calls and right away I get to the point. I asked "is there something you want to tell me?" She said "why have you been a jerk lately?" I said I'm being straight forward. Is there something you want to tell me? She says no.? I said fine well ill talk to you another time and just hung up.

She then texts me asking why I'm being a jerk. I said "when ur ready to open up we can try this again without the rudeness.". She said I would be open if u weren't rude. I said "that's not how I was trying to come off. Call me tonite and well try this again.". She said ok. The thing I'm confused about is I already know/knew she wasn't going to call. Why does she say she is when we both know she isn't? Its more than just her not being able to say no. Any ideas?

She's just putting blame on you, bro. Lowering your status. :/

Dude, you are too available with her (too nice) and she can act anyway she wants....why do you put up with her if you're not seeing her personally? Get rid of her

You should retitled this thread: "WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS??"

First; NEVER tell a girl to call you, set up a date, arrange an event etc UNLESS you are:

a) sleeping with her
b) dating her
c) dating multiple women and don't really care about this particular girl

I can tell you that girls are attracted to men who lead, men who are confident and men who are sure of themselves.

Your not presenting this image to her, instead your showing her, whether you meant to or not that your unsure, want her to take charge and you'll follow.

Secondly she definitely wants you to chase her and you WANT TO chase her, but you know that you should not.

In the future NEVER put the responsibility on the woman because even when they ARE interested they still won't lead, its not how they're designed.

At the point, your going to have to buck up and call her and just get to the bottom of it. Don't beat around the bush and say "do you have something you want to tell me??" just cut straight to the chase, be firm, but don't be an @sshole.

If she doesn't open up at that point, then you can delete her number and move on because your stuck in neutral on an uphill slope at this point.




PIMP

What you should have done when you started with her is tell her that you're not looking for anything serious.

boynamedsue said:

She calls and right away I get to the point. I asked "is there something you want to tell me?" She said "why have you been a jerk lately?" I said I'm being straight forward. Is there something you want to tell me? She says no.? I said fine well ill talk to you another time and just hung up.

She then texts me asking why I'm being a jerk.

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If I had to estimate the probabilities that she is hiding her relationship with another guy from you, I would call it at 97.543 % .

The womenspeek translation of," Why are you being a jerk?" goes something like this," I have been seeing another guy and I have been doing him in secret hoping that you won't ever find out in case you dump me . I like having you as fallback guy while I explore the manscape for a contender. However you are now asking questions which require me to reveal what I have really been doing so I am going to accuse you of being a 'jerk' in an attempt to divert the focus back onto you."

This tactic is beloved by women who are AVOIDING owning the truth and who are dodging accountability for their behavior.

And the whole time, she's laughing her ass off at you.

Your entire OP sounds like a woman complaining, to be honest.
You've pedastalized this girl and even though you are "attempting" to DJ it up with her, it's only knocking you further back.

She has you in her hands and you don't even realize it.

How are you going to ask: "Do you have something to tell me?"

Could that be any less vague?

Did you just expect her to be direct and tell you exactly what you wanted to hear?

You REALLY need to bury your nose into the DJB.

i think you're handling the 'breakup' better than a lot of people

I also think, same to your thoughts, our thoughts are very matching.
Thanks for putting this Post.....

Thanks
__________

She sounds like a spoiled brat! She seems to only want you a round as a convenience to her whenever she doesn't have some other guy to hang out with. She tells you she's to busy to hangout, and then gets upset when you don't want to talk to her? Sounds like she expects you to put up with whatever bullsh!t she cooks up, but when u don't YOU are the one being the jerk?

Tell this girl to cut the crap! Either you she's going to be around or she's not. If you are still interested in her, give her the message by not being so available to her. If your not interested, start spinning some other plates. You shouldn't have to deal with her bratty behavior. You're not her father.

I also agree with jophil. High possibility that she's fvcking some other guy, feeling guilty, and trying to find some kind of blame to place on you so she doesn't feel as bad about being shady.

She did respond the next morning at 530. She said sorry I'm out of town till the 4th and I havnt been by myself to talk. Ill call you later. Would you guys tell her how you feel?

boynamedsue said:

Would you guys tell her how you feel?

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Answer to that is a BIG N-O!

either drop her or drop the issue. Next time you talk to her, Don't ask her if she has something to tell you and don't bring anything up. Just talk normally. Tell her how great your july 4th weekend was and act like nothings bothering you and you're happy. Then end the convo without asking her to call you, telling her that you'll call, or any lame sh!ttt!

boynamedsue said:

She did respond the next morning at 530. She said sorry I'm out of town till the 4th and I havnt been by myself to talk. Ill call you later. Would you guys tell her how you feel?

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dude, are you even reading what all these people have posted or are you waiting for some one to affirm something you want to hear?

Dupe post

just to point it out, she's calling you a jerk, but she cant stop thinking about you. so before you go about trying to change something, notice what you're doing correctly to keep her interest in you high

boynamedsue said:

She did respond the next morning at 530. She said sorry I'm out of town till the 4th and I havnt been by myself to talk. Ill call you later. Would you guys tell her how you feel?

Click to expand...

Judge nismo-4 has reviewed your case and is frankly disappointed in what you've done. You bought a pedestal and put the girl on it. I hope you didn't get it in gold.

Then you got mad at the girl? Oh hell no. She has your ass now. Why the hell aren't you spinning plates?

Don't you ever tell a girl how you feel. Don't make me get off this bench! Telling a girl how you feel is equal to clipping off your balls and is a DJ crime in all 50 states. I can also tell you that this girl has another guy or two you don't know about. I know what you need to do.

Leave my courtroom and come back when you have new women.

I'm sure it is possible. But she really doesn't have a guy around. I know guys say that all the time, but the times she said she couldn't meet up it was memorial day (a holiday she was going oit of town for ) and some other work event. Once again I'm sure its possible but I believe unlikely. If anything this is the weekend she would meet someone new.

I can't believe it, but jophil and nismo were right.. I'm in shock right now. Just found out from a mutual friend that she has had sex with another guy a month ago. Suprisingly I'm not as hurt as I am mad! I want to call her out on it but I promised the mutual friend I wouldn't. I'm confused and don't know what to do. Should I delete her facebook? Call her out again and ask if she has anything to tell me? I still have a bike and some dvds at her house. Should I contact her and ask for my things back or no contact her and ask her roommate when she won't be there to pick my things up? The thing I'm worried about is the timing all this is happening. She still hasn't called me back from last friday when she said "ill call you soon.". Meaning I don't want her to think I'm doing all this bc she didn't call..I don't want her to have the ego thinking "oh now that boynamedsue didn't get my phone call he's bitter and wants his things back. I could really use your guys advice. I'm so full of emotion. I am spinning plates by the way, and I just had a girl leave my place right now that I banged.. Thanks in advance fellas. I'm looking forward to hearing your guys advice.