starplayer
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2009
- Messages
- 226
- Reaction score
- 14
Personal Boundaries
I think it’s important that every man has a set of rules that he sticks to when dealing with women. Whether these are internalized or written down, every man has to have personal boundaries and values that he will not compromise for any woman.
One of the main problems with “nice guys” is not that they are supposedly “nice”. No, the thing women really hate about them is that they are spineless and let women walk all over them. They can’t say “No”. They have no personal boundaries. They have no self-respect. Women like jerks because they don’t put up with her sh!t.
I know a lot of guys on here say they’ll never compromise their values for no chick, but let’s be honest; the power of the pvssy can be extremely influential. Once she’s got you on the hook it’s hard not to be addicted, and if you’re emotionally attached as well then you’re really in trouble. You might end up losing your self-respect and rationalizing your behaviour at the time.
This isn’t about getting and keeping the girl (although that might be a good side-effect). This is about guys protecting themselves from the users out there. Yes, some women can be manipulative cold-hearted b!tches but if you don’t learn to stand up to them and walk away then you’re no better than the girl who keeps going back to her abusive jerk boyfriend. She acts like a b!tch to you because she knows she can get away with it.
Women will ALWAYS try and push their boundaries, so it’s very important for the man to know exactly where his boundaries are.
Golden Rules
For instance, these are my personal Golden Rules to turn to in a weak moment when emotion clouds my logical mind. Some of them are from my own from experience and others I’ve found here on the forum. These are based on my values and I know not to break them, no matter what I think is the right decision when I’m dealing with a chick I like. You can use your own variations.
So for me I tell myself, it doesn’t matter how hot she is or how great the sex is or how much you think you might like her:
NEVER hesitate to walk away
NEVER compromise your values
NEVER let yourself get taken for granted
NEVER let her cross your boundaries
NEVER put up with her disrespect / bullsh!t
NEVER ignore your gut
NEVER go back after being cheated on
NEVER go back after being dumped
NEVER rationalize her bad behaviour
NEVER ignore mixed signals / games
NEVER back down / apologize for doing nothing wrong
NEVER ignore red flags
NEVER keep giving validation / attention without getting sex
NEVER spend money / give gifts / do favors without her earning it
NEVER agree to commitment / a relationship easily
NEVER agree to commitment / a relationship with a slvt or unworthy woman
NEVER get mushy / start talking about feelings
NEVER give away complements
NEVER panic and chase after her when she pulls away
NEVER let her see you get jealous
NEVER agree to everything she asks for
NEVER contact twice in a row without a response (maybe ONCE more after a few days)
NEVER ask her again after a flake (unless she really works for it)
NEVER move in with her
NEVER get married (maybe for the right woman, but definitely not before 35)
You might think having all these rules is a bit extreme. The truth is, for an experienced man they are. If you are really good with women then you know you don’t need to stick to a rigid set of rules like these.
However, for newbies and guys who have been taken advantage of by women in the past, having a list of rules like these is essential. Think of them like training wheels to keep you in line until you can internalize them and stand up for yourself properly.
Lesson learned
I learned this the hard way.
I was recently seeing a girl and I let a few of these rules slide, although I didn’t have a proper list then. I was feeling confident and thought she had such high interest in me that I could afford to be a bit more open, let my guard down a bit and let a couple of things slide. The result was a fvcking disaster. I made a thread about it a couple of weeks ago.
I feel sh!t about it now. And it’s not just because I lost the girl, although that does suck. No, the reason I feel sh!t is because I compromised my own values, I let her disrespect me and take me for granted. She tested me, I KNEW it was a test but I still folded. I was strong when I first met her but I had a couple of weak moments and slipped.
I should have stood up for myself and it’s eating away at me inside – she disrespected me and took me for granted because I LET her. At first I thought she was just a b!tch but now I realize I could’ve walked away at any time, but I didn’t because she was hot and I was too busy thinking about getting laid. I gave away my self-respect in the hopes of getting more sex from her – and that’s the worst feeling. She wasn’t the problem, I was. She was just being a woman. She was only reacting to the way I was acting.
And the irony of ironies is she most likely left BECAUSE I let her walk all over me. She lost all respect for me, and therefore all attraction.
NEVER AGAIN
No more Mr. Nice Guy
The sad truth is women are so used to “nice guys” giving them everything they want, that as soon as you show any signs of weakness and giving in they’ll push for even more. Women expect “nice guys” – they are the majority. So when she meets a sexy, masculine confident man she sh!t tests the hell out of him. If you show any signs of being a “nice guy” in the early stages she’ll assume she’s “got you” and try and walk all over you. It’s a slippery slope from then on. Basically, if you give them an inch they’ll take a mile. Even if she has high interest in you she will still test you.
Dealing with women these days is like walking a tightrope. Once you slip, there’s no getting back on. Maybe you can hang on for a while if you’re lucky, but it’s only a matter of time before you lose your grip and fall. This is why it’s SO important to keep your balance in the early stages, because once her respect is gone, it’s gone.
New and inexperienced guys need to have something to keep them in place and stop them straying when their emotions for a woman get too strong, or she manipulates them with sex. I’m sure it’s happened to all of us at one time or another.
So you set these rules before you meet the woman and stick to them. You have to be careful because in that moment when the power of the pvssy has you in its grip, it’s very tempting to make excuses for why this situation is “different” and go and break your rules.
Also, more guys need to learn how to walk away from a bad situation. When you’re getting used and abused by a woman WALK AWAY and don’t look back. It’s always hardest the first time you have to do this with a woman but it gets easier. It will hurt but it’s like ripping off a band-aid and you’ll be better off in the long run. But when things are obviously going wrong Eject mothafvcka! Eject!
Never put yourself in a situation where you can’t drop her at a moments notice (don’t mess with women at work, don’t move in or get married unless you know for 110% certain she can be trusted and even then be careful). If you have to, you need to be able to get the fvck out of there!
I think it’s important that every man has a set of rules that he sticks to when dealing with women. Whether these are internalized or written down, every man has to have personal boundaries and values that he will not compromise for any woman.
One of the main problems with “nice guys” is not that they are supposedly “nice”. No, the thing women really hate about them is that they are spineless and let women walk all over them. They can’t say “No”. They have no personal boundaries. They have no self-respect. Women like jerks because they don’t put up with her sh!t.
I know a lot of guys on here say they’ll never compromise their values for no chick, but let’s be honest; the power of the pvssy can be extremely influential. Once she’s got you on the hook it’s hard not to be addicted, and if you’re emotionally attached as well then you’re really in trouble. You might end up losing your self-respect and rationalizing your behaviour at the time.
This isn’t about getting and keeping the girl (although that might be a good side-effect). This is about guys protecting themselves from the users out there. Yes, some women can be manipulative cold-hearted b!tches but if you don’t learn to stand up to them and walk away then you’re no better than the girl who keeps going back to her abusive jerk boyfriend. She acts like a b!tch to you because she knows she can get away with it.
Women will ALWAYS try and push their boundaries, so it’s very important for the man to know exactly where his boundaries are.
Golden Rules
For instance, these are my personal Golden Rules to turn to in a weak moment when emotion clouds my logical mind. Some of them are from my own from experience and others I’ve found here on the forum. These are based on my values and I know not to break them, no matter what I think is the right decision when I’m dealing with a chick I like. You can use your own variations.
So for me I tell myself, it doesn’t matter how hot she is or how great the sex is or how much you think you might like her:
NEVER hesitate to walk away
NEVER compromise your values
NEVER let yourself get taken for granted
NEVER let her cross your boundaries
NEVER put up with her disrespect / bullsh!t
NEVER ignore your gut
NEVER go back after being cheated on
NEVER go back after being dumped
NEVER rationalize her bad behaviour
NEVER ignore mixed signals / games
NEVER back down / apologize for doing nothing wrong
NEVER ignore red flags
NEVER keep giving validation / attention without getting sex
NEVER spend money / give gifts / do favors without her earning it
NEVER agree to commitment / a relationship easily
NEVER agree to commitment / a relationship with a slvt or unworthy woman
NEVER get mushy / start talking about feelings
NEVER give away complements
NEVER panic and chase after her when she pulls away
NEVER let her see you get jealous
NEVER agree to everything she asks for
NEVER contact twice in a row without a response (maybe ONCE more after a few days)
NEVER ask her again after a flake (unless she really works for it)
NEVER move in with her
NEVER get married (maybe for the right woman, but definitely not before 35)
You might think having all these rules is a bit extreme. The truth is, for an experienced man they are. If you are really good with women then you know you don’t need to stick to a rigid set of rules like these.
However, for newbies and guys who have been taken advantage of by women in the past, having a list of rules like these is essential. Think of them like training wheels to keep you in line until you can internalize them and stand up for yourself properly.
Lesson learned
I learned this the hard way.
I was recently seeing a girl and I let a few of these rules slide, although I didn’t have a proper list then. I was feeling confident and thought she had such high interest in me that I could afford to be a bit more open, let my guard down a bit and let a couple of things slide. The result was a fvcking disaster. I made a thread about it a couple of weeks ago.
I feel sh!t about it now. And it’s not just because I lost the girl, although that does suck. No, the reason I feel sh!t is because I compromised my own values, I let her disrespect me and take me for granted. She tested me, I KNEW it was a test but I still folded. I was strong when I first met her but I had a couple of weak moments and slipped.
I should have stood up for myself and it’s eating away at me inside – she disrespected me and took me for granted because I LET her. At first I thought she was just a b!tch but now I realize I could’ve walked away at any time, but I didn’t because she was hot and I was too busy thinking about getting laid. I gave away my self-respect in the hopes of getting more sex from her – and that’s the worst feeling. She wasn’t the problem, I was. She was just being a woman. She was only reacting to the way I was acting.
And the irony of ironies is she most likely left BECAUSE I let her walk all over me. She lost all respect for me, and therefore all attraction.
NEVER AGAIN
No more Mr. Nice Guy
The sad truth is women are so used to “nice guys” giving them everything they want, that as soon as you show any signs of weakness and giving in they’ll push for even more. Women expect “nice guys” – they are the majority. So when she meets a sexy, masculine confident man she sh!t tests the hell out of him. If you show any signs of being a “nice guy” in the early stages she’ll assume she’s “got you” and try and walk all over you. It’s a slippery slope from then on. Basically, if you give them an inch they’ll take a mile. Even if she has high interest in you she will still test you.
Dealing with women these days is like walking a tightrope. Once you slip, there’s no getting back on. Maybe you can hang on for a while if you’re lucky, but it’s only a matter of time before you lose your grip and fall. This is why it’s SO important to keep your balance in the early stages, because once her respect is gone, it’s gone.
New and inexperienced guys need to have something to keep them in place and stop them straying when their emotions for a woman get too strong, or she manipulates them with sex. I’m sure it’s happened to all of us at one time or another.
So you set these rules before you meet the woman and stick to them. You have to be careful because in that moment when the power of the pvssy has you in its grip, it’s very tempting to make excuses for why this situation is “different” and go and break your rules.
Also, more guys need to learn how to walk away from a bad situation. When you’re getting used and abused by a woman WALK AWAY and don’t look back. It’s always hardest the first time you have to do this with a woman but it gets easier. It will hurt but it’s like ripping off a band-aid and you’ll be better off in the long run. But when things are obviously going wrong Eject mothafvcka! Eject!
Never put yourself in a situation where you can’t drop her at a moments notice (don’t mess with women at work, don’t move in or get married unless you know for 110% certain she can be trusted and even then be careful). If you have to, you need to be able to get the fvck out of there!