Señor Fingers
Master Don Juan
People operate under all kinds of circumstances. While there are certain inevitable constants of human nature, one of the biggest pitfalls for us as men is to fall under the limitations of our own assumptions. As I gain more experience under my belt and deal with lots of people in different situations, its become apparent that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to anything in life. There's just far too many variables to take into account.
This is why arguments about "quality women", or whether "looks matter" are just long bouts of masturbatory dialogue, because the world is far too big to fit inside any single POV. To impose your own views not only shows insecurity, but a desire to reinforce a shaky foundation of beliefs.
I only see this now because I've lived and hustled in many different cities/towns - it's given me the perspective to see that my views and approaches are not founded on some universal law, but my own subjective vantage point. It's taught me to be more open - to judge and label less - to observe, watch and listen more, and act on THAT rather than my own assumptions.
As a result I have discovered that there is often much more to people than meets the eye, and that for YEARS I was selling myself short with sweeping generalizations.
The Guru Trap
Be wary of those who claim to have women all figured out. Anyone who has led a diverse and rich life cannot help but
at most sentences that begin with the words "Women are.." You just gotta wonder about these players who have single-handedly put the world and its infinite chaos inside their comfortable little thinking box.
Question anyone who speaks in such absolutes. Gather multiple points of reference, and reach your own conclusions because any fella who relies on one source for his intel will never be his own man.
And therein lies the trap - when people are too scared or lazy to reach their own conclusions, they will most certainly find someone to do it for them.
Filters and Projection
A lot of so-called players think they have "arrived" simply because they have taken off the rose-colored glasses and can see how foul things really are. This is a false revelation though. Just because you can see how much people suck does not make you any more adept at handling them. All you've done is traded rose glasses for black ones - it's a different type of assumption which will limit you in the end.
Discarding these filters is what truly allows us to act within the context of a given situation. You see how the play is panning out on the field and pimp accordingly.. This helps you avoid a lot of common problems:
• You go to clubs or frat parties looking for a woman of substance, is it really the collective flaw of all womankind that you don't have enough sense to find better hunting grounds?
• That girl you are talking to makes it very clear she is looking for LTR, and you pretend that's your MO just to get your d*ck wet - then you have the balls to complain about her pressuring you later on, when you failed to disqualify by your own terms.
• You let women do all the work - you are the prize and they must approach, initiate and lead. Then the power struggles come later and you can't figure out why she wants to wear the pants in the relationship.
Forget what you think you know - look around you. FEEL the situation out then act. Who are you dealing with? Where are they coming from? How aligned are they with your criteria?
You save TONS of time and your ratio of success skyrockets when you are able to see people for who they really are from the jump and respond in kind.
Playing by your rules
A lot of these seduction theorists will try to sell you on bleak ideologies and complicated theories because its what their whole life revolves around
Despite what they would have you believe, you don't need to be an alpha-male, plate-spinner or brooding nihilist to be "good with women". Everyone is different, so instead of fitting yourself into a mold, cover the basics and build your own:
1. Decide what it is you want from women.
Forget about looking cool in front of your friends. First and foremost you must ask yourself what it is that will make YOU happy. One night stands? Threesomes? LTRs? Polygamy? Figure it out - experiment and go with whatever works for you. f*ck what people think about your choices - it means jack sh*t!
2. Decide what type of woman you want / don't want
Looks shouldn't be enough. It's crucial to have standards to qualify against, because (a) people need to work towards something and (b) you save a lot of time when you screen for compatibility. It also turns chicks on knowing that they must do more to please you than bend over and spread their skin.
3. Develop the art of reading people
People reveal VOLUMES about themselves when you stop listening to the noise in your head ("does she like me? should I close?") and just PAY ATTENTION. How do they carry themselves? What subjects do they like to talk about? How do they regard others? What feelings do they incite (aside from the boner in your pants)?
You will avoid a lot of BS, and filter out many, many duds in the process. You will also be pleasantly surprised at times when your underestimation was sorely mistaken. Talk less. Observe more. Simple as that.
4. Show your d!ck who's boss
P*ssy is great - we all love it, and most of us would do damn near anything to get it. Nothing wrong with that. Just prepare for the consequences of your actions when you let your d!ck make all the decisions. In my experience, the second that p*ssy becomes leverage you are DONE. It's a warm hole for your penis - don't let it rule your life!
5. Be open to possibilities
Drop your assumptions about people you never met or know nothing about. At least give them a CHANCE to make an ass of themselves! If you are consistently disappointed in what your local pool of options has to offer, then it's time to realize that no one is twisting your arm to fish in the same stagnant waters.
6. Get around
Go to another city or country - get a different slant, or do SOMETHING outside your norm. It gives you much needed perspective and appreciation for the life you lead. Yeah I know the economy sucks and there are a million valid excuses to stay in your comfort zone - but truth is if you want something bad enough, you will make it happen, whatever the cost.
7. Avoid hate
In a world of abundance, there is absolutely no reason to be jealous, or sh*t on another man's game. Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition, but the moment you start taking things personal and develop grudges against people then you are just showing what an emotional wreck you really are beneath that player facade of yours.
This also applies to guys who have nothing but contempt for women, and end up pulling dysfunctional, low self-esteem nut jobs who just reinforce their sh*tty outlook.
In the end like attracts like, and if all you do is brood under the assumption that you are somehow more entitled than others, or everyone sucks but you, well I'm sorry but that just makes you a raging ******* and you deserve all the unhappiness you get.
8. It's a motherf*ckin GAME - have fun with it!
If you are not having a great time, regardless of whether or not you win, then you are just plain doin it wrong. Remember, "failure" is actually what makes the game worth playing. If you never had to struggle and hit a home run at the plate every time, where would the challenge/satisfaction be in winning? What would be the point?
9. Don't be lazy
People make assumptions to begin with because it takes a lot less effort to sit on a pedestal and judge than it is to really network and connect. I'm sorry but anyone who tries to tell you that ALL women are unfaithful, gold-digging, branch-swinging sluts is just making excuses for himself to warm the bench.
These folks are just scared to death of letting anyone close to their hearts, or thinking outside their little black box. It's a massive cop-out, masquerading as enlightenment - no better than the chump who is scared of approaches. Both players are afraid of taking a chance on some level, and that's a damn shame cause risk-taking is the very thing that distinguishes us as men.
10. Lead, Lead, and Lead some more
This is not to say that women can't make decisions on their own, but in the sexual dynamic they really want you to take over. They just can't get swept of their feet by a guy who is looking for their permission at every turn. Part of what gets them off is the surrendering to the irresistible FORCE of a man, and you can only be that guy when you know how to love and lead yourself first!
The Final Word
Actually I don't have it. Neither does Mystery, Neil Strauss, or <insert pickup guru here>. Like I said this whole thing revolves around you - your choices, your preferences, your VISION of what life should be like. No one is entitled to make that call but yourself. This requires total honesty on your part.
Are you really happy with the world you've created?
Do you know where you are going, and confident of your course?
These are not easy questions to answer, and most people ignore them completely until they realize their time is up. Ironic how the bench-sitters want to play so badly once the game is over.
I hope that some of yall reading this are wise enough to ignore your own prejudices, and hop through the many windows of opportunities that surround us every single day.
It's f*cking INCREDIBLE to be alive, young and healthy. Make the most of it - or your ass is already dead!
This is why arguments about "quality women", or whether "looks matter" are just long bouts of masturbatory dialogue, because the world is far too big to fit inside any single POV. To impose your own views not only shows insecurity, but a desire to reinforce a shaky foundation of beliefs.
I only see this now because I've lived and hustled in many different cities/towns - it's given me the perspective to see that my views and approaches are not founded on some universal law, but my own subjective vantage point. It's taught me to be more open - to judge and label less - to observe, watch and listen more, and act on THAT rather than my own assumptions.
As a result I have discovered that there is often much more to people than meets the eye, and that for YEARS I was selling myself short with sweeping generalizations.
The Guru Trap
Be wary of those who claim to have women all figured out. Anyone who has led a diverse and rich life cannot help but
at most sentences that begin with the words "Women are.." You just gotta wonder about these players who have single-handedly put the world and its infinite chaos inside their comfortable little thinking box. Question anyone who speaks in such absolutes. Gather multiple points of reference, and reach your own conclusions because any fella who relies on one source for his intel will never be his own man.
And therein lies the trap - when people are too scared or lazy to reach their own conclusions, they will most certainly find someone to do it for them.
Filters and Projection
A lot of so-called players think they have "arrived" simply because they have taken off the rose-colored glasses and can see how foul things really are. This is a false revelation though. Just because you can see how much people suck does not make you any more adept at handling them. All you've done is traded rose glasses for black ones - it's a different type of assumption which will limit you in the end.
Discarding these filters is what truly allows us to act within the context of a given situation. You see how the play is panning out on the field and pimp accordingly.. This helps you avoid a lot of common problems:
• You go to clubs or frat parties looking for a woman of substance, is it really the collective flaw of all womankind that you don't have enough sense to find better hunting grounds?
• That girl you are talking to makes it very clear she is looking for LTR, and you pretend that's your MO just to get your d*ck wet - then you have the balls to complain about her pressuring you later on, when you failed to disqualify by your own terms.
• You let women do all the work - you are the prize and they must approach, initiate and lead. Then the power struggles come later and you can't figure out why she wants to wear the pants in the relationship.
Forget what you think you know - look around you. FEEL the situation out then act. Who are you dealing with? Where are they coming from? How aligned are they with your criteria?
You save TONS of time and your ratio of success skyrockets when you are able to see people for who they really are from the jump and respond in kind.
Playing by your rules
A lot of these seduction theorists will try to sell you on bleak ideologies and complicated theories because its what their whole life revolves around
Despite what they would have you believe, you don't need to be an alpha-male, plate-spinner or brooding nihilist to be "good with women". Everyone is different, so instead of fitting yourself into a mold, cover the basics and build your own:
1. Decide what it is you want from women.
Forget about looking cool in front of your friends. First and foremost you must ask yourself what it is that will make YOU happy. One night stands? Threesomes? LTRs? Polygamy? Figure it out - experiment and go with whatever works for you. f*ck what people think about your choices - it means jack sh*t!
2. Decide what type of woman you want / don't want
Looks shouldn't be enough. It's crucial to have standards to qualify against, because (a) people need to work towards something and (b) you save a lot of time when you screen for compatibility. It also turns chicks on knowing that they must do more to please you than bend over and spread their skin.
3. Develop the art of reading people
People reveal VOLUMES about themselves when you stop listening to the noise in your head ("does she like me? should I close?") and just PAY ATTENTION. How do they carry themselves? What subjects do they like to talk about? How do they regard others? What feelings do they incite (aside from the boner in your pants)?
You will avoid a lot of BS, and filter out many, many duds in the process. You will also be pleasantly surprised at times when your underestimation was sorely mistaken. Talk less. Observe more. Simple as that.
4. Show your d!ck who's boss
P*ssy is great - we all love it, and most of us would do damn near anything to get it. Nothing wrong with that. Just prepare for the consequences of your actions when you let your d!ck make all the decisions. In my experience, the second that p*ssy becomes leverage you are DONE. It's a warm hole for your penis - don't let it rule your life!
5. Be open to possibilities
Drop your assumptions about people you never met or know nothing about. At least give them a CHANCE to make an ass of themselves! If you are consistently disappointed in what your local pool of options has to offer, then it's time to realize that no one is twisting your arm to fish in the same stagnant waters.
6. Get around
Go to another city or country - get a different slant, or do SOMETHING outside your norm. It gives you much needed perspective and appreciation for the life you lead. Yeah I know the economy sucks and there are a million valid excuses to stay in your comfort zone - but truth is if you want something bad enough, you will make it happen, whatever the cost.
7. Avoid hate
In a world of abundance, there is absolutely no reason to be jealous, or sh*t on another man's game. Nothing wrong with a little friendly competition, but the moment you start taking things personal and develop grudges against people then you are just showing what an emotional wreck you really are beneath that player facade of yours.
This also applies to guys who have nothing but contempt for women, and end up pulling dysfunctional, low self-esteem nut jobs who just reinforce their sh*tty outlook.
In the end like attracts like, and if all you do is brood under the assumption that you are somehow more entitled than others, or everyone sucks but you, well I'm sorry but that just makes you a raging ******* and you deserve all the unhappiness you get.
8. It's a motherf*ckin GAME - have fun with it!
If you are not having a great time, regardless of whether or not you win, then you are just plain doin it wrong. Remember, "failure" is actually what makes the game worth playing. If you never had to struggle and hit a home run at the plate every time, where would the challenge/satisfaction be in winning? What would be the point?
9. Don't be lazy
People make assumptions to begin with because it takes a lot less effort to sit on a pedestal and judge than it is to really network and connect. I'm sorry but anyone who tries to tell you that ALL women are unfaithful, gold-digging, branch-swinging sluts is just making excuses for himself to warm the bench.
These folks are just scared to death of letting anyone close to their hearts, or thinking outside their little black box. It's a massive cop-out, masquerading as enlightenment - no better than the chump who is scared of approaches. Both players are afraid of taking a chance on some level, and that's a damn shame cause risk-taking is the very thing that distinguishes us as men.
10. Lead, Lead, and Lead some more
This is not to say that women can't make decisions on their own, but in the sexual dynamic they really want you to take over. They just can't get swept of their feet by a guy who is looking for their permission at every turn. Part of what gets them off is the surrendering to the irresistible FORCE of a man, and you can only be that guy when you know how to love and lead yourself first!
The Final Word
Actually I don't have it. Neither does Mystery, Neil Strauss, or <insert pickup guru here>. Like I said this whole thing revolves around you - your choices, your preferences, your VISION of what life should be like. No one is entitled to make that call but yourself. This requires total honesty on your part.
Are you really happy with the world you've created?
Do you know where you are going, and confident of your course?
These are not easy questions to answer, and most people ignore them completely until they realize their time is up. Ironic how the bench-sitters want to play so badly once the game is over.
I hope that some of yall reading this are wise enough to ignore your own prejudices, and hop through the many windows of opportunities that surround us every single day.
It's f*cking INCREDIBLE to be alive, young and healthy. Make the most of it - or your ass is already dead!
