The real issue with friends is that most people hold onto their idealized definition of friendship from adolescence. It's kind of like the AFC holds onto idealized, romantic notions of love. Let me explain...
Friendship is nothing more than the bond shared between people which similar life situations. In early childhood, there's not much differentiation yet, so the similar life situation is simply "they live nearby." Around puberty, economic realities, as well as physical changes, begin to stratify kids into social groups. In adulthood, people's life situations differentiate dramatically. The only true metric of friendship at this point is your attitudes toward life.
If you've chosen to evolve, it can be a painful lesson to learn that the friends of your youth who have chosen to stagnate, who were your "bros for life," no longer care for you or are bringing you down. It's akin to having your young heart ripped out by the chick you had oneitis for.
I've posted the following idea before, but it bears repeating. Sales guru Joe Girard places the people he meets into 3 different categories, simply titled 1's, 2's, and 3's. It works really well for judging character.
1's are the winners in life. They're people who continually work to improve themselves. They bring everyone around them up. They associate most closely with other 1's. Everyone loves them and respects them, or is envious of them. Look to associate with as many 1's as possible.
2's are the crabs, as they're called here now (credit to tits for that). They whine and have an excuse for everything. They believe in luck, and hate change. They're always looking to shoot the 1's down, or in the crab analogy, pull them back into the barrel. Ignore the 2's.
3's are the fukking losers of the world. They blame everything on others, and on "the man." They have the Brown Touch - everything they touch turns to sh!t. Avoid the 3's like the plague.
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Threads like this remind me of a few life lessons I've learned, among them that as a grown man with adult social skills, you live much more of a solitary lifestyle than when you were younger. You don't "run with a crew" like you did in high school or college. You aren't hanging out with your friends 5 nights a week.
Along with adolescent notions of friendship come adolescent notions of social status. Nothing spells out immaturity quite like people, both male and female, who think that social status is "how many high-end clubs and party scenes am I known at?" Or better yet, "How many people are linked to my MySpace page?" Grown-up social status is how influential and respected you are.
So for anyone who posted on this thread whining about their lame AFC friends, man up and stop associating with these people. There's a recurring theme on this board about crappy friends, haters, cahk-blocks, and it gets old after awhile, doesn't it? Go seek out the 1's, ignore the 2's, and shun the 3's. There's nothing shameful about retooling your social alliances, even if that means you’re alone quite a bit. Don't ever let anyone, especially the little GIRLS you meet, shame you into thinking otherwise.
And with that, I’m changing my sig…
RedPill
