Windy City Chronicles II

Saturday
Had a 2nd date with Antonia. The first one went decent until the end when I invited myself back to her place, couldn't take a hint and she eventually kicked me out lol.

I cancelled on two date opportunities to hang with her too: One chick I can only describe as a FWB and then a chick I met street sarging last weekend wanted to see a movie. Turned them both down coz I was really feeling Antonia, which says a bit about her... but maybe more about the chicks I have been messing with smh.

Unfortunately, Antonia obviously didn't feel the same way and brought a friend with her to our 'date' and so I shut down and threw in the towel instead of trying to charm the both of them.

I ended up throwing a hissy fit and then ejecting after two hours of being stuck in limbo lol

Sunday
Stayed home coz I was still heated about the previous 'date'

Monday
Went on a movie date with the girl I canceled on over the weekend. No mas with the movie dates. Can't even speak in those fckers. After the date, the girl invited me back to her dorm to watch Bears v Lions but i passed on the invite coz i had work the next day and more importantly I had a feeling it would be more of a social gathering of floor mates instead of an intimate setting where I can get my pee pee wet.

Tuesday
Had a date scheduled with Layla from the loft party. We hadn't really been talking because i was thinking about Antonia too much lol but she texted me out of the blue and I arranged a date.

She arrives two hours after we agreed on and one hour after she said she would be. After blowing up over Antonia the other day tho, I was relatively indifferent and focused on the positive aspects of the situation like the fact that she drove from the suburbs and had to pay to see me (with gas and her time on her day off).

Things started off rocky but picked up as the night progressed. After the first setting, we relocated to a lounge and had better convo. She drove me back to my place and we watched a movie in my bed but no action. She spent the night but left before the sun came up if that makes any sense.

Turns out she is a virgin and has never seen a d!ck before @ 22. Yowzers. She is either extremely sheltered or lies about stuff that i don't even care about. Kinda shy and didn't even let me kiss her even in my bed. It's not a rush cowboy so I didn't press too much... grabbed some boob and got my hand swatted when I tried to grab ass a few times.

Wednesday
After work, went out to a few networking events and then went clubbing. Got one # and then one chick took my number. Thought she was gonna call but nothing so far. Was only tryina get my d!ck wet anyway so meh.

Thursday
Stayed home coz of bad weather. Texted Antonia and she basically said she wasn't feeling me anymore. Boohoo lol. No hard feelings tho from me, my actions caused her to lose interest by being too needy and not staying calibrated.

She probably thinks I am weird coz it was just kinda like a switch was hit when I realized my error. I went from trying to set up another date, to telling her what I did was weird and that I understand why she isn't feeling me like she was. Sometimes things are simply cause and effect and so I can't get mad at the obvious effect a detrimental action has.

Oh and earlier in the day, Layla was in Chicago and wanted to hang but i was @ work. She had to pick up her sis by the time I was free again so we'll have to hang out another time.



I wanna go into more detail but this netbook keyboard is fvcking up and I haven't gotten any sleep since I've been out and about nightly. Feels good to be exploring Chicago but I gotta remember to write in more detail so I can figure out where I fvck out and things that are working for me.

Friday
I had knocked off and went home but the urge to go out got a hold of me. I got downtown about an hour before the club open so me and the fellas just started approaching women on the street. We all opened a 3-set and I was talking to a girl (Marcia) that had a decent body but I was just not attracted to. I got the number because all of my friends got the #s of their girls and didn't want to make her feel left out. Dammit

At the club, grinded on a few girls. One girl asked me for my # but I think it was to beat me to the punch of asking for her number coz she said she had a boyfriend. Meh. She hasn't called and I am not holding my breathe.

I danced with a 2nd chick for most of the night, Brandi. She was cute and grabbed my ass as I went by so I turned around and smacked her ass hella hard and she was shocked and then started laughing. I saw her but I had my eyes on another girl so I was ignoring her. Later on, I go and we ended up dancing later on which lead to some fondling and making out and a little dirty talk. The dynamic was fvcked though because she came with two guys and a girl. Brandi was dancing with one of the guys she came with for a few songs until I showed up, so when I was doing my thing the three others just kind of watched us grind and make out. Awkward.

Then they convince her to leave. Even though she is adamant on staying, I wasn't getting anywhere and couldn't escalate with them around so I told her that it was best that she left since she was driving. Did grab the digits somewhere in the interaction fwiw.


Saturday
Texted Marcia out of sheer boredom and we send a few messages back and forth and then she calls me on the phone. I was downtown at around 4pm and thought it would be a good idea to get in the right mindset by having a convo on the phone but I shouldn't have talked as long as I did because it gave her the impression. 30 mins later and I end the convo. She ask me what I was doing later on and I told her I would let her know.

On the walk to the event, I make eye contact with a cutie who swivels her head as we pass on the crosswalk, I motion her over and she motions me over and I go to get the number but stop when I find out she is 16. She started to complain that she was turning 17 soon but when I told her my age she understood lol.

After that, I went to this dating event @ an upscale venue. I really liked the event but the crowd was older so I was a little intimidated by the females. Although one was practically breathing down my neck the entire night, I still didn't make a move on her. D'oh.

Once the event ends, I decide to text Marcia to hang out coz I had nothing else planned. Not two mins later did Brandi text me asking to come to the club with her. D'oh. I try to stagger the dates but it is going to be a doozy.

(un)Luckily, the more I talk to Brandi, the less sure the idea of us meeting at the club seems to pan out. I had a feeling in the back of mind so commit to taking Marcia out. I met her at the lounge I went to on Tuesday with the Layla. Funnily enough, when I get there the waitress who serves me last time says, "Hey you two were here on earlier in the week right?" I flatly denied it before nervously averting eye contact from Marcia and the waitress with a laugh.

So anyways midway through the date I get a text from Brandi canceling as anticipated. Marcia was kinda interesting to talk to but the attraction wasn't there and it really felt like I was going through the motions with her so eventually I used the story I had planted in case Brandi was free to get out of the date and went club hopping but the night was week so I was back at home by 2:30.

However I didn't get any sleep. No... nothing sexual happened. but I did check out a dating website for the first time... and boy are they addicting. It is something so narcissistic about having a list of the people checking you out at your disposal.

Okay, so let me back up a bit. imaginemypotential texted me the other day and told me I should try dating online because the chicks are higher quality than you meet at the club. I never really was interested in online dating because it seems like it takes a lot of the best parts out of the beginning stages of dating when you read everything you need to know about someone online, however I decided to give it a try.

So far, there aren't a lot of girls I am interested in but enough to keep me active for a while hopefully. Only two chicks have responded to messages and I have gotten one number out of that so far.

The way I look at it is how most people look at investing: they aren't gonna quit their job and throw it all in the Nasdaq 100, but it does offer an opportunity for some supplemental income to go along with what you make at your 9-5. In the same vein, online dating isn't going to replace my day/night game, but it can compliment it with a steady stream of chicks every few weeks hopefully. I just need to keep telling myself this and not get addicted to checking the newsfeed and checking for new messages or who saw my profile in the last 20 mins.

Things to work on
- Don't lead girls on. If I don't like em, I won't get their # coz that gives em false hope. I DEFINITELY won't ask them out on a date lol. WTF was that all about.
- Don't get jealous over randomness. Whenever I find out a girl has recently broken up with someone, I instantly feel like I am competing against some other guy and if I don't make her fall 2x as hard it will be a waste. The world doesn't work like that. Have fun unique experiences with each chick
- Don't be needy. Now that I am spinning a few plates and getting some dates lined up, it is easy to maintain but for a while I was reeking of desperation with some of my interactions. Losing the battle was something I was afraid of doing so I fought for inconsequential victories that were worthless in the grand scheme of things. No mas.
- Keep the positive thinking going. Self explanatory
- Always do warm up sets for everything. Throwaways sets before the main event (albeit the club, or the mall or whatever) are great because they are in a different environment and really feel like primers to get the juices flowing. Keep that going

Uneventful this week.

Brandi: Texted her on Mon offering to take her out on Wednesday. She said thanks and she'll let me know. Meh. Didn't hit her up again til Friday and she said she was sick. Bottom of the pile she goes but I'll text her again in the future. She had a high IL when we met but oh well

Layla: Had a date scheduled for this past Tuesday but she couldn't make it last minute. She is #2 material at best but has my interest the most out of the girls I am dealing with.

Met a cute chick from Loyola who was shopping at the Water Tower yesterday. My hands were full and a co-worker was waiting so I had to give her my #. No call/text yet. Still felt good to dust the C&F off from the beginning.

Approached a chick walking on N Michigan Ave earlier today. Was nervous and it showed. She gave me her # verbally coz the guy she came downtown with was walking towards her. However, when I texted the #, it was the wrong #. I wrote it down wrong or she gave me a fake. Either way, she doesn't have a chance to be in my life now.

I am going to do a little reading on the weekend. For some reason, I feel like I have been swinging in the dark. Chicks I like aren't falling for me like I want them to. Lots of flaking and miscommunication. I think it is partially because when I like a girl, I often completely drop the push part of push/pull. Dated one or two girls who I felt I didn't need to do the silly stuff with but I guess I need to revert to it to keep the average chick on her toes.

At the moment, I am up to four girls that I could ring up and have a guaranteed date set up in 10 mins but I have no interest in doing so with them. Antonia wasn't my soulmate or anything but our short interactions showed me that I have been squandering time with people I have nothing in common with.

I am trying to find that medium between finding someone that I personally click with, and teaching myself not to be too picky at the same time. I think I am going to raise my standards so that the chicks I only want to fvck know up front and can GTFO if they aren't with it.

As for online dating, I was addicted for like 3 days but it is kinda meh now. The women seem to have too much power in this arena and I am having trouble separating myself from the average dude online. Women are responding but it is often with 1-2 sentences if that, as if it is one of many messages they are knocking out. Will figure out how to improve efficiency in this setting but not spending too much time because I'd rather be out in the field anyways.

Did some reading today. Here is something that stuck out to me:

Deep Blue (in the archives) said:

The rationale in your head might be, “ha, if I can get her to spend time with me then I’ll be able to work my magic on her and make her really desire me.” But that magic must begin from the moment she first sees you. You aren’t getting a date, then making her desire you. You are making her desire to talk to you, making her desire to give you her number, making her desire to get together with you and spend more time with you. These are essential intermediate level victories you must win in order to make genuine progress.

Get rid of the idea that she “should” want to talk to you or get together with you just because you want to. That thinking comes from your own needs, your own urgency, and that whole perspective will reveal itself in your demeanor, making her feel pressured. The problem is that this approach actually works, in the short run, and that often leads guys into viewing it as the right way to proceed. You CAN force a yes from a chick that way, because she’ll give in to the pressure, but later she’ll look for a way to get out of it and you’ll end up dismissing her as yet another “flake.”

Click to expand...

Really struck a chord with me and why i am swimming in circles with certain women in my life.

Things to work on
Listening more Understanding what a female wants and providing that should be a #1 priority at all times in seduction.
Work on rapport/attraction Just because she gave me her number and found me cute doesn't mean she won't flake if I don't build attraction/rapport. I have to figure out if she is looking for a bf or a good time and respond accordingly.

Thursday
Layla came over (2 hrs late again but she did have to drive an hour to hang with me so I am not too irritated again). Watched a movie at my crib and cuddled for a bit but still haven't kissed her and she left at like 2am coz she had work the next day. It is weird with her because when she comes over, she does things like sit in a chair instead of my bed or hang out on the bed in the corner as far away as possible. She has intimacy issues based on her past and so I try not to hold it against her but it is frustrating dealing with a chick afraid to show any signs of interest.

Friday
Went to an after work function at like 7pm but it was dead. Milling around outside, I called a few chicks and set a date up to search for a Halloween costume the next day with a girl I met on an online dating website. While talking to a guy friend a few minutes later, a female walked by and so I opened her and walked her to the train station before getting her number. Keri is a 19 year old, that stays on the Northside.

Next I went to the club. Danced with a bunch of girls, but two girls that are worth talking about in the journal. First, I was scanning the club and made eye contact with a woman, and she gives me a look as if she is remembering me. I have NO idea who she is, but I flash a big smile and she smiles back and walks over and opens me.

She tells me she met me a while back and I got her # but never called. I think she has me mistaken for someone else but I go along with the whole idea. We bump into each other a few times and I isolate her and grab her number in the lounge section of the club. Whitney was her name.

Later on in the night, the SAME thing happens. Kinda weird, I know. I make eye contact and smile and the girl beckons me over. I approach and she says we met back in January she says and she never forgets a face. I am relatively sure she is remembering things as they happened though because she says we met at a club I was a regular at. I was intimidated because she was very very cute and was with three girls that were damn fine as well so I told her I would be coming back for a dance later on and ejected.

I bullsh!tted though and postponed dancing with her to dance with other women and then when I looked up, her entourage was gone. She seemed like a quality chick so that pretty much killed my night as I spent most of it casing the club and hoping to run into them after they returned from putting something in the car or going to the bathroom as a group.

Saturday
The PoF chick said she would text me and we could hang out, but she never did. She is not attracted enough so I am going to stop talking to her and returning fox her ass if she tries to come back to either spike her interest or eliminate her flakiness from my life. Went downtown anyway but was pretty out of state and kinda irritated that I let an obviously attracted chick who I was feeling get away because of nervousness

Later on I went out at night, to possibly the sh!ttest +18 party ever @ DeVry University. It was possibly +500 people in there and apparently a film crew for MTV college parties, but the event was so poorly managed that it didn't matter. One bouncer at the door who couldn't stop people from cutting the line or rushing through, promoters raising the price for males midway through the night after purposefully not allowing males to come in for +30 mins, the dancing area was too crowded, too many people on the DJ Stage that kept bumping the equipment and making the music skip, a fight broke out, a lot of cliques so it felt like a high school dance at times, the party ended early, it was in the middle of nowhere, etc.

Long story short, I didn't have any success at all. I do get a text earlier from Leanna about a party. Leanna is a girl I am physically attracted to, but she is we don't have a lot in common and she wants something different than I do. We had a date along Navy Pier once, and a movie date with her and her little sister another time, but other than texts, we haven't really been in contact too often.

So I show up at her apt party and it is like 4 guys and the 5 girls that live there. Leanna is drunk. Her and the other girls greets me with a hug and then Leanna launches into a speech that is half flirtatious and half ranting about how we never hang out and I treat her like a stepchild. I laugh nervously and sidestep the barrage. Clearly she likes me so my plan is just to hang out with her for the night.

I sit down on the couch and after a while, Leanna sits down and asks me how the previous party was and did I enjoy myself. She is drunk and leaves me alone to flirt in front of me and not give me attention before coming back and asking the same question again 10 mins later.

I think the best way to describe her actions it is that she is in that drunk/insecure stage that I sometimes find myself in: trying to win someone over by making them jealous and being the life of the party instead of talking to them. She was bumping the butts of the guys and engaging with them while ignoring me.

However, it just didn't phase me tbh. It wasn't that I wasn't interested in her, but the dynamic was fvcked. The guys she flirted with were either taken by another female at the party or simply not any kind of threat sexually, so I just sat on the couch and drunk. Some of the other girls at the party noticed me alone on the couch and engaged in convo. Nothing substantial but easily more than Leanna had talked to me all night. I stay preoccupied with them and occasionally look at Leanna out of the corner of my eye.

As the night progresses, there is one girl who starts to spend more and more time with me, Leanna's friend, Biankah. She was a cutie but I saw her talking to another guy. My focus was on Leanna anyways so we just had a random conversation to pass the time and make Leanna snap out of the jealousy game and come talk to me. However, Leanna soon went downstairs with a bunch of the guys/girls to smoke and so me and Biankah were the only ones in the room save for one new guy who was on the other couch playing with his phone.

It started innocently enough but as things progressed, it started toeing the line ever so slightly. I was sitting on the couch and she was sitting on the arm of the couch and her legs kept rubbing against mine. Then she complimented me on my clothing. Soon she started poking fun at Leanna with judgmental overtones for dancing with too many guys. She asked if I was spending the night out of the blue, whether i was single, started telling me what she likes in a guy, etc.

Leanna comes back from smoking a good 30 mins later and by then, me & Biankah are deep in conversation and I ignore when Leanna re-enters the room. She tries to butt back into the convo in a non-graceful manner and then asks if she is intruding in the conversation within seconds.

Biankah tells her no and they have a little girl's meeting on the side. Because Leanna is drunk I can hear bits and pieces of the private convo. Basically she asked Biankah if she liked me and gave her the ok to go ahead even tho it carried an undertone of hoping she wouldn't. Either way, Biankah tells her nothing is going to happen.

Leanna ejects and me and Biankah talk more. When I go to get a drink she follows me into the kitchen to continue our convo and when I make my way back to the living room, she follows me as well. By now, her legs are placed over me while she sits on the couch's arm and I am stroking her leg during the convo. Eventually, I excuse myself to take a piss but then I start to wonder about Leanna.

I open the door and she is in the hallway with her female friend and a new dude. The female friend wants to smoke with him but Leanna doesn't want to leave the two of them alone so Leanna drags me along downstairs. The guy and her friend smoke outside the apartment lobby while me and Leanna post up. Her ass is on my crotch and hands are our hands are intertwined, resting on her stomach as we talk. I am split between staying with Leanna and making a move or going back upstairs to Biankah to give her a heads up that I used the bathroom but am in the middle of something.

Neither happens because Biankah, catches the elevator down because she is bored of everyone in the apartment (read: she is looking for me lol). Kinda weird having both of them there but we head back upstairs after a few minutes. Originally I was walking with Leanna but she walks ahead and re-enters the party so I am walking arm in arm in the hallway with Biankah. We get inside and I see Leanna dancing with another guy and so I thought fvck it.

Me and Biankah start grinding in the kitchen, where no one is, and then I spin her around and go in for the makeout. We makeout and then I break it off. She takes us back into the living room, but I don't feel like making a scene like Leanna is doing to make her jealous so I sit on the couch but Biankah sits on me and starts grinding away.

Later on, Biankah gets called to the side by Leanna's other friend who is, except for actual blood relation, pretty much her big sis. Again I hear the convo and it went something like this:

Big sis: Are you going to fvck him?
Biankah: *denies it*

Lol. What a random fvcking night eh. Me and Biankah end up on the couch under a cover making out with Leanna dropping by to 5th wheel it up occasionally. Eventually, Leanna sobers up and realizes that her gameplan didn't work. She kicks out the guys she was flirting with all night and gets a little snippy with Biankah and me a few times.

I was hiding the making out from Leanna as much as I could but as we were in the living room, when the music was turned off, I am sure she heard our lips smacking and our mischievous giggling. Eventually Leanna leaves to sleep in another room with a bed instead of the couch.

Here I feel like sh!t and so I crawl down on the floor where Leanna is sleeping to see if we can go in the hallway and talk. She is having none of it. Eventually I go back to the couch and go to sleep. The next morning, we made small talk briefly and she was actually nice. It wasn't like she was being cordial or curt but was actually pretty cool about the nite b4.

Leanna and a few of the girls have somewhere to go and so I feign activity and wait for them all to bombard me for my actions but it never happens. They actually just leave without saying a thing and I am there scratching my head like wtf???

Biankah is still there, but asleep in another room with Leanna's protective friend. I throw some dirty socks from the floor @ Biankah to wake her up but not the other friend. We end up in the next room talking, and then I get the # (and name). She told me her name the night before but I forgot it. Luckily, one of the many perks about dating black women is that when you forget their name, you can simply ask them how do they spell their name because chances are a) it is not a traditional name or b) it is not the traditional spelling. The convo went something like this in the morning.

Macallik: Actually let me get your # too.
Binankah: Ok, it's such a hard spelling. I bet you can't even guess it.
Macallik: nah I know I can't even guess it so Im not even gonna try
Biankah: Guess! Because Biankah is spelled so weird that no one ever gets it right.
*Macallik thanks his lucky stars and starts guessing the spelling*


After that was done, I had the strongest urge to make out with her purely to stroke my ego and make sure that it wasn't just a fluke last night but then I thought about it and realized how irrelevant it was. Needy sh!t like that is getting cut out of my life again slowly but surely. I leave shortly thereafter.

I can't stress that Leanna isn't a b1tch, I blame her actions on liquor, insecurity and my indifference to hanging out with her lately. In retrospect, I felt like I was a female and the two girls were guys using me to compare who had the bigger d!ck <insert pause here>, so I wouldn't be too surprised if I never get anywhere with either of them in the future. I probably have more in common with Biankah than with Leanna but not to the extent that it would warrant making Leanna feel bad. Maybe she doesn't feel any way about me hooking up with her friend and that was just the liquor the night before...

Still a very interesting night.

Tuesday
Called Brandi during the day but it went voicemail after 2-3 rings. Expected it because she never has answered a phone call from me so I left a voicemail inviting her out later in the night on an interesting date. No response yet. Meh. Gonna drop her to the bottom of the pile while I look for new chicks.

Texted Whitney while I was at work saying I felt like a drink after work and wanted to hang with her. She said obliged and I texted her the directions.

Looking back she was not very engaged and gave one word answers. Leading up to the time. I was doubtful she would make it. Texted her that I was almost there. No reply. Texted her after I had been there a few mins. No reply. Ended up getting a beer and leaving soon after.

On the bright side, I found a good potential date spot for the future. Not really concerned about being 'stood up' because I learned something from it: next time make sure the girl has high IOI through phone conversation or immediately following the initial approach before setting up a date.

It is kinda depressing how many girls I've noticed will agree to hang out and then go MIA when the time comes. Not even a text with a bullsh!t excuse or anything. Higher interest/rapport will decrease the chances of either occurrence though...

Friday
Called Biankah but she was at dance practice. Told her, "Cool hit me up later" but she never did. Meh. My mind is saying I am looking like a chump because I stopped pursuing Leanna and she chased me, but now I feel like I am chasing Biankah and she is telling Leanna how I have called/texted her. I suppose I can/will try one more time before I chalk it up to a situation to volatile and delete both of their #s.

Later I went to the club with friends. Sausage fest and was out of state. Isolated one chick and had her against the wall but when she went to find her friends, I ejected. Because there was so many dudes, I should have settled for just sticking to one girl that night. Ended up losing her and she didn't want to dance with me later in the night. No #s at all in the club but at least I didn't spend a dime I suppose.

Ended up seeing Marcia at the club too. We danced for a few seconds and then she said she felt tired. Officially not interested in her at the all. C'est la vie. Spent the rest of the night acting like I didn't see her.


Saturday
Quasi-lined up a date from a chick I met on PoF. Didn't end up hanging out though.

Ended up going to the mall with Courtney, who is a girl I got a # from a few weeks back. She brought her best friend, who was there when I got Courtney's # as well. They are 19 and goes to college in the area.

We hung out in the Water Tower and then got a bite to eat before heading our separate ways. Got a text saying that it was nice seeing me again while I was on the train ride home so I can pencil her in for another date later on down the road.

No wifey potential here, but someone I might be able to kill time with when she is in Chicago. I could try and fvck her, but the thought also crossed my mind to LJBF her and use her as a pivot because while we were shopping in Forever21, I definitely felt a lot of female eyes on me and remembered how potent being seen with a woman in public can be.

Sunday
Got a text from Whitney. Text back and forth for a few minutes but the conversation is kinda meh. I tell her I will call her and the conversation is even worse. It was like trying to squeeze water from a rock. No elaboration on her part or interesting things to say.

I ask her to tell me more about her and she said she is in the middle of something and will call me back. Never did. Deleted her #.



Thoughts
Flake city it felt like this week but got one date out of it so I can't complain too much. This week is just a blip on my radar because overall my game is definitely improving and I have more chicks in rotation which makes the flakes much much less painful.

Personally, the biggest difference between getting dates and not getting dates seems to be rapport/attraction. I used to really suck on the phones but now I am much more confident/relaxed and it has helped a lot. Talking over the phone seems intrusive at first but once I start to click with a girl, time flies on the phone and conversations flow and the charm becomes automatic. Texting on the other hand takes forever for me and I always feel like females are about to stop responding any second.

That's all for now. More when it happens.

Tuesday
Layla spent the night again. A little bit more kino, cuddling and conversation but nothing major. I admit that I sometimes am in a rush to get physical, but this feels excruciatingly slow. I am wondering if:

a) She is unsure if she wants to proceed coz she is vulnerable/on the fence
b) She just enjoys being in control

Anyways, haven't texted/talked to her since we hung out that day. Gonna do my own thing and let her contact me for a change.

Saturday
Stayed in for the rest of the week. Uneventful for the most part but I did get some reading done towards the end of the week. Also read a good article by Jeffst1980 about approaching which has reminded me to work on my day game.

Random fact: Finally finished MGS4.

Met Brandi @ a club but she was drunk and all over the place. Based on how we have interacted so far, I wasn't expecting anything major to come from it anyways. Talked to her friend more than her for most of the night.

Attempted two # closes but both girls told me they didn't have phones lol. The attempted closes came after less than a minute of conversation anyways. Bricks in the palace.


Thoughts
A slower week but have a lot on my plate outside of females at the moment. I am reading some great books right now and can feel my beliefs shifting for the better. I will have to compliment this with being in the field and trying to get results.

Can you share what books you are reading and the post by Jeffst1980?

^^^^

Here is Jeffst1980's thread


I am not reading any seduction-related books but I am reading a book on self-discipline. I already know what I have to do in the field, so now it is just about making sure I do it and staying consistent. I am sure you and many others on the forum who have been here a while are the same way.

Cold approached a chick in the Water Tower. We were on the escalator and made eye contact. I smiled at her and she gave me a big smile back. So I got off @ the bottom of the escalator and waited for her before taking the next escalator down with her and her friend. Was nervous but pushed through. When we got to the main floor, she stayed and we talked for a few minutes. Tonality and speech was rushed thanks to my nervous but that gives me something concrete to work on for the next approach.

We talked for a bit before her friend started blocking me. The target asked for my Facebook/phone # upon parting.

Texted her later on and when I suggested I give her a call to continue the convo and she stopped responding. Meh

Things I need to work on:
- Engage in the friend so she doesn't ****block me
- Got the ball rolling again. Time to approach more


Things I liked
- Didn't know what I was gonna say when I waited for her at the escalator but was determined to approach
- Got the first approach out of the way. (Next time I want to build and snowball into more approaches)
- The smile is becoming a deadly weapon in my arsenal. I use the fvck out of it at the clubs but I need to flash the pearly whites more during the day as well. Chicks are like flies to a fire when you smile I am finding, just need to back it up with confident conversation.

I have noticed that there are three mindsets I encounter regarding approaches:

Thought Process 1
My inner voice is negative and pessimistic. The idea of approaching seems foreign and like something that rarely results in success. Short of a girl opening my and grabbing for straws conversation-wise, I will not approach. If a situation arises for convo, I assume it is unintended and that I will blow it anyways. In the movie Swingers, and pretty much all of Mikey's dialogue in the casino is an example of this phase.

Thought Process 2
My inner voice is slightly pessimistic but wavering. Here I actively look for signs of interest but in the back of my mind, I am unsure what I will do if the signs are legit. Things pop into my mind like, "What should I say?" "What if the convo fizzles out?" "What if I read the signs wrong," etc. In this frame of mind I either balk or muster up the courage to approach and run out of stuff to say soon thereafter unless the girl appears interested and friendly.

'Thought Process' 3
My inner voice is non-existent. I don't really think because everything seems possible and attainable, so I just do. I most often reach this level through:

1) One girl showing extreme interest
2) Multiple girls showing average interest
3) Approaching multiple sets, regardless of the results

The first and second thought processes involves my confidence being tied to external stimuli. Outside validation is too flimsy and random to let determine whether I meet new people or not. Instead, affirmations, visualizations and your run-of-the-mill new-age self help tactics should help overcome this. The third process shows that cold, hard experience also works well by reinforcing my resilience and self-worth through repetition.


Current Goals:
- Pulling myself away from Thought Process 1 as much as possible. Also, recognize when I am stalling in Thought Process 2 and push myself to get to Thought Process 3.
- When it comes to setting and achieving goals, I have to be honest yet also inspiring. I've noticed the tone in many journals (mines included) often focus only on addressing things that went wrong flaws. Imagine if your dad only pointed out when you fvcked up or your HS Track Coach only talked to you when you were fvcking up? Setting and achieving goals is as much about celebrating successes as it is addressing setbacks.
- Internalizing and personalizing my self-esteem through the self-help mambo jumbo. It sounds so cliched but this stuff does works if you commit to it. Also, writing in this journal will give me clarity and separate my self esteem from my success with random women. If I write down my experiences, then I can see them better in retrospect, but if I don't, then when I am in Stage 1, every prior experience is seen with a negative hue

Two nights ago, I was coming home from another night exploring the Windy City. It was around 2 or 3 am and the train was filled with sleeping and solemn-faced transients. There was one attractive girl that I was eyeing but she got off a few stops before I did so nothing came from that.

My stop came and I departed the train. While riding up the train station escalator and contemplating what I would eat when I got home, I got a tap on my back as a girl proclaims that she can't believe I am just going to ignore her.

Apparently she had tried to open me seconds earlier but I didn't notice it. I take a quick imperceptible second to check her out like all males do. Her teeth are straight although they are not as close as they could be. It was not something I could kick a field goal through, it was more of an endearing feature... the kind of girl next door beauty that Hollywood often overlooks.

She has a hairstyle that reminds me of the R&B 'singer' Cassie, with half of her hair very short. To be honest, it looked like she had done it a few weeks back at the earliest and If she was a male, she would have needed a line up of her hairline but since she is a female, she can get away with it. The other half of her head is not as long as Cassie's, probably closer to Rihanna when she wears her hair short

I like what I see. Girls that are creative in their appearance and bold in their decisions are always a turn on for me.

She tells me that she likes my style and that she has never seen anyone dress quite like I do before. Holy indicators of interest Batman! I was dressed nicely but that is still a mighty unsolicited comment.

I thank her and tell her that I really like her eyes and then ask if they are real with a chuckle. Looking back it's a textbook neg but it was slight and done unintentionally anyways. She laughs and says no but her eyes are the same color. A likely story. We are walking and talking and then I slip in that I live like four blocks away aka walking distance and that she is invited.

She asks what are we gonna do at my house and I tell her a watch some TV, have a drink and have a little fun. Then I smile and tell her we are both grown.

She laughs and objects, telling me that she has to go to her friends house which is actually in the other direction. She didn't seem interested in going to the house tbh. However, she walked a block and a half the wrong way to continue our conversation. Sounds like stuff I would do during an approach haha.

She doubles back when her bus comes and asks me to take her number and call her to continue the conversation via phone. I call her and we talk but the emotion and energy is much more subdued over the phone. She gets to her friend's house and has to call her friend to open the door and asks to text.

I text her to tell her that I got home safe and then invite her to movies the next day.

She obliges.

I text her around 11am the next day and eventually she responds that someone died and so she won't be able to hang out but we can catch up another time.

Things that rocked
- I drove the conversation
- The way I dress is attracting women and giving me a better shot at success



Goals for next time
- She made a comment about guys thinking with their little head instead of their big head. Can't tell if it was a genuine concern or merely a sh!t test to see if I had a pair. I played it like a sh!t test which might have worked against me. Later I found out an ex of hers put her in a situation that required a lot of trust and then cheated on her. Next time, I will refrain from committing to a stance until I know more about her.

Mid-afternoon on Thursday, I went downtown to do some running around and get out of the house. I was making eye contact with a cutie on the train for a while and I told myself that if she got off in the heart of the downtown Chicago (Jackson - Lake train stations) that I would muster up the courage to approach.

She got off at Jackson and after a second or two of uncertainty, I followed after her. I stayed behind her for what seemed like forever as he walked to the far escalators at the train station. It must have been at least a 1-2 minute walk that I walked slowly behind her before we reached the escalator.

When I got to her, I started to panic but forced myself to go in anyways. I tapped her on the escalator and said:

Macallik: I like your boots
Girl: ...Thanks
Macallik: Let me rephrase that..
...
Macallik: ...I thiiiink you are cute and I like your boots
Girl: Ok

The 'Let me rephrase that' and the 'I think you are cute...' lines were supposed to be one smooth sentence but my voice dropped midway through the delivery and became inaudible and my arm was gesturing for words that weren't coming out. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how NOT to approach lol.

I felt like I had already lost so I said nothing else and hoped she would restart the conversation but expected her to tell me how weird I was and to leave her alone. She did neither. I slowed my walk when we got off the escalator and I looked to see which way she was going. This time, I made sure to go the opposite way. I yelped goodbye to her, to which she acknowledged with a terse head nod.

She seemed interested but shy on the train but when I approached at the station, she seemed irritated and uncomfortable. I think that was because of the dynamic leading up to the approach. I might as well have followed her home or jumped out of a bush. I need to pace the situation better next time by acknowledging that "I followed her off the train but...", or I will approach on the train or as soon as we get off the train. Following her to the escalators in silence is kinda creepy in retrospect.

Things that rocked
- Pushed for eye contact on the train
- I saw something I like and went after it

Goals for next time
- Relax and don't make an approach any more than it needs to be. If the approach doesn't go well, just view it as a warmup to the main event.
- Have a few fall back topics in mind to get the convo started
- String together multiple approaches

New Years Eve. One of the most expensive nights of the year for me. This year was no different. The party I went to started at 8pm but me and a friend got there around 9:30.

We had been pregaming on the Ciroc and so needless to say, we were feeling good. What is even crazier is that they were giving out free Heineken's at the door. The first thing that went through my mind as I received a free imported beverage was 'Where they do that at' </ghetto voice>

I knew the night was gonna be a struggle relatively soon though, because as I was telling my friend that they were giving away free alcohol, he instantly and inadvertently knocked my full beer onto the floor, spoiling my spoils. Something told me he might be starting to feel the effects of the Ciroc Peach we pregamed with.

Fast forward 20 minutes. I find my friend on the couch and he says to me, and I sh!t you not, "Guess what happened! I just fell down!!!!" as if it was the best thing since sliced bread. Five minutes later, I reconvene with him and security intervenes on our conversation, asking me to escort him out for air before they escort him out and he cannot return.

I've never encountered such a friendly bouncer giving patrons an option like that so I was more than willing to take my friend outside. Everyone knows what happens next though. First it was the proclamations of soberness that were negated by stumbles and falls. That was followed by throwing up and falling asleep in the bushes drifting in and out of consciousness to dry heave.

All this before 10:30pm.

I go into his pocket and his Iphone is still unlocked and on a phone call. I dil a family member to pick him up. They arrive shortly thereafter and after we guide him into the front seat, I head back to the club.

The rest of the night I was on pussay patrol. Danced with a lot of girls. One I remember is that a girl went past me, taller than me but cute in the face. She checked me out as she walked by and so I stopped her and said:

Macallik: Have we met?
Alana: No I don't think so
Macallik: You don't remember me huh
Alana: No... I don't think so
Macallik: That's probably because we never met haha. Let's just act like we have tho anyways.
Macallik: I haven't seen you in forever, how have you been?

We carry this thread on for a bit while grinding and I tell her that she didn't dance this good the last time we met. She ends up ejecting but asks for my number before leaving.

Going around the club, I bump into a girl at at the bar area who I think was checking me out. We start grinding and she is vibing hard and the kino is there. I escalate things to kissing and then her friend comes in and grabs her forcefully and stares at me. Then she starts talking to her friend. Because of the loud environment, most of the conversation is audbile... and funny I might add.

Friend of the girl: I was about to pull you away but he is real cute... Winning!

Then the friend proceeds to discuss the guys that have been talking to her that night, interjecting 'Winning' or 'Losing' at the end of each sentence to illustrate whether it was a positive/negative experience. Eventually she leaves us alone again.

I grind on the girl some more before she goes for a bathroom break. She comes back and I start grinding with both of us facing the bar and our back to the dancefloor. I have my hand up her dress and I am rubbing against her pvssy through her underwear. We start talking dirty to each other, she grabs my d!ck and likes what she feels. Later she tells me that she has to go but she is in town for a night and has a hotel room to herself off State and Wabash and gives me her phone number.

It's on.

I kiss her goodbye and bide my time before I plan to go to the hotel. I grab my phone and try to call her like 15 mins later but when she answers she tells me that she is with friends and stays with her mother but to call her tomorrow.

I am thoroughly confused here but I dejectedly agree and party for like twenty more minutes.

The club closes and I meet a two-set and walk them to their apartment before getting the number of the target. I was pleased with that set because I engaged in the friend, which I normally don't do, and the set went much better as a result.

I mill around outside for 15-20 mins more, looking for my lost wallet as well as cute girls. One abusive boyfriend in the back alley was having an argument with his girlfriend and threatened me when I talked to his girl. In my defense, I saw him walking away and her crying and so I went to console her and he went all 'Mel Gibson leaving a voicemail' on me. I head to the train station and wait for the train eventually.

Then it clicks.

When I got Alana's #, I saved it in my phone under her name. With the girl who I made out with, I had her number but I didn't save her name. In a drunken error, I called Alana for the booty call instead of the girl who I was making out with at the bar that invited me back to her place. Fvcccccck.

I call the right number finally and it rings before going to voicemail. I call and text a few times and nothing. Weaksauce.

Eventually I go home and then call one last time. She picks up and then when she realizes that I am almost home, she hangs up on me. D'oh.


Things that rocked
- Salvaged a night where I lost my wallet and spent at least 40 mins outside tending to a drunk friend
- My thought process was stage 3 for the entire night
- Make out in the clubs are always cool

Goals for next time
- Save names in my phone ASAP
- Don't get so drunk that you lose your wallet
- More talking so you can figure out who is compatible/DTF

Alana went back to school, so no hang out there. The other chick was only in time for NYE so no action there either. That left:

macallik said:

The club closes and I meet a two-set and walk them to their apartment before getting the number of the target. I was pleased with that set because I engaged in the friend, which I normally don't do, and the set went much better as a result.

Click to expand...

Her name is Mackenzie. We texted back and forth a few days later. We have a lot in common, and often we would send replies to that took up 2-3 text messages. Cool chick. On a whim, I invite her out to a club for a small concert they are having and she obliges.

I give myself it a little touch up in the mirror with my outliner. I head out around 8:30, leaving a handful of rejected outfits strewn across my bed. I send her a text when I get to the club around 9:30 and she tells me she needs another 30-45 mins coz she got stuck watching tv. Terrible excuse for sure, but I am in a good mood so its whatevz

I head inside and grab a drink. Sooooo many chicks that are my type are inside and checking me out. It was standing room only and by the time I worked my way to the front where the nexus of cuties are, Mackenzie is due to arrive. A girl on a date is worth two at a concert so I fall back and bird watch.

Mackenzie arrives and the date went smoothly. Some kino here and there and some decent conversation. I am definitely going to start going to more concerts to meet women, and for potential dates.

Friday night, I went out with some friends to a party on the west side by the United Center. I had heard enough bad stories about the area surrounding the Madhouse on Madison to be concerned but I decided to suck it up and head out anyways.

The crew and I get there early and start dancing with chicks like mad men. I think we were the first ones to start hollering at females at all. Prior to that, it was more like a high school dance than a house party, with females dancing in one corner and guys anxiously watching in the other.

As the night progressed, it was your typical house party with the smell of kush choking your chest cavity, someone selling shots of liquor to the inebriated and uninitiated in the kitchen, and a long line for the bathroom. I danced from girl to girl and there was never enough space or time to talk to one for any extended period of time in the tight living room that had been converted into a dancefloor.

Other than that, the party was great most of the time and I was in phase three all night. Funnily enough, a friend I was with wasn't drinking and was clearly in phase one. He would tell me not to approach because a girl wasn't on sh!t, and in my head, I am just thinking, "why not Zoiberg?" Multiple times, I would just go into a 3-set solo, talk for 5-10 mins or dance with the target for 3-4 songs. Not as many attempted closes as I would have liked, but I had balls of steel.

Got 2-3 numbers in total. My friend got the same number with one of the chicks and felt like he had a better shot at her so I let that one go. The other one, I talked to and had laughing but she was looking for someone to find out where the party was more than get some d!ck or do something interesting. Plus her friend really wasn't sh!t so I formed a negative opinion of her as well.

While parking lot pimping, I got a Facebook from a girl in a car, posted up before driving home while my friend talked to her passenger. The conversation is starting to get interesting as we touch on commonalities, when all of a sudden, I see a group of people running down the street in my direction. I had my head in the window of the car so I didn't hear anything, so it takes about half a second before my mind weighs the situation and comes up with a viable reason:

House party + guys banging inside + people running = Shots fired?!?!


I take off and run across an empty parking lot and call it a night soon after. No one got shot, but that it why I don't like fvcking with parties in the hood.


Things that rocked
- Stage 3 all night!
- Encountered some sh!t tests throughout the night and tackled em like a bawse

Goals for next time
- Don't stay out too late in hood parties
- Remember that you are there to meet new chicks, not just grind their ass for 2-3 songs
- Do the opposite of what the crowd is doing. If everyone is dancing in the living room, try to take a chick on the porch, etc. Separate yourself from everyone else in the party so that a) you can make an impression b) she knows who you are when you call

On Saturday, Mackenzie said that she wanted me to take a look at her computer and would bring it to my crib in the afternoon. She had to take care of some stuff during the day, so she ended up coming over once the sun was down.

Tried to fix her computer for a bit until I remembered that I don't know sh!t about computers and only acted like I did so she'd have an excuse to come to my house. We watched playoff football until it ended, and then I cooked some BBQ chicken and boxed rice (don't knock it til you try it) before watching a movie.

After that, we went to my bedroom to go to sleep. I hadn't even kissed her yet, so while her eyes were closed, I pulled her chin up lightly and pecked her. Cue making out and fooling around every few hours for most of the night.

Woke up late the next day and didn't do sh!t. Mackenzie walked and grabbed some Burger King for both of us, then she fell asleep on me for a few hours while I watched the Sunday playoff games. Then she woke up for animation domination and watched that before we retired to the bedroom again.

She left around midday on Monday. Definitely easy to hang around and talk to. Likes affection as do I... hopefully it is not a sign of clingyness though. I am not ready to hang my hoe hunting hat just yet.

Update
Long time since I've posted in the journal. Currently I am 'seeing' 2 girls on a regular basis and a few others on a less consistent basis. For the first time in a while, I am dating females whom I have things in common with. However... I don't feel like I am ready for a relationship any more than before.

In fact, right now, I feel more obligated than interested in going out on dates with the steady females in my life. I often have to deal with things like drunk texts posing relationship-related questions, or listening to gripes about my lack of time for them, and pouting/guilt trips if I end a date prior to when anticipated, etc. It isn't even that I am getting texts/calls daily from either, but if I don't reach out to them a few times a week, I know that I will be hit with some passive-aggressive sh!t the next time we talk.

I thought that I wanted something long term with someone compatible but now I am not so sure. Perhaps the issue is that the current females in my life are more compatible than previous females, but still not compatible enough. Or maybe I just am not cut out for long term dating. I am still trying to figure this all out.

What I do know is that 6th and 7th dates don't make me feel alive and hungry like when I am cold approaching and scheduling first dates. I have more fun going to the club alone and getting a few numbers than going on a date with someone I feel like I know inside-out. I like the uncertainty of the chase, but I am indifferent to the predictable period that often follows.

Main Plates
Mackenzie: Met on NYE. Have been hanging out ever since. She knows we are not bf/gf but this is because she thinks I have 'real' gf which explains why we don't hang out 24/7. She is quirky and laid back for the most part although she has dropped hints about 'us' which I avoid or play dumb when they occur. She is free spirited and optimistic in a way that resembles Phoebe from Friends although not as off the wall or hippie-ish.

Kelly: Met @ the club. Very intelligent and has a hunger for knowledge that meshes well with me. We have these amazing conversations about any and everything about society and she still has an edge to her that I like. Something about discussing Marx with someone and then listening to her pump 2 Chainz in her speaker that I enjoy.


Second Tier Plates
Jen: Met her at the club as well. She is 32 but comes from a similar upbringing as me. On our first 'date', we met in the park and talked for 1-2 hrs. Our 2nd time hanging out, she came to my house at 12:30am and spent the night. The next morning we had brunch at a restaurant and then went to her place for a few hrs.

Found out later on that she has 3 kids and is divorced. Took the wind out our interaction almost completely. It isn't that I look down on her for either of those facts, but it served to remind me that although we have similar upbringings, we are in two different parts of our lives unlikely to mesh well.

Third Tier Plates
Gina: She texts like she is on twitter and is near her characters limit.. she uses abbreviations only she knows the meaning to, misspells words and appears to say 'to hell with sentence structure, grammar and the English language in general'. She has a completely different background than me and is a 22 year old single mother.

With that said, she is exactly my type physically. I am very attracted to her body but I know there is no chance of a relationship after that.

Leanna: Cute girl. Kinda young and we never really have anything to talk about when we got together. She invited me to a party where she was drunk and flirting with guys to get a reaction. I ended up making out with her best friend so I didn't hear from her for a while but she reinitiated contact recently and we talked about hanging out again. So she is kinda in the picture again but not really

She usually has a few guys in her rotation and we don't have a lot in common so I am not looking for anything more than a little fun.

Keri: Met her through a friend and she kinda had a bf but they were going thru things. She was into me and we fooled around a bit. She has a tendency to become a liability when she is drunk, and when she is sober, she is that girl that asks questions like, "Am I talking too much?" "Am I making this conversation awkward?" "Am I rambling again?" etc so she is not a joy to be around all the time. Last time I saw her, she threw a hotel party and her bf showed up. Me and her snuck out and fvcked in the hotel stairway.

She is not unattractive or unintelligent but I just am not feeling her. She pitched the idea of no strings attached fun originally but whenever she gets drunk, she tells me that I 'can mess around with other ppl as long as I am honest with her' as if she believes we are in a relationship that requires disclosure. This is when I started avoiding her but I might hook up with her if I get wasted and bump into her.