OP I know that you think all of this is important, but I have news for you: it isn’t.
You’re sitting here in analysis. Stop thinking and start doing. None of the crap you’re wondering about is going to get you a date, get dates first, if you struggle in the dates come to us for answers. Frankly I think you’re not having success even getting dates. First things first.
And if you are, you’re talking too much. Lie about your past, just do it. You’re in extenuating circumstances, embellish the truth and get past this block you have in your head. If you get them in bed and you suck, the only thing that will help is experience happens to most men, they simply suck at sex, some improve but it’s linked to experience.
Stop bellyaching and overthinking. Get dates, get laid, forget LTRs for now, get some leg.