You're no fun

[Rainman4707]

Been seeing a HB7.5 for the last 9 weeks. I think we are getting on well. I’ve been fuc*king her all week & she emotionally connected with me on Wednesday night.

I quit drinking Fifteen months ago. When I was drinking sometimes I would go over the top & drink to much. I tried to control it, but I could’nt so decided that I wanted to quit drinking. Now overall me & HB7.5 have been having a good time together


I've been seeing her. everything is fine & going well. Theres a couple of times she has asked me to go party with her after we’ve had a meal to which I’ve declined. The reason I declinced is basically I did’nt want to go & do that.

Well I was having a meal with HB7.5 & afterwards she asked me to go party to which I declined. She said “ “You’re no fun”

I knew that me not drinking would make me less exciting, but that’s just the way it is.

Maybe I need to find a girl who dose’nt drink.

Anyway we did’nt speak much for a couple minutes after she said that. Then she said “ I was only joking”

I told her that if she did’nt find me fun then…maybe its best she finds someone who she thinks is “fun”

When we got back to car she said that when she was inside restauraunt she got the feeling she might lose me & it hurt a lot. She felt she was getting to close to me. She said she really likes me. She asked how I felt :-

Rainman :- I enjoy spending time with you ( she was’nt happy at my response)
HB7.5 :- So what do we do when we hit 3 months
Rainman : I don’t think that far ahead

Anyway I think she was wanting me to make some kind of commitment

She said she dose’nt think I’m boring & she enjoys spending time with me. She babbled on about how she says “You're no fun” to her friends all the time & Craig her male friend is’nt much fun blah blah blah. She said she dose'nt find me boring & enjoys spending time with me.

I normally go back to hers afterwards, but I walked her home & left she said she really thinks I should come in ( I did’nt) She was like are we going to see each other again. I said yes. She said you don’t look very happy. Whilst driving back she sent me long text about how she enjoys spending time with me & dose'nt find me boring

I’m not happy about her calling me “no fun” I think I might not contact her for two weeks as a punishment & see other women. It seems she likes me & im enjoying spending time with HB7.5, but I might find someone who appreciates me.

 

[mangotot]

She was making a joke with the line 'You are no fun' and you took it to heart. You should lighten up, stop being serious and joke a bit.

 

[backbreaker]

Lighten up francis


Ironically enough its going to be your ocerboard anal reaction to her telling you you're no fun thats going to make you seem like you're no fun

 

[Rainman4707]

I think she meant it. She wanted to go partying & was dissapointed when I declined.

 

[Tomo]

Regardless you hold your composure and don't let her see she's hit a nerve. It's like how I use to hate when woman called me 'buddy' or 'mate' as it reminded me of my old days as a complete AFC. Still twangs the odd time they call me this but I play it off and call them the same too.

Remember the line 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'. Don't let your butt hurt stuff things up. Getting emotional is the womans job.

 

[Rainman4707]

Regardless you hold your composure and don't let her see she's hit a nerve. It's like how I use to hate when woman called me 'buddy' or 'mate' as it reminded me of my old days as a complete AFC. Still twangs the odd time they call me this but I play it off and call them the same too.

Remember the line 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'. Don't let your butt hurt stuff things up. Getting emotional is the womans job.

On the night after she said it.....there was tension.....I told her that if she didn't find me fun, then maybe she should find someone who she thinks is fun.

I'm not gonna start acting all friendly mr nice guy.

 

[Chaan]

Why would you react offended when she is clearly just teasing you... The only reason I can come up with is that you think it is your weak spot and so it really hit you. The way you reacted actually shows her that you are indeed no fun at all

 

[Skyline]

So you didn't fvck this girl because she said "you were no fun?"

.. Are you see just right now?

 

[Rainman4707]

So you didn't fvck this girl because she said "you were no fun?"

.. Are you see just right now?

I've been seeing her for over the last 9/10 weeks & have been fu*king her all week.

 

[marmel75]

I mean Jesus Fvcking Christ man, does EVERY LITTLE THING that happens need to be over analyzed to death, and then "must figure out perfect response to situation 25,678"?

Seriously, is this what its coming to? Dude, do whatever you want. It is obvious she really likes you, we always say "Don't pay attention to women's words, pay attention to their actions" and all her actions show she is into you. Just let it go bro...2 weeks no contact after a stupid comment?? Seriously?

That might be the most childish and immature thing I've ever heard on here. If you think that's the way to handle that you really need to grow up. Just saying.

 

[Rainman4707]

I mean Jesus Fvcking Christ man, does EVERY LITTLE THING that happens need to be over analyzed to death, and then "must figure out perfect response to situation 25,678"?

Seriously, is this what its coming to? Dude, do whatever you want. It is obvious she really likes you, we always say "Don't pay attention to women's words, pay attention to their actions" and all her actions show she is into you. Just let it go bro...2 weeks no contact after a stupid comment?? Seriously?

That might be the most childish and immature thing I've ever heard on here. If you think that's the way to handle that you really need to grow up. Just saying.

I'm just sharing what happened Marmel. I think she does really like me....not sure what my next move will be.

 

[VladPatton]

I think you over reacted a bit. When she said ''you're no fun", you could of just said, "that's right, that's me, Mr. No Fun!" and left it at the instead of getting a little heavy on the topic. The good part is that you realized she's pretty into you. Just go back on course, forget the punishment. Chicks say stupid shıt all the time.

 

[marmel75]

I'm just sharing what happened Marmel. I think she does really like me....not sure what my next move will be.

You aren't understanding the difference between being alpha and acting alpha. Right now you are acting.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Either you are massively overreacting or you are rationalizing your desire to dump her. There is no other logical explanation.

 

[TheCWord]

I think you were doing great right up until you got to the car.

I get what other posters are saying about how overreacting to being called no fun could come off as a little too sensitive, but I would react the same way.

I respect you going silent and letting her walk back her comment. I respect even more you telling her that if you're not fun enough for her, she's welcome to find somebody else. And I'm excited for you by the fact that you saying all this resulted in her being scared by the idea of losing you. That's what you want the dynamic to be.

You started to over game a little bit when she asked you about the future. Unless you truly don't see anything longterm with her or are just genuinely not sure yet, you needed to give a little bit here. You pulled back, she chased, then you pulled back even more. Actually, it's more like you threw a brick wall up with your comments.

She said something that, if not handled properly, could've meant the end of your relationship. But you demonstrated you're not concerned about changing for her and she reacted by showing you that she likes you just the way you are. The attitude in the car makes it look like you're either still butthurt from the fun comment, even though that case should've been closed at that point, or you really don't like her.

As a sidenote, I imagine it would be quite difficult for a non-drinker to have a functional LTR with someone who likes to drink and party. It's possible, but the girl would have to sincerely not care - she could go out and party and respect your decision to stay dry. With this particular girl, I think she had a very honest moment there and backtracked when she thought you'd walk away. It is likely to rear its head again in the future.

 

[jimmy18]

Agree and amplify

 

[Bible_Belt]

A lot of threads on sosuave begin with the mistake of taking a woman's words seriously. This is one of those threads.

 

[Zarky]

Seems like OP is in charge in that relp. Good to see. Carry on.

 

[uadialej]

Remember the line 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'. Don't let your butt hurt stuff things up. Getting emotional is the womans job.






How To Get My Ex Boyfriend To Forgive Me

 

[Rainman4707]

You aren't understanding the difference between being alpha and acting alpha. Right now you are acting.

....acting alpha?? my thinking is that yes maybe I am overreacting ha, but it niggles me that she said I'm no fun...maybe i'll move on from this & keep seeing her. I don't think much about being alpha..maybe you could explain in more detail?

Well I’m busy working all week so I wont be seeing her. I probs will see her again..I have time to think about it.