Your Opinions on "The Rules"

[oceanlover1970]

I'm posing this question primarily to the men on this discussion forum, but I'm interested in the women's opinions as well.

I've read both "Rules" books, and there's lots that I agree with (like having a life of your own, not revolving everything about "what he's doing") and there's lots that I disagree with (like not returning phone calls - unless I think I'm being harassed).

From those of you who have actually READ these books, what do you think?

 

[Ebach]

Personally, I think all the rules are bull**** but that's what people do when they start playing mindgames and you gotta play along or you lose. It's just one of those things...

 

[ali_g]

Doc Love wrote one of his articles on 'Rules Girls'. He said for a woman that is really interested, she would temporarily suspend her "Rules" habits e.g. not returning a call in fear that she'll turn the guy off.

But even if she is interested and is still a diehard "Rules Girl", she isn't good relationship material as she is structured and inflexible.

I haven't read any other dating experts opinions on "the Rules".

 

[oceanlover1970]

What exactly do you mean by being "structured"?

 

[xblitz44x]

It's kinda ironic that Doc Love, of all people, is saying **** like this:

"for a woman that is really interested, she would temporarily suspend her "Rules" habits e.g. not returning a call in fear that she'll turn the guy off."

So let me get this straight? A woman who is interested will temporarily suspend HER rules, but a guy who is interested shouldn't suspend his "System"? Haha. That's pretty funny.

The Rules, The System, The Player Guide, all bullshyt. 100% crap. Women and men who are going to play games, and follow 'rules' are never going to be able to establish a meaningful relationship. They are marketed towards weak, cowardly individuals who are SO scared of being vulnerable. There is nothing attractive, or DJ about that.

 

[Phonenix DJ]

Rules

Someone said:

So let me get this straight? A woman who is interested will temporarily suspend HER rules, but a guy who is interested shouldn't suspend his "System"? Haha. That's pretty funny.

Those kind of things, sometimes, seems to be "devils tricks".

Its impressive how these games, "rules" work both for men as for women!

I assimilated most of DYD material and girls were "flying" over me!
I really dont know if its because of my appearance or those crazy "tricks" that made me more attractive!

I think those are not exactly tricks, but some attidutes that improve our personality thus making us more attractive to the other gender!

Trick or not. It really works!

 

[Ice Cold]

Can you post the main principles of the books?

 

[WaterTiger]

One good thing to remember...the woman who wrote The Rules" is now divorced.

The book I recomend to the guys is "Why Men Love B1tches" by Sherry Argov (ISBN #1-58062-756-0)

It makes it clear that the "b!tch" she's speaking of IS NOT the nasty, mean, arrogant woman who rips men apart as part of her morning excercise routine. It's the Babe In Total Control of Herself kind of woman. The one who has a well balanced life full of hobbies, friends and goals of her own. (Sound familiar yet?)

Her "b!tch " is the female DJ. Her "AFC" is the "Nice Girl" who chases guys, calls then 6 times a day, does everything for them, is needy, clingy and hears wedding bells during the first date.

She makes a point that the "b!tch" should be very feminine...but knows exactly what she wants out of life and a relationship. Her book has bullet points with principals like:

*Anything a person chases in life runs away.
*If you start out as dependant, you turn him off. If you're something he can't have, it's more of a challenge.
*When a woman requires too many things from a man, he'll resent it. Let him give what he wants to freely.
*Don't be a tease, it causes resentment
*When you nag, YOU are the problem.
*Unless you maintain control over YOURSELF, the relationship is doomed.
*Don't be predictable 100% of the time or you'll be taken for granted.
*The most attractive quality is dignity

Sounds pretty DJ to me!

 

[RogueWarrior]

Personally, I think not returning phone calls is plain rude. There's more than enough rudeness going around these days.

I've been told by classy women that good manners in a guy is a big turn-on. I'd have to say that good manners in a women is a highly-desireable trait. I've got female friends that think they're such hot sh*t that it's okay to be rude. Bzzzt...that's when I'd next-'em.

That's not to say that returning a general-purpose call within seconds isn't AFC behavior. There are times for aloofness and times when prompt return is polite.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

I've read the first rules book and the rules for online dating. There are 10 primary rules and then dozens of minor rules. These are the rules from the first book.

Be a "creature unlike any other."
Don't talk to a man first (and don't ask him to dance).
Don't meet him halfway or go dutch with him on a date.
Don't call him and rarely return his phone calls.
Always end phone calls first.
Don't accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday.
Always end the date first.
Don't have sex with him until you've been out at least 3 times.
Stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift for your birthday or Valentines day.
Don't see him more than once or twice a week.
No more than casual kissing on the first date.
Don't tell him what to do.
Don't expect a man to change or try to change him.
Don't open up too fast.
Don't date a married man.
Be easy to live with.
Don't stare at men or talk too much.
Don't live with a man before marriage (or leave your things in his apartment).
Even if you're engaged or married, you still need the rules.
Do the Rules even when your friends or parents think you're nuts!
Be Smart and other rules for dating in high school.
Take Care of yourself and other Rules for dating in college.
Next him! And other Rules for dealing with Rejection.
Don't discuss the Rules with your therapist.
Don't break the Rules.
Do the Rules and you'll live happily ever after.
Love only those who love you.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

"Don't have sex with him until you've been out at least 3 times."

Why would you listen to anything a women says if this is one of her rules?? If she fcuks on the fourth date she is still a hor!!!! As if 3 dates is a qualifier for NOT being a hor!!! Your rules are from a American hor - they mean nothing!!!!!

If a woman likes you there are very few rules to follow - just be a man and not an effiminate!!!

 

[Seeph]

About all of this should I call? should I wait? BS here is what I have found.

Say you get a txt from a girl saying something like "call me later" dont wait 15 minutes and call her. if its early in day wait until night. if its during the evening.. say 7 or 8.. call her at 10 or 11 IF you feel its right.. if its a bit later wait till the evening or late afternoon of the next day.

Girls DO NOT like guys who call them all the time or right away. They start to think "Damn, this guy is already calling me back? He must not have any girls that ask for him to call if he's acting this eager."

If you call a girl and there is no answer or VM, Do not call back... The chances are they have caller ID. Sometimes they wont answer on purpose in order to see what kind of guy you are, if YOU are going to be a challenge and interesting enough for them, or if you come running to them like a whipped puppy. If there is a VM then leave a msg. If there is no response within a week call 1 more time.. then throw the # away.

 

[noseguard20]

Rules are the result of previous relationships than end in bitterness and resentment, on both sides, male and female. Don't you know that girls who don't know the rules, or who have never been in a relationship don't pay attention to stupid **** like if a guy calls the same day he got the number. Its simple, i like you , you like me!!! But these days an inexperienced girl will end up with an already embittered man that is ready to take his frustrations out on all the women of the world. She gets messed over and can't understand why, so she becomes bitter and takes her anger out the next guy who may be innocent and not know the game because she thinks all men are the same. So she ****s over him and now he's resentful. Its a never ending cycle that leaves everyone looking for answers and thats where the different rules come in. So people can protect themselves from getting hurt or being vulnerable.

 

[dietzcoi]

"The Rules" are a game plan for fukked up women to land an AFC husband, plain and simple.

Would a DJ want a women who went by those rules?

Dietzcoi

 

[dietzcoi]

PS SOme of the rules are OK, but the ones about not paying for dates and expecting gifts and not calling are complete BS.

DIetzcoi