Your Experience Of Being The Dumper?

[soulforge]

How many of you guys dumped a chick that you had strong feels for? But you knew it had to be done.


I always believed, bieng the dumper was meant to be easier to deal with, than bieng the person that gets dumped.. I personally find both are very difficult situations to deal with.. especially if your hand was forced to dump!

How did it work out for you? How was the NC experience.. any stories or happy endings.

 

[wifehunter]

I started dumping girls around 1992 (high school)

I've probably dumped 5 or 6 in my life...

the nc expirience is a mixed bag... one girl wrote with lipstick on my windshield of my car "i love you"

Lots of stalking... All of them were crushed and shocked. They never thought I would be the one to end things.

 

[Tictac]

Never kept a count. But sure, I've been the 'dumper'.

Never had a failure yet.

Happy endings? Yeah - not dealing with them again.

You walk for a reason. Once you do, keep going.

 

[Armourhead]

I've done it a lot. I much prefer to do it that way rather than just go ghost or fade away out of her life. When I fall out of love with a chick I don't have any ill will towards them and would prefer to see them make a full recovery. I give them the closure they want. I don't *****foot around the reason for the breakup either, if they ask me why I tell them the legitimate truth. At least then they get a fair shake at improving themselves for future partners.

 

[yungballa]

I'm all for the well-being of myself. If I find a girl has strong negative effects towards my mental health; then she's gotta go. I won't feel bad at all because I don't see a reason to feel bad for making sure I come first before any decision I make: meaning I'm making sure I'm happy and mentally sane before anything else.

Most likely, the girl will be fine. She'll go off and find some other guy in life most likely.

I dumped my ex but I felt good afterwards. I felt freedom. I kinda lied to break up with her (since I just wanted to be single), but I wasn't going to just cheat on her. So, even if I was dishonest with the reason that I broke up with her, I was honest with the fact that I didn't want to be in a relationship with her anymore and I dumped her.

I felt kinda bad for her afterwards, but that wore off after a while and I finally felt freed.

Now it's been almost a year since that and a lot has changed since then, but at that time I was worried only about my well-being. And I had to get outta that relationship so I did because I couldn't stand being in a relationship anyways. I wanted freedom--and I got it and I felt damn good.


Most likely, the girl will bounce back and just find herself attracted to the next man, so I don't really think it would be much of a problem for the girl... unless she has a strong emotional connection towards you; but even then she can still find another guy to play with her emotions. At the end of the day, she'll more or less turn up just fine. It ain't like girls are ever the type to linger over boys for a long period of time once another guy pops up.

Win win situation if you ask me.

 

[soulforge]

Seems to me most of you dumped girls out of losing attraction or falling out of love.. which i believe is easier to walk away from

Dumping a girl out of no choice, because she did something to hurt you, feels like a different thing all together.. still a very painful experience

 

[GeoMan]

Seems to me most of you dumped girls out of losing attraction or falling out of love.. which i believe is easier to walk away from

Dumping a girl out of no choice, because she did something to hurt you, feels like a different thing all together.. still a very painful experience

Of course. It's basically like being dumped because she gave you no choice therefore her interest or desire to stay in the relationship is low.

 

[Tictac]

Seems to me most of you dumped girls out of losing attraction or falling out of love.. which i believe is easier to walk away from

Dumping a girl out of no choice, because she did something to hurt you, feels like a different thing all together.. still a very painful experience

Go back to her. You just can't wait for her to get sloppy drunk in some bar, disprespct you and have her do blow jobs in the men's room.

That's why you started this thread. You want to find a way to go back.

Get it over with.

 

[Desdinova]

I'm usually the one who ends it. Occasionally the woman will.

There comes a point when you realize that it's just not worth pursuing the relationship any longer, whether it be because she's proven herself to be a piece of 5hit, or because you see she's losing attraction. Sometimes ending a relationship is like shooting a suffering animal in the wild, and sometimes it's like shooting your pet dog who's gone rabid.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

I don't think I had to dump any chick in many years. I would just stop giving them any attention and had their friends ask me "are you done with <name>?" and I'm like uhh didn't know we were going out . or "yeah i guess i just never told her"

I'm not one to be all formal in my breakups lol..

 

[wifehunter]

Dumping a girl out of no choice, because she did something to hurt you, feels like a different thing all together.. still a very painful experience

Most of the dumping happed as a result of jealousy sh1t tests... If I even get a hint of cheating, real or made up to manipulate me... she's gone! The jealousy stuff, is just intolerable! May as well get pain over with!

 

[logicallefty]

I have dumped many that I didn't necessarily want to, but knew I had to. The two primary reasons were flakiness and/or disrespect. I have not been dumped since 2007 when I got dumped by a woman for another woman. Since then, I have put the kibosh on ~8-10 relationships. I would say maybe 1/2 of those tried to contact me after, and the others were 100% NC both ways. Of the ones who contacted me after, I responded to one because it was about an item she left at my house. The other because she genuinely apologized for her own behavior which was something I have rarely had any female do, so I gave her the respect of a reply because I thought she had earned it.

 

[Killakittie]

How many of you guys dumped a chick that you had strong feels for? But you knew it had to be done.


I always believed, bieng the dumper was meant to be easier to deal with, than bieng the person that gets dumped.. I personally find both are very difficult situations to deal with.. especially if your hand was forced to dump!

How did it work out for you? How was the NC experience.. any stories or happy endings.

I'm 31, i got married at 18, and was married 5 years until she came home one day and i rudely told her to get the **** out due to her consistent lying and cheating. Then the next girl i was with i met like two days later, and even though i told her i didn't want a relationship we ended up in a semi-relationship for two years in which we would throw orgies at my apartment, make out with others in front of each other, and make video's. She was a bat-**** crazy BPD though, and so i eventually put all her **** on my front porch and told her to kick rocks. Well there just happened to be a cutie who lived right under me at my apartment and so i offered to give her a ride on my Triumph Daytona and we were boning in no time! She was actually the coolest gf iv'e ever had and we ended up having a kid together, but early on i started losing attraction for her. I told myself not to be a shallow prick and stick with her because she really was great! But the more i fought it the worse it got until the point where we had not had sex in six months. I ended it on good terms.

I was cruising craigslist of all places shortly after and ran across this tight 18yr old skinny redhead who i quickly swept up and she was even more kinky and ****ed up as the girl i dated after my wife! She was all into me beating her ass, tying her up, making her cry ect ect. I fooled around with her for about a year and a half before i met my next wife. I told the redhead our journey together was over." I wanted to get to know my then future wife."

My wife was ...ahh... from what i could gather amazing! She was educated and going to med school. She had strong family values rooted in the mexican traditions and she was a pretty good gf. But there were red flags i ignored like her cheating on me very early in our "committed" relationship, and the fact she was still attached to the "father of her two kids". She also became physically violent and attacked me with a knife while we were ****ing one time and left a 4in scar on my left arm. She was amazing in the sack though!!! Two years went by of hot fiery sex, and crazy BPD outbursts, before i told her i couldn't deal with it anymore and kicked her out. Here i am, never been dumped..But i am a little "lost" in my ways.

I think i will "try" to take a break from women and learn to be happy without them.

But, ya know....I love those crazy girls!!

 

[soulforge]

I hate the second guessing when you are the Dumper.. even tho you know it was the right thing for you, there is still a part of you that struggles with the decision..

I have been a Dumpee in the past too.. even tho it hurts like crazy, you have no choice but to move on.

My biggest fear is caving in.. and experiencing regret..

I hope i get through this without fuking up... i have to keep reminding myself, if she was a good quality woman, with good intentions at heart for me, then none of this chit would have happened in the first place..

 

[soulforge]

Go back to her. You just can't wait for her to get sloppy drunk in some bar, disprespct you and have her do blow jobs in the men's room.

That's why you started this thread. You want to find a way to go back.

Get it over with.

Hey man i admit this break is quite difficult for me, i don't have many people to talk to, so i come here for some support and encouragement.

I rather do that, than cave in.. and make a huge mistake.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

That's what I struggle with.

I catch the woman just doing things that suggest her interest level is low, so I will match hers and just go way lower. But in my head sometimes I'm asking myself if I had tried a little harder or did something different would it be different. Like I feel like I'm doing all of the initiating. After a while I'll just dive my IL and then it just becomes a mutual NC and though I like the chick, I spin other plans. The mutual NC tells me I did the right move but I'm still stuck wondering what ifs.


My experience has taught me to never dwell on these issues with the woman though and I just let things be.

 

[Glumix]

Haven't been dumped since 2010. Not talking about plates dropping me.

I dumped 5 or 6 women since then.

One was an aggressive crazy, older than me and wanted kids more than anything else.
Another who told me if she wasn't pregnant at 30 she would go to a bank sperm because she needed a kid at all cost. She was the worst s€x I ever had.
Another was a narcissistic, she fvcked me like crazy and faked every orgasm. She was completely depressed, with no friend, no life.
A young cutie, she was nice but no experience at all. She was 28 and barely knew how to kiss. I should have taught her but had better to do in my life.
And the last one was my crazy-ex BPD or whatever. No need to talk about her.

Every time I had second guessing.

When I second guess I force myself to put my brain back in gear because it obviously stalled at some point. Memory does not serve us well. It's too closely linked to our emotions and to what we currently need which doesn't make our exes any better.

 

[dutchmaster]

Not entirely sure. Only had two relationships where I actually cared for the girl beyond sex.. 2nd one being now. First time was like a mutual dumping. She kept going off on me for my "drug problem" I was in a bad time in my life so I was escaping every weekend with drugs and partying, eventually we both just said you know what. This isn't gonna work.

I don't think I'd have any trouble walking away if the girl did something to hurt me or turned to be a psychopath or some sh1t. Yeah I care about her, I like her a lot and she loves me a lot, so I would be really upset to have to leave but I would still do it. Wouldn't take long to get over it. One of the things this forum preaches is being a man and a man knows that when it's time to walk away, you walk and don't look back.