Originally posted by Tazman
IYou may also come off as a soft guy and people are irritated when you show some assertiveness (it doesn't seem consistent with the way you look).
I don't
do anything to make them think I am "soft." They are assuming this before we interact, based solely on my appearance. I can tell this is the case.
Here is an example: You don't have to prepay for gas at my station. Many times someone will pump say $20.01. Many middle-aged and older men will slap a $20 on the counter, turn, and hit the door.
This never happens to the owner. What they do with him is, they give him $20 then they stand there. Then he says "Twenty dollars and one cent" and they come up with a penny.
Same exact situation, same exact customer, 2 different clerks, 2 different outcomes. They perceive me as a person who won't follow them into the parking lot for my $0.01.
My body language, eye contact, and voice tone are authoritative. So before they even come inside they have prejudged me based on my looks and acted accordingly. So of course they are shocked and get defensive when I challenge them.
I'm not a ****, any time someone said "I'm a penny short." or "Do you have a penny?" I always gave it to them.
Also, I never had a single problem with a person who is at or below the age I LOOK (about 20). Another example:
A young man about the age of 18 drove right up to the front door, got out of his truck, left his door open, and was playing some music so loud I couldn't even hear what the person in front of me was saying. As soon as this kid came in I told him he was going to have to turn his music down. He ignored me (or possibly didn't hear me), went to the cooler and got a red bull. He came to the counter to pay, and I shook my head and said "Not until you turn the music down." He tried to stall me out to see if I would relent, but he never said anything. He went out and turned the music down, came back in and paid. Never said a bad word to me and we've been cool ever since.