needtobeloved
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2005
- Messages
- 14
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But I really want this girl!
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No, this is exactly the wrong attitude. If she is your only prospect, the one you're thinking about day and night, you keep playing different scenarios of approaching her and making her like you in your mind over and over again - that's called desperation. And it'll show. She's gonna see it (consciously or subconsciously) and nothing repels girls more than a desperate guy. That's why you have to be chasing multiple girls at any given time, so if one of them gives you trouble, the heck with her, you have other girls wanting to be down with you
But the really good part is this - the ones giving you trouble can sense instantly that you're not phased by it, you're displaying none of the usual signs of despair, heart-ache, supplication etc. You just don't give a damn, you just don't have time to give a damn, you're got too much action going on elsewhere. Guess what? This is exactly what suddenly makes you desirable in their eyes Mystery: "Notice how a man who gets girls gets MORE girls while a man who has nothing continues to get nothing?".
A standard question in ASF: "I really-really want this girl, she is so special, what can I do to make her want me!?"
A standard answer in ASF: "Make love to at least 10 other girls, then see if you still want this girl and think she is so special"
Mr Happy, ASF: "Do not ever fixate on any one woman, it turns her off. To lay her, she must believe that you like to **** women, that you would like to **** her, but that you don't NEED her because you have all kinds of women all over you.
[The good way to gain such an attitude is to] go out and approach 12 women a day, 4 days/nights a week. That's 48 women a week. Your skills will undergo massive improvement with such practice. You should always be able to blow off any woman to go pick up another one. If you won't put in the effort, you will not get the results. And if you won't even put in the effort, then you are a ***** and evolution is weeding you out. If you DO put in the effort, you WILL improve and get great results."
Allen Thompson, Don Juan newsletter:
"Obsessing about a particular girl, and whether or not she likes you, is the KISS OF DEATH! If you're worrying about whether a girl likes you or not, chances are she doesn't - or rather, SHE WON'T. She won't because your "worry" and your obsession with what she thinks of you will actually push her away. When you let yourself fall into the "obsession" trap, you begin to analyze everything your dream girl does, every word she says, every move she makes... and try to relate them all to you. She smiled at you - she didn't smile at you. She emailed you - she didn't email you. She returned your call - she didn't return your call. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety result."
And not just for you. If she comes to know that you're obsessing about her, she will also know, that you'll be analysing her every move in relation to you. Which will invariably make her uncomfortable. She can't be herself anymore, she can't relax and feel free in your proximity/company. Knowing that you're obsessing, she will feel anxiety, discomfort and maybe even fear when you're around. And on all occasions, she will want to get away, further away from the source of her anxiety, further away from you.
Well, but there's this rather slight and slim possibility, that she's also obsessing about you, right? I mean, people sometimes do end up with people who have initially been obsessed about them, and they live happily ever after, right? Yeah right, in fairy-tales they do. In real life however, if you want her, do something, anything, preferably of course something suggested elsewhere in this guide, and quick. But once you let yourself become obsessed and act under the influence of that - you're doomed. And this is also where the standard ASF suggestion of "spend some intimite time with ten other girls before you get back to this "special" girl again" stems from. Because once you're accomplished that, you'll ease up on the obsession, you will feel relaxed and comfortable (and as moods are contagious, so will she), she in turn will be more comfortable about getting close to you, and now that you're filled with calm confidence ("heck, even if she doesn't dig me enuff, I've just been with ten girl and can get laid at will anyway, so let's just have fun with this") you will be able to handle her more proficiently etc.
<<< >>>
No, this is exactly the wrong attitude. If she is your only prospect, the one you're thinking about day and night, you keep playing different scenarios of approaching her and making her like you in your mind over and over again - that's called desperation. And it'll show. She's gonna see it (consciously or subconsciously) and nothing repels girls more than a desperate guy. That's why you have to be chasing multiple girls at any given time, so if one of them gives you trouble, the heck with her, you have other girls wanting to be down with you
But the really good part is this - the ones giving you trouble can sense instantly that you're not phased by it, you're displaying none of the usual signs of despair, heart-ache, supplication etc. You just don't give a damn, you just don't have time to give a damn, you're got too much action going on elsewhere. Guess what?
This is exactly what suddenly makes you desirable in their eyes Mystery: "Notice how a man who gets girls gets MORE girls while a man who has nothing continues to get nothing?".A standard question in ASF: "I really-really want this girl, she is so special, what can I do to make her want me!?"
A standard answer in ASF: "Make love to at least 10 other girls, then see if you still want this girl and think she is so special
"Mr Happy, ASF: "Do not ever fixate on any one woman, it turns her off. To lay her, she must believe that you like to **** women, that you would like to **** her, but that you don't NEED her because you have all kinds of women all over you.
[The good way to gain such an attitude is to] go out and approach 12 women a day, 4 days/nights a week. That's 48 women a week. Your skills will undergo massive improvement with such practice. You should always be able to blow off any woman to go pick up another one. If you won't put in the effort, you will not get the results. And if you won't even put in the effort, then you are a ***** and evolution is weeding you out. If you DO put in the effort, you WILL improve and get great results."
Allen Thompson, Don Juan newsletter:
"Obsessing about a particular girl, and whether or not she likes you, is the KISS OF DEATH! If you're worrying about whether a girl likes you or not, chances are she doesn't - or rather, SHE WON'T. She won't because your "worry" and your obsession with what she thinks of you will actually push her away. When you let yourself fall into the "obsession" trap, you begin to analyze everything your dream girl does, every word she says, every move she makes... and try to relate them all to you. She smiled at you - she didn't smile at you. She emailed you - she didn't email you. She returned your call - she didn't return your call. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety result."
And not just for you. If she comes to know that you're obsessing about her, she will also know, that you'll be analysing her every move in relation to you. Which will invariably make her uncomfortable. She can't be herself anymore, she can't relax and feel free in your proximity/company. Knowing that you're obsessing, she will feel anxiety, discomfort and maybe even fear when you're around. And on all occasions, she will want to get away, further away from the source of her anxiety, further away from you.
Well, but there's this rather slight and slim possibility, that she's also obsessing about you, right? I mean, people sometimes do end up with people who have initially been obsessed about them, and they live happily ever after, right? Yeah right, in fairy-tales they do. In real life however, if you want her, do something, anything, preferably of course something suggested elsewhere in this guide, and quick. But once you let yourself become obsessed and act under the influence of that - you're doomed. And this is also where the standard ASF suggestion of "spend some intimite time with ten other girls before you get back to this "special" girl again" stems from. Because once you're accomplished that, you'll ease up on the obsession, you will feel relaxed and comfortable (and as moods are contagious, so will she), she in turn will be more comfortable about getting close to you, and now that you're filled with calm confidence ("heck, even if she doesn't dig me enuff, I've just been with ten girl and can get laid at will anyway, so let's just have fun with this") you will be able to handle her more proficiently etc.