You Can Only Take So Much Failure

[Pecker]

I don't quite understand my prolonged dry spell, but it sucks. I haven't so much as kissed or touched a girl in a sexual way in about three months, and even three months ago it was only a short makeout session that was the brief break in a prior several-months-long dry spell.

I recently posted about a girl I knew was interested in me. She isn't even that great looking but I thought that her signs were so obvious I should give it a shot. I said we should get coffee over the weekend, she said her parents were in for the weekend and didn't counteroffer.

I stop pursuing, I try to stop caring. I see an opportunity, I take that opportunity, and get rejected.

Meanwhile, I know a few bona fide pr1cks who get laid just because of their looks. They are not even Don Juans, they have no game, and they are damm near abusive.

I am beginning to think maybe my personality just does not match the Don Juan system very well. I have tried, extensively, and absolutely NO girl I've tried to DJ....over the two YEARS I've been studying this stuff...has actually been interested. I Had an epiphany today: EVERY SEXUAL EXPERIENCE I HAVE EVER HAD, REGARDLESS OF DON JUAN KNOWLEDGE, WAS THE RESULT OF BLIND LUCK.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't come off as desperate, I'm actually quite calm and funny. I'm not ugly, not short, not fat, though I've seen guys span all of these categories achieve better success than I am.

I feel sorry for whatever girl falls in love with me, because by that time I will hate her for being a woman. Luckily, she probably won't exist.

 

[squirrels]

...

I know exactly how you feel. I haven't had much success myself, but I chalk it up not as a failure, but as a learning experience.

One thing I've learned is that you can't define success and failure in absolute terms...you'll go f'ing nuts. Are you SURE you don't come off as desperate? I've learned that if you go into any female situation thinking, "The success or failure of this encounter is directly related to how much action I get from this girl," they WILL sense it and read it as, if not desperation, then as over-availability.

I was afraid to walk away, and so women took the initiative and walked away from me.

One thing I've kinda seen is that, unless the girls you're going after are absolute hos anyway (in which case you don't want them), women often go after the rich and attractive men not because of their money or looks, but because being wealthy or attractive gives them an "I don't give a f--k" type of confidence. They honestly believe that if this girl doesn't want them, they can find another one like *that*.

 

[dirtsphere]

Thanks! Now I'll go and slit my wrists

Seriously, don't be so ATTACHED to the outcome. It's only when we have specific goals in mind as to how things should be that we become disappointed or depressed when they don't turn out that way. Keep yourself open to the possibility of two things:

1) In this world of pain and suffering, some things are just more important than pu$$y.

2) Pagans call it fate, Christians call it blessings.. whatever.. blind luck is your friend. if you try too hard for ANYTHING or want it too much, you set yourself up for disappointment.

 

[dirtsphere]

Thanks! Now I'll go and slit my wrists

Seriously, don't be so ATTACHED to the outcome. It's only when we have specific goals in mind as to how things should be that we become disappointed or depressed when they don't turn out that way. Keep yourself open to the possibility of two things:

1) In this world of pain and suffering, some things are just more important than pu$$y.

2) Pagans call it fate, Christians call it blessings.. whatever.. blind luck is your friend. if you try too hard for ANYTHING or want it too much, you set yourself up for disappointment.

 

[violator]

Pecker, it is as if your whole existence depends on women. I think it is your attitude rather than anything else that is holding you back. If your self esteem is measured by your ability to pull chicks, then if you fail, your confidence goes down the drain. It is a vicious cycle that you don't want to get into.

Once you break that cycle, which is a difficult process, and realize that women are not all that important, you will be able to approach women with a new found confidence that will truly attract them to you.

It seems to me that at the moment, you have desperation written all over you which women can smell a mile away. They seem to know how to seperate the guys who don't give a fyck, and to whom they are attracted to and the guys who are desperate for affection.

Learn to be the guy who just doesn't care. Try to develop a ****y and funny side of you. It really works wonders from my personal experience.

Not too long ago I was extremely shy and reclusive. I could not get laid if my life depended on it. Women would always compliment me on my looks, but I was just not able to get any pu$$y. I just did not have any confidence and it showed. If a girl rejected my advances I would give up, go home and swear to myself that I would never approach a girl again. Every time that I talked to a girl, I was walking on egg shells afraid that anything I said or did would offend her. It was really pathetic. I was afraid of women. Arghhhhhhh!

Now, thanks partly to this site which I first encountered about 18 months ago, I have no fear approaching any girl and pretty much say whatever I want without thinking what she thinks of me. I have developed an indifferent attitude altogether. If I get rejected by a girl I just smile and politely walk away and go for the next target. Just the other night I was rejected 3 times at a club before I ended up walking out with a 8HB. I have women calling me on the weekends to go out. Sometimes, I have to screen my calls in order to get rid of them. What a change of fortune!

If you notice, the jerks and the bad boys who seem to get all the HB's have a carefree and indifferent attitude. If they get rejected they don't run home with their tails between their legs. They just go to the next girl who seems inviting. They possess an aire of confidence that women can't resist.

In the end, it is confidence and attitude that reigns supreme with women.

 

[stormwriter]

Pecker, it would be interesting to hang out with you in real life, and see how you relate to chicks to figure out if you do have any shortcomings or not. But alas, we can't do that. We have no idea what you look like, your personality, your words, your actions, body language, etc.

Dude, my best friend is currently in a FIVE YEAR DRY SPELL. No dates, no sex, no chick for FIVE YEARS. He's nothing special, and he's balding, wear's glasses, and is chunky. Once a month i get a "I'd be better off dead..." email. This dude COULD have game if he wanted, but his confidence is in the gutter. He's witty, sarcastic, and near-photographic memory. He can quote funny parts of most movies to make me CRACK UP. However, he LOVES the porn-type chicks, which he will never get. He's addicted to porn, but that's neither here nor there, other than the fact he's not attracted to average girls. (That's why he has NO DATES. He's not attracted to chicks that are on his level.)

Read what Ross Jeffries says about slumps. (I transcribed this from his Unstoppable Confidence tapes.)

POWER ATTITUDE #4: NEVER ATTACH EXCESS MEANING TO BEING ACCEPTED OR REJECTED. You're probably scratching your head right about now. have you ever been in a situation where you were in a slump? Maybe you hadn't had a date in quite a long time and then some women appears to show some interest in you. What happens? Do you stay calm and collected, determined to do what will work? HECK NO, you're probably chomping at the bit - you can't wait to go out with her. Probably what happened is that you were so eager that you wound up pushing her away by being so needy and dropping even deeper into your slump. Does this sound a little familiar? has this happened to you over and over again? This is how slumps tend to stay around for a long time. They are self perpetuating. What's going on here? Whats going on is that the meaning you attached to being successful with the girls whos showing interest isn't "hey, i might get some pleasure here. Great. Lets relax and enjoy it." NO. the meaning you attach to it is "GOD, someone finally likes me! IF i get this girl, it proves i'm attractive after all! and all those other girls were wrong! and it means my luck has finally changed! and this horrible slump is over with!" HEY. You can't do that and be sucessful with anything. Why? Because it screws up your judgment. It screws up your timing, and generally makes you someone that no one wants to be around. I'm trying to get you to see what your patterns have been, so that you can break them, and do something else, and get a much better result. So, dont attach excess meaning, especially if you are in a slump. the way out of the slump is to get to that place outside of yourself and being determined to practice the fundamentals and to do what works. To come from that place of being consistantly powerful with the knowledge that consistancy is going to pay off sooner or later, and probably sooner, in a very major way.