You Can Always Walk Away...

[icepick]

It is a big world. You are free to go anywhere you want. Other places have different people, different hangouts, different events. There are people everywhere. Not to put this in a "nasty" way but, people are expendable. You should never mold yourself to others. If people have a problem with what you are doing (and what you are doing is bettering yourself) you can always just pick-up, and "get the hell out of dodge."

Get your hands dirty if you so desire. Talk to the girls you find attractive, let 'em know that if they play thier cards right they can have some fun! If you get "made fun of" or "ostracized", you can always walk away. You will be a better person, and you will start off with a "clean slate" where people won't judge you to see if you are acting the way you have always acted.

Stand up for what you think is right, don't take disrespect from anyone. Don't be afraid of getting fired, getting yelled at, getting slapped...you can always find somewhere else to call your home. There are always other jobs. There are always other women.

Over the years, humans have evolved to conformance. People are afraid to stand out from the crowd. Those that were "different" were cast out from the tribe, and died. The only ones that survived were the ones that chose to conform. Now, we feel nervous when we act "different". We want to fit in the mold and not be seen, for fear of being "cast out".

We cannot be cast out.

People are everywhere. If one group does not like what we do, there are always others that will. Never let anyone stop you from becoming the man you were meant to be. Never let anyone keep you down.

"But ice...what about my family? I can't leave them!"

Well, if you think that way, you get what you deserve. Family is something you must be willing to risk. Saddam kept power because he sent his troops out to rape and kill the families of the dissenters. Men were afraid to STAND UP and revolt, like the American Revolution, for fear of thier families welfare. If it weren't for the war, those people would have been under his iron fist (and his decendants) for years to come.

Humans are social. The pain of nonacceptance is more than one can bare. When you try to break out of your mold that others have cast you in, when you try new things, you will fear that others will "cast you out". You may not think this, but IMO it is evolution at work.

Just know that there are other places, other towns, other people, and you can always walk away.

 

[Oxide]

good point.nj

 

[Sting]

Yes, you can always walk away. However, you must consider whether some degree of conformity will be necessary for you to achieve your goals and dreams. Here are some excerpts from a rather good book on self-improvement:

"The Ballpark Principle"

It's no news that you often find yourself forced to play by rules that others have made. Much of your life has been and will continue to be spent playing in someone else's balpark, operating under conditions that often produce frustration and stress. To achieve your dreams and goals, you must learn to work and operate effectively under those conditions.

You set yourself up to lose anytime you're playing in somebody else's ballpark and you break or attempt to change the rules without the agreement of the rule maker. If your goal is to gain control of your own mind, your own life, and yoru own future, how can you possibly operate effectively when it appears that you have little or no say-so -- no control? The answer is simple: Play by the rules even if you're not the one who makes them.

If we define winning as maximizing your progress toward your dreams and goals, then the more time and energy you have available for that purpose, the sooner you can expect to accomplish what you are after. You're wasting time and energy when you fight the system. It may be a natural tendency to want to buck the system, and you may succeed, but only in the short term. In the long term you will lose. You will lose credibility, authority, money, "face," even a job or a relationship. You're playing a losing game any time you fight a system which you have no power to change or control. If you choose to stay in other people's ballparks, you can only win by playing by the rules, like them or not.

Of course, you still have a choice when you're playing in someone else's ballpark. You can pick up your ball and glove and go home. If you don't like the boss, you can either quit or ask for a transfer. If the negatives of a relationship outweigh the postives, you can get out of the relationship. The point is, even when you're in other people's ballparks you are still in control. You can choose to be there or you can choose to leave.

 

[matius]

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