You always say yes....

[konig87]

Context: my girlfriend on tuesday asked me to attend a saturday event which i had already planned to take her to a concert, so she moved the event to friday, then she asked if i was doing anything on sunday to see if i wanted to go to a movie. (this is unusual for her and I was wondering why she was trying to fill up my weekend with events, especially planned out all on tuesday???)

I invited my girlfriend to a concert and she mentioned that there is a party by my house afterwards and that we should go to it...I responded big party huh? Sounds good...she texted me saying "Yay cool . I swear you say yes to everything lol..."

Is this a hmm don't be so available? (or a regular **** test aka if I get emo on her which i was thinking about lol) We only see each other on weekends. Is this a compliment versus an old boyfriend who never wanted to do ****. Or is this a combination of feelings of consciously she enjoys it but subconsciously shes turned off by it. Or am I just reading into it too much lol?

Usually I would just reply "Don't get used to it babe =P" But my AFC side wants to analyze and I kind of want to reply like "do I file this in the complaint box or the compliment box?"

and 2ndly...is she filling up my weekend with me and her time becuz she likes me or what... I normally would assume it is.


thanks

 

[konig87]

I'm having my monthly AFC moment...I'm just going to apply more C&F as I always do with a hint of seriousness and see if she reveals any more of her own feelings.

 

[catman]

Saying yes to everything she says will insure that you wont be running your own show and you will have no time for the things you want to do.

 

[moneyisking]

don worry i bet brad pitt and george clooney have their own afc moments... although very few... humans make mistakes too.

 

[Last_straw]

don worry i bet brad pitt and george clooney have their own afc moments... although very few... humans make mistakes too.

I bet they could be afc's 24/7 (and who knows, maybe they are) because they are rich. I wish ppl here would stop comparing others to rich celebrities.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I'd just say yes to all women you've acquired phone numbers from. Get them to commit, then pick and choose which ones you want to cancel on. I've canceled on 2 recently. Sure, one of them got mad, and will probably never see me again, but really, do I ever want to see HER again with that attitude? Who's more valuable, ME or her (and all her b!tchy loser friends)? She'll get wind of your seeing other girls sooner or later, then she'll get jealous and want to shove herself in front of you, and Make Sure You See Her.

 

[f283000]

How about instead of always saying yes you say no once in a while

Too much availability and doing whatever a woman tells you is the fast way to kill her attraction for you. I'm sure you heard this before but sometimes you need something to happen to wake you up to what you're doing wrong and that text was definitely a wake up call.

 

[KingofHearts]

How about instead of always saying yes you say no once in a while

Too much availability and doing whatever a woman tells you is the fast way to kill her attraction for you. I'm sure you heard this before but sometimes you need something to happen to wake you up to what you're doing wrong and that text was definitely a wake up call.

Great idea. And even better, why don't just fill up your own damn schedule. So when gf wants to drag you somewhere else, you can't because you have things planned already.

Hopefully you're still underage - but if you're not, then its kind of lame that you don't have full weekends already. Not that you have stay busy and go out all the time. Staying in and playing video games, watching sports or catching up on sleep is ok too. Just don't bend on those weekend plans when your gf wants to take you somewhere.

 

[Ease]

Great idea. And even better, why don't just fill up your own damn schedule. So when gf wants to drag you somewhere else, you can't because you have things planned already.

Hopefully you're still underage - but if you're not, then its kind of lame that you don't have full weekends already. Not that you have stay busy and go out all the time. Staying in and playing video games, watching sports or catching up on sleep is ok too. Just don't bend on those weekend plans when your gf wants to take you somewhere.

Catching up on sleep or playing video games alone does not constitute to a 'full weekend plan'. You can lie and say you have plans, and end up doing that, but that isn't a long term solution. Laugh out loud

Saying no is good, anyone can tell you that. However when a girl truly thinks something, she doesnt say it. So in this case, you dont have something dire to worry about. I'd be more concerned as to why you want to spend 3 days straight with her anyway. I would instinctively be bored and try to dodge or flake out of the rest of the plans. 'Giving eachother space' is the best way to live in a relationship.

And the undisputed best reply to that text would have been: 'no'

 

[konig87]

thx for the replies guys. I basically took it as look I love being around you, you make all my events fun, etc, but as a reminder for myself not to get too comfortable..

Not to justify our hanging out for 3 days straight but we dont see each other at all during the week, and as our summer comes to a close, ive been thinking about parting wayss as im back to college (summer fling type thing) altho this is a different story lol.

One thing that annoys me is when she actually had a plan that she wanted me to do with her it would end up changing like 3 or 4 times. This happened for tonight too...it was supposed to be a pool party and now its hanging out with her bff and bff's sister.

So I was just like " go hang out with your chica, ill see you on saturday". She preceeded to give me this lol "but babe - you don't want to hang out with us? =("

(i was thinking: No i dont want to ****ing hang out with ur bff lol, the only reason i would go is to hang out with u). Anyways i was just like "those sad puppy dog eyes only work on me in person" which she was like - "well dont make me drive up there lol - but its ok if u have other plans or w/e"

 

[konig87]

i think this situation is a little unique too because she asked me what i was doing on a tuesday of all days so i had no time to make plans except the sat concert and a wakeboard outing saturday morning.

(me making more excuses =P)

 

[Poonani Maker]

i think this situation is a little unique too because she asked me what i was doing on a tuesday of all days so i had no time to make plans except the sat concert and a wakeboard outing saturday morning.

(me making more excuses =P)

I know that this is just "talk" because you're not really doing anything with other girls, but you should've said, "I'm in my prime, and you know what that means..." and she would've said, "What?" and you say, "I've got to sow my wild oats, catch you later.." then she won't have no fun with her bff and bff's sister bc she'll be thinking, "I wonder what he's up to" But you HAVE to bring reality into her face and actually have another girl she sees with you. It's the ONLY way, to start this multiplicity effect. You can be the dumbest, lamest guy, but if you're Known to have sex with a lot of girls, they won't care What You Say, or What You Do, it's a Freedom that only comes with bangin multiple women. Women will start Reminding you that they're Still Here, that she's still around for you, I'm talkin weeks afterward, when you haven't talked to her in a while.

I believe it's This mentality that makes women want the guy other women allow to fvck them: She's allowing him to fvck her, so he must be improving her life somehow. I want that (improvement, whether it be money, or 'how to be' a woman or more feminine, added sexual experience, trips to places either in her mind or cruises or traveling the world, their minds start racing How can this man Improve me? like he's improving the lives of all these other women. I want to be with him!)

 

[Kailex]

How old are you and how old is this girl?

Second, what the hell are you doing allowing her to make these many plans, these many days in a row? I get that you invited her to a concert, but she's pretty much managed to hijack your entire weekend. Don't you have other things to do?

Just... say... "NO".

It's just like drugs. Gots you hooked, because I bet the sex is good which is why you agree to all of this.

So what if you don't see each other during the week. That shouldn't mean that you have to give up your whole weekend just for her... specially for a girl you are contemplating dumping in the next few weeks.

And this "hanging with the BFF's"... BORING.
I bet they're going to some boring place and talk about "Sex and the City" or some crap of that sort. Look, if she wants to be with YOU, she'll find a way to be with just YOU... JUST YOU. Why is she wanting to hang out with you and HER friends? You did well by telling her to go hang out with her friends, and you have to realize that some times you DO have to put your foot down and tell her "Just go with them". Then, the whole time she's with them, she's wondering what YOU are up to. But if you keep saying "YES" to everything, then there's no mystery, no wonder, no sense worrying about what you are doing which is like fuel to them.

Stand your ground.

If she has plans with her friends, you make plans with yours.

Women always say that they want a man who gives them whatever they want... the funny thing is, that the man that always gives them everything and always says "YES" is the guy they dump for the bad boy who will stand their ground and isn't afraid to say "NO".

 

[KingofHearts]

Catching up on sleep or playing video games alone does not constitute to a 'full weekend plan'. You can lie and say you have plans, and end up doing that, but that isn't a long term solution. Laugh out loud


And the undisputed best reply to that text would have been: 'no'

Come on Ease, I usually like your posts so I won't say anything too bad about your response. And I understand what you're saying, so this is more for anyone else that's reading this - i figure the people that get the most from this website are lurkers that never post.

When we tell new guys that they should be busy all the time, they take it to the extreme. Then they come back here and say "how do I spin so many plates and keep my life in order at the same time? Is this how a 'dj' is suppose to live?"

The answer is regardless of what you're doing, you should have a full schedule of plans. That doesn't mean you have to spin a dozen plates and have sex with all of them! Or go out every night and party like a rockstar until 4am.

The idea is you know what you're doing ahead of time, so when gf wants you to go have tea with her best friends boyfriend, you have something else already planned that you would rather do. So whether those plans consist of sky diving with a supermodel or just staying at home, the idea is that your gf doesn't take first priority. Your independent life is something to be cherished and you shouldn't have to give up anything until she's qualified. And you shouldn't have to explain to her what you're doing every minute you're away.

The way I see it, if a girl wants to get more time with me, she has an uphill battle - she has to fight for time not just against other plates, but my work (50+ hrs per week), working out/playing ball (6 days a week), other fun stuff with my friends, and yes occasionally catching up on sleep because another 50 hr work week is coming up. I work so much because i love what i do, plus its bringing in money that funds my trips/vacations, fun stuff and pays for my girls dinner if i choose to pay for her. Its hard for me to fathom a guy in his low 20's who has time to go out every night, juggle multiple girls, and make money so that he doesn't have to live with 3 roommates the rest of his life. By the way, making money is no good if you're spending it all.

The bottomline is, like Ease said, say no. Get a life, then the girl is just gravy on top.

 

[konig87]

we are both 22.

I appreciate the viewpoints guys, I ended up having a good night with some old friends of mine I hadn't seen in awhile. I do agree building your life and adding her on top is the right approach.

=)