You ALWAYS Have Control; How Do You Know You're Not the ONE?

[A-Unit]

You're ALWAYS IN Control

You are ALWAYS in control....of YOU:WHERE you are and WHAT you do and HOW you do it and WHY you do it and with WHOM you do it. ALWAYS. Let me re-emphasize. ALWAYS!

If you're with a girl who aggrivates you, you can leave her, drop her off, or turn around.

If you're wanting new friends, get out and meet new people who are LIKED-minded, I.E Want new friends and Want to be social, don't just find people who do the same thing but don't want to connect with anyone.

If you want more money, go get it. Find out how to do it, through ways you don't know and ways you do know, about ways that are public AND private.

You're always in control. You always have a choice. You always have a voice. The question is, do you use it? Do you exist? Do you speak your voice, opinion, and your thoughts?

When you're with family, it's your choice to be there. Or not be there. Things are bad or good in relation to something else, not just because someone arbitrarily determines with their morality that they are. Sex with a random girl is only bad when religion is considered. Without the consideration of religion, it's wonderful. Some religions respect povery, other's respect the abundance a God believes his people should have. Skipping is bad if you're going absolutely nowhere, and selling drugs, and wasting your life, but if you're Bill Gates or Steve Jobs, jumping ship proved to be very successful. Schools don't only teach you HOW to think, but WHAT to think, which makes them somewhat detrimental to the entrepreneurs whose basis for existence and profit is NEW thinking.

It's your control. There's no mandate in heaven or hell with your responsibility in life. Donald Trump might be a man, and he might have a new baby, but he doesn't do house-cleaning, and laundry, or baby-tending, he leaves that for hired hands. Rather, he spends his time relationship building, and leaves motherly things to his house-wive. Any normal, non Trumpian could, if they FOUND a way to do so. Thing is, not many make it a priority to find a way to do so. Some try to find ways based on where they are, not where they want to be. So if you were poor and were trying to fund a housekeeper and keep your wife home with the kids, and did so by working more hours, that's 1 way. The bad way would be to go into further poverty to accomplish that.

The responsibility of life is inscribed into your soul, and only YOU know it. Only you can decipher it. So get at it. When people bump you around, they're using their ego to push you into what role they THINK you should play, without considering what role you WANT to play. It's a reinforcement of PRESENT reality, not the possibility of a NEW FUTURE reality.

Guys think exerting control is exerting force over someone else, but that RARELY ever works, and if it does, it's with the weak and feable minded. Is that who you want to work with, the weak and feableminded, who seek managers and not leaders? FORCE and CONTROL respect FORCE and CONTROL, but cannot be used or controlled in the same manner. 2 DJ's of note couldn't control each other, but an AFC could be manipulated by a DJ. Likewise, a true professional can't be manipulated by another professional, GAME RECOGNIZES GAME. But an amateur can be manipulated by professional, hence why people who resort to FORCE ended up surrounded by bumbling idiots, instead of true assets and firestarters.

If you made a team of Pri-Madonnas, it COULD workout, provided you didn't force them or try to control them. Talent won't react that way. It seeks respect and leadership, the same as all aware men on this site do. It seeks to be unique, and exercise ITS talent since it is aware of it.

So a guy can't control WORTHWHILE a woman, but a TALENTED guy in control of himself can control HER via his own self-control. Meaning, knowing what you want and don't want, what you stand for and don't stand for, etc, and acting on these points makes you all the more powerful. Honesty, when backed by control and power is more powerful than lying. People revere honesty, because any fool can lie, and does lie.

Women will use the ideas of LOVE as keycards of control to break your steel and to suggest caveats on your relationship. It should never happen. When you cave, out of her needs, instead of your's, you set a precedent that she will go back on. Never let that happen. You're always in control. Not of other people, but YOURSELF. Remember that. You can get up, you can walk away, you can change your mind and change your life; you're in control. You own it. It's the only thing you own that CANNOT change, that doesn't go away, that anyone can steal. It cannot be bought or sold, and once it's lost, it takes awhile to regain. That power alone is what people seek to own. To control another is to control twice the life and twice the infinite possibility.

Happiness like sadness is a frame of mind, a choice we exert. If you choose it, choose it fully and live it out IN the moment, 100%.

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How Do You Know You're Not the ONE?

What if you're the guy to land the NEXT big sale from the big whale of an account?

What if you're the call to make someone's day?

What if you're the guy that girl is waiting for, but she doesn't realize someone like you exists?

What if you're the guy who invents....?

What if?

Just because you're NOT now, doesn't mean you couldn't be, ESPECIALLY if you're never tested and done something until you TRULY accomplish it. I don't mean a small sample size, since most people do things once or only a few weeks then stop, they never reach a point of true peace and harmony and success. Success is the constant application of principles that result in ever improving results. Improving results is based on what it is your doing. In lifting, you'd be a success if you got stronger or changed your physique. You're a success here if YOU'RE HAPPY and CONFIDENT you can meet the girl YOU want (one that wants you, and you want her). You're a success in life if you do what you want and live and/or die by that.

Think with THAT mentality, BE that mentality and good things will come. What if you're the one that...(positive)



A-Unit

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Bravo!

 

[squirrels]

 

[SalParadise]

I love you, do this.

Great post A-Unit. All true, and written in a fresh way. Especially striking was this particular line:

Women will use the ideas of LOVE as keycards of control to break your steel and to suggest caveats on your relationship. It should never happen. When you cave, out of her needs, instead of your's, you set a precedent that she will go back on.

‘If you love me, you will do this for me’.

When we’re being pressured into an action, a decision, or even a way of life by a stranger – perhaps a work colleague or just a bad salesman, we’re completely aware of it and call it out immediately. But you can’t be on guard all the time and often the ones you have to watch out for are your own family and friends.

Everyone has a design on your life, be it a design on you hanging out with them and having some beers over working on that project, through to what you should do with your career, and when you should do it, at the extreme. Everyone in your close circle, even people you’ve known your whole life.

Does it come out of a genuine, loving concern? I hope so. They don’t want you to screw up so they preach at you with ‘what to do’. It seems everyone is an expert on telling others what to do, yet their own lives are often blinded with vanities or blighted with mediocrity. Their own flaws are such an emotional issue to them, they can't truthfully percieve them.

(And you know what that's like. What does the DJ Bible do except thump the AFC over the head, 'tough love' style, with the truth behind his delusions?)

Friend of mine is passionately into films, just quit a civil engineering degree, which he was flunking to do a film course, which he’s excelling in. His parents openly moan about it to me -

'Why can't he get a proper job?'
'Why are you encouraging him?'
'It's a silly little hobby, he has no idea what's he's doing'
'He will earn less money and have an ugly wife' (yes! His dad said this).

It’s disgusting, the way that they force their own ‘way of life’ onto him, with no conception that there are other ways to do things. That following your own path, doing what you love, can be better than going for a ‘steady job’ you hate.

Most people hate the choices they’ve made, but are too scared to consider any others. Not only that, they NEED to enforce their failure onto their children, because it validates their way of life. Their mediocrity becomes their ‘nobility’.

It’s easy to say ‘I am my own man’, but as A-Unit has pointed out, people use their relationship with you as leverage. Even your best friends, and especially the parents who raised you, will at times use ideas of love, loyalty and respect as a currency to get you to do things. Because they know you’re an honourable man, and you care about doing things ‘right’. IF YOU LIVE BY SATISFYING OTHER PEOPLE’S IDEAS OF VIRTUE, YOU’LL GET BURNT.

The way I see it:

Do an inventory of your life, and see who of those you know you would like to be, or become. Who is the example of what you aspire to. Who is on your wavelength. Who is turning their day into their dreams, the way you want to do it. And be harsh. Don’t include people just because you love them.

Once you’ve done that, resolve to only be swayed by the advice, and prescriptions, of your true mentors and peers. Take everything else with extreme distance. One of the biggest mistakes you can make in life is to absorb, and live by, the ideas and intentions of those that you love, out of a false notion of ‘duty’.

In the end, living like this will satisfy nobody. Do every 'duty' your loved ones give you, and you'll do them a massive disservice in the long run.

The flipside of that is staying closed to outside influences, and seeking out, and literally SOAKING UP the mentality and attitudes of those who are more advanced than you in the things that matter, or on the same path, is one of the BEST things you can do.

It’s been said before, but I figure it’s one of those things that needs to be repeated and said in different ways for it to really sink in.

Case in point:

I have a friend who got it on with a girl at a club. She left on his arm, in full view of all her friends. She doesn't want to be seen as a 'slut', so he has LET a girl tarnish his reputation, tell people FALSELY that he came on to her like a drunken sleazeball and she had to fend him off, just so SHE can save face for leaving a club on his arm, and not have her boyfriend know she was cheating. He gets nothing out of it. Why does he do it? Cause she’s manipulated his sense of ‘duty’, his sense of what is ‘right’.

And he knows it, I can tell. But he rationalises it away, to protect his self respect. 'I seduced her. I must be responsible'. He uses vanity to cloak his failure to act decisively and firmly. He is being 'chivalrous' I can see it, cause I've done it before. But hey, first time's an outcome.

I believe in doing things right and putting out positive energy into the world more than anyone, but it’s like ‘love’ – you gotta protect your virtue as you protect your heart, to give your best. Only do the 'right thing' when it's what you really believe is right, just as you only say 'I love you' when you really mean it, and not out of false obligation.

Nobody ever calls a Nice Guy a 'bastard' - because they don't even know the Nice Guy is there.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

thats a really good point, Salparadise. The fact that they would hold that guilt over the innocent guys head, just so they can save face. manipulation at its finest.

Heck, so long as she can have their fun and be seen as virtuous at the end of the day, who cares what happens to the guy? (beaten up or killed by a jealous bf cuz she convinced her bf that the other guy "seduced her", even though she had total control, etc)

 

[rsxtreme]

i liked the part where you mentioned about money!

 

[temujin108]

thanks! this is excellent read.