WTH happened?

[hudpes]

I met this girl on a salsa dance floor about six weeks ago and we've been dancing almost weekly, we matched nicely but I didn't think much of it. Last week there was a large dance festival and she asked me to come too. So I saw her there and a few dances later got her phone number and we arranged to meet at the beach with some friends. Eventually, we went swimming and I realized it was just us, she has shown a surprising amount of interest, looking back I probably could have kissed here right there.. in the evening we met again in town, and went to this small place that has a dancing floor, and everything again exuded high interest, we mostly danced the sensual dances and it was amazing. Then the place closed up for the night and her annoying best friend insisted going to sleep (and my crush was her ride and roomie), and I suggested she'd give her a lift then come back to meet me (no friends) but that didn't happen. So I said good night and kissed her, intended for just a kiss on the lips and she tilted her head and kissed me back.

Next day, she was a different person, friendly and all, but I could sense she pulled a handbrake, acted like she's avoiding me, then when it was time to go home, I tried kissing her goodbye and she turned her face and she said things are moving too fast for her and we should go for a drink to really get to know eachother once we get back to our home town.

So on tuesday we set up a date for friday and five hours before the date she cancelled because "she's got some unexpeced work to be done and we would meet some other day" . I made the mistake of replying with - We will, if you tell me when. She then suggested tuesday at 9 at a dancing place where we go pretty much every tuesday at that time, unless it's raining and it's off and btw. it seems like it will be raining this tuesday. I thought this text was a) insulting and b) very clear on what she wants or rather, doesn't.. so I didn't bother to reply.

Now, I'm at a loss of words to explain to myself what the hell just happened. In retrospect, I cant find any mistakes from my part during that weekend, I've basically acted like a man should, shown no weaknesses, I was direct, haven't been clingy or anything like that. Why would she suddenly have a change of heart overnight??? I'm pretty convinced there's no way out of this one. So what do I do, how do I act around her when I see her (which eventually I will), say hi, ask her for a dance, ignore her, don't mention the cancelled date, don't suggest a new one, or...?? I really liked her and I'm pretty pissed of about the whole situation.

 

[GreyKnight]

She's young and playing games. Do not pursue, but withdraw a little, act cool, let her see you with other women, let her do the running...otherwise you're in for months of hot/cold treatment that will damage you more. Just because she seems interested, it doesn't mean she's right for you. Treat with positive indifference - it'll drive her mad and she'll chase you, but she doesn't sound like relationship material, so proceed with caution.

 

[Skyline]

Once she said "things are going too fast" you should have went ghost. Once you started to pursue even after she said, and acted, with sudden disinterest she then realized she may have actually made a mistake. You need to let women come and warm up to you first. Forcing yourself onto her isn't going to make her magically like you. In fact it'll have the opposite effect. The power of attraction is manipulating your target into thinking that she's deciding on her own. By not giving her space and letting her "decide" you failed the patience portion, this is weakness.

Next time a girl says that, respond with : "you're right let's slow down, I know you really want to rip my shirt off so let's start over and go a little slower," then smile/smirk. Then after passing that sh*t test go ghost. Doesn't even matter what her response to that is, wait till she contacts you. That's all you had to do, could have even just stayed silent and went ghost.

She was attracted to you and possibly still is, so just go ghost! Wait till she contacts you! If its been 2 weeks and no word from her, THEN hit her up! Women are more attracted to men whose feelings towards them are unclear. Oh and act normal around her, how you do with everyone else.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'm big on flipping the script.

I might have said, "Thank God... I was thinking the same thing and wanted to talk to you about that."
Sometimes that turns them on their ear and they start pursuing YOU. Sometimes not, however. Either way what you get is RESOLUTION. The worst thing we guys do to ourselves is to keep things up in the air and we obsess about them hour-by-hour.

No matter what your response, it's a crap shoot because women are fickle and change like the weather. We men need to learn (myself included) not to take these things personally because at the end of the day we must resonate with the girl for her to maintain interest.

It's not YOU, my man, it's simple chemistry. Play the numbers and you'll find one you resonate with. Easier said than done, yes, but necessary.

 

[hudpes]

Update: there has been no contact until today. In the meantime a friend of mine, (who is friends with this girl's best friend's sister) told me that they (this girl and her friend) are crazy about exotic guys. Apparently they know someone who married a Cuban and has the cutest baby ever, and guess what, those two girls are going to Cuba in November for two months, already bought plane tickets and everything, officially to learn to dance Cuban salsa, unofficially, to f*ck Cubans, marry one and get pregnant. God almighty...

Today I saw her at a salsa dance floor, hanging with Hispanic or black guys. In a way it was amusing that she was so evidently putting a lot of effort not to acknowledge my existance, so after an hour or so, I grinned as I asked her for a dance, which she couldn't ignore or say no, but the dance was so abysmal I was seriously considering stopping half way and leaving.

Luckily, there are plenty of cute, and hopefully less crazy girls around. So... yeah.

 

[the_stig]

No matter what your response, it's a crap shoot because women are fickle and change like the weather. We men need to learn (myself included) not to take these things personally because at the end of the day we must resonate with the girl for her to maintain interest.

This is why dating has become too much work. It's like walking a tight rope, one tiny push in either direction and you fall off. Send one message that isn't quite right and you never hear from them again. We put in all this effort and they still bounce from guy to guy like a pinball. What's the point anymore?