WTF just happened?

[WinstonPatagonia]

Hey guys…..very strange one here. Definitely got my puzzled.


Kind of a long story; I travel quite a bit for work (about 80% of my job). About 8 months ago I met a group of people on one of my business trips and we all started to hang out together. One of the girls in the group and I became attracted to each other, but nothing ever materialized because we were both dating people at the time. A couple months ago that all changed when we both became single; we’d go out every night I was in town, she'd stay over at my hotel and were basically crazy about each other for a while. A couple of weeks ago she moved to NY (this was planned for a while) which really didn’t matter to me since my job at her old city was winding down anyways and I wouldn’t have any reason to travel there after that except to see her. I never gave any indication to her that I was looking for anything exclusive or start some sort of LDR even though I feel very strongly about this one.

Last week when I was at home she called me up and wanted to know if I could come to NY to see her. I managed to work in a visit this weekend in between a couple of my business trips. I flew in on Friday night, and we had an absolutely AMAZING time (dinner, drinks, overnight, etc.) Then Saturday something completely changed and I have no idea what. We spent the morning walking around the city, doing some site-seeing but the longer the day went on, the colder she got. By the end of the night, I honestly felt more detached and distant from her than any person I had ever been around. She even turned away when I tried to kiss her after dinner. I know she wasn’t feel great as we had partied pretty hard the night before, but I haven’t felt this level of awkwardness before. Needless to say, spending the night at her place night was one of the most uncomfortable situations I’ve ever been in. The level of passive-aggressiveness I’m feeling from her is so unlike anything I’ve experienced from her before.

I haven’t really pushed too hard as to what’s wrong (she keeps saying she is sick) and I’ve reached the point where I’m so pissed at the situation that I can’t wait to get the F out of here. I honestly don’t know what to make of this. As it stands, after I fly back tonight I’ll never have any desire to see or talk to her again, but at the same time it’s tripping me out since 36 hours ago we were having the time of our lives. If it's something I said or did, I'd honestly like to know about this, but I'm not going to keep prodding her like some needy little b*tch when clearly she doesn't want to share what she is thinking with me. Anyone have any experience with something like this? What could I have possibly done to set her off like this, or should I just accept the fact that she might be completely nuts?

Thanks everyone.

-Winston

 

[dasein]

Sorry you have been through this. It's not worth ruminating out the causes, could be any number of things. Just write this one out of your life entirely, don't accept any forthcoming breadcrumbs, rationalizations, AWing or apologies, move on entirely. Brighter options await and you are free to spend valuable time otherwise. No need to spend another instant of your mental landscape on this one, just put it behind and forget it.

 

[Malcontent]

Sorry to say but it sounds like it's over now.

Did you f--k her? You don't really explicitly state whether or not you did, but, if you didn't, that may be part of the problem.

 

[WinstonPatagonia]

Did you f--k her? You don't really explicitly state whether or not you did, but, if you didn't, that may be part of the problem.

Yes from the start. Thanks for the input from both of you. I flew back home early and was going nuts on the plane about this but ultimately it doesn't matter. If she doesn't want to say what's bothering her or attempt to fix the problem then neither should I. Still very confused but I'll just drive myself nuts if I keep thinking about it.

Cheers!

-Winston

 

[bmp2cpm]

Not much to go on here, but the top 2 possibilities I see would be:

1) She said something at one point to feel you out about your commitment level and how strong your emotional connection was to her after sex. Sex is a big emotional thing for women, if you marginalized it in any way, it's bad news.

OR

2) She got some kind of text from the guy she really wants but can't have when she was with you, which killed the mood.

These are just best guesses of course.

And, you probably know this, but she's not sick.

 

[The Duke]

What all the previous posters mentioned is spot on.

I dated a girl a lot like this once. She went from hot to cold, into me one day, and not the next. She required HUGE amounts of game. She was all about me while she was working for my attention/affection, but once I gave her what she was after, her emotional roller coaster ran out of steam and it all came to a slow stop and she wanted little to do with me. It was like she regretted everything.

If there's not some other guy in her head, or she didn't feel like you wanted to commit, then she's just some damaged goods that you don't want anyways.