WTF is this?

[CRooK]

This girl tried to flake out on me last night - this is how the conversation went:

Called her and talk for 3 minutes and..

Me: btw, don't forget i'm taking you to my friend's party on saturday

XXX: oh yeah... can i take my friend with me?

Me: huh? why you don't trust me?

XXX: (laughed and said) no, i don't trust you

Me: I only have two invitation and i wanted to go with you, that''s why i asked you two weeks ago

XXX: Why don't you take jennifer (my ex) with you? (i know she jokingly said it but i didn't like it)

Me: If you don't wanna go, you need to tell me right now so i can take someone else

XXX: Ok...i'll go

Me: See you on saturday, bye

*Click*

Now, i feel like i'm forcing her to go to the party and she's just doing the favor for me. I think her and my ex are talking, even tho they're only school friends.

Should i go with her or not??

 

[Batman407]

take her man.... you passed her test

 

[georgie24]

DONT BE A FOOL!

 

[georgie24]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT AFC THIS ONE UP!

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by georgie24
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT AFC THIS ONE UP!

lol

 

[BGMan]

This was a test you passed. If you had caved and said she could bring her friend with you, she would have lost respect for you. However, you didn't do that.

Then there was your telling her that you had other options and that if she said she couldn't go, that was her own tough luck.

Good job!

BGMan

 

[[Rebel2]]

great job you passes one of her many tests.

 

[Quick]

You didn't force her, she could have said no. She had no problem making those other suggestions. In my opinion you handled it perfectly. This might reflect her interest level though. See if you can raise it. If she does other things that make it seem like she's not interested, and you don't feel like you're making progress, then you know what to do.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by CRooK
...Now, i feel like i'm forcing her to go to the party and she's just doing the favor for me. I think her and my ex are talking, even tho they're only school friends.

Should i go with her or not??

Like they said above, you passed that test beautifully and naturally. It displayed your confidence, being at ease, in command of the situation (the deal remains the deal here, let me know if you can't make it and I'll arrange it with someone else---just so simple and beautiful)

You called her bluff w/o blinking and she backed off without hesitating. This is "end of story" time with a fade out of you going to a party with your HB.

Interesting that you jump to those thoughts of her being forced to go or doing you a favor. There is no "forcing" here and she is doing no "favor" for you. None at all.

Imagine if she had said "well, I know that I made plans with you first, but I have to go with Cindy instead..." Would your mind be more at ease if it had gone this way? Doubt it. You'd be pyssed.

I think you're doing a little bit of over-analyzing and negative-thinking here. Tell me if this subtle form of negative-thinking degeneration isn't close:
----you think "now she can't go with her friend" which leads to the next thought:
----"and it's your fault," which leads to the next thought:
----"she was subtly arm-twisted into it," which leads to the next thought:
----"she doesn't need/want to really go with me, she'd rather be w/her girlfriend and is denying herself to do this lame-@ss favor for me..." which leads to the conclusion:
----"I'm a loser" or "I am or I mean less than her friend..." and so you feel like shyt---it happens so fast you almost have to stop time to break it down.

Anyway---you left with a teaser at the end that I can't decypher (and I may not have decypher'd the stuff above correctly either)

"I think her and my ex are talking, even tho they're only school friends."

What does this imply? I'm getting that you have a certain defensiveness around what your ex might or might not say about you. If so, deal with it, get an explanation for anything that might come up in the future and deal with it like you handled her test on the phone (business like and at ease...)

Like "we were both young and not quite ready for something intense" or "we were both needing to move on and meet new people--she's a great person, though, I hope we're friends for a long time..." etc.