RockGuitarist
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2002
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Damn, I've been gone a long time. Didn't even know Tony was still around. Anyway, here's an excellent contribution to the forum I'm sure you'll all enjoy.
Lately, I've been doing a bit of reading (I can't get enough of it) and I came across a great self-help book that has nothing to do with seducing women, but is an excellent boost to the self-esteem and the powerful flaming red essence that is crucial to anyone who wishes to come close to becoming a real DJ. That essence is of course confidence, and in order to achieve this powerful state of mind, one must first have faith in oneself. If one does not believe in his own skills and his own women-seducing powers, how can one expect anyone else to do the same? Everyone has the capacity to become good at something. Everyone has the ability to bring forth their overpoweringly confident aura; however, there is one thing that can weaken one's own ability to bring forth the mojo. There is one thing that can mean the difference between a sucessful future and a regretful past and that is...
You. Your own damn thoughts. That SOB inner critic that drives you mad with negativity and insecurity.
No one can ever really cause you to feel bad about yourself. The only person that can ever truly defeat you is yourself. It is your own thoughts that cause you to react to a situation the way you do. It is your own attitude towards a situation that causes you to feel a certain way. These thoughts can be hard to spot, they can be hard to control, and they may even become automatic; however, as soon as you learn to recognize, defeat, and disprove these negative thoughts, they will become weaker and less frequent, resulting in a huge burst of self-esteem and confidence. How can you defeat these negative thoughts?
Write them down, then list all the reasons as to why these thoughts are wrong.
Listen, I'm tired so I'm just going to give you a quick example, the name of the book, then I'm going to bed.
Say you think something to the extent of, "I didn't get that chick's phone number. I'm such a loser for backing out. I'll never become a DJ. Blah blah blah..." and so on and so forth. Write these negative thoughts down, then pick apart at them, finding all the things about these thoughts that are unrealistic. You'll feel much better when you're done.
So you backed out from getting the number. That doesn't make you a loser. Why? Because there is really no such thing as a loser. There are loser-like actions that you can commit, but that doesn't necessarily make you a loser because different people define losers differently. For example, a popular high school jock might see the kid with the glasses who messes around on his computer all day as a loser; however, that kid may someday grow up to discover some crazy computer **** that'll bring him a truckload of money while the popular high school jock may someday be bagging the computer guy's groceries. Who's the loser now? The idea of someone being a loser is an abstract idea that cannot be validated because different people define losers differently. Because you backed out from the number does not mean that you are a loser and that you will never become a DJ. Everyone makes mistakes. It is the way you use your mistakes, the way you learn from your mistakes, and the attitude you have towards your mistakes that will decide wether you become a DJ or not. Negative thoughts will become self-fulfilling prophecies. Learn to defeat them.
Anyway, the book is Feeling Good by David D. Burns, M.D. It's a pretty good book and hits on topics ranging from depression and anger to love and approval addictions (the "need" for love and approval).
Well, I'm spent. Enjoy the advice. I'm off to bed.
Later.
----------------
Bedford - Rock Guitarist extraordinaire
AIM - DJRockGT
E-Mail - DJBedford@rock.com
Lately, I've been doing a bit of reading (I can't get enough of it) and I came across a great self-help book that has nothing to do with seducing women, but is an excellent boost to the self-esteem and the powerful flaming red essence that is crucial to anyone who wishes to come close to becoming a real DJ. That essence is of course confidence, and in order to achieve this powerful state of mind, one must first have faith in oneself. If one does not believe in his own skills and his own women-seducing powers, how can one expect anyone else to do the same? Everyone has the capacity to become good at something. Everyone has the ability to bring forth their overpoweringly confident aura; however, there is one thing that can weaken one's own ability to bring forth the mojo. There is one thing that can mean the difference between a sucessful future and a regretful past and that is...
You. Your own damn thoughts. That SOB inner critic that drives you mad with negativity and insecurity.
No one can ever really cause you to feel bad about yourself. The only person that can ever truly defeat you is yourself. It is your own thoughts that cause you to react to a situation the way you do. It is your own attitude towards a situation that causes you to feel a certain way. These thoughts can be hard to spot, they can be hard to control, and they may even become automatic; however, as soon as you learn to recognize, defeat, and disprove these negative thoughts, they will become weaker and less frequent, resulting in a huge burst of self-esteem and confidence. How can you defeat these negative thoughts?
Write them down, then list all the reasons as to why these thoughts are wrong.
Listen, I'm tired so I'm just going to give you a quick example, the name of the book, then I'm going to bed.
Say you think something to the extent of, "I didn't get that chick's phone number. I'm such a loser for backing out. I'll never become a DJ. Blah blah blah..." and so on and so forth. Write these negative thoughts down, then pick apart at them, finding all the things about these thoughts that are unrealistic. You'll feel much better when you're done.
So you backed out from getting the number. That doesn't make you a loser. Why? Because there is really no such thing as a loser. There are loser-like actions that you can commit, but that doesn't necessarily make you a loser because different people define losers differently. For example, a popular high school jock might see the kid with the glasses who messes around on his computer all day as a loser; however, that kid may someday grow up to discover some crazy computer **** that'll bring him a truckload of money while the popular high school jock may someday be bagging the computer guy's groceries. Who's the loser now? The idea of someone being a loser is an abstract idea that cannot be validated because different people define losers differently. Because you backed out from the number does not mean that you are a loser and that you will never become a DJ. Everyone makes mistakes. It is the way you use your mistakes, the way you learn from your mistakes, and the attitude you have towards your mistakes that will decide wether you become a DJ or not. Negative thoughts will become self-fulfilling prophecies. Learn to defeat them.
Anyway, the book is Feeling Good by David D. Burns, M.D. It's a pretty good book and hits on topics ranging from depression and anger to love and approval addictions (the "need" for love and approval).
Well, I'm spent. Enjoy the advice. I'm off to bed.
Later.
----------------
Bedford - Rock Guitarist extraordinaire
AIM - DJRockGT
E-Mail - DJBedford@rock.com
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