Wow, noob to these great forums! Do you think I done the right thing?

[WashingtonTonic]

Hey guys (and a handful of girls)! I just found SoSuave/Don Juan forums last week and I have been reading my ass off on the forums and the DJ Bible, great stuff to say the least, I wish I would have found this site when I was younger!

Heres my situation and I want some opinions from you guys to see if I done the right thing.

I started up a Yahoo Personals account a few weeks ago, for the hell of it, I figured I would try it. A few of my friends have had great success. Anyways, I sent out my messages to the potentials and checked my mailbox every few days to see what I had. I had one decent girl contact me back saying she wanted to talk. So I gave her my number and my Yahoo screen name.

A few days later I logged in and received a message from her. We talked the usual talk for about 2 hours, she gave me her number and we both logged off. I waited the 4 days to call (from the suggestions on this website). When I called I made it short and just scheduled a time for a date.

Anyways, the day of the date she calls and says she needs to postpone it for thursday of that week. It caught me off guard, so I just said ok whatever. Well anyways, the day rolls around for the date, and she doesnt call or anything. So I text her later that night to see what the deal was. She said she forgot because she had several things going on at work that night. I just texted back and said " just forget about everything, obviously you got too much stuff going on to remember small scheduled events", and left it at.

Basically judging by other posts on this forum I would consider this the "Ganji (sp) Method". Do you think this was the right thing or not? My reasoning behind everything was..

A. If she was really interested she would have not "forgot" about the scheduled date (Rescheduling is understandable, things come up)

B. If she is evenly remotely interested she will feel upset and want to make it up to me.

But then again when I think about it, I have never met the girl- mainly because she is making it difficult.

Comments or suggestions? Let me know!

P.S. To the makers of the website, this place is great! So much information I wish I had when I was in college a few years back!

 

[theunflushables]

I don't think that was the smartest idea. She might have bugged out, it happens, especially when meeting over the internet. I'd call back apologize, set one more date if you can. Be sure to tell her though, that if she no shows on this one, you can't talk to her ever again.

 

[ConantheLibertarian]

2 no shows? NEXT. She has your contact info, let her call you if she wants to get together. In the meantime, find someone who won't flake. The internet can be dicey, but if you think you can get something out of it, keep at it.

 

[WashingtonTonic]

I agree with both responses somewhat, thats why I thought it was a difficult situation. I am sure it is tough for her to go out on a date with someone she hasnt met (she wouldnt be the first though), but then again I understand also that she does have my contact info so she can get ahold of me.

I am not waiting around for her, the ball is in her court. I will just keep on doing what I do ;0) Thanks guys!

 

[The Forms]

my personal take:

first off, you talked to her for 2 hours like that is normal? Stop that. 15 minutes max until you get a girl hooked. Being able to talk for 2 hours at the drop of a hat shows her that you don't have enough going on in your life.

Even if all you are doing is watching tv the day you talked to her, act like you have things to do. Nothing too fancy, just a "hey, I hate to cut this short, but I need to get out the door in a minute." and then you set up a date with her. She doesn't need to know you're doing nothing. But when you talk to her for two hours you are showing her that you don't have much going on. Along that same line, don't pick up on a friday or saturday night if she calls and you're doing nothing.

The whole "wait 4 days to call" thing is silly. Don't call her the moment you get her number, but don't wait 4 days either. if she's been anticipating your call that whole time she's now pissed you couldn't be bothered to call her yet, and if she hasn't been waiting with baited breath for a call, then you're not as fresh in her mind anymore so she's less likely to let you take her out. I usually call not the day after I get a number, but the day after that.

OK. The first cancellation wasn't so bad. She gave you a little counteroffer, which shows she is interested still. But when she completely flaked and didn't even seem to feel bad, that's when I'd next her.

Has she really dont enough to impress you to the point where you're willing to work this hard? Probably not.

Internet game is cool for a guy really trying to start this whole thing out. Guys who've been on these board for years and rely heavily on the net just don't have game yet (no offense). But it's good when you're new to it. On the net you don't have to be as quick with your responses and can (quickly) think of a couple of different things to say. Also, you can meet these girls and try out new things. Get a feel for your personal approach to djing without worrying about your failed attempts getting back to all the people you know (as happens when you date girls already in your social group)

 

[ConantheLibertarian]

^Good points, I glossed over the 2 hour convo thing, definitely a no-no. A lot can happen in 2 hours, mainly her losing interest for myriad reasons. 15 minutes, hit a high note, make a date, done. You hit the nail on the head with the waiting to call thing. And you pointed out why it was made a "rule." Because you have guys who think calling an hour after they get the number multiple times is OK.

 

[WashingtonTonic]

Good points from the Forms. That time we talked for two hours was just over Yahoo Messenger the first time we talked. It really didnt seem like that long because I was doing other stuff at the time so it was kinda off and on.

Oh well, shes nexted. The girl can not be interested if she "forgets" a date she rescheduled. Her loss.