Wow...My girl says I am not showing her enough effection..

[Ronin]

Hey guys,

LAtely some stuff happened bwith me and my girl which resulted in her dad calling me and telling me that I can't talk to or see his daughter.

Anyways, I've been seeing her a bit lately, and she has been talking to her friends abou tme and they have been pointing out that I don't show her that i care about her enough. She thought about it and came to the conclusion that yes, I am not showing enough effection.

She says that she sees her friend's b/f's bring them in roses to school and stuff. And she says that I have never done anything like that...
Now I care abou this girl a great deal. We've been exclusive for a while now and all of a sudden it is a rocky time and she was hurt because i didnt want to sneak out with her. And because I havent come to her schol yet. STuff like that.

What do u guys think?

 

[Milliardo_Peacecraft]

You see,most of her girlfriends`sboyfriends are AFC and needy so they give them lots of gifts to buy their love.

You on the other hand,dont feel like doing it(good idea btw).

So,she sees her friends getting gifts from their boyfriends and she wants some too.TO fix this,tell her:

"Well,how do you define our love,are you really telling me that you need gifts to feel good enough to return my love to you?"

Just try to have her feel bad about it and she will ask her to forgive her.

Time to train her to give head ahahaha

 

[Shiftkey]

She sounds a little immature. How old are both of you? How long have you been dating and been exclusive? Have you fvcked? A little more info would help us give better advice.

 

[Ronin]

I'm 18, she's 17. weve been together for like 8ish months. We've ****ed, we did after two months. She was a virgin.
I have had all of the power (Like real DJ) up until now. As I said some stuff happened that resulted in me being banned from seeing her. So she wants to go sneaking around but she is going to be kicked out of her house if her dad catches us together.
I told her that it probably is a good idea to lay low for now and she said that me saying that hurts her and that she has been making all of the sacrafices in this relationship. She is now starting to remember past incidences where I have been Mr. DJ and haven't ben an afc chump.

She talked to some of her friends who told her that it doesnt sound like im a good b/f and all of this stuff and so I went from one week being the best b/f in the world accordiong to her, to being a lazy, terrible b/f.
I'm not a terrible b/f at all by the way. i made myself sound like an insensitive pricke but I really am not. I just did the odd stupid thing (like when I chose to go out with my guy friends on valentines day instead of spending time with my girl).

Sh*t's messed up right now fellas so I need some quality advice.

What do you think?

 

[Turalyon999]

She's a girl, which means what other people, especially her friends, is the most important thing in the world to her.

the Truth is, her friends are just jealous because your such a great guy and they're stuck with everyday, boring afc guys.

I would confront her about why all of a sudden she thinks you're the scummiest boyfriends around. If she says anything remotely close to "My friends b/fs don't do...or my friends said" Make it clear that a.Why does she care so much what others think, and b.it's not your fault that her friends b/fs are wusses.

 

[Kwah]

Dude, as a fellow man I must say this. LIE to her. Make her feel good about herself even if half of the **** you say is utter lies. Right now you just tneed to get her to stop judging you by other peoples standards and follow her own. Hence you need to brainwash her into thinking that she is

Also, tell her that she needs to judge you by the way you treat her, not the way her friends say you do. if you are looking out for her to not getting her kicked out then tell her that, make it seem like you care about that.

Also, it might not hurt to try and mend fences with her pops. Getting in good with her dad can only help this.

 

[Ronin]

Originally posted by Turalyon999
She's a girl, which means what other people, especially her friends, is the most important thing in the world to her.

the Truth is, her friends are just jealous because your such a great guy and they're stuck with everyday, boring afc guys.

I would confront her about why all of a sudden she thinks you're the scummiest boyfriends around. If she says anything remotely close to "My friends b/fs don't do...or my friends said" Make it clear that a.Why does she care so much what others think, and b.it's not your fault that her friends b/fs are wusses.

She hasn't changed her opinion of me all of a sudden. She says that she has been hurt little by little in the past and that all of theses things have built up until now where she is huirt because she puts energy into divising this wonderful plan for her to sneak out and i said that I wasen't for it. She is just starting to realize taht I didn't do much for her and she had been making all of the effore. I told her I care about her and that's why I don't want to go sneaking around. (Because I don't want her getting kicked out). But all she said is that that is not what she needs right now. She wants me to actually show her that I care by risking something or you know, going out of the ordinary (which is when she gave the examples of her friends getting roses and stickey notes on their lockers and stuff....real AFC ****).

 

[Ronin]

Originally posted by Kwah
Dude, as a fellow man I must say this. LIE to her. Make her feel good about herself even if half of the **** you say is utter lies. Right now you just tneed to get her to stop judging you by other peoples standards and follow her own. Hence you need to brainwash her into thinking that she is

Also, tell her that she needs to judge you by the way you treat her, not the way her friends say you do. if you are looking out for her to not getting her kicked out then tell her that, make it seem like you care about that.

Also, it might not hurt to try and mend fences with her pops. Getting in good with her dad can only help this.

I do tell her this stuff, it's just that in the past I have never gone out of my way for her. i have never broken plans with friends to be with her, i always put her after my oher comitments. Thats waht I though Dj's do. At first it drove her mad and mader her like me more, but once we got serious it started to bug her.

I will also try to mend things with her dad but it's un likely that will happen. This guy is a raging nazi (no ocffenceto any german or jewish people here). He is 6 foor 8, 260 pounds and he says I'm a little weasel. Which I don't understnad at all. I work with kids at the rec center and have B+ average in Commerse in UNi.
The other day she was crying so her dad asked her whats wrong. SHe said that she misses me and that she cant go on without me, so he says "I have somehing for you honey". He bought her a horse. So basically, this guy would rather spend thouseands of dollars on a horse than let me see his daughter.

Keep it comin fellas...

 

[Batman407]

she's spoiled dude....

you're not giving her what she wants...

I assure you that if you keep this up, she'll stay on your leash...

her girlfriends swoon about their boyfriends because, they too, are spoiled and those guys are wusses....

if you want to be nice to her... do it unpredictably and on your terms...

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Ah, the fathers.... they sure love us DJ's don't they? Well Ronin, I'm going to give you a suggestion to fix that problem that you have with her Dad, so your girl don't have to sneak out to see you anymore. Personally, I would have crept out with her, just because to her, it's naughty to be bad. I'm a bit surprised you didn't join her. *shrugs*

Anyway, this is what I'd do, considering my experience with Dads, and Moms, and Grandmas, etc. Trust me, with a name like mine, you have to be clever. This may sound crazy but it says you got balls.

Ok, I'm going by what you posted, which didn't explain why her Dad doesn't want you to see her... so if you f*cked their dog, and Dad caught you, do not try this...


To get on her Dad's good side, is simple, go pick up a copy of SI. and some flowers for her Mom. Drop by her house, knock on door, face the man if he answers, hand over the SI, give the flowers to her Mom, and say, 'Mr. Joe Schmoe, I like your daughter, I'm really good friends with her, and I want to see her, but because I'm a gentleman, I would like your permission to do so, this way you'll know, and we don't have to sneak around just to talk to each other. I got nothing but respect for her."

Anyway, you can play with the words to better suit you but, I've done this in the past and have one over many. I come off a little rough around the edges, a little on the gangsta side but, after this, they see a side that is truly me, a man that's for real. You get the mother or grandma on your side, forget about ever going wrong there.

I've also said 'f*ck it.' and just crept around, because... it was naughty, and she liked doing naughty things with bad boys.

..both work.... just depends on how you feel about her.

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by Ronin
SHe said that she misses me and that she cant go on without me, ...

LOL! You have her interest level right where you want it! What you have been doing is spot on! And besides, friction with the parents cements in her mind that you are NOT a Nice Guy. This is not to say you WANT her parents to think you're a walking piece of trash, but if they perceive you as being a little rough around the edges, it can't hurt.

Just show her affection from time to time, and treat her respectfully, and you should be fine. InLawsHateMe's plan sounds good; my problem with it is that I'm awfully bad at being a brown-noser.

BGMan

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Originally posted by BGMan
LOL! You have her interest level right where you want it! What you have been doing is spot on! And besides, friction with the parents cements in her mind that you are NOT a Nice Guy. This is not to say you WANT her parents to think you're a walking piece of trash, but if they perceive you as being a little rough around the edges, it can't hurt.

Just show her affection from time to time, and treat her respectfully, and you should be fine. InLawsHateMe's plan sounds good; my problem with it is that I'm awfully bad at being a brown-noser.

BGMan

Well my brotha, like I said, if you're for real, like me, then you ain't brown nosing no one. Imean, you told the man POINT BLANK, 'I could sneak around your back and see your daughter, but I'm for real, so I want you to know, if you don't give me the ok, *shrugs* I'm still going to do it.' ... as my message also stated below, 'I've also said 'f*ck it.' and just crept around, because... it was naughty, and she liked doing naughty things with bad boys. '

 

[Shiftkey]

I'm 18, she's 17. weve been together for like 8ish months. We've ****ed, we did after two months. She was a virgin.
I have had all of the power (Like real DJ) up until now.

You can probably ease up on the "DJ rules" a bit (though don't eliminate them). You should realize that the vast majority of the techniques and philosophies taught on these boards are for getting a girl, not keeping one. Given that you took her virginity, you've been together for awhile, and the situation with her dad, I would say that doing something that might seem a little AFC to you but romantic to her could improve things. However DO NOT make it seem like you're rewarding her for whining - try and be spontaneous like it's second nature to you.

Then again you could be doing everything right and she's just being an immature 17 year old girl like she's supposed to be But I don't think a small, personal gesture would hurt in this situation. You won't come across as a chump or too nice as long as her dad hates you and you keep fvcking her good.

 

[Kwah]

Yeah dude, the DJ rules are different once your serious with a girl. Its not AFC to do nice **** for her after you have her. you just have to pace it so you dont get to clingy.

Treat her good but dont take no crap and whatnot.

Seriously, stand up to her father. Tell him you want to deal with this like men and dont let him yell you down, stay cool. Prove your not some ******* looking for a ****puppet in his daughter. maybe that is what you are looking for, but you have to make damn sure her dad doesnt get that image.

First things first here dude is dealing with her father. Imagine how much she will want you if you can get him to change his mind about you. That means standing up to him and talking out your issues. Dont try to buy him off really, but a goodwill gesture never hurts. Hell even ask him to go golfing with you sometime or something so you can talk to him about you and his daughter. Prove your mature and he will have a hard time keeping up his dislike of you.

 

[Cremasta]

Nothing wrong with the occasional romantic/AFC gesture when you are in a relationship, just don't make it regular. Women lap that sh!t up, especially young, immature ones ( I bet she still passes notes to her friends in class).

Oh yeah, don't forget Valentines day again, chicks remember that stuff forever. Particularly cos you are the first one to do her. It should be St. AFC day I know, but that's a hard one to get past.

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

A girl I dated for a month, the dad talked to me once, and threatened to kill me.

It had freaked me out at first, though I hadn't done anything wrong. I hadn't done anything to hurt her, I had just started dating her.

For 1 day, I was a little freaked that some psycho dad was going to ginsue me.

My answer: The dad was nuts.


If you pissed off the dad, and you realize it, and you feel bad about it, you feel guilty and you know that what you did was wrong...apologize.

Other than that, date the girl, but stay away from the dad.

Tread lightly around her though. Don't be an AFC, or be scared of every little thing, but be a little bit careful. If her dad is nuts, it's best to be careful. Not scared, but careful.

If her dad has every reason to be pissed at you, make sure you try not to make it worse.

And be honest with the girl. Let her know what her dad said, and let her know that THAT'S why you're being so cautious.

 

[Unbridled_1]

are Ronin and Ronin I different people? Couldn't one of you had been a little more creative in the selection of a username?

 

[gr8one]

Do what you need to with her,...then lose her. FAST

---Willem Dafoe, Spider-Man