Man, last night I was at a club that's traditionally known as the youngest spot in the city, filled with girls in the 18-20 range. I'm 23, and it's easy pickins'.
So I'm doing my thing, flirting, getting numbers, acting like I own the place, which I pretty much did.
Have you ever done the "Here, have this" routine? You finish your drink, and you go up to a girl and introduce yourself like you're going to shake her hand - but instead, you give her the empty drink. Breaks their frame, and is generally a good laugh.
So I'm walking, and I finish my beer. There were no hot girls around, but I hate to pass an opportunity to improve this gag. So there's this frumpy, acne-scarred broad 'A' and her obligatory trollish sidekick 'B', both obviously having taken the bus from the cheap part of town. I give the beer to 'A' and walk off to the nearest bar.
SHOCK AND GASPS RANG OUT behind me. I feel a empty bottle hit my back. I laugh and shrug it off, as I kind of saw it coming anyways. I mozy up to the bar to get another drink, and 'B' comes up and BLAH BLAH BLAHS in a cranky voice. WHY DID YOU DO THAT, THAT'S RUDE, YOU'RE A LOSER, WAAAH!! I give her some witty retort, and get a nice slap in the face. Ouch. My gut reaction as a man is respond to physical attacks from either gender is a punch to the face, but I showed the self-restraint that humorless ogres couldn't.
Man, I learned my lesson. Never even bother with ugly chicks. They're worthless. If you have good looks or game, you will WAY oversell yourself to these sour-faced hooches. They don't have any concept of "flirtation" unless the guy is on pulling AFC crap, and have eggshell-thin egos coupled with a love of making a spectacle (in hopes of generating the attention they are denied, and therefore so pathetically crave). Screw 'em.
So I'm doing my thing, flirting, getting numbers, acting like I own the place, which I pretty much did.
Have you ever done the "Here, have this" routine? You finish your drink, and you go up to a girl and introduce yourself like you're going to shake her hand - but instead, you give her the empty drink. Breaks their frame, and is generally a good laugh.
So I'm walking, and I finish my beer. There were no hot girls around, but I hate to pass an opportunity to improve this gag. So there's this frumpy, acne-scarred broad 'A' and her obligatory trollish sidekick 'B', both obviously having taken the bus from the cheap part of town. I give the beer to 'A' and walk off to the nearest bar.
SHOCK AND GASPS RANG OUT behind me. I feel a empty bottle hit my back. I laugh and shrug it off, as I kind of saw it coming anyways. I mozy up to the bar to get another drink, and 'B' comes up and BLAH BLAH BLAHS in a cranky voice. WHY DID YOU DO THAT, THAT'S RUDE, YOU'RE A LOSER, WAAAH!! I give her some witty retort, and get a nice slap in the face. Ouch. My gut reaction as a man is respond to physical attacks from either gender is a punch to the face, but I showed the self-restraint that humorless ogres couldn't.
Man, I learned my lesson. Never even bother with ugly chicks. They're worthless. If you have good looks or game, you will WAY oversell yourself to these sour-faced hooches. They don't have any concept of "flirtation" unless the guy is on pulling AFC crap, and have eggshell-thin egos coupled with a love of making a spectacle (in hopes of generating the attention they are denied, and therefore so pathetically crave). Screw 'em.
