Would you fukk an engaged ex?

[STR8UP]

So, would you have sex with a girl you dated who is now engaged to be married? Before you answer though, here's a twist.....

I know that a lot of you have the bro's before ho's mentality when it comes to respecting another man's relationship, but what if YOU were the one who was originally cheated on?

Last night I went out with a group of friends. One of them was the chick I dated last year who (while she was seeing me) started seeing a guy from her hometown.

Our relationship was casual, no talk of exclusivity or anything, but we did spend a fair amount of time together and I was told through a mutual friend that this girl basically thought of us as a couple.

When the sex started to taper off I knew something was up, but I just stepped back and played it cool, didn't confront her or anything. Finally a couple of months later she sends me an email telling me telling me what had happened.

To make a long story short, I technically wasn't "cheated" on, and who knows what this other guy knew or didn't know, but judging by what SHE thought of our relationship, there is a good chance that he knew she was seeing me.

Anyway, last night this chick was back in town and we all went out to a club. Halfway through the night we were on the dance floor and she turns to her best friend and says "You know, STR8UP is AMAZING in bed. That's why I have to stay away from him!" And this was in a very LOUD club. She made sure I also heard her say it.

I pretty much figured that if I wanted to hit it again it wouldn't be much of a problem. To be honest though, I could take it or leave it, and although I'm no moral crusader or anything, I know she is engaged and it's probably best if I don't get involved with her again.

We were at my business partner's condo afterwards at like 4am, and I only live a few blocks away so I could have asked her to come back to my place, but i walked her friend over there, stayed for a few minutes, then said goodbye and left.

Like I said, I can take it or leave it and the fact that she is in a relationship gives me pause when I even think about trying to hook up with her again, but I couldn't help but wonder how some of you who are very much against "dipping your pen in another mans ink" would handle this.

I took her comment as a green light that she still wants to get busy. Chances are I could have a fukk buddy who only visits every few months, if that's what i wanted. Probably won't pursue it, but to be honest I doubt if I would turn her down of she initiated.

If the other guy in this scenario "took her" from you, would it change your way of thinking about something like this? What if you had a committed relationship?

 

[joekerr31]

would it bother you if some guy stuck his kawk in your fiancee every few months?

 

[KontrollerX]

If another guy took a chick from me I would say yes as what goes around comes around.

If that was not the case then no but I would inform the new boyfriend of her treacherous advances.

 

[STR8UP]

would it bother you if some guy stuck his kawk in your fiancee every few months?

Of course it would, but that wasn't the question.

 

[STR8UP]

1) I would never consider her for a relationship, she can't be trusted.

Already established that she isn't relationship material back when I was seeing her.

2) If a girl is going to cheat, she will cheat whether it's you or someone else. You aren't the one to ruin the relationship in this situation. That responsibility lies solely with her.

I agree. There are plenty of arguments for not getting involved with a chick that is in a relationship, but the idea that you are the one that is "ruining a relationship" isn't one of them.

3) If you're interested, then hit it, just be prepared to pay the price should it ever come due.

Interested? Lets put it this way. I have a feeling that she will eventually try to initiate something with me, and at that point I probably wouldn't turn it down, but I'm not interested in putting any effort into it.

And I doubt if there would be much of a price if it did go down. She lives 1000 miles away.

 

[STR8UP]

If another guy took a chick from me I would say yes as what goes around comes around.

But what if you were not committed to the chick? What if you don't know if he even knew about you?

 

[jophil28]

Her fiance needs to hear this statement about cheating women, " If they will do it WITH you, they will do it TO you.."

I wonder how many of us have "taken" a women from another guy only to have that same woman cheat on us eventually?
It is what they do .....

 

[Metro3pilot]

well well ....

I might tap her .... but if I were the one who let her go ( as in your case )

not sure I would want to ....

I don't know man, screwing a woman who's attatched, about to be attatched

whatever ...

kinda dangerous ground ...can you handle the price you may have to pay

kharma wise ?

 

[joekerr31]

Of course it would, but that wasn't the question.

its not the question but it is the scenario, just from a different perspective.

 

[blueguy]

No, she's an ex for a reason, right? I sense a famine in str8up land.

 

[grinder]

It depends greatly how she thinks about sex. If she thinks that sex = love then no it would be “immoral” to do so.

If she thinks that sex = fun then your violation is superficial.

Many women (and DJ’s too) equate sex with a special closeness and bond that is deeply meaningful.

 

[Latinoman]

So...she kind of betrayed you.

Why are you even talking to her?

 

[STR8UP]

So...she kind of betrayed you.

Why are you even talking to her?

If we shared any sort of commitment I wouldn't be talking to her. But I can't really hold anything against her. I was reaping the benefits of spending time with her but gave her no indication that I wanted more.

To be honest, I still hold a little resentment, but it's purely emotional. I can logically see that I had no claim on her.

 

[KontrollerX]

"But what if you were not committed to the chick? What if you don't know if he even knew about you?"

I would have to know by some form of evidence that the guy knew about me for me to take revenge and do this.

Even if I wasn't fully committed to the chick that I lost I would still take the opportunity should it arise.

Guys that are big enough losers that they can't get their own girlfriend out of all the single women out there so they go after someone else's girlfriend need to be taught a lesson wherever possible in my view.

And what better lesson to be taught then what she'll do to me she'll do to you?

 

[speed dawg]

Dude, you hang out with some scandalous folks. May want to redefine the nature of your association.

I'd fukk her. This chick's not marriage material, and you should let the other guy know. SHE'S the one that needs punishment, not the dude. Both of you would come out better. You'd get laid, and he'd have this crazy hor off his hands (even though he might not agree now, but will later). Of course, he's probably a total AFC, so he'll be heartbroken, but live with the fact that you did help him, whether he realizes this or not.

 

[WestCoaster]

That's a tough one. I turned down this opportunity once, a gal wanted to come "visit" me (funny, I lived 100 miles away) for a weekend. I knew her in college. I also knew she had a boyfriend and I'd recently been cheated on so I took the so-called high road. She later got married just a few months later. In retrospect I kind of regret not sleeping with her (she has a tremendous body); ethically I may have done the right thing, but this was on her. She initiated everything.

I can see where a guy would cave in and do so. I'd never initiate it, however. If the woman initiates it, the married-to-be has bigger problems than he can possibly imagine.

Then again, I knew a guy in college whose fiance had one last fling (that he didn't know about) before they got married. They're still happily married.

I know one thing: Women do what they're going to do, even if it's wrong. They'll always excuse it with some reason.

 

[squirrels]

If she'll let you, and you're not cool with the guy she plans to marry...but chances are she's just attention-wh0ring.

 

[STR8UP]

well well ....

I might tap her .... but if I were the one who let her go ( as in your case )

not sure I would want to ....

I didn't let her go, she started seeing this other dude and basically sent me an email telling me that she had started seeing this guy and was now in a relationship with him and if I wanted to talk about it to call her, blah, blah, so basically she let ME go.

So it isn't as if I dumped her because I didn't want anything to do with her anymore. And on her end I can tell that despite having grabbed onto another branch, she still has feelings for me. I'm guessing that a big part of the reason why she even got with this other dude is because her parents were pressuring her to get married and I think she's looking to have some babies eventually, and I'm not that guy.

I don't know man, screwing a woman who's attatched, about to be attatched

whatever ...

kinda dangerous ground ...can you handle the price you may have to pay

kharma wise ?

With all the crap that's happened to me I think I have a few karma points owed to me!

 

[STR8UP]

its not the question but it is the scenario, just from a different perspective.

Your question had an obvious answer for most people.

Personally, although i don't actively pursue women who are "taken" (and I use the term loosely), I don't have a moral issue with getting involved with someone who is already in a relationship since I know that most women are in SOME sort of relationship MOST of the time, it's just how they operate.

What i am really curious about is from a morality standpoint if guys who normally WOULDN'T do this out of respect for another man's relationship, would his feelings change if it were initially the other guy who "took" your girl in the first place.

 

[STR8UP]

Dude, you hang out with some scandalous folks. May want to redefine the nature of your association.

I know it might seem that way, and it could be my perspective that is skewed, but most of the people I hang with are pretty damn normal, believe it or not.

I'd fukk her. This chick's not marriage material, and you should let the other guy know.

If I ever did do anything with her, it isn't my business. I wouldn't be contacting anyone.

Of course, he's probably a total AFC, so he'll be heartbroken, but live with the fact that you did help him, whether he realizes this or not.

I don't know the dude nor do I care to, but I would say there's a 99% chance that he's a terminal AFC. I checked out his Myspace page after she told me and he has pics of him and her plastered all over, whereas she only has a few of them on her page. She has a fairly strong personality, and judging by her behavior when she was around me it would take an AFC to propose to her, especially within a few months of hooking up.