Would You Consider This Disrespectful??

[soulforge]

Keeping this short and sweet..

Currently banging my ex (we was together 3 years on and off) we are strictly friends with benefits.. she isn't worthy a relationship as she is rather toxic... cluster b


Anyhow sometimes when she chats to me on whats app, she calls me 'friend' i think she calls me that intentionally, as she thinks it would bother me.. but it does not.

Anyhow she was off on a holiday last Friday, she asked me if she could come down and see me the day before she flies off.. we could have sex and see each other before she goes off for a week.

This is how the conversation went...

HER - hey is it ok i come down and see you for a bit on Thursday before i fly off to my holiday.. i know we are friends, but i will miss you


ME - You can do, but i have to be up really early friday morning.


HER - Thats ok, i will stop over for a bit then go home


ME - Ok mate thats fine, you can do


HER - Don't call me mate!! I'm gona leave it x


ME - Hey, mate or friend whats the difference.. it pretty much means the same thing.. you call me friend pretty much on a daily basis to me.. ok fair enough no problem x



Ok so here is the thing.. she still harbours feelings for me, and i think she found the word 'mate' a little too non loving.


I don't get it.. she calls me friend all the time.. i call her mate once, and she flips!!


So after that she started sending me loving messages, telling me she will miss me etc etc.. but i didn't get to see her before she left.. and i feel somewhat pisssed off, that she just cancled us meeting up, over a petty stupid thing


Now she is on holiday, and she has messaged me once or twice.. but i have been kinda busy, so i took my time to reply back to her.


Would you consider this disrespectful behaviour???

 

[Fitters]

Stop stressing over your EX !
By your post , if you continue to talk and he sex with this " damaged" girl ...you will only so your growth.

 

[soulforge]

Stop stressing over your EX !
By your post , if you continue to talk and he sex with this " damaged" girl ...you will only so your growth.

Huh....

 

[thatfeel]

You was together for 3 years? Or you were together?

 

[G_Govan]

Anyhow sometimes when she chats to me on whats app, she calls me 'friend' i think she calls me that intentionally, as she thinks it would bother me.. but it does not.

It most certainly did bother you, hence your reaction.

HER - Don't call me mate!! I'm gona leave it x

ME - Hey, mate or friend whats the difference.. it pretty much means the same thing.. you call me friend pretty much on a daily basis to me.. ok fair enough no problem x

Why not just laugh it off, what was the point of your emotional response?

She calls you "friend" because she's trying to pressure you for more, you don't want more, so ignore it or agree and amplify (not in a butthurt way though).

 

[pyros]

she is your EX you say.
you're just FWB now.
she gets upset cause you call her mate.
she tries to manipulate you and punish you so she doesnt go to have sex with you before she leaves.

so what? who cares? the problem is that you do care.

Think about this, it doesnt matter how much she says she misses you, or still loves you etc, I can guarantee you that while you're here posting and wondering about why she does what she does, she is having sex, or she has had sex, or she's about to have sex with new guys, but she likes to string you along and manipulate you to have her dosis of monthly drama.

The very moment she finds a guy she wants a LTR with, she will drop you in an eyeblink, trust me.

If you want to continue banging her I would stop worrying about these kind of things. You should see her as a piece of meat. If you think otherwise, it would be appropiate for you to stop seing her.

Think about it.

 

[soulforge]

It most certainly did bother you, hence your reaction.

Why not just laugh it off, what was the point of your emotional response?

She calls you "friend" because she's trying to pressure you for more, you don't want more, so ignore it or agree and amplify (not in a butthurt way though).

I only jokingly called her mate.. i wasn't butt hurt.. she can call me friend all day long, it does not bother me... as i know me and her could never be more than friends ever!!

I just found it annoying that she cancled meeting me.. i wanted to bang her lol


And now she expects me to see her, when she gets back...


I know she wants more than friends from me.. she has suggested that i can have another woman, and she will still stay with me.. wtf

 

[soulforge]

she is your EX you say.
you're just FWB now.
she gets upset cause you call her mate.
she tries to manipulate you and punish you so she doesnt go to have sex with you before she leaves.

so what? who cares? the problem is that you do care.

Think about this, it doesnt matter how much she says she misses you, or still loves you etc, I can guarantee you that while you're here posting and wondering about why she does what she does, she is having sex, or she has had sex, or she's about to have sex with new guys, but she likes to string you along and manipulate you to have her dosis of monthly drama.
The very moment she finds a guy she wants a LTR with, she will drop you in an eyeblink, trust me.

If you want to continue banging her I would stop worrying about these kind of things. You should see her as a piece of meat. If you think otherwise, it would be appropiate for you to stop seing her.

Think about it.

I agree with you... she is on holiday right now.. and she could be banging loads of guys...

Also my gut tells me... if she found another relationship, then more than likely she will drop my ass and move on!!!


She has told me she is in no rush to get into a relationship with anyone.. she claims she likes to see me, because i have a nice body and i fuxk her good.

She is even ok about me banging other woman...


I am thinking maybe i should just drop her now... or just completely see her as a piece of flesh and fux her... and nothing more..

She is trying to get in deeper with me.. claiming she wants to be with me... sending me kisses on whatsapp all the time..

This woman has a history of bieng toxic!!!!

 

[soulforge]

I think i need to see this chik purely as a fuk and nothing more..

I,m thinking fwb with a toxic ex, who i have lots of history with is probably a bad idea???

Any experiences of fwb with an ex??? How did it work out??

 

[pyros]

see this, toxic ppl get involved with other toxic ppl or weak ppl.

In any case, you should stop seing her. Maybe meet her once a month to bust a nut but no more.

She tells you all those lovey dovey words but as I said, I can assure you she's looking for other guys, if she doesnt already have one by now.

She's manipulating you. This is what unstable, toxic women do. Dont you see it? dump her for good.


P.S.

yes, experiences with ex gf downloaded to fwb...it ends when she (mainly) finds another guy she wants a LTR with. And it happens quicker than you think, but they dont tell you of course.

 

[G_Govan]

I only jokingly called her mate.. i wasn't butt hurt.. she can call me friend all day long, it does not bother me... as i know me and her could never be more than friends ever!!

You were butthurt over her canceling, that's why her calling you "friend" annoys you. You know it means she's creating "pressure" and at some point she may leave altogether which means no more easy sex from her.

Doesn't sound like you're spinning plates and you're messing with a chick who's of lower SMV than you. I wouldn't get too comfortable with this arrangement if I were you.

 

[soulforge]

see this, toxic ppl get involved with other toxic ppl or weak ppl.

In any case, you should stop seing her. Maybe meet her once a month to bust a nut but no more.

She tells you all those lovey dovey words but as I said, I can assure you she's looking for other guys, if she doesnt already have one by now.

She's manipulating you. This is what unstable, toxic women do. Dont you see it? dump her for good.


P.S.

yes, experiences with ex gf downloaded to fwb...it ends when she (mainly) finds another guy she wants a LTR with. And it happens quicker than you think, but they dont tell you of course.

I,m a little confused with her behaviour.. she is telling me, that she wants to be with me, but its ok for me to have other woman too..

On top of that she told me, that her ex who she has a kid with, is trying to fuk her..

Why the hell would i want to be with a girl in a relationship, where her ex is constantly trying to fuk her, and will always be around..


I need to cut down the contact with this crazy bish... you guys are right, at some point she will find another man, and i will be last weeks news..

Also she was a horrible person to be with, when i was actually in a relationship with her

 

[prison/con.net]

you are a weak punk if you don't just blow her off, immediately and completely

 

[soulforge]

you are a weak punk if you don't just blow her off, immediately and completely

I,m confused.. some claim i should not take her behavior seriously and just laugh it off.. others claim i should drop her ass for it..


I must admit.. i did feel somewhat disrespected.. she calles me friend all the time, and i dont give two shiits about it.. i call her mate and she cancles meeting me

What a bish..

 

[soulforge]

wherers the disrespect?

are you kidding me? i call girls things like buddy, loser, creep, savage etc all the time ofc they act like they hate it. this is playful teasing. why are you getting worked up over it? i dont understand

I,m not bothered about the name name calling.. its the fact that she cancled me.. cancled seeing me over something stupid..

She wanted to see me before her going on her holiday, but she cancled it, because i called her mate..

And then she is expecting me to meet her as soon as she gets back from her holiday..

 

[soulforge]

wherers the disrespect?

are you kidding me? i call girls things like buddy, loser, creep, savage etc all the time ofc they act like they hate it. this is playful teasing. why are you getting worked up over it? i dont understand

Are you ok with bishes just dropping your ass over something stupid, when you have arranged a date??

 

[soulforge]

i deserve it if im acting like a bltch about something stupid.

You obviously have not read my damn post... i did not make a big deal of it..

Try reading the damn thing again

 

[yungballa]

First things first: drop her. For good. Stop talking to her, block her everywhere, just drop her from your life and move the **** on with life. You can't keep travelling life backwards, don't try to even keep her as a **** buddy. She's poison, and you're gonna get poisoned if you keep ****ing with a girl like that.
Do yourself a favor, for yourself and only you, and drop her and just move on with life.

And who cares if she cancels with you? It shouldn't even bother you one bit. Like everyone else is saying: laugh it off. Go find the next girl to talk to or invest your time into something else (a hobby, etc), because you ain't helping yourself worrying about this girl.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

accept the fact that you have weak frame and weak game.

Sorry OP but I have to agree with this. If you have the ability to be blatantly honest with yourself, about this entire storm in a teacup, do this:

- Copy and past all your comments/posts on this, into paragraphs.
- Read them all.
- Now be honest with yourself about what you hear from those posts.

You DO have a weak frame in relation to this girl. It's easy to feel in a position of dominance with an ex/FB, but when they prod you or test you, your reaction is the measure of your frame.

In this case I feel you have taken the bait. You need to be brutal and honest with yourself and either disengage properly, or stay in a muddy back and forth emotional game of ping pong with her.

Pull the pin I say.

 

[marmel75]

You gotta be kidding me with this...why the fvck do you care about if your ex is not meeting up before going somewhere? Obviously you have no other options or this thread would have never started.