Would you call her out on disrespect in the stage of dating?

[summersky]

Hi everyone,

so im not sure how to act, let me give you an example: I met a girl two times and she seemed to be really interested. Kisses, lots of touching but no sex yet. Today i texted her and she asked me why she didnt hear from me. The last one, who got in touch was me, so wtf.. Anyway we were talking and she asked me about a girl I met and told her about on the second date. I told her that we are still in contact and exchanged pictures.. I kinda wanted to make her a little jeleous and even though it was true, maybe it was a big mistake to say that??? Maybe she is thinking im playing around and not serious about her!? So one minute after that she said she have to do something but will call back in 30 minutes. I told ok. One hour passed by - nothing! So i wrote her: If you say you will do something, do it. Cause I wont put up with behaviour like that. You dont need to call anymore.

So im asking myself, is that the right way to go. Should I call her out on things like that or act as if it doesnt bother me. Some people say, you have to be aloff, others say you have to demand respect.

What do you think?

I would be happy about any opinions!

Regards!

 

[Colossus]

Totally unnecessary. Just don't contact her again no need to make a big scene about it.

 

[Reykhel]

Hi everyone,

so im not sure how to act, let me give you an example: I met a girl two times and she seemed to be really interested. Kisses, lots of touching but no sex yet. Today i texted her and she asked me why she didnt hear from me. The last one, who got in touch was me, so wtf.. Anyway we were talking and she asked me about a girl I met and told her about on the second date. I told her that we are still in contact and exchanged pictures.. I kinda wanted to make her a little jeleous and even though it was true, maybe it was a big mistake to say that??? Maybe she is thinking im playing around and not serious about her!? So one minute after that she said she have to do something but will call back in 30 minutes. I told ok. One hour passed by - nothing! So i wrote her: If you say you will do something, do it. Cause I wont put up with behaviour like that. You dont need to call anymore.

So im asking myself, is that the right way to go. Should I call her out on things like that or act as if it doesnt bother me. Some people say, you have to be aloff, others say you have to demand respect.

What do you think?

I would be happy about any opinions!

Regards!

Let's see....

She text and asked why she didn't hear from you even though you were the one who text last: you took her message too literal. The translation of what she was saying: I'm interested in you and I'm putting myself in your orbit so that you as the man can set up an opportunity for a hook up.....Fail

She asked you about a girl you met and told her about on the second date: Why would you be bringing up talk of other girls on the second date??? Was that a jelousy plot? Fail............do you think that was adding to the fun? do you think that was raising her interest level? Fail.........

You want to give off the impression that you have other options....do it covertly...

So you were talking and she said she would call you back in 30 minutes and one hour passed and you text her to let her know it wasn't acceptable? : You've met this girl twice..........at best you could call it a minor red flag.....

However, that's the predicament you get into when you start all that texting ****e and talking about other prospects.........your game or lack of led to this. Use the phone for setting up your next hook-up............

 

[summersky]

Thank you for the quick responses. So I see two points for acting aloof. This girl also came late on the second date and I called her out on it in a calm manner and she said sorry, that wont happen again. So that was also wrong?

So that means I made a big mistake now. The thing is I wanted to set up a new date, but she had to leave the call.. I wanted to set it, after her calling me back. So now.. Did I totally pushed her away by that behaviour and what should I do? Call her in two weeks and try again?

 

[Yewki]

So now.. Did I totally pushed her away by that behaviour and what should I do? Call her in two weeks and try again?

Umm... yeah you totally sh*t the bed and overreacted, your only play now is to just wait and hope she's stupid/desperate enough to still be interested. That, or immediately apologize and explain you were out of line, had a bad day, etc. But realistically you should probably just move on and pretend this didn't happen. And, never do this again.

To call someone out for not returning a phone call within an hour, she probably thinks you're desperate and have literally nothing else going on in your life.

 

[parkthebus]

In the future, ignore her until she contacts you. If you're truly aloof, you won't care. If you think she's playing games, ignore the call and call her back later. But you've already made the decision. Speak to her tomorrow, say you're sorry for snapping at her you were really stressed out. Let's me make it up to you by taking you out for....

 

[evan12]

You should stay cool and not to call her , what you did is action of some one frustrated. next time just dont call. Also if you are serious with women give them a chance otherwise you will become like the women who never give a second chance for men they meet and they stay lonely in the end.

 

[summersky]

Hi thank you for the replies,

so yesterday we were talking on the phone in the evening, I told her that I am not angry and that I somewhat overreacted. She was again asking me about this girl I am talking to. I changed the topic but said if she is unsure about something I do she is allowed to ask me.. Then I set up a date for tomorrow and she agreed. Today in the morning she is sending me a text and ask me how I define our "relationship". I wrote back it depends on how we feel and what we want. Then she said she doesnt understand and I said then we can talk about something like that in person tomorrow. No answer so far.

Somehow I feel she is worrying about this other girl and wants closure. Maybe she want to be sure that I am serious before continue seeing me. I dont know. I hope I handled the question fine? The thing is, I want her and can also imagine having a relationship with her but I am holding back that information because I dont want to come off as needy... I also got the feeling that saying we can talk tomorrow in person gave her a bad feeling, there is a good chance she will flake i think. So what do I do? What if she flakes? Should I tell her my feelings?

Regards!

 

[Tictac]

After two dates?

Seriously?

 

[summersky]

Seriously.. I found it weird too. Maybe she is afraid loosing me to this other girl or something. Maybe she is used that men she likes, falling for her really fast and kiss her ass, cause she is hot. Who knows. Still dont know how to handle but guess she will flake anyway.

 

[Tictac]

Seriously.. I found it weird too. Maybe she is afraid loosing me to this other girl or something. Maybe she is used that men she likes, falling for her really fast and kiss her ass, cause she is hot. Who knows. Still dont know how to handle but guess she will flake anyway.

You're the one talking about "telling her your feelings". After two dates, that should be easy for both of you - what feelings? You don't even know each other.

 

[Sprayarc]

Totally unnecessary. Just don't contact her again no need to make a big scene about it.

This here. Keep it stupid simple.

 

[Sprayarc]

Thank you for the quick responses. So I see two points for acting aloof. This girl also came late on the second date and I called her out on it in a calm manner and she said sorry, that wont happen again. So that was also wrong?

So that means I made a big mistake now. The thing is I wanted to set up a new date, but she had to leave the call.. I wanted to set it, after her calling me back. So now.. Did I totally pushed her away by that behaviour and what should I do? Call her in two weeks and try again?

Not a big mistake. It's only one woman. But you seem to care to much and you're showing it. Now she sees it and trust me, you showed to much vulnerability to soon.

But you can always recover as long as you can not care so much. I'd suggest not seeing her for a while and work on other women so you have leverage and then when you feel confident you've other options you can revisit.

But of you work on other women and see that you do in fact have other options you simply won't care as much.

 

[parkthebus]

I wouldn't define your relationship. Just say you're enjoying spending time with her and you want the relationship to evolve naturally rather than putting a label on it.

 

[wakingup]

Don't think about a relationship until maybe 10 dates over the course of 4 months. Then, let them bring it up. You broke both these rules that most on this website will endorse. You are thinking about a relationship after 2 dates and you are thinking of being the initiator and telling her your feelings, horrible terrible idea. The reason you think this is because you don't have options and think that she must be made your girlfriend. You can say that there is another girl but why aren't you asking about advice about her? This current girl you've gone on two dates with and she's playing games with you, focus on the other girl.

 

[Kailex]

Buddy, you need to go read the DJ Bible.

And did we stop asking people to post their ages for the Mature Man forum? I'm cringing thinking about a "mature man" saying that he should tell her his "feelings" after two dates. What is this?

 

[Tictac]

And did we stop asking people to post their ages for the Mature Man forum? I'm cringing thinking about a "mature man" saying that he should tell her his "feelings" after two dates. What is this?

It would seem that Allen's new fancy schmancy website software should have a feature that won't allow non-age eligible and included posters from posting in MM.

Hmm.

 

[LiveFreeX]

I'll tell you something that worked pretty well for me. My wife one night while out with my friends said something to me... I can't remember quite what it was about but she stepped over the line and did so in front of my friend. I told her point blank that she needed to go back to our apartment right away. After we arrived I propped her up against a wall and although I wanted to put my fist through her face, I instead opted to wait until she was sleeping, I called her a few names and told her that if she were a man, she would have had her face slammed into the wall. I think she apologized, but to me, words are meaningless unless they are followed up by a gesture of good faith. I then got a large bucket of ice cold water and threw it on her. Twice. Once while she was sleeping and the second time after I threw her a towel.

So far, we haven't had any problems... Now I don't recommend doing this in America cause that might put you into jail.

I would say that its fine to call women out at ANY time during the relationship when you are dissatisfied and let them know that you can walk at the drop of a hat. If you punish them, you gotta follow it up with an explanation as to why. Most women will seriously respect you for calling them out if you are in the right. You hit a dog with a newspaper roll, it has to be at the moment the dog disrespects you or it will never understand what it did wrong.

 

[summersky]

Hi again, I understand everything you are saying.. Sometimes I just get blinded by some girls beauty and start not playing by the rules. Maybe some of you experienced that also.

So she flaked on me! I am still thinking that she brought up that question because she is worried about the other girl (it was a big mistake telling her about her). Am I totally wrong to assume that a woman will push you away if she got the feeling that she will be just one of the girls or that I am a player just looking for sex??

I also read on this board, that if a woman you dated a few times, asks about other women, you should tell her what she wants to hear..

Anyway what would you do in that situation, how to proceed with that girl?

Regards

 

[LiveFreeX]

Forget about her, go spend some money on a hobby.