Would you become more attentive of your wife if she cheated in a torrid love affair?

[MatureDJ]

http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him

(search for the comment by "Nikki Sunset")

Thanks for sharing. My husband did something similar for me.
After 38 years of arriage I was having a mid life crisis. When he discovered my torrid affair he didn't make a fuss. He changed and became more attentive to me and our marriage. He wooed me once again. Once things were better at home I stopped the affair. Our marriage flourished and became the joy of my life. Interestingly a year later my husband had a major heart attack. We are going through this together rather than his facing it alone. This is what 'for better or for worse' is about. Hanging in there for the tough times.

It sounds like to me like he should have traded her in for later model. An older woman's only value is in her devotion, which an affair shatters.

My opinion:

 

[AW1983]

It sounds like to me like he should have traded her in for later model. An older woman's only value is in her devotion, which an affair shatters.

Agreed 10x. If that were my wife she would've been gone so fast her head would still be spinning while she typed a very different comment than the one above...

 

[Burroughs]

if by 'become more attentive' you mean substitute p!ss for lemonade in her glass then yes

 

[Who Dares Win]

When one of the girls Im dating does something with some other guy, I become more attentive to her and put much more effort in faking the feelings.

In fact I bang her as hard as possible and try as well to have her emotionally bonded to me, right after I leave them cause I cannot take the heat anymore.

Not sure if its a ego protecting system or some animal instinct that males have awaken when in direct competition, the sure thing is that when a girl gives me heat I cannot
do anything else than dropping as a hot potato.
Theres no way in hell I could stay or invest in a girl that force me to sleep with an eye open.

 

[Kailex]

Today's curse will be tomorrow's blessing.

Don't forget the lessons learned from this relationship. Later on in life, you'll look back and realize that bullet you've dodged and be a happier man for it. I've always been a firm believer that it is okay to "hate" if it means that you are going to get over her. Eventually, those feelings are placed, until there is nothing more than just memories.

Time truly does heal all wounds, but, the caveat being, it takes time.

 

[sodbuster]

I'd be more attentive while I moved stuff I wanted to keep out of the house...deeds, wills, credit card bills to the office address, cancelling others, depleting the checking accound and finding a new place. Then My azz is GONE

 

[st_99]

http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him

(search for the comment by "Nikki Sunset")



It sounds like to me like he should have traded her in for later model. An older woman's only value is in her devotion, which an affair shatters.

My opinion:

Whoever posted that, I dont think quite got the spirit of the article. LOL.

There is a big difference between, he/she said they didn't love me anymore but we got through it and... I just got done porking the neighbor, and we got through it. :crackup:

 

[Greasy Pig]

What a load of fvcking bullsht.
I'd organise a huge celebration to renew our wedding vows to start our new lives together after the affair.
Then invite all our family and friends. While everyone excitedly awaits the ceremony (and I'd be running very late) my best friend would ask everyone to open the special commemorative envelopes they each received at the door.
In it would be a detailed account of her infidelity and a short goodbye, telling them I had relocated to some unknown paradise.

 

[konmai]

they both deserve each other. him for being a stupid disgrace of a man and her for being a stupid sloot.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear MDJ,
Today?....The question is irrelevant...I would sooner walk through the Gates of Hell,than live with a Woman...Any Woman...Let alone Marry her...But in the past well,she would have to go...I would make a show of forgiveness,then,six months down the line, push her off a cliff,I know just the spot too....Easy Peasy....An old Polish guy drew an analogy for me some years ago...Scarra he said,suppose you owned a priceless Meissen Vase,someone dropped it...Smashed it to the Shvitters!...Now suppose the most skillful Craftsman in Sydney repaired it,so well in fact that you could hardly see the repair...Well,how do you feel about your vase Now?

 

[Down Low]

Just another great thread!

 

[In2theGame]

What a load of fvcking bullsht.
I'd organise a huge celebration to renew our wedding vows to start our new lives together after the affair.
Then invite all our family and friends. While everyone excitedly awaits the ceremony (and I'd be running very late) my best friend would ask everyone to open the special commemorative envelopes they each received at the door.
In it would be a detailed account of her infidelity and a short goodbye, telling them I had relocated to some unknown paradise.

lol But dont be surprised if everyone calls YOU the jerk.

 

[betheman]

Marriage over, simple as that. she lost attraction, she desired, and probably still does, the rush of the new man, the passion, the unbridled lust of another man.
you want to sleep in the same bed as a woman who you have committed everything to who has these dreams of anopther man, the memories of a better sex life with another man while you were married?

if so, get yourself another woman, helll other women and tell her to f cuckign lump it, you can have a mid life crisis too! have an open marriage.

for most guys though, kick her out or walk, nothing else will work, you could and should, never trust her again

 

[Danton1975]

If my wife cheated she would be out of the door the next second. And I maybe exagerate...I probably mean...a mili-second. That's just how quickly I would make the decision. I wouldn't even have an argument about it. Upon finding out, one of us would start packing IMMEDIATELY...I would do the figuring later (Not that my wife would cheat...at least from most women there my wife is probably the least likely to ever cheat. With women you never know...but with her the probability is extremely low)

Marriage with a woman that cheats is over. Marriage with a man that cheats can actually be salvaged.

I am not a big believer in rules, but this is maybe the only rule I would follow 100% of the time. Coincidentally it helps to have this frame of mind as the woman knows...with this guy...I get no SECOND chances.

 

[AW1983]

I wouldn't even have an argument about it.

Funny man, I feel the exact same way, it's never happened but I've thought about it before and realized I wouldn't even get mad or argue because she made the outcome so simple and irrevocable that arguing or excess emotion would be completely pointless. No amount of pleading from her side would change a thing in my mind. 100% done.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I would at least hope if I got married my wife and I were able to communicate honestly and effectively before something like that could or would ever happen.

Myself I have never nor will ever cheat. It serves me no purpose. I don't do it for anyone but myself. Why? Because I like to have integrity and it's a waste of my time since I'm complete myself and don't require another to complete me as if I'm already a broken person.

As for that situation ever happening to me personally?

I'd be outta there with the quickness. Just because I chose to make one person part of my world and myself of hers wouldn't mean I would never find another.

 

[jonhaul]

If she is involved with another guy and hes willing to take her back. Hes telling her she can do whatever she wants. He demostrated he has no value as a man to her. Hell if a gal dumps me or tells me to get lost and they come back I wont take em! They all had their chance... I am done with the chick after she decides to go. Only a SUCKER and PUSH OVER gives second chances to these women.

 

[Down Low]

Funny thing is, the other man is perfectly happy to send her back to probably have sex with her husband again. He's not a bit jealous. He doesn't care about her. She's just a pump 'n dump to him. Then he's free for the night to shack up with his other girlfriends.

The wife understands this. She may be jealous as hell about it. So why would she spread 'em for a man who has no committment to her? Same answer we always find: she's a slvt.

 

[Aristippus]

100% of the time a woman KNOWS the child is hers.

If a woman cheats or has in the past, a man has no way of knowing whether or not a child is his (other than DNA testing).

This, among many other reasons, is why a man finds it so repulsive when a woman cheats.

As messed up as it sounds, I believe, from stories and observation of many different situations where one spouse cheats, that, as a GROUP, (with differences in individuals) even if women dislike a man cheating and feel betrayed, they are more likely to try to make the relationship work instead of ending it automatically.

Men, generally speaking, seem to have much less tolerance for a cheating girlfriend or wife and are MORE likely to end the relationship if they discover she's cheated on him. Remember, I said as a GROUP. There are many exceptions to this generalization, but I bet if you could narrow it down to a percentage, the percentage of women who try to make it work after the man cheats is higher than the percentage of men who try to make it work after the woman cheats.

Correct me if I'm wrong. This just seems to be the pattern I'm seeing. It's messed up. Is my brain just cherry-picking information or is there some validity to this?

 

[Who Dares Win]

100% of the time a woman KNOWS the child is hers.

If a woman cheats or has in the past, a man has no way of knowing whether or not a child is his (other than DNA testing).

This, among many other reasons, is why a man finds it so repulsive when a woman cheats.

As messed up as it sounds, I believe, from stories and observation of many different situations where one spouse cheats, that, as a GROUP, (with differences in individuals) even if women dislike a man cheating and feel betrayed, they are more likely to try to make the relationship work instead of ending it automatically.

Men, generally speaking, seem to have much less tolerance for a cheating girlfriend or wife and are MORE likely to end the relationship if they discover she's cheated on him. Remember, I said as a GROUP. There are many exceptions to this generalization, but I bet if you could narrow it down to a percentage, the percentage of women who try to make it work after the man cheats is higher than the percentage of men who try to make it work after the woman cheats.

Correct me if I'm wrong. This just seems to be the pattern I'm seeing. It's messed up. Is my brain just cherry-picking information or is there some validity to this?

Thats true for the simple fact related to being sure of paternity plus the fact that a guy who cheats doesnt deprive his wife of any resourches as long as the other woman is a "pumd&dump" while a woman who cheats pose a threath to a man investment in blood,money and reputation.

Plus a man who can bang women without committing is definitely a man of higher stock most of the cases and his wife could even be turned on from that, it confirms that he has the "alpha" seed still being "committed" to her, being the other girls a flavour of the week.