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Would like some advice on how to approach a situation

maosrdbf

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I am very new here and I haven't had time to read everything this site, and the DJ bible has to offer. I will, of course, but I do need urgent assistance, if possible.

I guess it would be wise to summarize my situation first... I had a girl-friend several years back and after we moved to different schools, we stopped speaking. I decided to send her a message through AIM (after 2 years) in August of 2002 and I figured I would try to befriend her. I befriend her once again and I guess, as so accurately described by the "infatuation" article, I am deeply infatuated with her. I hope it's not looked down upon too much here. :)

As I read more and more last night, I noticed that according to the articles, tips, and experience stories, everything I have done in attempt to having a relationship with her is exactly what I should have not done. Oops...

She is a very busy person. She is always working on school related material, and on top of it all, she has way too many friends. I find it hard to speak to her very long and very often.

I have expressed my "jealousy" numberous times to her and asked her repeatedly to call or message me once in a while. I always analyze everything said to her, and I always try to figure out how she feels about me. Sometimes I feel as if she hates me even. Other times she seems to like me. I don't really talk in a confident tone to her either, but I wouldn't say im nervous; just not confident.

This has been going on for months. I have only been able to see her THREE times since. It's that hard to do something with her and no, they weren't dates. I don't think she sees me as more than a friend.

Basically, I screwed everything up with her and now I want to see if I can fix it with some DJ skills.

I live in New Jersey, USA, north of the shore. In early April, during spring break, I want to take her and drive down to one of the nicer beaches to spend an entire day there. I have not invited her yet, but I want to, tomorrow. I am going to see her briefly later today (it's 3am) and I want to ask her in person, then.

Here is how I wanted to approach it. I wanted to point out that she's always busy, that she never has time to sleep, and that it's been a while since she has relaxed. I would point out that I want to bring her someplace (keeping the destination a secret of course, to make it more compelling to go) where she can relax, and take a day off from her everyday busy life. I would then tell her she'd have to dedicate an entire day to me though. So that's the basic idea.

After stumbling across this site (and yes I did find it accidentally) I wondered if maybe I should do it some other way. Basically, I want to invite her in the best possible way. I want her to definetely say yes.

So here is the question: Are there any better ways to approach this situation? How would you go about it?

Keep in mind that I really screwed things up with her already. So this isn't an initial 'we are seeing each other for the first time' approach.

Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks.
 
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maosrdbf

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Okay well, I asked her and she said she would go...wondering where it is, of course...

Now we just have to figure out which day, and it's set. :)
 
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yeah, I'm on the verge of a similar situation myself. Conversion from friend to lover is not an easy task. I dont have any tips. lol. anyways, If someone does, pleas tell.
 

dbot

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I'm back guys :p

A very common question asked on this board... "She only sees me as a friend. Can I make her want me?"

The simple answer is no. The not-so-simple answer is maybe. This can be done rather quickly if you're familiar with NLP and the such, but you're not. In that case it will not be easy at all, so the real question here is.. is it worth your trouble?

I'm not going to post another how-to because many have been written and you can find them by doing a simple search. But as you read the bible and get more familiar with this site, you will realize that there is much more to being a dj than just saying the right lines and getting the girl to like you. In fact, that isn't really what a dj is at all. A dj doesn't allow himself to become infatuated with others (although it happens with even the best djs). A dj is 100% confident in himself. He doesn't understand what women are thinking, and doesn't try to. A dj realizes when he screws up, or when a situation is not going his way, and he knows to MOVE ON. He doesn't waste his time trying to convince a girl that he is so great. If she doesn't want him, then that's her problem.

Do you see where I am getting? Being a dj isn't necessarily about being smooth and witty and charming. Being a dj is just a mentality. But once you have that mentality, everything else will fall into place.

In case you got lost reading all of that, don't waste your time on this girl, learn to move on :p
 

maosrdbf

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Err...yeah... this was my first post on this forum...

I'm surprised someone actually bumped it up but anyway...

That post is pretty embarrasing when I look back at it.

I'm nothing like that person that typed it up anymore.

I have a girlfriend, not her, and I successfully lead on many other girls.

People can change.
 

drixsa

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damn man its nice to see this

i didnt realize that the post was that old at first

i was going to tell you to next her and that making plans for SB in july is just crazy
 

maosrdbf

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Yeah..I guess this is the perfect example for other newbies to view...
 
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