Would anybody like to analyse my situation?

[Robo-Kai]

Ok, yes I have brought David's DYD book, and read the bible, etc etc. But I would like somebody's opinion here (my mates tend to think I bull**** most of the time, they don't believe in this DJ stuff/C+F stuff/Body Language Stuff, so asking them seems helpess, hence, I don't care about what they say and watch them end up in failure).

I'm NOT having a problem here or anything, I would just like to hear what you guys here think of this. I'm open minded, very VERY relaxed, laid back, funny, respected by a lot of mates, etc. Currently at this stage i have no problems whatsoever in my life, just go to college/uni soon, work (get £££ here and there), happy all the time, and go out.

This is mainly at work, not that I plan to pull them or anything. The newsagents I work at consists of me, manager + his wife, and 2 other girls. one of them is 22, married (so fxxk that, she works full time anyway, and my shifts at weekend don't include her in it), the other, 16 (started for about 5 months now, quite decent as well). I'm always C+F @ work, to anyone, especially her.

I get into a lot of arguments with her, make her laugh very hard (jokes here and there, poke fun at her, take the piss), fighting (pushing each other, using the price gun and labelling each other, etc). Nothing wrong here, (I've always been fun at work) or anything. 3 weeks ago my manager's wife was working with her one sunday morning (I don't work sundays) and decided to ask her what she thinks of me. The comments from her were:

"Sweet, funny, kind/very nice, quiet, cheeky/rude"

But, (yep, it came) - "I only like him as a friend" (bearing in mind that I have showed no intention to pull her whatsoever). I know this is work, but I began to wonder why she ain't attracted to me (?). Recently (nearly 2 months ago), I took a 3 week holiday (so she didn't see/work with me for 3 whole weeks) and when I got back she was REALLY happy/pleased and we talked a LOT more since that. (I could tell she was quite attracted/happy to be with me, her body language shows all). She also says she tells her friends a lot about me (And i don't know any of them).

So, since she finishes school at the end of May (17th) she quit her weekends to work full time. I just thought "Well, fxxk that, I just won't see her again now" , AND, her mate (16 also) is coming to replace her on the weekends with me. I worked with her for the first time yesterday (not bad looking, quite decent), and went quite well (she laughed throughout her shift, and since it was her first time working, I got the upperhand). Showed her the till, continously teaching her, etc. She was also one of the slightly less intelligent types, so she tended to **** up everytime, giving me a lot of opportunity to make fun of her (in the F+C way, of course). She laughed lots, and said she had a great time. Again, her mate that left, has told her lots about me, since she mentioned not too long into work "yeh, she's talked loads about you" (hence, another suggestion that she has actually gone about saying things).

Now, the things she told her were along the lines of (like above) "Cheeky, funny, rude, quiet (I swear, I'm NOT lol), very nice, sweet".

Here, I'm beginning to wonder whether I'm a "nice guy" or not, it's actually getting to me by the fact that the 2 things seem to be adding up here. I'm a "Jerk" (cheeky/rude/etc) but I'm also "Nice" (er, I don't buy her things, I haven't done anything that could be classified as NICE except helping her a BIT with heavier things) so what is going on? Lol ... I'm very intrigued by this ... hope someone can let me know their thoughts onto this ^__^

 

[Robo-Kai]

*BUMP*

Sorry, I'll only do this twice, if no once cares I'll drop it ...

 

[sharpshooter]

maybe if you asked her out

or saw her OUTSIDE of work, she'd feel differently. She's probably wondering why you didn't take that next step, therefore she put you in the friendship side since you haven't taken any real action (outside of work/asked her out).

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Two things here:

Not every girl you meet is going to be attracted to you. As much as we re-hash personality over looks, initially its ALL LOOKS! So if there isn't anything that really draws a girl to you right off the bat, she automatically puts you in the LJBF zone. That's not to say she can have a change in opinion later on, of course she could. But look at who your dealing with here. I 16 year old girl. Go back to your high school days and remember how shallow high school dating can be.

I think you should meet more girls first of all and perfect your C/F some more. I have a good friend who I explained all of this to not so long ago and he started to get the hang of it. However many of the girls we'd meet would tell us right off the bat that they could tell that his C/F routine was just and "act" while they felt that I was really C/F and confident.

I truely believe anyone can learn how to be C/F, BUT those that really have success with it, or really "GET IT" are the guys that naturally have had that personality trapped within their former AFC self. So ask yourself, are you trying too hard to be someone your not? If so, they work on making your game more fluid, you don't have to have a witty comeback for everything, pick and choose your spots and it will be a lot better.



PIMP

 

[backbreaker]

okay,

You have done nothing to show her that you are interested in her, and yet you expect her to fall head over heels for you.

Being nice, funny and entertaining to woman is only half of the battle. WHAT ACTUALLY COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS THE OTHER HALF.

I can make a girl laugh all day long, but at the end of the day, she is just going to think I am a funny person.

You have to make your interest known, simple as that. If you are not interested in her, and don't show any interest to her, dont' expect her to do the same for you.

Next time you are playing around, go up behind her and give her a shoulder message. Flirt with her. Right now you are just acting like me any my little sister.

 

[Robo-Kai]

I see ... good point, coming to think about it, you're right, I've showed not much interest in them whatsoever.

The only other trouble is that it's hard for me to get them to go out anywhere. Ok, I'm 18 myself and I really cannot afford a car, so getting anywhere is quite a pain. These 2 live in "town" while the newsagents is in a village, and I live in the village. Buses come and go every hour both ways, making it hard for me to get down town and back, which is another thing holding me back from asking them to go out.

 

[Austin Allegro]

The best thing you can do is find another girl and invite her round to the shop and introduce her to the 16 year old. Watch her eyes light up with jealousy!

Seriously, sounds like you're getting a bit of oneitis here - just a touch, but you need to shake it off.

The 16 year old has LJBFd you, which is pretty much the end of it. Read the Bible for more on this.

As for not having a car, don't worry about it. Use taxis. It's cheaper than a car but should impress your date. Find a good local firm, tip well and build up a relationship and you'll get better service.

 

[zerocelcius]

16? How old are you?

Since that is not your career you should go for her (if 16 is in your range).

I am not sure of your question. If you are asking for approval to go ahead than That is sad, if you are looking for Kudo's for being C+F than fine, but I hope by the time you read this you have already went out and done somthing.
lol

Go get her Tiger.

 

[squirrels]

Assuming you're interested in this girl, 5 months is a long time for her to wait for you to "make a move."

You sound like the type who's done all the reading, incorporated a lot of elements and ideas into your "pick-up game," but still doesn't really "get" the underlying theme of this site or to what end it's trying to move you.

I think you need to start working in more intimacy, a little at a time. It sounds like you're doing everything right but you're afraid of her "finding out" you like her as more than a friend. She can smell that fear. All girls can.

Be more comfortable with your attraction.

 

[Robo-Kai]

Oh no, I'm not asking for approval. Just testing my "arsenal" of weapons on these 2. I don't like to try anything with people at work anyway, these are just my "warm ups" - I really can care less if they are interested or not, but I always like to think ahead. I'm also leaving for university in a few months.

By the way, yeh, I'm 18, so 16s aren't much of a matter. A few months of fun won't hurt, providing that this "new" girl goes well with me