Working women: Waitresses, Bar staff etc

[klaz]

I'm curious to know how ye guys pull these kind of women. I'm currently in week 3 of boot camp, so this is something for the future, however, its an area that I've always wanted to tap, but felt put off a bit.

They're obviously approached alot, and for the most part are HB7-10. With them working its also harder to initiate a conversation, especially since they're always busy.

Any tips on this area, since there's roughly 6-8 women I'd like to get together with...

cheers for any info.

 

[Cheiradawg]

I'm 20 so forgive my tresspasses.

I work in a restraunt. Here's the deal...

If you are worried about them being busy then don't go eat during peak hours. Then they won't be busy.

It is very easy to talk to servers or bartenders. In her mind rapport ='s tips so she will be willing to speak with you.

These girls get hit on but not as much as you might think. Some dude leaves a girl his number two or three times a week and there are 8 girls that work a shift. So these girls get left one number about every 3-4 weeks. That isn't alot but that is the deal where I work. These numbers always end up in the trash can. So don't leave your number get hers or move on.

Now as for what does work. Be very clear about who you are and what you want! There Creep Radar as they say is always on. To them you are just a dude off the street, so you have to tell them alittle about yourself or create some sort of interest. After you do this tell her you want to <insert specific activity that occurs in a public place>, and you want her number so you can call and set up a time to meet you there.

 

[klaz]

cheers for the info.

I tend to go out roughly 4-5 nights a week, so I'm pretty much a regular in alot of these places, and most of the women give me a smile or a nod when I'm served. Its just that i'm hesitant about making any move, and blowing those opportunities. Sure there's plenty of women to approach, but I've always had a bit of a fetish for barstaff (this is not to say I'm not approaching women. Boot Camp is looking after that)

 

[Squid]

I had a buddy that actually had a "system" for picking up waitresses, bartenders, etc. He claimed that it took a good six weeks to get it done. Never ask them out right away, become a regular, get to know them, joke with them and build it up. Once she gets comfortable enough with you ask her out. It is investing alot of time but I've seen it work for him several times at places we would hang out at.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by Squid
I had a buddy that actually had a "system" for picking up waitresses, bartenders, etc. He claimed that it took a good six weeks to get it done. Never ask them out right away, become a regular, get to know them, joke with them and build it up. Once she gets comfortable enough with you ask her out. It is investing alot of time but I've seen it work for him several times at places we would hang out at.

Your buddy is spot on the money. Actually, picking up waitresses etc. is easier, when you think about it. As long as you can show that you are not a creep like 9 out of 10 guys, and even display your value, this works. Again, detachment is also the key. Be friendly sure, but absolutely do NOT make out like you are interested or hitting on her at all because you gotta get her wondering about you.

 

[MRomeo99]

Six weeks???? Damn!!!!

I worked in the restaurant business for 10 years. Six weeks my ass. I like to go to the restaurant closer to closing time, and then I bust their balls the whole night, while on the flip side being nice and funny. I can usually get them to meet me at the local waitstaff watering hole that same night(all the wait staff ends up there, and I've been going there for 15 years). Now of course I have an advantage as I've experience in the business, and have some really hilarious stories that I like to tell. Plus I know people everywhere. But, it really doesn't take that much work if you know how the game works.

Just the way I see it.

-- Romeo

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Yeah, six weeks might be a overdoing it a little.

 

[Squid]

Guys, six weeks is one guys system, to each his own. The point was to built rapport first, which may take more than one or two visits to the place. Showing up, ordering a drink and then asking the waitress out as you leave is not likely going to be as effective. If you can work it in one night then great.

 

[Wyldfire]

I'm a waitress...so I'll help you guys out on this one.

It's our job to be friendly, pleasant and accomodating because the better we do that, the more money we get. Don't EVER attempt to gauge interest based on that. If you see your waitress look your way from time to time from a distance, DON'T read much into that either...we do that to look for signs that we need to check back...like your plate is empty or your drink needs to be refilled. A better way to guage interest is if she stays at your table longer than she has to and keeps the conversation going beyond where she could have ended it...but that's not even a sure thing.

Bottom line...if she finds you attractive, is available and knows you are available then you can get the most success by adjusting things in the following way:

1) Don't go to eat during the rush...she will be too busy.

2) Don't go in right before closing...she has side work and wants to get out of there...show up just in time to keep her from getting out of work and she won't like you, period.

3) Don't nurse your drink in a dining establishment for the whole night...you're costing her money. If you want to stay and drink, move to the bar...she'll still talk to you if she's interested.

4) Find a casual way to let her know you're available and interested...like asking "So where would I go to enjoy a conversation with you when I'm not hungry?" If she tells you where she hangs out, she's probably attracted to you and interested. If she doesn't, she's not.

5) And tip her really well. For those who aren't sure on how to tip...

10% is an insult. If you tip 10% you are telling her you thought her service sucked.

15% tells her you think her service was "ok".

20% tells her you feel you got good service.

25% or more tells her you think she's a great waitress.

If you under-tip her, she won't ever want to wait on you again...and she WILL remember you and consider you cheap.

If you tip her 25% or more she will remember you and want to wait on you anytime you come in.

Hope this helps...

 

[cave dweller]

inside

klaz,

One way is to become an 'inside' man.

ie. Become friends of one of the guys that work there and he will move into the circle.

cave dweller

 

[klaz]

hmmm. Thanks guys for the info. It'll help in the "near future".

Wyldfire, thanks for the insider info. Tipping isn't so much of a problem, since Its mostly Bar Staff, and tipping comes in the form of a jug at the end of the bar. But, I appreciate the advice on the approach.

 

[klaz]

Oddly enough, I approached one waitress a while back. I stopped her and asked "So, How do I chat you up?" She stopped for abt 2 minutes, and chatted, telling me of a bar that she goes to with her friends. Then off she went. Being completely AFC I freaked myself out of the Idea of going to the pub, for fear of the unknown variables (whether she'd be in a group etc)

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Tip her whatever the standard acceptable rate is and no more. Where I live that is 15 percent. I wouldn't ask her out at all. You're tipping your hand and showing too much interest too soon when there are other ways of doing so without actually verbalising it, to me, asking her out like that is like firing a cruise missile and you are essentially going for broke. If you use this method you could be toast, as it is difficult to guage her mood, especially on the job.

You need to get her interest in you stoked bigtime.

I agree with some of wyldfire's general guidelines regarding when to show up, nursing drinks etc, but that's just common sense.

I would personally prefer to amp up the interest level to a point where you've got the waitress/server crawling all over herself to get to you.

I've done it more than once.

I can also tell when I'm getting eye contact for serving reasons as opposed to interest on her part, anyone who can't tell the difference had better start reading.

If you play the game right she will go out of her way for you. So really, the core part of wyldfire's advice is bullsh*t in my opinion.

 

[Wyldfire]

Well, seeing as a large part of my response to the claim that the "core" of my advice is b*ll**** got deleted...

Screw it...don't tip her at all. Make the biggest mess humanly possible. Insist on sitting at a table in the waitress you like's section, preferrably at her biggest table but then only order a glass of water with lemon and nothing at all to eat. But make sure you insist on getting free snack mix from the bar, too...and complimentary bread. Drink the water as fast as you can and keep her busy filling it up. Show up at 4:30 pm and don't leave until 30 minutes after last call. You should also wait until 5 minutes before the kitchen closes and order something cheap that takes awhile to cook. And when you get it...b*tch about it and insist on having a new one made.

Afterall...you're a "DJ" and you're so bloody wonderful and all-wise that you don't have to know proper diner etiquette, including but not limited to tipping. And especially don't listen to a server tell you how to get on the bad side of a waitress.

God I hate it when valid posts are deleted for absolutely no good reason...

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
God I hate it when valid posts are deleted for absolutely no good reason...

You mean this?

*Runs out of thread*

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Eternal
You mean this?

*Runs out of thread*

Yes, that. You know...if you guys are going to move stuff like that you should at least make a post where it origninated informing those who were having the conversation where it went. Not everyone reads every section on a regular basis.

 

[namewitheld]

Thanks for the advice on bar/wait staff, I am generally put off going after them under the belief that they are hit upon by every second male customer and so generally won't appreciate the attention.

My question is about shop staff. A young one whom I have taken a fancy to works at my local grocery shop. We have exchanged smiles most times I am in there and last week after she had been absent for 3 weeks I managed to have a few words with her about where she'd been. (After 12months of going to this store and never saying anything but Hi this was a spur of the moment thing which I am still amazed I managed). I have seen her twice since with smiles and Hi only.

The question is how do I carry this forward? I know the obvious answer is follow up questions after our last talk (she was studing for exams) but its a busy shop so there are always people in front and after me, so conversation is really difficult and possibly embrassing for her (she seems the quiet type because I never see her conversing with customers). She works shifts with colleagues and the male staff tend to take the late evening shifts when the shop is more likely to be quiet.

Any ideas?

 

[penkitten]

i used to wait tables when i was 17 and 18 at waffle house.
i made good money there, and that was the only reason i was there. it was not to make dates.
from time to time, you would have a really cute guy sit in your section and that was nice and all, but most of the time you got a bunch of old men who tried their best to hit on you like you were going to say yes. sometimes thats a pain in the a55.
if you didnt say yes, they would just come back tommorrow and try again. one guy left weird tips like candy bars, like i wanted those...
then you also get the type who fumble with words to ask you out, and just leave the rest of their cash wadded up on the table and leave.

perhaps you should know that most waitresses get hit on alot and remember that if you get turned down.

 

[klaz]

Despite my interest, I've not concentrated in any way on waitresses/barstaff. I've considered it, and finally came to the decision, I might as well get more confident on normal runs first before targeting the harder roles.

Cheers for all the info. In some cases its not applicable, but its helpful to gain info for later occasions.,