Working the girl in your social circle

[blueline]

This isn't really something I'm used to doing. When I get a date, the girl's usually either a random (in which case I don't care if she's on or not; if she gives me a number, I'm asking her out) or she's some girl that was obviously on that was vaguely connected to my social circle. This one isn't obviously on, but I wanna spin the wheel and try to get her to come out for coffee. Should I even bother when there's an actual risk of rejection here? I've asked out a couple of girls she's probably friends with and been rejected by both (I did end up banging a friend of one of the girls from this crew, though ). I don't want to get a reputation of being a desperate guy in this crew.

With social circle girls, should you just wait to catch them at a party or should you do the coffee date?

 

[blueline]

well i'll be damned, that was fast.

in response to "something reminded me of you a couple days ago. how have you been?":

hey! i've been phenomenal, packing as much fun as possible into winter break how about you? and what was this reminder, if you dont mind me asking?

i'm just gonna respond with:

"i was at new haven, boston, and then providence one right after the other 3 days in a row last week. good times, haha. when i was at this rave last weekend, i saw this girl that kinda looked like you hula hooping away. anyways, you seemed kinda interesting the last time i hung out with you, wanna grab a coffee sometime?"

i HATE asking girls on dates that i'm not certain want to ****. all that happened with this chick was that we had a good conversation and i laid off off of making any moves because i thought my friend was trying to bang her when he wasn't.

 

[Speculator E]

I'm disappointed with this post of yours since you wrote a IMO good one recently. The answer is that it doesn't matter. You lead, she follows.

Focus on getter good with women to the point you can get them interested without having to put in much effort. There's a saying, when a girl likes you there's very little that you can do wrong.

And don't worry about rejection. Remember, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. And fortune favors the bold.

 

[Huffman]

If you look ok and ask without making a big fuss out of it, no one's going to see you as desperate.

Desperate are only the guys who never dare to make a move, so their rage and anxiety builds up inside. By the time they get their balls together they release it all and act over the top, and fail. That's desperate.

 

[blueline]

I'm disappointed with this post of yours since you wrote a IMO good one recently. The answer is that it doesn't matter. You lead, she follows.

Focus on getter good with women to the point you can get them interested without having to put in much effort. There's a saying, when a girl likes you there's very little that you can do wrong.

And don't worry about rejection. Remember, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. And fortune favors the bold.

I'm still a novice, man. Sure, I've banged a few hot chicks, but I felt like these were no effort situations. One girl pretty much created a party for me to hookup with her, another straight up invited me over to fuck her.

Yeah, I think you're right. Fuck it, I know exactly what I'm doing here, it's just that I've been rejected so ****ing much lately asking semi-randoms on dates like this.

 

[Speculator E]

I'm still a novice, man. Sure, I've banged a few hot chicks, but I felt like these were no effort situations. One girl pretty much created a party for me to hookup with her, another straight up invited me over to fuck her.

Yeah, I think you're right. Fuck it, I know exactly what I'm doing here, it's just that I've been rejected so ****ing much lately asking semi-randoms on dates like this.

That's where you're doing it wrong. You don't ask random girls on date. You plant seeds for the future. Constantly. And in many places. That's how you play the game smart.

 

[ARrocket]

I'd say the best approach to these situations is to just game her in your group (ie while you're all out together) just enough that she's comfortable coming over to your place. So you're texting back and forth a lil bit, just ask her what's she's doing, if nothing, get her over!

If you don't think that's gonna work out (because of your specific situation, not just in general...), then try getting in some good escalation at a party or out at a bar or wherever ya'll go first, and then after she's receptive to it, invite her over (either right then, or the next day, or whatever).

I think asking her out to coffee isn't gonna get you very far. First, it kinda puts some pressure on her, because it's an obvious "date." Second...it's just not that exciting, and not very sexual. You already know her and she already knows you, so what's more conversation gonna accomplish? Isolate, escalate, win.

 

[handle]

Social circle/parties is where I tend to get girls. If you want to keep it casual and have it "just happen" then bump into her at a party and just game her that night. Or you can just be shooting the **** with her and say "Oh you like hat too? Let's do that then. I'll call you in a bit."

It's pretty simple. I usually let all the planning happen 'spur of the moment' at parties (even though I kinda come in expecting I'll arrange a "hang out" that night). One little tip: you talk to her like, once or twice in the night. You joke around a bunch at the beginning, then you see someone showing up that you want to say hi to, that leads to chatting with other people for an hour or whatever, and then later on you get more flirty. Don't make it seem like you came to the party to cling to her. This has the benefit of also cutting the convo short and sweet so that there aren't any lulls. Best of luck.

 

[blueline]

I'd say the best approach to these situations is to just game her in your group (ie while you're all out together) just enough that she's comfortable coming over to your place. So you're texting back and forth a lil bit, just ask her what's she's doing, if nothing, get her over!

If you don't think that's gonna work out (because of your specific situation, not just in general...), then try getting in some good escalation at a party or out at a bar or wherever ya'll go first, and then after she's receptive to it, invite her over (either right then, or the next day, or whatever).

I think asking her out to coffee isn't gonna get you very far. First, it kinda puts some pressure on her, because it's an obvious "date." Second...it's just not that exciting, and not very sexual. You already know her and she already knows you, so what's more conversation gonna accomplish? Isolate, escalate, win.

I don't really know this girl, I haven't run any game on her yet. I just had one really good conversation about science related stuff when we were both high and then she friend requested me on fb.

I don't always bring girls to secluded locations, a receding outdoor stairwell will do. Subways are good places to close if she's wearing a skirt, so are backseats, bathrooms, etc. Last time the cops caught me with my **** in some 18 y/o Yale girl's mouth during an SNL inside the venue's courtyard in an outdoor stairwell. It's such a great story that I don't care. They let us off on giving us a ticket for public indecency because it was thanksgiving, haha.

I'm also supposed to jam with this hot jazz bassist chick this week (now this is what I'd call a fun date).

There's another coffee date with a different girl in addition to the one this thread is about. The catch about the second coffee girl, let's call her Tammie, is that I do know her very well. We're definitely what you would call 'friends' and we have a really good connection. I don't give a shit if she rejects me as a lover, we can still be friends. I've done that before with girls. She just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 yrs last month and she's probably still fucking him, but it's just because he's around. That guy and being in 3 classes with her last semester were the only things that holding me back from being bold with her before. Whenever I talk to her, I try to initiate direct eye contact with her by starring her down and bring up sexually and romantically charged topics. She doesn't do the deep EC all too often. Sometimes she'll get comfortable with me and start doing it but then she appears to get obviously self-conscious of what's going on and gives me the fleeting EC. *If I can get deep EC going with a girl, that's when I feel comfortable getting the makeout going.

You could call Tammie my oneitis. I have her psychological profile down to a tee just from dealing with her type before and being friends with her. She's got the self-esteem of a fat chick (it's too bad, she's really cute and skinny) and dates these average looking betas that she ends up dominating in a relationship because they don't have the game and looks to fuck hotter girls. There was this one time I told her she looks like a rodent when she gets tired and you could just see her self-esteem lower before your eyes because she responded with "Really? I look like a raccoon? Really?" with this upset tone.

Counter-intuitive here, but I think she's the kind of girl where a couple non-needy compliments on her appearance will work because she obviously doesn't have sex for orgasms, but rather to get the love her parents would never give her.

I'm gonna use the other two girls as warm-ups for the oneitis date. Totally gonna try to bang those girls, too. Hopefully, I can get it done right before the date with oneitis (having sex before a date is money!!!), the other coffee girl is def a girl that likes to have fun. She's probably hotter naked than the oneitis, too, lol.

*There was one time in starbucks where I couldn't ever get the deep EC going with this French chick I cold approached while we were sitting their talking about total nonsense during a totally boring conversation. I was thinking I was ****ed at this point. We then went outside and smoked a cigarette. More boring, awkward talk about nothing. No kino whatsoever. The smell of sex was in the air, though. Then as I'm about to say bye, I give her a hug and tell her to wait as she pulls away and we makeout in the middle of the street with people passing us on both sides. It was like a movie, kinda beautiful actually. I fall out of touch with her for a couple months, but then we fuck in some random guy's bedroom at a party two days before she leaves to go back to France.

The other time at starbucks, I ended up getting the girl so horny by rubbing her legs with my feet under the table that we ended up fucking in my ****ty 2001 toyota corolla. We fell in love pretty quickly and dated exclusively for several months. Marriage was talked about in that relationship, but I knew she was too psychotic to be my wife, so I just strung her along for the immediate feelings she conjured up in me. So really, coffee dates own. You just gotta be a dog and the girl has to be into you.

 

[blueline]

double post

 

[Speculator E]

One more thing blueline,

Don't forget to work on your career goals. Don't be that guy that get so good with women but doesn't have any other skills and ends up working dead end jobs. It looks like you're doing good so far. Money comes first over girls.