Working out with a gf/wife

[Murk]

Is there ever any point?

I tried this with my ex gf and she was so lazy and never pushed herself. I would make her continue when she wanted to give up and she could do DOUBLE the reps. I remember she did 16-18 reps of rows and I told her to go up in weight "I can't lift heavy weights because my back hurts" whatever. Or she would mimic the time I did a set, and when I finished so did she, regardless of weight/intensity.

I had to change it to "let's work out for 1 hour doing our own thing" because watching her work out put me off. She never listened to me anyway and always had some excuse to half-ass everything which is so off-putting to me.

Now, I am looking for a girl that goes to the gym, off her own back, and has her routine and diet in check. Yesterday a girl suggested we work out together and I got some Vietnam flashbacks of my ex gf.

Is it worth it? I would only be doing it for my partner's benefit as I'm happy on my own.

 

[Gamisch]

Why not?

A woman must have intrinsic motivation to work out. Especially when 20/25 % body fat is "perfectly acceptable " for women. I tried to make an" project " of a fat girl. Pretty face, disgusting body. But it's really difficult because habits are a MF. I think deep down she knew that the next AFC " wouldn't mind". And she was right..no intencive to improve.

That's why it's good to be in the gym and increase your chances of meeting one there..you already have going to the gym in common.

Got this new flirty PT and what's attractive about her is not just her looks (6,5/7 perhaps) ,but the fact is hard to meet a woman whose as fanatical about sports as I am. And she knowledgeable too.

So imo you rather find a suitable woman whose aligned with your lifestyle rather than "making a project " of a unmotivated one.

 

[Murk]

Why not?

A woman must have intrinsic motivation to work out. Especially when 20/25 % body fat is "perfectly acceptable " for women. I tried to make an" project " of a fat girl. Pretty face, disgusting body. But it's really difficult because habits are a MF. I think deep down she knew that the next AFC " wouldn't mind". And she was right..no intencive to improve.

That's why it's good to be in the gym and increase your chances of meeting one there..you already have going to the gym in common.

Got this new flirty PT and what's attractive about her is not just her looks (6,5/7 perhaps) ,but the fact is hard to meet a woman whose as fanatical about sports as I am. And she knowledgeable too.

So imo you rather find a suitable woman whose aligned with your lifestyle rather than "making a project " of a unmotivated one.

I work out mostly at my home gym and very occasionally go into a gym.

When I did go, I never approached girls at the gym, I am recording rest time and prepping the next set, timing the whole thing so I can go home. I find it weird men are approaching women at the gym but I guess if you want a fit girl with good habits, it's a good place to do it.

 

[Gamisch]

I work out mostly at my home gym and very occasionally go into a gym.

When I did go, I never approached girls at the gym, I am recording rest time and prepping the next set, timing the whole thing so I can go home. I find it weird men are approaching women at the gym but I guess if you want a fit girl with good habits, it's a good place to do it.

Coach eo had a great video on why approach (especially nowadays) should be treated with caution and how a " man with class" goes about it. His take was that you should rather observe probably than doing spam approach.

The gym is a place where you can build familiarity with women. The women who fancy you day 1 will also fancy you day 50. You never know where you'll meet them again.

A reoccurring theme for the bluepilled man is that his gf" left him for a dude in the gym". This scenario we all know how this happened right? Big dude was being friendly, helped her out here and there , and fast forward, eventually he "stole his gf". Perhaps the main reason why I see muslim dudes with their chubby gf's. Well trained dude with a chubby girl who only lifts 1 kg dumbbells and does some walking on the treadmill. At least he keeps taps on her.

Imo gym approachers are more sneaky about it than for example day/night game approachers. They'll be in the gym 6 days a week anyway...no man will spend that much time at a club.

 

[IKO69]

Why not?

A woman must have intrinsic motivation to work out. Especially when 20/25 % body fat is "perfectly acceptable " for women. I tried to make an" project " of a fat girl. Pretty face, disgusting body. But it's really difficult because habits are a MF. I think deep down she knew that the next AFC " wouldn't mind". And she was right..no intencive to improve.

That's why it's good to be in the gym and increase your chances of meeting one there..you already have going to the gym in common.

Got this new flirty PT and what's attractive about her is not just her looks (6,5/7 perhaps) ,but the fact is hard to meet a woman whose as fanatical about sports as I am. And she knowledgeable too.

So imo you rather find a suitable woman whose aligned with your lifestyle rather than "making a project " of a unmotivated one.

I think this is great advice. People are going to do what they want to do - if you have to twist someone's arm to get them to exercise it is only going to work for a little while. In their heart they simply don't value it and this may or may not be a deal breaker depending on your attitude towards fitness.

You will want someone that is on your wavelength - if fitness is important you are not going to be content with someone who doesn't prioritize it. For this reason the gym/aerobics classes, anything of this sort, serves as a good hunting ground. Some aspects about it seem almost hostile towards a successful meet (earbuds) but the truth is lots of women have their "gym crushes" and dress in a way that invites attention, they are expecting it. As I had said in the other thread you just need to use some tact; they ALSO are there to workout. You don't want to be the guy who hounds them the entire time they are there (this is not good) or ask her a million questions / try to have a long drawn out convos when she's really focused on whatever she's doing at the time. Goes without saying this is very rude - you want to take things slow, plant a seed here and there.

---

The other thing I forgot to add is try not to get discouraged by some of the other people there. When I was going to Lifetime, it wasn't necessarily a meat head gym, but there were lots of guys that put me to shame and I have worked out for a very long time. They weren't necessarily all that much bigger than me but they were absolutely peeled, looked like a paper cut away from death. You'd see them in the lockerroom- Crazy vascularity. I'm almost sure many were on steroids but this is besides the point, they admittedly looked phenomenal and could be magic mike dancers. It easy to assume with these guys around the situation is hopeless but this is a terrible mindset to have. In truth you actually don't really know until you try. You level the playing field with charm, style and balls (actually trying with the women instead of admiring yourself in the mirror)

 

[Gamisch]

I think this is great advice. People are going to do what they want to do - if you have to twist someone's arm to get them to exercise it is only going to work for a little while. In their heart they simply don't value it and this may or may not be a deal breaker depending on your attitude towards fitness.

You will want someone that is on your wavelength - if fitness is important you are not going to be content with someone who doesn't prioritize it. For this reason the gym/aerobics classes, anything of this sort, serves as a good hunting ground. Some aspects about it seem almost hostile towards a successful meet (earbuds) but the truth is lots of women have their "gym crushes" and dress in a way that invites attention, they are expecting it. As I had said in the other thread you just need to use some tact; they ALSO are there to workout. You don't want to be the guy who hounds them the entire time they are there (this is not good) or ask her a million questions / try to have a long drawn out convos when she's really focused on whatever she's doing at the time. Goes without saying this is very rude - you want to take things slow, plant a seed here and there.

---

The other thing I forgot to add is try not to get discouraged by some of the other people there. When I was going to Lifetime, it wasn't necessarily a meat head gym, but there were lots of guys that put me to shame and I have worked out for a very long time. They weren't necessarily all that much bigger than me but they were absolutely peeled, looked like a paper cut away from death. You'd see them in the lockerroom- Crazy vascularity. I'm almost sure many were on steroids but this is besides the point, they admittedly looked phenomenal and could be magic mike dancers. It easy to assume with these guys around the situation is hopeless but this is a terrible mindset to have. In truth you actually don't really know until you try.

Its no different from being in the club or bar and " just being here being mr flyguy". If you have a steady bar or club you go to,you also won't run towards every woman that enetes the building.

The fact you are in her proximity can /should be enough to spark her curiosity. Its the same for them as for us: a hot woman will spark out curiosity as well.

I agree: planting a seed can be as simple as saying hello , or even a soundless wink or head nod.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Never. There isn't a point to working out with anyone in my mind. I've tried a few times. Everyone who I tried it with quit after the first time.

They had way too much fvckarounditis and weren't there to work the same way I was.

I don't ever work out with anyone anymore. Don't have time to deal with them, I'm done in 25 minutes and it's balls to the wall for the whole 25 mins.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It will never work. All you will do is get frustrated. Even if she’s already fit she wants to do things her way, not yours.

The best thing I did for my woman’s fitness is to do the grocery shopping. If you control the food supply into the home, she will only eat what is there (provided she is busy enough with her own career if business).

Women don’t even have a fraction of the mental toughness that men do. Expecting her to be as disciplined as you is just recipe for disaster.

Men, realize that women are childlike. They are basically kids in adult bodies. Biologically programmed to not be accountable for anything. Accountability is for men only.

 

[Obee1]

Is there ever any point?

I tried this with my ex gf and she was so lazy and never pushed herself. I would make her continue when she wanted to give up and she could do DOUBLE the reps. I remember she did 16-18 reps of rows and I told her to go up in weight "I can't lift heavy weights because my back hurts" whatever. Or she would mimic the time I did a set, and when I finished so did she, regardless of weight/intensity.

I had to change it to "let's work out for 1 hour doing our own thing" because watching her work out put me off. She never listened to me anyway and always had some excuse to half-ass everything which is so off-putting to me.

Now, I am looking for a girl that goes to the gym, off her own back, and has her routine and diet in check. Yesterday a girl suggested we work out together and I got some Vietnam flashbacks of my ex gf.

Is it worth it? I would only be doing it for my partner's benefit as I'm happy on my own.

IMO, it's not worth it. I've had the same experience's years ago. I finally had to make a rule. In my personal training days on the occasion and client expressed interest in something outside the gym and I was interested, they had to make a choice, go on a date and find a new trainer, or continue to train. Of course nowadays it's also the professional and ethical thing to do.

Maybe a rare exception to the rule would be early on and you wanted to test out whether she is would be agreeable and accept being led and follow directions (feminine) or is disagreeable (masculine) and unwilling to give you the lead. For the most part your lifting time should be your manly meditation. I think there is such thing as too much togetherness. She needs to know also you're out there getting attention from other females to leave her wondering. This may also get her to get her sh&t together and to get on top of her routine to look her best for you. This is what works for me at least.

 

[Kotaix]

I do work out with my gf, but her idea of a workout is child's play to me. She gives me grief for going to the gym sometimes, which I ignore. She (vehemently) refuses to go to the gym, probably because she doesn't want anyone to see her in her current state, which is only very slightly overweight.

She is capable of self-motivation. When I started toying with intermittent fasting I was surprised how quickly she jumped onboard and how rigidly she stuck to the fasting intervals. But she suffers from lack of motivation when she doesn't see the results she wants to see. She knows damn well that she needs to get more exercise, and she says as much. I've had good success getting her more active by playing pickleball.

I find that most people are too addicted to instant gratification to put in enough effort on anything. If they can't do it perfectly right off the bat, or if they plateau for any length of time, they lose interest or say it doesn't work, and fall off the bandwagon. This applies to pretty much everything: languages, work, fitness, etc.

I made the mistake once of dating what I thought was a "project" woman, never again. Even if she finds the motivation to lose the weight, her body is likely to remain disgusting.