Working Less + Spending Less = Living Less

bigneil

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I have a new roommate who works with me so I figured we'd have similar lifestyles but I was wrong. After 2 months it's become obvious that his philosophy is simple: if he does very little and spends very little, he can work very little to afford his expenses.

Observations:

* He genuinely seems to believe that someday he'll find a woman who says "Oh my God! I want to spend the rest of my life in your unfurnished bedroom with the blinds pulled down too!"

* I think he might be a virgin at age 38.

* I get up 3 hours earlier (5am vs 8am), get to work 2.5 hours earlier (6am vs 8:30am), have a healthy dinner made from scratch by the time he gets home, and then he's too lazy to even help clean up the mess. He'll just sit there surrounded by dishes forever until I finally take them.

* Now I'm finding he's too cheap to even replenish the ingredients he consumes or beers he drinks. I get Angry Orchard, Micro brewed beer, and $20-$30 a bottle wine, and he buys generic 2% milk, Ocean Spray High Fructose Corn Syrup Artificially Flavored Sink Water. I buy organic, grass-fed, bone-in beef, he buys radishes and iceberg lettuce. I distill my own water, he drinks tap water.

* Meanwhile, when he got locked out of the apartment at 11:30pm on a weekend, in the middle of summer in a gated community, in an area with at least 5 great bars and restaurants that were open and within a mile, he was checked into the cheapest hotel by 11:45pm and demanded I reimburse him.

* It was an emergency for him not to get to bed by midnight on a Saturday.

* I drove a UHaul 800 miles and carried all my belongings except 2 items to the 3rd floor by myself. He left his stuff at his other apartment because he thought the UHaul was too expensive so he has hardly any furniture. Then he needed to take a 15 minute break between the 2 items I needed help with.

* I've worked every Saturday for 5 hours each of the past 10 weeks, taking home an extra 50 hours pay. He sleeps in on Saturday, never worked once, stays home all day, and doesn't take advantage of a chance to be paid for overtime.

* I bought a $2000 organic queen bed and he bought a $200 single bed with no real mattress or boxed spring. We have the same job.

* When I had an extra $100 ticket to see a concert he decided to stay home.

* Although I'm 7 years older, I've had about 5 dates in 10 weeks here, he's got 0 phone numbers and has never left the apartment except to go to work or the grocery store.

Summary. Ask yourself this: why would a woman want a man who has less income, less energy, lower quality input (diet) and lower quality output (no events, vacations or trips)? Don't be like my roommate. In fact, I'm somewhat concerned that living with a man like this will drag me down. I honestly wouldn't even tolerate a woman being so unproductive. What do I do? Kick his ass? Move out?
 

thunder_god

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Move. I've had a really bad experience with my current room mate as well. The guy is a frigging pig. Makes a mess but doesn't clean up afterwards. I had to tell him a few times and then he would do a half assed job cleaning up. He's also selfish and just moves my dishes to the side or my stuff in the fridge if he needs room. He only texts me if he needs something from me, such as my share of the utilities, he forgot his keys, etc. The guy had the nerve to ask me to wash his protein shaker bottle back during the Christmas holidays because he didn't want to come back home. Well I washed it alrite, with my urine :) We were in the same program and he would just take off like 1 min before I would leave the apartment without waiting for me. Afterwards I just said f&*^ it and to hell with him. Its a waste of time trying to compromise and make someone else change. Just move out, its not worth the stress and headache of dealing with pieces of $hit human beings like that.
 

piranha45

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He must be enjoying life as it is for him, or he would change his ways.

I think your points are highly subjective. They're opinions. I don't think the bulk of your preferences make you more alpha than him, if that's what you're trying to get at.

Your post reeks of unjustified arrogance.
 

foreverAFC

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sounds like your roomate is introverted and depressed. i can relate to this guy, i dont want go to any concerts or bars or whatever, i jsut want to go to work and then go home and lay in my bed and be left the fck alone. i only leave the house to go to work or gym or the 711 around the corner from my house. i just dont care. i live alone, but my apartment is bare and i just sit in my room and surf the internet all night.

however, i definitely dont expect any woman to find any of this attractive or interesting, but at this point just getting a good nights sleep and not being tired in the morning when i have to drag my ass to work is really my biggest concern these days
 

mangotot

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So you are working am additional 2.5 hours per day and am extra 5 hours on a Saturday which makes it 17.5 hours more or probably 50 per cent more them him for the week. So if he earns 2000$ for the week you've earned 3000$ for the week. I bet his simple lifestyle means he has more money in the bank then you.
 

mangotot

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foreverAFC said:
however, i definitely dont expect any woman to find any of this attractive or interesting, but at this point just getting a good nights sleep and not being tired in the morning when i have to drag my ass to work is really my biggest concern these days
At his age there are women looking such a man to be the provider. He just hasn't gone out to find them.
 

JohnyTheArrow

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I woudlnt worry about the guy, I would worry about you.You have some deep low self-esteem issues and you need constantly to compare to other people to know you are 'winner' and they are 'loosers'.

There was once a guy, he build a bank from scratch,he got rich and he died at age 43 on heart attack, that's more or less your age Neil :) So you have nice bed, eat better food big deal, but you pay for it with most precious resource - your time.If he has more time and is happy he is winner and BTW there is no such thing like 'organic' until you labtest every piece of it.It is full of toxins and radioactivity like any other food.
 

zekko

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It makes me wonder how you ended up with a roommate like this, or why you even want a roommate for that matter. It just goes to show how a lot of people work very hard to avoid work.

I don't care to go to concerts or bars either. I don't drink anymore, plus I did all that sh!t when I was younger. I'd rather be doing something more productive.

I believe more in the "you have to work for what you want" philosophy myself. That's what I've followed, and I've never regretted it. But I confess I do have admiration for people who live ascetically, who are very frugal, and have learned to live with less. There's a difference between that and just being lazy, however.
 

Building_and_Loan

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piranha45 said:
He must be enjoying life as it is for him, or he would change his ways.

I think your points are highly subjective. They're opinions. I don't think the bulk of your preferences make you more alpha than him, if that's what you're trying to get at.

Your post reeks of unjustified arrogance.
I have to agree with this honestly. It sounds like you two simply have different lifestyles, and I really don't see any reason to move or kick him out, unless you are looking for your roommate to be your best friend and hang out all the time. I would understand that, some people (including myself) have roommates to always have a buddy there to hang out with. Of course I haven't had a roommate in over 3 years, I love the solitary lifestyle.

Some people just have different priorities in life, and it sounds like you have a higher priority on women and other things than he does. He may just not care, some people are just introverted and like to keep to themselves and live a minimalist lifestyle. I mean don't get me wrong, it sounds like I wouldn't want to be roommates with him either, but I don't see that much here that warrants kicking him out or moving.
 

Julian

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Roommates are so unnecessary
 

JohnChops

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why do you have a roomate?

That guy sounds like a boring sack of sh1t. I'd end my life if it ever came to that. Studying, working, lifting, fishing, cliff jumping, hanging out with friends, how the hell can you sit home all day?!

I understand when there is nothing to do and maybe you want to sleep in, you dont have work, youre on vacation but doing it on a daily basis seems depressing.
 

Serenity

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I don't like to frame it as there being a wrong way and right way to live. I do however like to frame things as personal choices, because this puts everyone in charge of themselves lazy or not. You can be passive and be happy about that or you can be active and happy about that as well. Being passive has the advantage of low risk of stress since only what is nescessary to live is done with minimal effort, however in the frame of choice it means accepting you won't get what you want much of the time. If you don't want much and understand the truth that rewards are proportional to effort it's perfectly possible to feel satisfied with that. Being active has the advantage of getting what you want, in the frame of choice it means having to put in effort. If you want something you have to put in effort, the greater the goal the more effort you have to put into achieving it since reward is proportional to effort.

So to simplify it down to a choice you can either work to get what you want or stop wanting. What causes complaining is basically wanting something without working for it, the world just doesn't operate like that. Working for something you want and not getting it means that either you're doing it wrong or in the case it depends on someone else they're not fulfilling their end of the deal in which case fvck them and move on.

Women work the same way, you can work for what you want or settle for less. Both strategies are fine, but since it's a personal choice it's your responsibility if you're not satisfied with it. What is often considered beta is to settle for less, what is often considered alpha is to work for it.

There's some hard to spot problems on both sides of the spectrum though. Being active and wanting more may leave you unsatisfied with everything you get, so control your desires. Being passive and not wanting anything may leave you unsatisfied with things you accepted that later turned out to not be good, so at least know what you don't want.

I personally prefer balance taking the best of both worlds. Being active enough to get what I want, patient and persistent enough to weed out what I don't want, wise enough to decide what's good enough and settle for that.

I admire the people who have endless energy to work on getting what they want, but I also admire the people who have mastered the art of remaining satisfied with less. The balance point I prefer is to enjoy progression, sometimes it means slowing down and other times it means speeding up. Which one it is depends on current circumstances, one thing is for sure and that's the fact that time is out of my control, what I do in time is not and I prefer going in the direction that satisfies me the most. There's no one specific goal or any ultimate goal, as one goal is reached another one takes its place so it changes with time.

I believe that is what the phases of life are. For all you know your room mate may be satisfied with the way it is now, but that may later change by itself when his lifestyle doesn't serve him anymore. I lived like that before and it was great at that time, just like it was great being dependent as fvck when I was a child, just like it was great when I was working like crazy to become independent and like it is great now to have a balance between and stability between things.
 

skinnyguy

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If you're in your 40s you shouldn't have a roommate.
 

PeasantPlayer

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Entrepreneurs nation 9-5 is like working for commissary in prison
 

bigneil

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To his credit, he paid for half of a large order of red meat. I think I need to toughen him up a bit. I think he still has as shot at getting a woman he's happy with, and he is a talented musician. Maybe this is God's way of testing my ability to be a dating coach in real life.

skinnyguy said:
If you're in your 40s you shouldn't have a roommate.
If I was in my 40's and had a stable city of employment, I would certainly not have a roommate. But with 8 cities in 3 years at my current job, I know it's probably only temporary, and saving $800 a month doesn't hurt. Roommates are only cool if you have your own place somewhere else, which is what I'm going to work on. I think that in order to score in your apartment, you need a city pad plus a place near work to crash, unless you work at home, which is rare but thankfully becoming more common.

Grewd said:
So to simplify it down to a choice you can either work to get what you want or stop wanting.
Yes, and I'm not claiming I'm better. But if eating healthier leads to more energy which leads to more output and more income which affords eating better, that is indeed a superior lifestyle.
 

Serenity

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bigneil said:
Yes, and I'm not claiming I'm better. But if eating healthier leads to more energy which leads to more output and more income which affords eating better, that is indeed a superior lifestyle.
Lifestyle is circular, there's no inferior or superior, just personal preference. Eating like you do give you more energy, working like you do requires more energy, the energy you have comes from your food, the food you eat is supported by your income which depends on energy output. So your high energy demand requires more energy to sustain, so what's the difference?

You can just as well reduce input and output, it doesn't matter. It depends on what you personally want, giving more means getting more. More isn't nescessarily better or superior.
 

mangotot

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(Working Less + Spending More = Living More) is smarter then (Working More + Spending More = Living More)
 

Serenity

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mangotot said:
(Working Less + Spending More = Living More) is smarter then (Working More + Spending More = Living More)
You sure? So how do you spend more than you've worked for?
 

mangotot

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Grewd said:
You sure? So how do you spend more than you've worked for?
Get a job that pays you more. Big Neil says his work day starts at 6.30 in the morning and he is at work Saturdays too. If you ask me, the sane person in all of this is the room mate. 4 hour a week et al...
 

thatfeel

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Fatneil your self righteous ego stroking threads bore us all and dont contribute anything to this forum. Also, my fvcking face when "organic" bed. We're all very impressed that you're sleeping on a bed recycled from the manure of "grass-fed" cows; we get it dude, you're bought into the "organic" "all natural" marketing scheme, no one fvcking cares.

And besides why are you even posting anything at all about your roommate on a public forum? Have some integrity dude. It's not like you're shacked up with a criminal. Shouldn't you be living in your own mansion or something? You're always talking about how much money you waste on women.

You guys above who are even bothering to waste your time having a discussion with this guy, you want the REAL "summary" of this post?

OP Summary: "My self esteem has kicked the bucket and I'm lacking internal validation for my actions, so, I'm coming on here and belittling my roommate and using all of his perceived shortcomings as opportunities for me to boast about myself to random strangers on the internet".
 
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