Women not showing interest

[baltyre]

I am 26, fairly good looking, in great shape, and I have a professional job. I meet a lot of women (mostly friends of co-workers, friends of friends, and some random women). I think we have nice conversations, and I try to follow the DJ rules and be light and funny. However, the attractive ones just never seem interested.

Now, here's my question: Is it possible some of these women are showing interest, but are subtle and I am missing out on it. For the guys out there who meet women after college (20's and later) do these women make it obvious they are interested. I understand that I have to take some risks, but I would at least like to have a clue to know when I have good odds, especially since many of the women are friends of co-workers.

For example, the other night I met two single female friends of a co-worker, both in the 6.5-7 range(which I guess is where I'm at). I had light conversations about movies and whatever, in addition to some exchange of basic info. I focused the convo's on them, but I didn't get any overt signals like them touching me or extended eye-contact. So, nothing happened , and this pattern just repeats itself.

When you guys have met girls that you hooked up with / dated did they show obvious interest when you met? Are there telltale signs of interest or lack of interest? Do you have some advice as to how I can improve my situation?

 

[Wyldfire]

The best way to find out if any of them are interested in you is to send some signals of your own. Let her catch you looking at her a few times. Let one of her friends overhear you comment positively about her...etc. If she is attracted to you and gets a sign that you are also attracted to her she should send you some signals.

Most women won't take the initial risk of showing interest because they don't want to risk rejection. You've got to stir the pot a bit first...

 

[NorPacWolf]

Look for IOI's and AI's

During the initial attraction phase, you should look for "indicators of interest", or IOI's. These signs can include her:

a. squeezing your hand as you shake hands
b. re-initiating conversation as you've stopped talking: "so...."
c. blushing as you two talk
d. touching you
e. complimenting you
f. asking your name

IOI's occur AFTER you have approached her, or more infrequently, if she has approached you. You ARE approaching girls and talking to them, aren't you?

You will sometimes, or often (depends on the person and situation), receive "approach invitations", or AI's. These signs such as staring or staring and smiling, or her hovering near you with no apparent need to do so, are likely indicators that she wants you to talk to her.

Check out fastseduction's player guide, or check out the free material on Mystery's website, mysterymethod.com. Both sites have an active forums (fora?) also.

 

[SoCalMike]

I am 26, fairly good looking, in great shape, and I have a professional job. I meet a lot of women (mostly friends of co-workers, friends of friends, and some random women). I think we have nice conversations, and I try to follow the DJ rules and be light and funny. However, the attractive ones just never seem interested.

Now, here's my question: Is it possible some of these women are showing interest, but are subtle and I am missing out on it. For the guys out there who meet women after college (20's and later) do these women make it obvious they are interested. I understand that I have to take some risks, but I would at least like to have a clue to know when I have good odds, especially since many of the women are friends of co-workers.

For example, the other night I met two single female friends of a co-worker, both in the 6.5-7 range(which I guess is where I'm at). I had light conversations about movies and whatever, in addition to some exchange of basic info. I focused the convo's on them, but I didn't get any overt signals like them touching me or extended eye-contact. So, nothing happened , and this pattern just repeats itself.

When you guys have met girls that you hooked up with / dated did they show obvious interest when you met? Are there telltale signs of interest or lack of interest? Do you have some advice as to how I can improve my situation?

I'd say if she makes a lot of eye contact with you, touches you at all, blushes, stands/sits close to you, you make her laugh and smile a lot, those are good signs and pretty obvious.

When you talk to her does she seem glad that you are, or just tolerating you?

If you don't have the basic skills to distinguish interest from just being polite and tolerating you, then keep practicing and hopefully you'll get it.

Oh and by the way, when you get these signs you'd better act on it - meaning ask for her number, ask her out, ask to hang out later, whatever.

Yes, you will often get rejected (still doesn't mean she's not attracted to you but maybe just not available) but you will KICK yourself if you get these signals and don't follow up. It's happened to me many times and I've always regretted it. Now I ALWAYS ask out or make some kind of move to make it plain as day I'm interested. Even when I get shot down it feels 100x bettter than not doing it.

Hope this helps.

 

[Zonder]

they were not interested

When a woman is interested, you'll feel it right away. They have hundreds of ways of making it clear. If they're not giving clear signals it means you need to game them more.

If for some reason you need to make sure, just touch them on the hand or arm or upper back non-sexually, and watch their reaction.

From what you told me about the convo, though, it seems as if they were somewhat interested, and gave you a chance to make them even more interested. You may have blown it by talking about general stuff, inseat of solid teasing/funny/entertaining material.

 

[baltyre]

Thanks for the responses, they are all very helpful. I will be more forward in these types of situations in the future. I'll try displaying my interest first (subtly...eye contact, personal questions, kino), and try to be aware if they show any signs of interest. Though as SoCalMike posted, essentially I just have to take a risk and ask for the number, and be willing to get rejected. I also have to work on my conversational skills to display that I am a fun guy to be around.

 

[Unbridled_1]

Baltyre,

I definitely understand what you are going through. I consider myself a decent looking guy with many things going for me. Yet, I often feel left out when it comes to attractive women being interested.

You have to put yourself out there and be outgoing. As a person who is not naturally outgoing like myself, I understand it can be difficult. But you have to play the game. No girl is going to say well he is a nice guy, I'll be attracted to him. Show them you're fun , can carry a good conversation, and talk to all of the women around, not just your targets. Keep doing that and you will get better and see results, although you will also have to experience rejection and disappointments as part of the process.

 

[Cruise]

Play the game like it's already sex.

Stimulate, arouse, interest, ... exhilaration. Suspense, passion, excitement... blah blah blah blah blah ... poof... cigarette


BANG! POW! WHAM!



See?



Improve your environment. People don't FLOCK to big metro cities for nothing nowadays. Las Vegas doesn't have hotties there for the nice desert weather.

Stimulate. BE the attraction.





.... *whistles off to ole Blue Eyes*

 

[juanita]

During the initial attraction phase, you should look for "indicators of interest", or IOI's. These signs can include her:

a. squeezing your hand as you shake hands
b. re-initiating conversation as you've stopped talking: "so...."
c. blushing as you two talk
d. touching you
e. complimenting you
f. asking your name

IOI's occur AFTER you have approached her, or more infrequently, if she has approached you. You ARE approaching girls and talking to them, aren't you?

You will sometimes, or often (depends on the person and situation), receive "approach invitations", or AI's. These signs such as staring or staring and smiling, or her hovering near you with no apparent need to do so, are likely indicators that she wants you to talk to her.

Check out fastseduction's player guide, or check out the free material on Mystery's website, mysterymethod.com. Both sites have an active forums (fora?) also.

totally agree with that one. maybe u should print it and learn by heart.also maybe some women need to print it just to know how they should express their interest

 

[biker_gixxer]

During the initial attraction phase, you should look for "indicators of interest", or IOI's. These signs can include her:

a. squeezing your hand as you shake hands
b. re-initiating conversation as you've stopped talking: "so...."
c. blushing as you two talk
d. touching you
e. complimenting you
f. asking your name

I had light conversations about movies and whatever, in addition to some exchange of basic info.

In other words...*snoring*.

You won't see these 'indicators of interest' (which are right on by the way), if you don't change your interaction with these women. Talking about movies and 'whatever'? How is a girl supposed to be attracted and excited by your presence with everyday 'normal' chat like this? Right now an interaction with you is like being on a slow moving merry go round. Come on man, snap out of it. Put her emotions on a roller coaster ride. Get her heart racing and her palms sweaty. See what I'm saying? Be edgy, say something flirty, funny, ****y, do 'something'.

 

[Un-Aru]

Originally Posted by baltyre
I am 26, fairly good looking, in great shape, and I have a professional job. I meet a lot of women (mostly friends of co-workers, friends of friends, and some random women). I think we have nice conversations, and I try to follow the DJ rules and be light and funny. However, the attractive ones just never seem interested.

Now, here's my question: Is it possible some of these women are showing interest, but are subtle and I am missing out on it. For the guys out there who meet women after college (20's and later) do these women make it obvious they are interested. I understand that I have to take some risks, but I would at least like to have a clue to know when I have good odds, especially since many of the women are friends of co-workers.

For example, the other night I met two single female friends of a co-worker, both in the 6.5-7 range(which I guess is where I'm at). I had light conversations about movies and whatever, in addition to some exchange of basic info. I focused the convo's on them, but I didn't get any overt signals like them touching me or extended eye-contact. So, nothing happened , and this pattern just repeats itself.

When you guys have met girls that you hooked up with / dated did they show obvious interest when you met? Are there telltale signs of interest or lack of interest? Do you have some advice as to how I can improve my situation?

I feel your pain too, I was in a somewhat similar situation. This is going to sound a bit conceited, but here's something I learned recently - if you are good looking and in great shape girls can actually 'freeze up' on you. I found out this while having a nice chat to a chick that I was doing. How we hooked up: she saw me at a party decided she was gonna do me that night (I already knew her but had barely talked to her) and was gonna take her time about it. However, when she saw all the other girls I was surrounded by she realised she'd have to make a move quickly or risk losing out. I asked her: "What do you mean all the other girls? I know them, they're just friends." She replied: "I didn't really know them, but I know what I saw, just like the other times I've seen you. Your presence make girls nervous..." Once I'd managed to reign in my ego somewhat realised it made perfect sense. How does the average guy behave around a girl he PERCEIVE'S to be hot? He's nervous, a bit fidgety, and in general watches his body language to such an extent that he almost appears not to be giving any IOI's.

However, get the average guy a bit drunk and he'll become less inhibited and make his move, usually to be blown out of the water (unless she's already attracted) because his behaviour is so vastly different to what his target is used to. (assuming of course they know each other) Of course if he doesn't know her the average drunk guy will completely overdo it (again, unless she's already attracted) and still get blown out of the water.

So the key for you is to well... hahaha... get yourself into the presence of some slightly tipsy girls and you will really see some IOI's if there are any to be seen. Alternatively take a pivot with you. (female wing) They're the masters of picking up on IOI's.