ShortTimer
Banned
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2002
- Messages
- 917
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I’m submitting this to the Mature forum because of my age, I won’t be offended if it needs to be moved though.
This is one part rant, and one part progress report. I’m trying to say away from the “boo-hoo” angle, so try and ignore that if I do it…
Today I found out what my problem is when it comes to women. Well, it didn’t come as some sudden revelation; it just all seemed to come together for me today. In the past I’ve said “women make me feel empty inside,” and now I know why.
Today I realized that I am invisible to women.
Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t going to be some typical “I was nice to her” post. See, I was at work today when it hit me what was going on and it was with the help of the only other male co-worker I have. He didn’t realize he helped me, in fact he wasn’t even trying; his help was actually accidental.
Here are two important things to know about my job: 1.) I work with all women except for that other guy, and 2.) the public comes in all day and we have to interact with them.
Zach (the other guy) and I will hang together and work together because we are the only two males. We also talk about guy stuff and get along pretty well, so I like the guy and don’t have any grudge against him or anything. I feel I needed to say that for what’s coming next.
Two things happened with the public today that has happened plenty of other times, but for some reason it finally registered with me. The first thing that happened (and it’s happened plenty of times before) is that an attractive girl walks in and needs help. Zach and I are standing together talking, and I’m closer to the door; we both turn and look as the girl walks in. She looks at me, right in the eyes, I smile and am about to greet her when she walks right past me to make moony eyes at Zach and ask for his help instead.
While the other guy I work with can be considered attractive, he’s not super hot. In fact the women I work with, whom are very open about their sexuality, think he’s “all right” but not “hot.”
Now I’m sure you can say that there are plenty of little reasons why the girl would pick him over me that doesn’t reflect badly on me. However, this has happened WAY too many times for it to be some random thing; this has become a daily occurrence.
Moving on, the second thing that happened was that Zach got caught checking out a different cutie that waked in. One of my female co-workers called him on it, just like she has called me on it in the past. The girl overheard and did something that NO girl has EVER done when I was caught. She turned red, giggled and got a big smile on her face. I have either gotten no reaction from chicks or I would get a dirty look.
Please understand that it wasn’t JUST these two things, or just these two times that have made me believe I’m invisible / undesirable. There are plenty of other things that have happened that would take far too long to go into.
Mind you, the examples I’m giving have one thing in common: there was no chance for any “personality” to come out. The first girl’s choice and the second’s reaction were both made with no context to any kind of prior social interaction. Zach and I both dress about the same because of the dress code, so I know it’s not because I’m some kind of slob.
I can only conclude, therefore, that I must be ugly to women. Please don’t take this as some kind of self-loathing or depression induced “the world sucks” mentality. It would appear this is a statement of fact, in the same way that saying “the sky is blue” or “grass is green” is a factual statement about the world around us.
Due to other concerns I have been going to a gym regularly for the last two months. In fact I see my nutritionist tomorrow for a progress update. I have to wonder if things will change when I finally reach my goals. I wonder if in four to six more months if I’ll get different reactions from women. If I don’t, well… then that’ll be it. I don’t think I’d have the motivation to go on. (To go on with the pursuing women thing, just to be clear
)
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s felt this, and I’m writing this in part to see who else is out there and knows what I’m talking about. I’m also writing this as a sort of prelude to my own progress reports. If I force myself to set goals and report my progress here, then I’ll be more motivated to try, and at least I’ll know how close I am to achieving my goals.
I know that I need to focus on the solution and not the problem, what scares me is that I fear this may be one of those problems that doesn’t actually have a solution. Or its solution may be a very ugly one. I know I’m not invisible to ALL women; the ones who “can see me” are women who look like men, or chicks who like to cut themselves or some such; but who really wants to date from that pool as a solution?
This is one part rant, and one part progress report. I’m trying to say away from the “boo-hoo” angle, so try and ignore that if I do it…
Today I found out what my problem is when it comes to women. Well, it didn’t come as some sudden revelation; it just all seemed to come together for me today. In the past I’ve said “women make me feel empty inside,” and now I know why.
Today I realized that I am invisible to women.
Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t going to be some typical “I was nice to her” post. See, I was at work today when it hit me what was going on and it was with the help of the only other male co-worker I have. He didn’t realize he helped me, in fact he wasn’t even trying; his help was actually accidental.
Here are two important things to know about my job: 1.) I work with all women except for that other guy, and 2.) the public comes in all day and we have to interact with them.
Zach (the other guy) and I will hang together and work together because we are the only two males. We also talk about guy stuff and get along pretty well, so I like the guy and don’t have any grudge against him or anything. I feel I needed to say that for what’s coming next.
Two things happened with the public today that has happened plenty of other times, but for some reason it finally registered with me. The first thing that happened (and it’s happened plenty of times before) is that an attractive girl walks in and needs help. Zach and I are standing together talking, and I’m closer to the door; we both turn and look as the girl walks in. She looks at me, right in the eyes, I smile and am about to greet her when she walks right past me to make moony eyes at Zach and ask for his help instead.
While the other guy I work with can be considered attractive, he’s not super hot. In fact the women I work with, whom are very open about their sexuality, think he’s “all right” but not “hot.”
Now I’m sure you can say that there are plenty of little reasons why the girl would pick him over me that doesn’t reflect badly on me. However, this has happened WAY too many times for it to be some random thing; this has become a daily occurrence.
Moving on, the second thing that happened was that Zach got caught checking out a different cutie that waked in. One of my female co-workers called him on it, just like she has called me on it in the past. The girl overheard and did something that NO girl has EVER done when I was caught. She turned red, giggled and got a big smile on her face. I have either gotten no reaction from chicks or I would get a dirty look.
Please understand that it wasn’t JUST these two things, or just these two times that have made me believe I’m invisible / undesirable. There are plenty of other things that have happened that would take far too long to go into.
Mind you, the examples I’m giving have one thing in common: there was no chance for any “personality” to come out. The first girl’s choice and the second’s reaction were both made with no context to any kind of prior social interaction. Zach and I both dress about the same because of the dress code, so I know it’s not because I’m some kind of slob.
I can only conclude, therefore, that I must be ugly to women. Please don’t take this as some kind of self-loathing or depression induced “the world sucks” mentality. It would appear this is a statement of fact, in the same way that saying “the sky is blue” or “grass is green” is a factual statement about the world around us.
Due to other concerns I have been going to a gym regularly for the last two months. In fact I see my nutritionist tomorrow for a progress update. I have to wonder if things will change when I finally reach my goals. I wonder if in four to six more months if I’ll get different reactions from women. If I don’t, well… then that’ll be it. I don’t think I’d have the motivation to go on. (To go on with the pursuing women thing, just to be clear
)I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s felt this, and I’m writing this in part to see who else is out there and knows what I’m talking about. I’m also writing this as a sort of prelude to my own progress reports. If I force myself to set goals and report my progress here, then I’ll be more motivated to try, and at least I’ll know how close I am to achieving my goals.
I know that I need to focus on the solution and not the problem, what scares me is that I fear this may be one of those problems that doesn’t actually have a solution. Or its solution may be a very ugly one. I know I’m not invisible to ALL women; the ones who “can see me” are women who look like men, or chicks who like to cut themselves or some such; but who really wants to date from that pool as a solution?
