Okay I just read this entire thread. First off in my opinion you are all beating this dead horse to death. Second, I think I can find a little truth in many of your opinions.
I look back on my last relationship. I was a selfish ******* most of the time, but sometimes I could turn around and be affectionate and kind. I remember the last time I talked to my ex gf, I asked her (yeah I know) what do you really think about me. She replied "I think you are a selfish *******."
She is honestly a 6 in the face, but great body, big tits for a chinese girl.
How was I a selfish *******? Because, I was always trying to smoke weed, drink, do pills, a couple of times to coke. I literally was driven by my motivation to get fvcked up, I never lied to her about getting fvcked up, she always knew when I got alcohol, or drugs. I was doing whatever I wanted and I was honest about that, she didn't like it but she still waited and waited for me to change.
I would also say mean sh!t to her, and a couple times I put my hands on her, she could have honestly had me locked up, and probably criminal charges (I didn't beat the **** out of her, but still it was wrong, and would have been enough to land me in jail.)
This girl is now a phd. I know a lot about her, and honestly she was pretty good to me, but her expectations were way to high, unreasonable, and She expect me to do it for her.
I would spend this girls money all the time. There was a point where she literately told me to keep the credit card her dad gave her in my wallet. And near the end, she wanted to have a joint bank account, and guess what I didn't have money, she did...
I kept giving her hope that I was going to deliver on my promises, and I think I meant to, but I had a drive to get fvcked up.
But honestly, I owned her, untill she got fed up with my behavior, which in all honestly, had the tables been turned I never would have let some one treat me that way.
Was it alpha of me? I would say no. I should have behaved more honorably. Honestly, this girl is a decent person (for a woman) and she works her ass of in school, she is a productive member of society, and she doesn't exploit her orbiters (not that I know of).
This girl one time was hinting to me to get her some sort of 7 dollar ring from goodwill. I never did but I bet you she would have been happy for a couple weeks if I just bought one for her. Even if I used her money. I never bought gifts. Once i bought a card for her birthday, she was extremely grateful.
But I milked that cow for two years, and got away (figuratively) with murder for that long.
Honestly, I think I behaved kind of sadistically (at times) and almost evil, perhaps.
I think that nothing is absolute. People are unique, however in general, on a basic level women respond to the same things.
Oh also, she used to threaten to leave me all the time and I would be like fine there is the door, and point at it, then I would ignore her. One time she packed her bags, sat on them and cried. I looked over and said "hey I thought you were going, the door is right there."
Not proud of it, I'm just telling you my experience, and how she responded.