Honor and respect her feelings.
But also honor and respect yours as well.
Stay true to your values, and preferences and maintain integrity.
Mean what you say, and do what you say you will do.
A man needs to be independent and self sufficient enough to handle if a woman is feeling insecure and needs reassurance.
Even though she is feeling insecure, it doesnt mean you have to as well.
She will be counting on you to have that internal strength and independence, and not be rocked by her reactions.
Women are wired to check for our strength, and if its not there, they just wont want to stay long.
And be careful of not answering questions.
Being too evasive looks insecure and looks like youre hiding something. Coming across as too shady brings that level of trust even lower.
Answer honestly and be strong and aligned with your answer.
Its not up to you to be responsible with how SHE feels about it.
So you might as well answer honestly when you know it will bring peace and harmony to your relationship.
Relationships need to be maintained, and killing off intimacy like that means making her become more and more distant to you and more mistrustful.
You dont have to reveal everything you know.
But be careful of having to walk on egg shells for her. As much as possible begin the process of letting that kind of perspective go.
You arent responsible for her perception filters, so dont get all panicky about how she may react to you.
Ultimately, your frame must be stronger than anyone else's. And you must be comfortable and confident in YOUR choices.
Let her deal with them how she wants.
You have to be prepared with her not liking your choice and perhaps even ending things and walking away.
But in a commited exclusive LTR, not maintaining that kind of emotional intimacy is the quickest way to kill a relationship with a woman.
When a woman cant feel safe with you, you will see the relationship suffer.
And that means that you will see her pull away and not be trusting of you.
If you love her and want her, thats not what you want, right?
So as part of women's needs, being there emotionally, and being supportive, giving advice when appropriate and listening as well are crucial needs that they will expect in their LTR partner.
Why would she be with you if she feels invisible to you?
If you hear her, but dont listen?
If you dont listen , she will feel that you dont care and dont value her.
And if you dont care or value her, why should she stay with you?
When we dont want to 'hear about her problems' or whatever, it creates a massive chasm between partners. And it hits right into the very heart of how women operate.
Theres a lot of fear about being the emotional tampon, but that comes from AFC guys who were trying to 'be there' for women whom were not attracted to these guys at all, and they were trying to relate ( identify even) to her as a woman, to get her to like him and approve and accept them. We all know how well that works, right?
The not being an emoional tampon reaction comes from men trying to get back at those women who previously hurt them. Because theyre now trying to assert their personal boundaries and protect their resources in an immature and crude way. Its about going to the other extreme.
But thats still fear based behavior.
What a lot of guys dont understand is that a lot of women dont want you to relate to her as another woman. They want you to relate to her AS HER MAN.
And because so many men dont KNOW HOW to relate to her as her Man, they just try to cut it off altogether.
So whats happening here is that a lot of men just think its ok to be apathetic, and lazy and not want to 'be there' for their woman. And they somehow delude themselves that theyre being manly. But theyre killing their relationship actually, and women feel like their men dont have the emotional maturity to handle them. Thus, bringing about that constant harping a lot of women do about men being little boys, and immature, and yada yada...
You can listen to her and relate to her intimately about all sorts of things without being an emotional tampon. If she loves you and respects you, she wil value that she CAN speak to you about these things and wont think of her as some crazy b*tch or whatever, and that you can handle the emotionl turmoil that so many other men previously have just run away from.
If you love her, do you really want to just check out and run away from her?
Is that the way YOU would like her to be with YOU?
"Honey, Im concerned about....
"Not now, dear. Im busy doing my nails. And please,dont talk to me about your life or those stupid problems of yours, mkay?? "
Nice, huh?
Remember,SHE's the one who has the responsibilty for appreciating you and for you giving her that SPACE that she KNOWS she NEEDS from you.
And if she doesnt, you dont give that to her anymore.
Also, understand that this is how women want to 'feel' us.
They want to feel our Masculinity in these types of intimate environments.Its something special they know they CANNOT get from any of her girl friends and any of her guy friends.
She finds herself through you.
She feels her femeninity when you display your masculinity in this kind of intimacy. And when you DO THAT, she feels all is right in the world.
"At the end of the day I know my Man is a MAN."
So yes, she may stretch your limits.
(remember, dont wish it was easier, wish you were better.)
But understand, if you want an LTR, then this is part of the territory with women. Women have NEEDS. Expect that. And her needs may not be identical to yours. And if you feel YOUR needs have been met, it does not mean that HERS were too.
Ideally, yes, of course you would like your woman not to nitpick and INTERROGATE you every chance she gets or strain you , especially when you need her to give YOU the Space.
Hopefully, she will have a little self control.
This is what WE NEED as Men.
Sometimes we DO need her to give US our Space too.
And for her to get some composure. Especially when we're asking her to.
But you will have a higher chance of getting your needs met when you take the time and effort to understand how she operates, and what her needs are, and make the effort to meet them.
Relationships need to be maintained. Remember that.
