Womanspeak 4! Her vs The Hamster!

[5string]

Let's have some fun. What does she really mean?

Her...I have never had group sex!
Hamster...Except for the 3 guys that made me air tight at the hotel.

Her...I have only been with 7 guys!
Hamster...Simple math dvmbass. Multiply by 8. Now gimme a treat.

Her...I have never had sex with another woman!
Hamster...I licked my GF's puzzy, but that's not really considered sex!

Her...Oh, I don't know. Whatever you want to do.
Hamster...I don't know WTF to do and couldn't find my a$$ with both hands!

Her...I have a headache!
Hamster...Either, 1) I don't want to fvck you, or 2)I have been spinning all day and am so fvckin' dizzy from my estrogen fueled emotions I may have to go to the vet.

Her...Should I wear a bra tonight when we go out?
Hamster...The guys at the club are gonna love this cleavage and these nipples! I love the attention!

Her...I went out with a guy who had a really nice car!
Hamster...I sucked this guys meat whistle in the back of a BMW last Friday!

Her...Let's go to the pet store and look at those cute little hamsters!
Hamster...I'm dead now. Spun out of my wheel and broke my fvckin' neck!

Feel free to jump on this. Entertainment purposes only.

 

[Mike32ct]

Her: "It's what's on the inside that counts."

Hamster: "I'm all about looks. What's on his OUTSIDE determines whether I'll let him INSIDE."


Her: "How long was your longest relationship?"

Hamster: "What is the longest you've gone before she dumped your a$s for somebody better?"


Her: "It doesn't matter to me."

Hamster: "It's a deal breaker."


Her: "My girlfriends like my new bf."

Hamster: "They said he was the only guy in our incestuous social circle (or workplace) that was good in the sack."

 

[5string]

Not bad Mike32ct!

 

[ArcBound]

Her: Stop making fun of me! That's not nice >:[
Hamster: Pick on me more or I'll stop talking to you! No one has done this to me before!

Her: It's fine!
Hamster: It's not fine and I'm going to be passive aggressive towards you for the next few days. I'll also bring this up during any argument we have you inconsiderate jerk!

Her: Can you do X for me/Asks for some sort of information out of you/Wants anything from you she can easily do herself
Hamster: If you help me I will see you as suchhhhh a nice guy! And one I probably won't fvck!

Her: I'm not that kind of woman!
Hamster: I am definitely that kind of woman !

Her: You are SUCH a jerk!
Hamster: I love you, let's make love. Live laugh love <33333

 

[DJDamage]

Her: I hate players, never dating those type of a-holes ever again!
Hamster: I love the rush and excitment they give me!

Her: I am not sure about this week, call me.
Hamster: I may be doing something better or hoping to go out with a hotter guy this week but if I don't I may choose to go with you because it sure beats staying home.

Her: I don't play games.
Hamster: The games just begun buddy!

Her: you'r mean!
Hamster: ask me out already!

Her: I saw my ex this week with another woman, glad that jerk isn't in my life no more!
Hamster: I wish I was that woman.

Her: what do you think of my friend Mary?!
Hamster: Is she hotter then I am?!

Her: oh i'm just going to hang out with my coworker I told you about (Steve) after work.
Hamster: I am going to cheat on you.

Her: I just got out of a long relationship so I want to take things slow.
Hamster: You are never going to see me naked.

 

[Tortendieb]

Why a hamster?

 

[Audiophile]

Her:You're like a brother to me!
Hamster: Seeing you naked would only be slightly more disgusting than incest with my actual brother.

Her: Maybe
Hamster: No.

Her: Why don't you have a girlfriend?
Hamster: Why aren't I your girlfriend?

Her: I don't have any plans this weekend
Hamster: I want you to ask me out, RIGHT NOW.

Her: I'll call you the day before to confirm (Or anything like this)
Hamster: You're just another option I'm keeping open that I can not feel guilty flaking on at any time.

Her: Am I fat?
Hamster: Tell me how beautiful I am.

Her: Are you gay?
Hamster: Why aren't you attracted to me? (She will get self-conscious about her womanly charms at this point).

 

[Mike32ct]

Why a hamster?

It is a joke. SS guys believe that women have a running hamster for a brain. It does seem that way sometimes lol.

 

[Mike32ct]

Her: I'm tired of the bar/club scene.

Hamster: I'm not tired of hooking up. I'll just booty text some guy I already know and him come over.


Her: I have standards you know.

Hamster: I only want to date guys three points hotter.


Her: I don't date where I work.

Hamster: I just sleep with people from work.


Her: I want a guy who is xyz. <Insert anything like confident, funny, successful, interesting, etc.>

Hamster: I want a HOT guy who is xyz.