Woman reveals why men cheat.

[El Payaso]

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

She knows what's up

 

[wifehunter]

so glad, I'm still single...I'd hate to spend my life with 'The Blob'.

ho ho ho!!!

 

[Fruitbat]

I hate black panties and red are a close second.

Give me a white thong any day.

 

[rivernorth]

not true. basically, she is saying if you control YOUR actions (stay slaying) then you control HIS actions (he won't cheat). there are many different reasons for cheating-- some you can prevent by maintaining a good relationship with your actions-- but there are cheating reasons you can never prevent if a man has a temperament for that....like adrenaline junkie, thrill of the chase, perhaps enjoys the shame/excitement of being caught....

the best list of "preventable cheating types" vs "non-preventable cheating types" is from sydney biddle barrows book "just between us girls".... she was the mayflower madame in nyc so she saw lots of cheating behavior in her clients. she is the real expert on that.

also she was in nyc so her clients were often highly successful, highly sexed, high risk/reward types..... who may never have the temperament to be faithful. it's naive to think you can control others through your actions.

 

[MatureDJ]

The jazz age pop classic "Wives & Lovers" is basically about this.

 

[marmel75]

not true. basically, she is saying if you control YOUR actions (stay slaying) then you control HIS actions (he won't cheat). there are many different reasons for cheating-- some you can prevent by maintaining a good relationship with your actions-- but there are cheating reasons you can never prevent if a man has a temperament for that....like adrenaline junkie, thrill of the chase, perhaps enjoys the shame/excitement of being caught....

the best list of "preventable cheating types" vs "non-preventable cheating types" is from sydney biddle barrows book "just between us girls".... she was the mayflower madame in nyc so she saw lots of cheating behavior in her clients. she is the real expert on that.

also she was in nyc so her clients were often highly successful, highly sexed, high risk/reward types..... who may never have the temperament to be faithful. it's naive to think you can control others through your actions.

To an extent I agree...marriage for males is against all natural urges. Males urges are to go bang as many women as possible.

Women used marriage in previous generations and throughout history as a means to allowing men access to sex for access to safety and security.

Today, since it's so easy to have sex with women without marriage, there is little to no incentive for guys to get married as there was in the past.

Nowhere in nature does a male species have sex with only one female. Researchers have found even in previously thought animals that "mated for life" both the male and female strayed sexually even if they stayed together.

So the reason a man cheats is because it's in our nature and DNA to want to bang lots of women. For a while we can fight it and overcome it but the longer we fight it the stronger the urge grows. Until one day we can't fight it anymore.

Who does it benefit most if a male stays married with one woman all their life? The woman. Her value consistently decreases while the man's value consistently increases.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

not true. basically, she is saying if you control YOUR actions (stay slaying) then you control HIS actions (he won't cheat). there are many different reasons for cheating-- some you can prevent by maintaining a good relationship with your actions-- but there are cheating reasons you can never prevent if a man has a temperament for that....like adrenaline junkie, thrill of the chase, perhaps enjoys the shame/excitement of being caught....

the best list of "preventable cheating types" vs "non-preventable cheating types" is from sydney biddle barrows book "just between us girls".... she was the mayflower madame in nyc so she saw lots of cheating behavior in her clients. she is the real expert on that.

also she was in nyc so her clients were often highly successful, highly sexed, high risk/reward types..... who may never have the temperament to be faithful. it's naive to think you can control others through your actions.

Some folks are prone to cheating because they put themselves in the situations and are in the moment and entertained by it all. So it really is no consideration for fidelity. If you know you wouldn't cheat you wouldn't even position yourself in certain situations.

 

[rivernorth]

To an extent I agree...marriage for males is against all natural urges. Males urges are to go bang as many women as possible.

agree. there was this psychology study (apologies that I can't source it, I read it a while ago) it was showing men a pretty girl crying in a corner (vulnerable state) and their desire to have sex with her went up compared to a girl in a non-vulnerable state and their desire to have a relationship with her went down. pro-sex/anti-relationship. a dual mating strategy of banging a lot of woman (children may or may not be yours) and having a trustworthy mate where the likelihood of the child being the man's increases.

Women used marriage in previous generations and throughout history as a means to allowing men access to sex for access to safety and security.

yes, protection. also it benefits the man to increase the odds that progeny are his own.

Today, since it's so easy to have sex with women without marriage, there is little to no incentive for guys to get married as there was in the past.

to me, it's about being happy. I don't think everyone needs to get married and/or have children. children are a major time sink and society has a lot of problems which most parents are too preoccupied to address. it's ironic because they are too busy raising children to build a healthy society in which their children can live....

Nowhere in nature does a male species have sex with only one female. Researchers have found even in previously thought animals that "mated for life" both the male and female strayed sexually even if they stayed together.

interesting. nature finds a way.....

So the reason a man cheats is because it's in our nature and DNA to want to bang lots of women. For a while we can fight it and overcome it but the longer we fight it the stronger the urge grows. Until one day we can't fight it anymore.

barrows book is really interesting on the topic of cheating. certainly, sex is a need for most men and if that need is not met..... it can get to the point where it must be solved one way or another. barrows perspective on her cheating clients was that some of the reasons were extrinsic (that existing external relationships were bad) and some of it was intrinsic (some men just like cheating or having multiple partners no matter what).....

Who does it benefit most if a male stays married with one woman all their life? The woman. Her value consistently decreases while the man's value consistently increases.

to me, it really is about being happy. some men value stability. some men value variety. to each their own.

when kurt warner was recently inducted into the football hall of fame, he was ecstatic that his wife brenda was there to speak on his behalf. he loved that through his football journey with highs and lows that she was with him every step of the way. she understood his experiences at a truly deep level. he was showing off the steel welded trophy that she made for him to celebrate his HOF honor. she made him her own trophy.... which was cute.

not everyone finds such a good match in a partner or even wants that type of relationship..... but to dismiss long-term marriages as something no man wants isn't accurate.

 

[rivernorth]

Some folks are prone to cheating because they put themselves in the situations and are in the moment and entertained by it all. So it really is no consideration for fidelity. If you know you wouldn't cheat you wouldn't even position yourself in certain situation.

yes, opportunity is definitely a factor.

auditing is an interesting branch of accounting because it deals with the psychology of stealing money. they have "segregation of duties".... which is the practice that one person doesn't handle all the money records because it is too tempting to steal the money. multiple people handle the money records to minimize that situation.

There are four general categories of duties or responsibilities which are examined when segregation of duties are discussed: authorization, custody, record keeping and reconciliation. ... In those instances where duties cannot be fully segregated, mitigating or compensating controls must be established.

people are impulsive creatures. lol don't take the money. don't take the pussay. just chill out.

 

[marmel75]

not everyone finds such a good match in a partner or even wants that type of relationship..... but to dismiss long-term marriages as something no man wants isn't accurate.

Yes, when a woman shows you she is with you in your lowest points that means a lot to most guys...that is hard to find. Really, woman or man it doesn't matter...my Dad always used to tell me the one good things that come out of the darkest times of your life is you will find out who are your true friends and who are not. Often times you'll be surprised by the outcomes, but it really gives you clarity into the people you should be associating with and the ones you shouldn't have in your life anymore.

 

[rivernorth]

Really, woman or man it doesn't matter...my Dad always used to tell me the one good things that come out of the darkest times of your life is you will find out who are your true friends and who are not. Often times you'll be surprised by the outcomes, but it really gives you clarity into the people you should be associating with and the ones you shouldn't have in your life anymore.

that's true. it's kind of like prospecting for gold. during the good times, you have a full pan of sand/ gold (acquaintances/ true friends) and during the difficult times you are shaking out the pan. a lot falls away, but what remains is gold.