Woman on Huffington Post throws down the Gauntlet against single middle aged women

[backbreaker]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html

oh snap


I can't disagree with one word she said. Also there is a dude in the comment section putting in work.

 

[betheman]

great stuff, well done that woman

 

[omkara]

I strongly disagree with this:

"Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married -- but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife."

Here she basically displays some of the same qualities that she is calling her sisters out for.

However, she did have some good insights. The part about women wanting a man better than her because of the emptiness inside was very perceptive. Imagine that, a woman capable of original thought! I guess they are capable of it if they ever got their face out of their cell phones. lol

 

[typical]

Imagine that, a woman capable of original thought! I guess they are capable of it if they ever got their face out of their cell phones. lol

That line has made my day man LOL

 

[LeftyLoosey]

This article had so much promise, but her explanations are off. Her subtitles are quite accurate, though:

1) You're a B1tch

I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married -- but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife.

Omkara already hit on this one. WTF? Men don't like b1tches because they're insecure? Incorrect. They don't like b1tiches because NO ONE likes b1tches. The last thing you need after spending all day at work, dealing with boss number one, is to come home and have to deal with boss number two.

2) You're Shallow

She got this one right.

3) You're a Slut

... if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long.

She's saying that the reason why you shouldn't sleep around is because you might become attached, and that's what's preventing you from getting married. That doesn't make any sense. The real reason why sleeping around is preventing you from getting married is because men don't want to marry women who sleep around, for obvious reasons.

4) You're a Liar

You know if you tell him the truth -- that you're ready for marriage -- he will stop calling.

So, by this logic, if she told the guy that she wanted to get married, it would improve her chances? The problem isn't being a liar, it's hooking up with alphas instead of providers. This has nothing to do with being a liar, but a lot to do with being a slut (see previous).

5) You're Selfish

...if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.

Umm, that's great advice. Go get knocked up first, and then find yourself a man to take care of you and your baby. Is she insane?

6) You're Not Good Enough

Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don't know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won't love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.

What is this Dr. Phil crap? I don't even know what this means. What she should have said here is that "women who don't know their worth don't realize how low their sexual market value actually is. They should be focusing on realistic prospects instead of trying to marry young, good-looking, wealthy males who have their pick of the litter."

---

Sorry backbreaker, but his article is crap. She ALMOST told the femi-nazis the truth, but she wasn't able to pull the trigger. It came across as yet another beat-around-the-bush, motivational, feminist rant that just didn't hit the mark. How could a thrice-divorced woman claim to know anything about marriage? That's like getting your financial advice from someone who's been bankrupt three times.

 

[spider_007]

I can't disagree with one word she said.

how about this little gem:

Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: *****, hello! It's not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say -- if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly.

 

[Noodles]

I think a lot of you are reading a little too much into this regarding the article's 'failings'. It's written by a woman, for women, in '********'. You're not meant to understand it exactly - it's not aimed at you.

It's somewhat tongue in cheek too at points. Try to relax, guys...

 

[squirrels]

This So, by this logic, if she told the guy that she wanted to get married, it would improve her chances?

No, but it WOULD filter out men who didn't see a "long-term future" with her pretty quickly.

Umm, that's great advice. Go get knocked up first, and then find yourself a man to take care of you and your baby. Is she insane?

Yeah...that's the one big thing that rubbed me the wrong way in this article. Children should not be used to prepare a woman for marriage...while that may be effective, the impact on the child needs to be respected. Plus, having a baby already does NOT make you a better target for "men of character".

Sorry backbreaker, but his article is crap. She ALMOST told the femi-nazis the truth, but she wasn't able to pull the trigger. It came across as yet another beat-around-the-bush, motivational, feminist rant that just didn't hit the mark. How could a thrice-divorced woman claim to know anything about marriage? That's like getting your financial advice from someone who's been bankrupt three times.

I have to agree with this...there was a LOT of truth in the article, but she stops short of getting to the REAL heart of the matter. She instead throws in a healthy dose of traditional feminist wisdom...probably to avoid alienating her audience entirely.

 

[backbreaker]

I think a lot of you are reading a little too much into this regarding the article's 'failings'. It's written by a woman, for women, in '********'. You're not meant to understand it exactly - it's not aimed at you.

It's somewhat tongue in cheek too at points. Try to relax, guys...

Exactly.

What is this Dr. Phil crap? I don't even know what this means. What she should have said here is that "women who don't know their worth don't realize how low their sexual market value actually is. They should be focusing on realistic prospects instead of trying to marry young, good-looking, wealthy males who have their pick of the litter."

]

What do you mean you don't understand this, it's what we preach here all day long. Women have unrealistic expectations in 1. their value and 2. what they are able to attract and keep. I dont' see what is so hard to understand about that.

A woman who is a decent looking 36 year old woman with a job and a little debt, needs to be trying to snag a decent looking 36 year old man with a job, and a little debt, not trying to snag either the 44 year old boss who works out everyday and makes 4 times what she makes, or the 27 year old extremely good looking musician who has woman throwing panties at him left and right. This is the same woman who will ask where are all the good men, i can't find one, but there are good men all around her, she probably even rejects them often, because they don't fit her standards, while not realizing she doesn't fit her catches standards either.

 

[DanelMadr]

Ehm, I think this article is just a cry for the sake of the Nice Guys. "Hey girls, if you are old and not so attractive enough, let's settle for the nice guy and don't be so hard on him." Sure it got all the Nice Guys all cheering up in the article comment section...."Yeah settle down for us."

The truth is most people, men and women are shallow, selfish, spoiled bytches. They are just immature. I don't blame women they are not impressed what they see around....I am not impressed. Being a Nice Guy is a psychological handicap - these guys do have issues and living with them is boring and tiring, especially for women who need to be taken care of by guy calling the shots (with few exception of dominant women who prefer security in relationship over giving up the responsibility).

It was the same 80 years ago. And don't think that generation of our grandfathers was different. Not so much, anyway. Only difference was, that people were forced to get married. By lack of the pill or because it would be shameful not to be married or because girls couldn't support themselves or because there was f@ck else to do...not so much of travel etc.

Feminists were right about changing all that. Yes, it brings a lot of friction but it also weeds out the weak ones. Let only the mature ones have kids. Our planet is overpopulated anyway. Even the north (west) hemisphere is overpopulated thanks to better health care and nutrition.

 

[squirrels]

The truth is most people, men and women are shallow, selfish, spoiled bytches. They are just immature. I don't blame women they are not impressed what they see around....I am not impressed. Being a Nice Guy is a psychological handicap - these guys do have issues and living with them is boring and tiring, especially for women who need to be taken care of by guy calling the shots (with few exception of dominant women who prefer security in relationship over giving up the responsibility).

It was the same 80 years ago. And don't think that generation of our grandfathers was different. Not so much, anyway. Only difference was, that people were forced to get married. By lack of the pill or because it would be shameful not to be married or because girls couldn't support themselves or because there was f@ck else to do...not so much of travel etc.

Feminists were right about changing all that. Yes, it brings a lot of friction but it also weeds out the weak ones. Let only the mature ones have kids. Our planet is overpopulated anyway. Even the north (west) hemisphere is overpopulated thanks to better health care and nutrition.

All true. The problem is that the the shallow, selfish, spoiled people are the ones with nothing to do in life, so they're the ones who end up f**king the most and thus the ones who end up breeding the most.

I remember seeing a skit on Comedy Central...forget what show it was...that helped explain why only stupid people are breeding.

 

[sodbuster]

Think the movie was "idiocracy"

 

[5string]

backbreaker

Interesting read. The one thing that just screams out to me here is:

expiration date

Poor thing looking at her happy pal, walking down the everlasting road of marital happiness thinking to herself, "is it too late for me"?

She has realized under this scenario that she has either reached her expiration date, or pretty close to it.

 

[Mr.Positive]

5) You're SelfishUmm, that's great advice. Go get knocked up first, and then find yourself a man to take care of you and your baby. Is she insane?.

Yeah, that jumped out at me too. That has to be the worst advise I've ever read.

The author's problem, is making too many assumptions about 'men of character'. I consider myself one for many reasons, however she assumes that to be a man of character the man must be willing to jump into a marriage with a gal who has kids already.

I don't want to get married. The only reason I see for getting married is to have kids of my own, why would I want to raise another man's child? That's his job, not mine.

I don't consider that being selfish, but smart. The world is overpopulated anyway. A lot of people have kids for selfish reasons, to "complete themselves". Heck, even the author suggests having kids to snag a husband, how is that not selfish?

I think backbreaker makes a good point, if a gal is 36 has a decent job, no debt, she should be looking for the same in a man. Lot's of men like that out there.

The bottom line, is that every person who is single needs to look in the mirror occasionally. They are single because of themselves. It really is that simple. People, mostly women, though always want to over analyze things and place too many requirements that keeps them from living life to the fullest.

They created their own cage. Then complain to the world when they in fact are the ones that willingly created that cage, and climbed in it themselves.

 

[backbreaker]

The ironies of all ironies, they need to read pook's post about, crap I forgot the title, but in essence what he is saying is that, we can all get get laid, RIGHT NOW. the problem is, we can't get laid by who we want to get laid, we chose to be single.

These woman, can all get married rihgt now. It just would not be to men they find desirable IN other words, the question is being framed wrong. The question should not be, why can't I get married, the question should be what can't I find a man that I find desirable to marry me? When you frame the question in the way that, why can't you get married. Well ovbiously the probelm is men because nothing is wrong with me. But when you frame the question, there are guys that would marry me, but I would not marry them, but the guys that I want to marry, dont' want to marry me, you will get a much more honest answer.

You guys are looking into this of the context that the author is a 4 year member of sosuave with 5 thousand posts. Of course she isn't going to hit everything on the nail, first because she's a she, and second because she doesn't come here, and this is all we do.

But do you not agree that stop being a ****, look in the damn mirror, stop being a hoe, stop being so damn selfish and stop lying all the time, are all not general talking points here about women? Who cares if her explanations are somewhat off, the point is made. I think is most women stopped being a ****, looked in the mirror every once in a while, stop hoeing around, stopped being so selfish and stopped lying all the time, they would have a hell of an easier time finding LTR/marriage, regardless of the rationale behind doing it.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Men are "terrified of angry women, because men are insecure and intimidated by them"?! Only a femisite of the deepest order, masquerading as some prophetess of female awareness, could be so blatantly retarded.

I'm glad everyone else caught this festering turd of a train of thought.

The only women for a man to "fear" are the ones who like to call the cops when they don't get their way. And it's not so much that you fear them, as you avoid them. That aside, just don't knock them up and you are cruisin' in the sun.

 

[DanelMadr]

Men are "terrified of angry women, because men are insecure and intimidated by them"?! Only a femisite of the deepest order, masquerading as some prophetess of female awareness, could be so blatantly retarded.

I'm glad everyone else caught this festering turd of a train of thought.

The only women for a man to "fear" are the ones who like to call the cops when they don't get their way. And it's not so much that you fear them, as you avoid them. That aside, just don't knock them up and you are cruisin' in the sun.

I suppose she rather meant that Women should stop being so hard on guys, demanding for the man to take initiative, action, lead etc and nag when he doesn't. Nice Guys are intimidated by women for exactly this reason. Their insecurities show when women shyt test them by being hostile and angry.
I suppose she is urging women to be less dominant and *****y. And I believe it is exactly what women need these days. Be more feminine. Many times I was put of by insensitive shyt tests and lack of good manners or by her trying to command me. So unattractive.

I can assure you when you come across a real feminine woman - looks good, smells good and does not behave like a sailor or general, it makes you want to cuddle her, protect her and ravage her :] Unless one is submissive bytch who loves when woman takes the charge. And I am telling you, there is lots of those guys and not only thanks to them being lazy.

 

[DanelMadr]

All true. The problem is that the the shallow, selfish, spoiled people are the ones with nothing to do in life, so they're the ones who end up f**king the most and thus the ones who end up breeding the most.

I remember seeing a skit on Comedy Central...forget what show it was...that helped explain why only stupid people are breeding.

And that is why this site teaches us to not get bothered about those other people. We live our own lives and since we are living in a free society we can choose how we live it.

Stupid people breed more because they exhausted all other options. No career, no money for travel. And it gives them a purpose in life. He /she is nobody but at least a parent. I don't blame them. Only problem is social welfare when people have 5+ kids and clearly can't afford it but the social state (YOU) pays for that.
It is a problem in Netherlands, Belgium, France and all western Europe with Arab "minority". They are poor, loud and grow. Neonazis rise thanks to that and offer dangerous solutions. But all it takes is: "Pay for your own choices."

In Third world having a child is actually a pro. They can work on the field and they will take care of you when you are old. But in the west having a child is expensive. It won't work till 25. And when you retire it won't take care of you.

 

[englishman]

Exactly.


]



A woman who is a decent looking 36 year old woman with a job and a little debt, needs to be trying to snag a decent looking 36 year old man with a job, and a little debt, not trying to snag either the 44 year old boss who works out everyday and makes 4 times what she makes, or the 27 year old extremely good looking musician who has woman throwing panties at him left and right. This is the same woman who will ask where are all the good men, i can't find one, but there are good men all around her, she probably even rejects them often, because they don't fit her standards, while not realizing she doesn't fit her catches standards either.

Men do their version of this sh1t too. Baggy Khaki pants, fat gut and crappy hairstyle, no game and says all women are biotches and can't appreciate a 'good' man etc...

I agree with other guy on here somewhere. The women who wrote this did a good job and we weren't the target audience so 'relax' its entertainment.

 

[Nutz]

backbreaker

Interesting read. The one thing that just screams out to me here is:

expiration date

Poor thing looking at her happy pal, walking down the everlasting road of marital happiness thinking to herself, "is it too late for me"?

She has realized under this scenario that she has either reached her expiration date, or pretty close to it.

Also known as the Wild E Coyote moment.