Woman is confusing the hek out of me

[mrcloudsurfer]

Ok, I signed up to this site after being driven nuts by a girl that I've been mostly texting with and sometimes talking on the phone with every single day for the past 3 months.

Here is the situation: I've known this girl for 5 years on a professional level and starting about 5 months ago she made it very obvious that she wanted to get to know me more..

I asked her out on a date and after the date she texted me afterwards telling me "I can't wait for the next one!" I have to say before the date we texted every day and I played it very cool never acting like I was crazy about her but rather just a nice fun guy(I've heard the term NC used.. what does this mean?). She is an extremely beautiful girl who guys trip all over themselves to try and be with.. and I didn't want to be one of those guys.

So after the first date the texting was getting ridiculous and she was texting me 20 plus times a day asking me trivial questions or just saying hi. As much as I'm attracted and like this girl I was getting annoyed by all the texts so I tried to call her more. Every time we talked on the phone she sounded half interested... yet right afterwards the texts would continue. This bugged me so much that I flaked on our second date even though I am very attracted to her and a part of me wants to be with her (but my brain says run.. that in the long-term it will be a disaster).

To make a long story short... we had an amazing 8 hour phone conversation last weekend in which we laughed, cried, and spilled all of our secrets to each other... Since then she has gone cold on me... and I certainly haven't been chasing her or being pathetic but here is the weird thing... She texts me every single morning and texts good night every single night... but beyond that she has shown absolutely no interest.. why would she text me every morning and night if she's not interested? Yet other than those texts.. she has pretty much written me off.. thanks for all the feed back!

 

[Tictac]

Fugitize.

Do not contact her. Wait for her to call you.

Forever if necessary.

 

[cervantesscthree]

NC means no contact.

And my advice on yr situation, it's already lost, invest in someone new . . . Get dafuq away from this woman ASAP motherfuqer, ASAP

 

[nismo-4]

Let Judge nismo give you a proper verdict.

Lesson 1: Women who are interested in you won't confuse you.

Lesson 2: Constant texting is something that girlfriends do. You are in the friendzone, so she's keeping you around for ATTENTION PURPOSES ONLY.

Lesson 3: NC= No Contact (going ghost).

Lesson 4: Spin plates always.

Why did you keep calling this girl? That's called chasing. Bad. And yes, that's making you one of those guys. She's interested in you as a text/ phone buddy (friendzone) and nothing more. Your princess is in another castle. You need to drop her ass and see if she shows sexual interest. Call her bluff. If she insists on texting, block her and find another girl. That's my ruling.

Case closed. Have a nice day.

 

[mr. kennedy]

I never understood the texting as being friendzone. As far as I'm concerned, if a woman is texting you, she is thinking about you and is interested. If the texts are flirty and not boring, I don't see it as a bad thing. Actions speak louder than words...if she's taking the time to text back and initiating, I see it as high interest level.

 

[Cremasta]

Maybe she gets unlimited free texts on her phone plan?

Some people just get a little thrill when they hear a text come through on their phone... a social proof kinda thing.

 

[foreverAFC]

To make a long story short... we had an amazing 8 hour phone conversation last weekend in which we laughed, cried, and spilled all of our secrets to each other... Since then she has gone cold on me... and I certainly haven't been chasing her or being pathetic but here is the weird thing... She texts me every single morning and texts good night every single night... but beyond that she has shown absolutely no interest.. why would she text me every morning and night if she's not interested? Yet other than those texts.. she has pretty much written me off.. thanks for all the feed back!

you dont do this, you are now the gay friend/emotional tampon guy

 

[cervantesscthree]

Lesson 2: Constant texting is something that girlfriends do. You are in the friendzone, so she's keeping you around for ATTENTION PURPOSES ONLY.

Hold on, I came across a girl I wasn't with, just FBs, and she constantly txted and called me, so, is that necessarily a GF trait? Or do all official GFs call and text you all the time, and if so why is that?

 

[PlayHer Man]

Welcome to the friendzone / Orbiter club. :crackup: :crackup:

Wow man.. you did just about EVERYTHING wrong. Women want to date and f*ck MEN.. not other women. You acted like an emotional, wimpy, a-sexual nice guy. So of course she lost interest.

I'm going to simplify this as much as possible:

The FIRST order of business when you realize you are sexually attracted to a girl is trying to f*ck her. Leave the emo, bonding, pillow talk crap for the girl. Your job as the man is f*cking her and f*cking her good. Period.. NO exceptions.

Once you've f*cked her you know she is serious. You KNOW she is actually attracted and not just after attention, money, therapy, connections or any of the other hundreds of things women use men for. So always f*ck first and analyze later.

If you can't f*ck a girl or even french kiss her within the first 2 weeks of seeing her then she is most likely a tease or very religious. So that would make her a waste of time. At which point you stop all analysis and bail.

This is the proper way to play the game. Playing it any other way gives the woman too much power.

 

[Purefilth]

Nismo -4 And Play her man beat me to it.

OP just realise - that although you may not like the lessons learned here, if you follow the advice and stick around and read a bit - you will change and grow as a man.


Welcome

 

[mrcloudsurfer]

Thanks for the advice guys

To Playher man,

I know what you say is true for most woman, however I have found there are some rare gems that appreciate a connection emotionally before sexually. I agree with you though that your formula will work for most woman. In this particular case.. this girl all but professed her love for me through our many conversations and texts even before ever going on a second date. I didn't respond as I wasn't wanting to jump into a relationship with both feet as this girl seemed to want to do.

Looking back I think where I really went wrong with this girl was opening up way too much rather than just spending time with her keeping it light and fun... that was my big mistake and I'm sure we'd be deep into things by now had I done that. My brain still says I dodged some major drama with this girl (especially her being my coworker), but still.. wow is she hot.. not meant to be on this one.

I have always been the total gentleman Mr. Nice guy and have been able to get away with it to some extent because of having a good career and staying physically fit.. but beyond these assets.. I have no game.. I hope to learn fast as I'm getting a very late start (I was stuck in a bad relationship for most of my 20's). I'm not really wanting a relationship right now but just female companionship... and the things that come with it.. any advice how to go about this? Thanks.

 

[PlayHer Man]

To Playher man,

I know what you say is true for most woman, however I have found there are some rare gems that appreciate a connection emotionally before sexually. I agree with you though that your formula will work for most woman. In this particular case.. this girl all but professed her love for me through our many conversations and texts even before ever going on a second date. I didn't respond as I wasn't wanting to jump into a relationship with both feet as this girl seemed to want to do.

Looking back I think where I really went wrong with this girl was opening up way too much rather than just spending time with her keeping it light and fun... that was my big mistake and I'm sure we'd be deep into things by now had I done that. My brain still says I dodged some major drama with this girl (especially her being my coworker), but still.. wow is she hot.. not meant to be on this one.

I have always been the total gentleman Mr. Nice guy and have been able to get away with it to some extent because of having a good career and staying physically fit.. but beyond these assets.. I have no game.. I hope to learn fast as I'm getting a very late start (I was stuck in a bad relationship for most of my 20's). I'm not really wanting a relationship right now but just female companionship... and the things that come with it.. any advice how to go about this? Thanks.

You still don't get it my man --> THERE IS NO GOLDEN P*SSY.

The minute you put a woman (ANY woman) on a pedestal is the minute you LOSE the game.

Look up the term "Oneitis" for more clarification.

 

[Mercenary of Love]

Props to what PlayHer Man says. He speaks the distilled truth

Your priority in any interaction with a girl you want to fvck ... is actually fvcking her! Once you get her to surrender herself in the most primal way possible, you have the upper hand and you can start calling the shots, whether you want it to be a one time thing, f-buddy, all the way up to a wifey.

Women might deny it, but even the most squeaky clean "good girl" wants a strong man to overpower her with his sexuality and get her to open hers up and run with it. You can never be too sexually aggressive with a girl (unless you literally rape a chick). If you've got her number, push for the date. If you're on the date, escalate physically and see she is comfortable as you move towards caressing erogenous zones (I prefer the inner thighs). If she lets you touch her thighs, then go for a kiss when the opportunity presents itself. If she lets you kiss, go for the makeout. If she's making out with you, try to get her to come back to your place THAT NIGHT*. Of course all these things are easier said than done, but this is the reality of getting with women in 2013.

Failing to escalate and push for sex within a short time frame (< 2 weeks) after a girl has clearly expressed sexual interest makes girls think you're uninterested in her at best and a scared little boy at worst. Even if she's not the type to fvck right away, and if even if she doesn't verbalize it or realize it herself, she respects you more and is more attracted to you if you are actively trying to get the pvss than the other way around.


*One of the biggest mistakes that I have seen a LOT these days is guys getting a kiss or makeout and then think that the deal is sealed with a girl, game set match. You CANNOT get girls get all hot and bothered and the drop them off at their doorstep, unsatisfied, and expect to meet up with her a week later and expect to get into her pants. Not only does this piss her off leaving her horny, but who knows what kind of mood she'll be in the next time you see her, which can ruin the whole thing.

 

[VladPatton]

Dude, bro, buddy....you are at square zero here. Just go to the DJ Bible and read. Also check out the posts put up here. There will be many cases you can read and come to a conclusion as to why you cannot be too much of a gentleman or a nice guy, place more value on talk before physical action, and text her all day long. We've all done that, I've done that, YOU certainly have done that, and make no mistake...that shıt works against you without a doubt!

I know this sounds shocking for you and we probably seem like a bunch of fücked up douche bags, but we're not. We're not pick up artists, either. We're guys asking for help from the real world, and advising based on real world experiences, as well as common sense.

Just make time for this site daily and read around. Slowly you'll get it.

 

[newboy718]

i think the spilling your heart out part really killed it women seem to hate things they understand too fast only let her know those things after more time or after you slept with her textting to much is a problem too it makes you to avaliable unless you both are in highschool keep the mystery about you but not to much to scare her off just basic things i use to do the same thing you did try to make a emotional connection with her before sleeping with her but its just not gonna work

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Oy vey...where to begin? So many mistakes....

* Pursuing co-worker
* Constant texting
* Pedestalizing, even if faintly aware of its dangers
* 8 hour phone conversations
* Spilling guts way too prematurely
* Getting no investment from girl towards sex
* Following her lead
* Hardly ever unavailable (the one date cancellation noted)

She in fact is NOT pursuing you. She's using you for attention and validation.

You've given her no challenge or mystery or leadership.

She's not tingling for you. If she was, she'd have made it easy to close the deal by now.



I had a dog once, a border collie. They were bred to be working dogs who took orders from their pack leader. That was their comfort zone.

I would try to get the dog to sleep on the couch/bed with me sometimes. She hated it and would only stay a few minutes.

Why? Because it felt wrong for a dog like that to share the space with the pack leader. I figured this out much too late.

Women respond to strong, confident men who they cannot control. And, they will bend over backwards to land the man that they are attracted to but find a challenge to nail down.

This has all been too easy for her and her hindbrain is not responding with gina tingly goodness. You've acted like a girlfriend does but because you are a man she want to maintain your attention without investing anything (that a man wants, i.e., sex) in return.

Spend your time pursuing other women now.

 

[CJ 101]

Oy vey...where to begin? So many mistakes....

* Pursuing co-worker
* Constant texting
* Pedestalizing, even if faintly aware of its dangers
* 8 hour phone conversations
* Spilling guts way too prematurely
* Getting no investment from girl towards sex
* Following her lead
* Hardly ever unavailable (the one date cancellation noted)ni

She in fact is NOT pursuing you. She's using you for attention and validation.

You've given her no challenge or mystery or leadership.

She's not tingling for you. If she was, she'd have made it easy to close the deal by now.



I had a dog once, a border collie. They were bred to be working dogs who took orders from their pack leader. That was their comfort zone.

I would try to get the dog to sleep on the couch/bed with me sometimes. She hated it and would only stay a few minutes.

Why? Because it felt wrong for a dog like that total share the space with the pack leader. I figured this out much too late.

Women respond to strong, confident men who they cannot control. And, they will bend over backwards to land the man that they are attracted to but find a challenge to nail down.

This has all been too easy for her and her hindbrain is not responding with gina tingly goodness. You've acted like a girlfriend does but because you are a man she want to maintain your attention without investing anything (that a man wants, i.e., sex) in return.

Spend your time pursuing other women now.

Right on point.

 

[Demonpenz]

the brutal and honest truth stings, but it is a blessing to get ego cut down so you can build yourself up as a person that woman chase, a successful man who doesn't have time for any b.s.