Why?

[jbrunner_ipa]

This was in tips but i think it'd be better here

Why?
Once again, i'm questioning my motives. I've been in a ltr before and was engaged. I loved having a person around who made me feel good but there was so much involved in being with somebody....so many strings. I'm in a band that's doing very well and that takes up so much of my time and to be honest, I love my music more than i could ever love another human being.
I would like to be in a relationship with somebody....but i can't get up to asking anybody out or even going out with anybody who clearly expresses interest because the question of "why"? comes up.
I don't know why i would be doing it.....i don't have time to be in a relationship, the label clearly doesn't pay the band enough for me to support a family....i'm too selfish to handle the strings attached....so........why? What's the point? I'm just going to end up hurting somebody and still ending up by myself in the end...........can somebody help me?

 

[Oxide]

Why not?

 

[jbrunner_ipa]

come on guys, this is a legit question. You have to face it. Don't just ignore this....
why?

 

[usdaprime]

Well first off you have not gotten an answer to your post because of 2 reasons 1 your post count is low and it seems like the only people who get answered is the people with the high post counts. and 2. becuase it is a serious question and its not dumb look at the pointless threads and you will see 100000000 replies. ex " I woke up and my cat was in my bed rubbing up against me. Is that a sign my cat wants me to shag it or does it want food?"


But what is the "why" your asking yourself? Is it why don't I not want to be with this person who is showing signs of interest? or is it why do I like a band more than anything else?????????

 

[jbrunner_ipa]

well..i've been a member here for a year and a half approx. My post count is low because i'm out doing other things....on the road...having a life

the why question is........why go to all of this trouble just for some chic. I don't understand.....I mean i enjoy the company and pleasure of a hot, intelligent girl....but....why go out of my way? See, i'm stuck.....i would like the relationship.....but the trouble that is involved in initatiating it...i don't know....
just...i don't understand what all the fuss is about. Why go to all this trouble? Is it worth it......i dont 'feel that i've conveyed my point well..but...i just want some decent discussion here on the matter

 

[jbrunner_ipa]

I suppose nobody is going to tackle this one tonight. keep it bumped until tomorrow though, because i really want to see some critical discussion on the matter.

 

[Ser_i]

do you feel any kind of pressure to be with a woman ?

why are you forcing yourself to think about this ?

why can't you just do it and see how it goes, don't make expectations so you won't get dissapointed when you get in a relationship and the longer it goes the better it'll be right ?


you might be driving yourself nuts just thinking about it all the time so it pops up every time you meet a girl/woman who is interesting enough

 

[NatureGuy]

It sounds to me like you're more interested in pursuing your career than woman and relationships at this time. At your age, that's quite appropriate and there really is no reason to worry about it.
For most ambitious guys (who usually
become successfull later on because of that drive) it's quite normal to be career/college oriented from 18 +.
Eventually you'll get more balanced and
probably hook up with someone you
really like.

 

[Big Pappy]

Here's why.

Okay, so you're in a band, doing what you love. You ask yourself, why bother with a relationship with a pretty, intelligent woman.

Maintaining a relationship is work, no doubt about it. Perhaps at this stage in your life, you shouldn't be worried about a steady gal. Just do what you like to do - don't worry about it. If you want to date a girl, date her. If you want to date three girls, date three. Nobody says you have to be in a committed, monogamous relationship.

If you don't want to date at all, don't. Work on your music, put more money in the bank, and save lots of time as well.

 

[Knicknack]

why? because whackin off gets old...

 

[E-Z Rider]

Just chill out about it.

LTR's happen. Most of the time when you could care less about having one. Then 'bam!' some chick finally interests you.

A good girl can really make you happy, if you're already happy in yourself. So do your own thing, make yourslef happy.

And keep dating girls, just have fun with them. Meet new girls. At some point it'll happen. Best not to force it.

Hope this helps- -E-Z

 

[NewMan]

Why?

Well because being with someone thats works for you - is better than being alone.

Here is the deal I think though.

You need to find someone who works for you. Be selfish - it's your life - but you should tell the women you meet exactly what you want. If that's a woman that will share you with your music, then tell her that. That probably isn't for most women, but there probably are women out there that would be happy to deal with that - perhaps a woman that has something of her own she's involved with - another musician perhaps?

Just don't try and mold a woman into a life that she doesn't want. Live it your way with a girl thats fits with what you want.

 

[drixsa]

why does it have to take effort?

its only as hard as you make it

i think it was DeepBlue who said something about you never having to go out of your way to pick up a girl

just do what u usually do, and girls will apear

if its tough to talk to girls then u need to be re-directing the question of why in that direction