Why you need to be assertive

[KingofPuss]

Too many young guys I know are so passive. They don't want to be rude, or hurt other's feelings, or make trouble for others. This is called being a pushover.

This applies most usually when one is at an establishment and an employee or someone says that x is not available. Like you can't return an object, when you know for a fact that they have a policy that forces them to.

When you allow people to push you around, you lose your respect. People think you have no balls. Watch the movie Scarface, see how Tony acted. He didn't care, and he didn't let anyone tell him what to do. Now that's an extreme example, but if you have that attitude, REAL men and DECENT women will respect the hell out of you. Only pathetic individuals will look down on you for standing up for yourself.

The other day I went to trade in a broken phone at gamestop. I called in ahead and the guy said he could take it. I get there and realize that wasnt true, so I had to drive across town to another. When I got there, the store leader said since it's dead he cannot accept it. On their website, I saw they accept it and the guy at the other store said anyone would accept it.

They tried to hustle me out of the store and not accept the phone, but I stood there and held my ground. The manager looked annoyed so I told him to call the other store. Finally it was figured out.

Today I went in there and the manager was extremely friendly, and even remembered my name. He helped me very promptly and had a complete change of attitude.

Refuse to accept something that is not true. And more importantly, listen to your GUT! It is right more often than not. Be a man and stand up for yourself.

 

[Billtx49]

Especially true with any type of retail. Went to get some mixed piece chicken take out last night. Was told they only had wings at that moment and was that ok with me?
No, it was not ok. Had to wait an extra 5 min. for their incompetence, but got what I wanted.
Never settle for less than what you want and deserve.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I notice this with my mom. I used to be super nice to her and compliment her and try to be a sweet kid. Then I noticed how my other siblings treated her like **** and she was super nice to them and took her anger out on me. I got fed up with it and now I don't take **** from her at all. Sometimes I was downright mean and would cuss her out when she pusbed me too far. The next day she gets all wishy washy with me and actually starts to do everything a normal mom does "cook, clean, she even smiled too sometimes and told us she loved us and how we are "such good kids"). It's absolutely insane.

 

[logicallefty]

I notice this with my mom. I used to be super nice to her and compliment her and try to be a sweet kid. Then I noticed how my other siblings treated her like **** and she was super nice to them and took her anger out on me. I got fed up with it and now I don't take **** from her at all. Sometimes I was downright mean and would cuss her out when she pusbed me too far. The next day she gets all wishy washy with me and actually starts to do everything a normal mom does "cook, clean, she even smiled too sometimes and told us she loved us and how we are "such good kids"). It's absolutely insane.

I had a similar situation with my mom. I threatened to cut her out of my life a year or so ago when she was being a b|tch to me about some priorities of mine. She kept wanting to bring it up after I told her to 'let it go' about 100x. I FINALLY said "Mom if you haven't noticed, people come and go from my life and it is nothing to me.. If you think you are immune and I won't cut you out you better wipe you glasses off and take another good hard look.. I love you but I am tired of you ragging my ass over this and if it continues we are done as in just like I am with sister-X (who I wrote off as not having as a sister)". It helped a lot.

I think in most of life being assertive is the way to go so long as you also show that you are willing to compromise and be reasonable so long as others are the same with you. I will use @billtx49 's chicken thing as an example. He was assertive but also willing to compromise and wait 5 minutes for the chicken he wanted. So that was a good assertive. On the other hand, if he would have said "No, I'm not waiting 5 x minutes. I know the District Manager for this place and I am going to make sure that each and every one of you gets fired over this!!" that would have been the wrong kind of assertive.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

On the other hand, if he would have said "No, I'm not waiting 5 x minutes. I know the District Manager for this place and I am going to make sure that each and every one of you gets fired over this!!" that would have been the wrong kind of assertive.

This.

It's important to remember there is a balancing act with what OP is suggesting. I'm sure he's not suggesting running around like a chest-beating idiot.

Unfortunately, I've lagged through a lot of BS customer service/sales jobs in my day, including recently at a call center. I cannot stress it enough how important it is to be cordial first. If I was dealing with a bully, a belligerent drunk, somebody talking in his bestlawyer voice, I'd say whatever it took to get him off the phone, up to and including lying about a bad connection, and offering to call him back from my desk phone and not actually doing so. But for someone who was nice to me, or even politely assertive I'd move mountains for them.

Often times the first person you're talking to is not actually able to do what you want, but give them a chance first. If you feel like they're just being lazy or straight up lying to you, get a supervisor. A first level supervisor is usually capable of finding that item that's "out of stock", waiving a $25 fee, or doing that minor favor for you.

But yes, never get walked over either.

 

[JohnChops]

I notice this with my mom. I used to be super nice to her and compliment her and try to be a sweet kid. Then I noticed how my other siblings treated her like **** and she was super nice to them and took her anger out on me. I got fed up with it and now I don't take **** from her at all. Sometimes I was downright mean and would cuss her out when she pusbed me too far. The next day she gets all wishy washy with me and actually starts to do everything a normal mom does "cook, clean, she even smiled too sometimes and told us she loved us and how we are "such good kids"). It's absolutely insane.

Wow , glad I have a great mother. Sorry to hear you have to be a **** to earn your mother's respect.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Wow , glad I have a great mother. Sorry to hear you have to be a **** to earn your mother's respect.

Eh, I guess it's to be expected. My dad had some issues that forced him to marry later than the norm so he wanted to settle down right away. They were engaged for a month before they got married which I thought was rediculous. I think she only liked my dad because he was sort of a rebound nice guy since the guy she originally liked was a complete jerk whom she then regretted falling for.