Why why why me? Why is life so unfair?

[TheWanderer]

I've never felt so much anger and sadness before. A quick background first.....I met this girl about 10 weeks ago and things stared going really good. We started dating two months ago, went to prom together and have grown very close. She's 16 I'm 17. I know a lot of you will say I don't love her and she doesn't love me but I truly do love her and believe she's the one I want to marry.

Well friday night she wanted to go to her friend's bday party so we do. We get in my car at 11 and we head to my house where her mom was picking her up. We're driving down this street and I don't have a stop sign at this one intersection.....but the crossing street does. So I keep going and right as I'm in the middle of it I see this huge semi truck coming right at us. I try to swerve but it wasn't enough and we got destroyed. It all went in slow motion and I was awake the whole time (he hit us on her side). After this is done I look at her and she looked dead. I got so scared I thought she was gone forver. I try to wake her up and she starts moaning but still in a coma so at least I know she isn't dead. Then I get put in an ambulance (I busted my head open) and she gets cut out of the car and taken to the same hospital I went to but by a helicopter.

Well, she had 5 broken ribs, liver and lung damage, a concussion, and trauma from the impact. Not to mention tons of cuts and gashes. I get a crapload of stiches and 16 staples on my head and I'm released that morning at 4am. I go home and clean up then come back to the hospital at 6. Since then my girlfriend has been in intensive care with a breathing machine, chest tube, feeding tube, water tube, and too many things.

She is getting better day by day, and there's no considerable brain damage that can be seen yet. Physically she'll be 100% again sometime. But we can't know if she'll have any personality changes or amnesia or anything until she wakes up. Now that was friday night and even though she's not getting any more stuff to keep her asleep, she's still in a coma and hasn't woken up. It's wednesday night now, I've been there with her almost from 7am-8pm everyday (I can't stay overnight since I'm not a parent, or I would).

Now, I know this stuff takes time, but today I heard that she could be in a coma for up to 2 weeks....and in the hospital for up to 8 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I'm really thankful to God that she's still alive and that she should be fine someday. But I just want to see her wake up and at least say a word. I'm afraid she won't remember me or her friends/family. I'm afraid that she'll never be the same sweet girl she was (personality wise). And I'm just so sick and tired of going everyday and she's still in the same state. I just want her to wake up to tell her how much I love her and to know that she will be fine. Today I got so pissed off when they said a coma could last for up to 2 weeks that I just left early because I can't take it anymore.

I guess this doesn't really belong here, but I just wanted to get some of that off my chest. I just wish I could fall asleep and wake up when she wakes up. I don't understand why this had to happen though. What's so hard about stopping at a stop sign if you're the truck driver? This could have been so easily avoided but........that just makes me so mad.

 

[Archaic]

when she wakes up, if you havent already, tell her what you just said, because that was beautiful, glad to see someone with a heart.

 

[InsidiousNstinct]

Wow...props to you for posting this man. In a way I know how you feel. My dad was in a car accident that took his life. It's really hard man sometimes you just don't know why things happen the way they do.

God works in really mysterious ways (yes ill probably get flamed for saying that) Anyways, much props to you for being there with her. That's the only thing you can do. I know its frustrating not being able to help. Only thing you can do is be there for her and im sure she would expect nothing more of you.

I know you may think this sounds completely crazy but this is something to learn and grow from. I bet you never thought when you left from where ever you were that this would happen. I believe this will bring both of you closer and also value life greater.


Best wishes,


Jonathan

Please keep us updated on her condition and whatever you do don't lose faith.

 

[gravstar]

Woah! Thats really harsh mate. Sounds like you had a pretty crap last couple of weeks. Keep up the faith though. Good Stuff.
You'll both pull through.

 

[i am me]

Tell her how you feel. If she remembers everything (I hope she does) and you tell her what you just told us...man...let's just say she'll have a VERY deep trust in you.

 

[moldingcheese]

People who share this kind of experience together can never leave each other. Your spirits are now binded. You can't lose her without losing most of yourself. and vice versa. Thank god that you live in the USA with its great medical technology. And thank god you two are both alive, especially her. Imagine what it would be like if she died. You would blame yourself for the rest of your life.

 

[Fitch]

Originally posted by moldingcheese
People who share this kind of experience together can never leave each other. Your spirits are now binded. You can't lose her without losing most of yourself. and vice versa. Thank god that you live in the USA with its great medical technology. And thank god you two are both alive, especially her. Imagine what it would be like if she died. You would blame yourself for the rest of your life.

Why imagine what would have happened?

She has been saved, enjoy your life.

Best of luck, TheWanderer. She will pull through. How do I know, you wonder? You, apparently, have great faith in her. You standed by her side for hours. It would be accurate to call it days.

Remember: What does not kill you, makes you stronger. Be strong, help your girlfriend through these trying times. Triumph, and enjoy the best of life - learn from the worst.

I wish your girlfriend a speedy recovery.

 

[penkitten]

love and prayers

 

[TheWanderer]

Thanx guys your support really helps. Not that we're not getting enough but everything helps. Oh and good news.....her breathing tube came out today and she started shaking and stuff which apparently is a neurological storm, which means her brain is trying to reactivate stuff in her body for her to wake up.

So even though she's not awake yet it seems like progress is being made. I'm really more relaxed today after thinking about stuff and looking at the big picture I realize I have to be patient and that one summer is nothing when compared to a lifetime.

I'll keep you guys updated.

 

[penkitten]

good to hear.

 

[Fitch]

Originally posted by TheWanderer
Thanx guys your support really helps. Not that we're not getting enough but everything helps. Oh and good news.....her breathing tube came out today and she started shaking and stuff which apparently is a neurological storm, which means her brain is trying to reactivate stuff in her body for her to wake up.

So even though she's not awake yet it seems like progress is being made. I'm really more relaxed today after thinking about stuff and looking at the big picture I realize I have to be patient and that one summer is nothing when compared to a lifetime.

I'll keep you guys updated.

I am happy. She is making excellent progress as I anticipated.

 

[Eternal]

Keep us updated and hope things go well.

By the way, any word on any action the driver is going to face?

 

[Fitch]

Originally posted by Eternal
Keep us updated and hope things go well.

By the way, any word on any action the driver is going to face?

Car accidents are not a crime*, Eternal. The driver faces similar penaties as would any car accident. Monitary compinsation for the damages. If the driver is proven 100% at fault for the accident he pays for the damages inflicted on TheWanderers's vehicle, and the medical bills for the victims (insurance, physical theropy, surgery, hospital room fees, etc.). If it is 50%/50% then both parties split the cost.

Unless there was intent, the driver (of the opposite party) does not face capital punishment.


*Car accident's occur due to unlawful actions, however it is not "illegal" to have a car accident. These unlawful actions, however, are not catogorized with crimminal activities. It is classified as a "civil matter."

Difference between civil and crimminal.

Civil revolves, specificly, around money. One party wants money, the other may also want money or the right not to give the money to the prosecutor.

Crimminal cases revolve around unlawfulness. I.E. Robbery, murder, etc.

Car accidents are not classified as crimminal because, as aforementioned, it does not specificly break a "criminal law" unless there is intent. Intent is classified under crimminal law.

 

[Fitch]

TheWanderer:

Keep ONE thing in mind. Car accidents happen to the best of us. Remember that. The most experienced driver can - unfortunately -end up in accident.

YOUR skill does not play an important role. The skill of the OTHER driver does.

You did the best you could and unfortunately that guy ran the STOP sign.

Next time, rely on yourself. Not the prudence of fellow drivers. It's a free-for-all behind the wheel. No one knows what they are doing, especially in New York. I was almost thrown of the highway two weeks ago, and I kept my lane.

The best we can do is take precaution. If we turn on an intersection, check for any cars - just in case. It is a responsible action to do, for the sake of your loved ones.

Bear in mind, you are not to blame. You followed the traffic rules, if the other driver had, all would be well.