Why they don't admit there is someone else?

[Delly2000]

I can't seem to understand why women don't admit when there is someone else when you are dating them. Is it because they want to have their cake and eat it too? When you ask them if there is...they vehemently deny it. Say things like they only been with 4 people and since you they haven't had sex in a year. But they display the following.

-insist you and them don't have a title because titles scare them from past relationships

-ask if you are seeing anyone else and how many people have been sleeping in your bed.

-have sex with you infrequently and only after you have done something romantic.

-get calls and text from other men in front of you who they claim are just friends and receive gifts from them

-say they are going to kick it with you after the club and when u call there phone is off and they text you 630 in the morning saying their phone died and they went to after hours spot with their girls.

-say that they want something that can grow into something real but do all of the above.

The thing is this. If you kicking it with the next dude tell me so I can head to the door. Also don't act like its a big deal if I am seeing someone else. I guess in this sense I have been outgamed. However it all ended becuase we had arguments and I had become "jealous and possesive". Got the "I just want to be alone line". I can't contact her if I wanted to...erased everything. I guess in the future I can spot this type from early on. Probably hung on because she was close to a dime and the best looking I ever dated. The thing is you want to beleive them...and I guess there is the possibility however slight that they may be telling the truth.

 

[PokerStar]

thast how they do. you cant change how they act or feel. only you can change how you feel when you are in the situation.

The less and less you take them seriously the more and more you become desensitized to these situtations.

thats all i got.

 

[5string]

Women spin plates just like men. Simple.

 

[5string]

^^^^exactly.

Why do you need her confirmation of what you already know? Not that she will ever tell you everything.

If she asks you those questions, give cryptic answers ("maybe") or better yet, agree and amplify.

It's less about being "outgamed" as it is caring less - during the early going. That may sound cynical, but that's how hit goes.

Very true. The question is....OP needs to decide if he wants to be one of her plates?

 

[vatoloco]

Women spin plates just like men. Simple.

She spins plates. So should you.

It sounds to me like your IL is higher than hers. Is an exclusive relationship what you're looking for? If that's the case, that's great. It seems, though, that she's not interested/ready at the moment. Also:

If you kicking it with the next dude tell me so I can head to the door. Also don't act like its a big deal if I am seeing someone else.

Dude, you gotta play fair. If it bothers you that a girl is "kicking it with the next dude" enough to head for the door, why shouldn't they make a big deal that you're "seeing someone else"?

But you know what the best cure for this situation is? See the underlined text above.

 

[Burroughs]

The thing is this. If you kicking it with the next dude tell me so I can head to the door. Also don't act like its a big deal if I am seeing someone else. I guess in this sense I have been outgamed. However it all ended becuase we had arguments and I had become "jealous and possesive". Got the "I just want to be alone line". I can't contact her if I wanted to...erased everything. I guess in the future I can spot this type from early on. Probably hung on because she was close to a dime and the best looking I ever dated. The thing is you want to beleive them...and I guess there is the possibility however slight that they may be telling the truth.

You got played here a thousand times over.

What makes you think you're ENTITLED TO ANYTHING when it comes to anyone else? Your best bet is to be the man you want to be be AND NAME YOUR PRICE EARLY.

I'll say it again NAME YOUR PRICE EARLY.

The moment it gets too expensive you leave and don't look back...women lie and men lie, get used to it.

 

[Delly2000]

Yeah. Spinning more plates is the answer. I think because I was spining plates this is what snagged her initially...my sense of detachment and devil may care attitude to the whole enterprise.

Thing is after hangin out for a few months and having some fun times and waking up thinking..."how did I get so lucky...look at this beautiful creature laying next too me" I started catching feeelings.

Also I couldnt understand her jealousy. One time we went out to a comedy club and then a night club. Did the romantic thing opening doors etc. We were having a great time. Then when we get back in the car she starts crying...I am talking full on tears. Saying why I was looking at all the girls instead of paying attention to her ( i didn't notice i was doing this). Said she really cares about me but didnt understand why I was treating her that way. SO she told me take her home. Had a mini argument. Like why is it a problem me looking at a girl where she goes out with her girls and dances with guys grinding etc...I just didnt get the logic. She went sleep and I took her to my house. When she woke she made protestations. So I just said forget this and kiss her...next thing I know we having this amazing sex all night damn near.

In the end she wanted her cake and eat it too.

Thanks for the advice all

 

[Romjuan]

Why do girls do this and act like this? Well, from what Ive learned they think that what ever they "feel" is ok and they can get away with anything they want. Also, a wise man once told me "Girls and guys want ONE thing only from one another, and Most of the time,once they get it theyre done with that person. All guys want sex (obviously) and when they get it, most of the time they are done with that girl...All girls want 'jockage' (attention) from guys. Once you give it to them they are done with you." In this case you gave her your attention where this other guy didnt which makes her want him.
Why would she continue to lead you on even though shes dating another person??? Well, same reason why we keep fuk buddies. She still wants to get attention from you and other guys. Girls like having tons of guys text messaging them, giving them attention. Even though she has a guy and is at a bar with them, they will still tell you to come and "say hi". Simply because she feels validated by how many guys jock her.

 

[st_99]

Chick just sounds like she is all over the place, meaning.. doesn't want a relationship (with you) but obviously likes male attention, having sex, etc. Bottom line, yeah, she wants to have her cake and eat it to. Some day she may settle down but just isn't ready i guess. Not much different than what tons of us guys do.

And as far as all the "mixed messages." Its all bullsh*t really, its just talk for the moment, fairly meaningless. You obviously knew all along what was going on but chose to ignore it or discount it. It happens, I do it all the time but am working on it.

 

[squirrels]

Until she puts the ring on, I am going to assume there's ALWAYS "someone else".

She doesn't tell you about it because then you'd leave and she'd no longer have you as an option.

Modern "relationship theory" forces men and women to jump into commitments they don't want or aren't ready for...that's why 90% of all "cheating" occurs.

 

[Mike32ct]

When a female tells you the number of guys she has been with, she ONLY counts serious long term relationships. Bar/club ONS', spring break, Vegas, house parties, and hookups with coworkers when she was a waitress or hostess at any major chain restaurant never count.

 

[azanon]

AFCs ask women who else their dating and by doing so, indirectly express their concern and insecurity about it. I'm not trying to be rude, it's just that I'm not good at being sensitive. If you're concerned about your health, 1. Use a condom 2. Make your best guess judgment about her health without spilling the AFC beans.

When you're rotating 3-4 chicks or more, why care what one is doing?

 

[Delly2000]

No offence taken. I will admit it was AFC and not playa to ask. Initially I was rotating about 2 or 3 so it really didn't bother me initially. Matter of fact I knew she had to be. But she was the hottest out the bunch. Best looking girl I ever had and after a few months of doing all these fun things and sex the feelings came. She got me.

And then she kept asking me if there was anyone else and that I was acting like I had others. How she didn't want to share. I would just play past the question. But I got hooked and then she started to change. She started to do disrespectful things like stated above and I would get mad. Sex stopped. Arguments. Partying with the girls late. So I figured there was someone else. Thing is if there was why should I be doing romantic things with her and not be getting any sex or have to have arguments. Like take her out and do fun boyfriend things and not get any affection where there was affection before...thats a step back in my eyes.


It just came to a point where she wasn't going to change...and I didnt want to keep on being dissrespected so it just ended. Ofcourse it was my fault for being "Jealous and Possesive". Oh well. Another hottie will come up eventually like this one eventually and hopefully with less drama.