Why PUA forums are essentially useless GLL Video

[Bumsniff]

Video from Goodlookingloser regarding why PUA forums are essentially useless. Agree or disagree?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg12lin_E7w&list=UUa_eGOVghNusdBw3XGcnFtw&index=1&feature=plcp

 

[bish0p]

I agree with him...especially when he talks about the blind leading the blind. When I first started coming here, I would see posts by guys preaching and they would have a lot of posts, making it seem as if they were authorities on the subject.

Then, at some point I would see these same guys say that they are virgins or don't get laid a lot and I was like "what the hell."

I don't come here as often anymore, but when I do, I make sure I recognize the name and look at their previous posts before I even consider accepting their advice.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

The video was too long, so I went to his website where he had the same sentiment typed out in shorter form.

In short, I agree with what he said, especially the part about not knowing what the guys complaining about girls looks like, sounds like, etc...

This is actually the reason I only give out advice on these boards vs. asking for any. In fact, I was on here under a different name YEARS ago, but didn't really give out much advice because, since I was still in AFC mode, I figured it would be (a) harmful and (b) hypocritical to advise guys to do stuff that I myself wasn't doing, especially when I wasn't getting laid that much.

Granted, it's not all about just getting laid - I don't believe a guy should necessarily shoot for banging hundreds of girls - but I couldn't even get a chick to stay with me as girlfriend material a few years back, so what purpose would my advice have held? It wasn't until I started getting laid regularly AND being able to get girlfriends did I realize I could now give advice with a clear conscience.

However, for the majority of guys on here, I do believe they are keyboard jockeys. It's really easy to think a technique or piece of advice might work for someone else, which is why KJs can give out advice like it's the TRUTH. I stick to only giving advice based on things I've personally done that have either worked for me or have been observed by me to have worked for others.

 

[switch]

^ i agree....with this guys opinion
im not banging chicks left and right...but i got my share, still half-afc though
anway on the PUA thing:
PUA makes dating look like rocket science.....i never liked maths
pua is like womatics....formulas and steps...
never worked with me

look at mystery method: it essentially uses hypnosis as its core principals

so the girl will never like "YOU" she is liking an "illusion"
the irony is women like illusions(faking) for a short term...but when it becomes a long term thing , the illusion will eventually burst....that illusion burst will cause her to dump your ass

 

[backbreaker]

i don't agree with it whatsoever.

I see this place a lot like a huge AA meeting. I say that a lot because it's true. there are people in AA who dont' have a ****ing clue what they are talking about, who can't string more than 1-2 months clean and feel like they have to tell everyone else how to stay clean. that's everywhere. they are usually the loudest ones. what i have come to find out over the years is what they are realling doing is just thinking out loud.

Ironically, i think the video guy is a keyboard jockey. saying that an entire venue is worthless is something a KJ would say. they tell you in AA.. look.. it's very easy to find out what to do. find someone who is living like you are living and do what they did. it's pretty much foolproof.

understand that everyone is at different places here. just simply figure out who you think is living like you want to live and do what they did to get there. it's really that simple.

and it's not the blind leading the blind. I come back for 2 very specific reasons; first, beucase i like to be reminded of just how bad I was before i got here. I don't think of this like sometihng you learn and then you are just done i thik of it like it's osmehting you have to keep in check. this place keeps my perspective in check and my prorities straight. secondly, someone was here for me when i got here. just paying it forward.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

find someone who is living like you are living and do what they did. it's pretty much foolproof.

BB this part of your post reminds me of advice my pops (when he was pissed off at me) gave to my siblings when we were younger. He said since "NN" is the oldest and he sets the example, watch what he does.....and do the EXACT OPPOSITE. LMAO. My pops is funny as hell when he's mad!


I watched the video and agree with it.

Like I've always said it's looks, style with an edge, and being social/having a personality first. Look your best, dress your best with style and a slight edge, and become more social learning to talk to chicks like people first. Not objects you need to "possess" for your ego's/self worths sake.

 

[good looking loser]

thanks for your responses, this isn't the forum I necessarily had in mind however.

the truth is (in my opinion) the majority of guys on most forums don't even want to get laid. if they did- they'd be talking to chicks and not trying to boost their forum 'karma/stats'. These guys are most interested in telling stories, hating on something, and being entertained. It's entertainment. maybe someone has a funny line today, maybe someone AMOG'ed another guy. maybe there's a new youtube PUA video for me to critique today.

deep down a lot of guys know that they will never even make a half-ass attempt at applied the information they "learned". They end up a dating coach not a "PUA" or player that tags tons of *****. They might be the "dating coach" amongst their friends, a role that they relish. There's less disappointment than we might expect because they were never really that interested getting laid in the first place.

It's entertainment. It's not self-help. Again, not everyone, but the majority of guys at the generic boards.

i realize this isn't going to sit well with most people, but truth is- I was on PUA forums under the name 'dylan mckay' for a while and I didn't really want to get laid. maybe I thought I did, but my actions sure didnt reflect that. It wasn't until I got really lonely and fed up that I got off my ass.

oh btw--- here's the summary- http://www.goodlookingloser.com/2012/11/10/pua-dating-forums/
the video is going to be way too long for most

 

[Atom Smasher]

Broken link.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I've maintained for years that what really matters most is fitness and a sense of style, even during the great "Looks Don't Matter" wars of the 2000s.

Ninja worded it well in his post above.

All the other stuff is monkey dancing.

1) Look fit. That is within your control.

2) Develop a sense of style. That is in your control.

3) Learn how to talk to people on a genuine level, with some boldness and humor thrown in. Everyone can improve on that by simply practicing.

Those three things will take care of 99% of your girl issues. It's mostly attitude (which style conveys) and less about the actual words that find their way out.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

look at mystery method: it essentially uses hypnosis as its core principals

The mystery method does not work. Mystery and most of the PUA movement started in MY backyard, Toronto...so I can speak with some authority on the subject. Mystery himself will admit that he can't do sh1t anymore in Toronto, regardless of what bag of tricks he throws at women. I don't know Mystery personally, but I do know someone who has met him personally.

No PUA has any regular success in Toronto. They all get their a$$es handed to them on silver platter with b1tch shields, c0ck blockers and just general coldness from women in this city. Do you know that women in Toronto PURPOSELY avoid eye contact with you? Purposely. That's how cold they are here. Not kidding and not even exaggerating sadly..

There are countless tales of distress with dating life in general coming from Toronto. No amount of "technique" or "game" will help you in Toronto. Not even a prayer. And guess what, most major North American cities are about to follow suit. It is only a matter of time. Get ready for pain.

Your only hope in a city like Toronto is being one of the best looking guys in the scene. Plain and simple. No technique. no game. No $1000 pickup seminars. Just be good looking and hope that your looks alone open up the girl who would otherwise simply avoid eye contact with you and ignore you completely if you even just said "hi".

Anyone disagree with me? I dare you. Let's do a PUA challenge in Toronto. If you can pick up on ANY given night in Toronto, I will pay for your airfare and hotel stay. Serious. I choose the venues. If you dress like a slob and still pick up, I will give a $500 bonus on top of airfare and hotel.

 

[zekko]

All the other stuff is monkey dancing.

1) Look fit. That is within your control.

2) Develop a sense of style. That is in your control.

3) Learn how to talk to people on a genuine level, with some boldness and humor thrown in. Everyone can improve on that by simply practicing.

Those three things will take care of 99% of your girl issues.

I agree, although I would add in self respect. Which would include having a good sense of your value as a man.

 

[GoodLookingLoser]

Broken link.

yeah sorry about that, I have HostGator on it right now... it'll be back up soon

 

[good looking loser]

okay we're back in business,
http://www.goodlookingloser.com/2012/11/10/pua-dating-forums/

and again, I'm not necesarily saying THIS FORUM, please evaluate with as a neutral party, I've been on both sides. I remember where my time was spent (wasted) when I wasn't making progress and where it was spent (invested) when I did.

 

[Stagger Lee]

The mystery method does not work. Mystery and most of the PUA movement started in MY backyard, Toronto...so I can speak with some authority on the subject. Mystery himself will admit that he can't do sh1t anymore in Toronto, regardless of what bag of tricks he throws at women. I don't know Mystery personally, but I do know someone who has met him personally.

No PUA has any regular success in Toronto. They all get their a$$es handed to them on silver platter with b1tch shields, c0ck blockers and just general coldness from women in this city. Do you know that women in Toronto PURPOSELY avoid eye contact with you? Purposely. That's how cold they are here. Not kidding and not even exaggerating sadly..

There are countless tales of distress with dating life in general coming from Toronto. No amount of "technique" or "game" will help you in Toronto. Not even a prayer. And guess what, most major North American cities are about to follow suit. It is only a matter of time. Get ready for pain.

Your only hope in a city like Toronto is being one of the best looking guys in the scene. Plain and simple. No technique. no game. No $1000 pickup seminars. Just be good looking and hope that your looks alone open up the girl who would otherwise simply avoid eye contact with you and ignore you completely if you even just said "hi".

Anyone disagree with me? I dare you. Let's do a PUA challenge in Toronto. If you can pick up on ANY given night in Toronto, I will pay for your airfare and hotel stay. Serious. I choose the venues. If you dress like a slob and still pick up, I will give a $500 bonus on top of airfare and hotel.

It is pretty similar to that in Ohio IMO. What do these women do? Are they mostly all sexing the top 20% looking males, lesbians, asexual or what? What do you think is the cause, clearly misandry/feminism is a big part of the basis?

We have often heard that feminism leads to females being more sexually available. I don't really see it. I believe feminism is really just conditions that enable female super-hypergamy, i.e., women sexing with the top 20% or so looking men, vs. females pairing with looks matched males or even having to date down.

But I wonder what all these cold, stuck up women are doing to meet their needs? Is their hatred for most men and their society-induced superiority complex making them mostly asexual? Or is it with the hook up/promiscuous conditions, the top 20% good looking men can meet most all the women's needs?

 

[msi]

I agree.

Admittedly, I had no idea what I was doing with women when I first came here.

I learned a lot.

But, what I learned was mostly through inference. I see posts of how people act (or how they don't act) and it's like looking through a lens. Half of the **** posted here is just poor social behavior that would be unattractive to anyone, be it a man or woman.

What I really learned from this forum is that you do not need a forum to learn how to attract women. You just need to have socializing ability and be able to be emotionally stable. If reading posts here help you achieve these things (they did for me) or you just need simple social advice, then more power to you. Sometimes I find myself in a new situation with a woman and some posters here do help me, and generally speaking this place is pretty cool.

I don't think it's difficult to pick the good posts out from the bad ones. Maybe because the good ones all say the same things... be happy with yourself, emotionally indifferent, relax, talk to more women.

 

[Renegade357]

It's easy to attract women in my opinion. Much more difficult to keep them around. The first month of a new relationship can almost be on autopilot. That's why I don't care about pickup anymore. I pay more attention to tips dealing with LTR.

 

[spang]

since GLL featured my flake post on this, im not sure how to respond. i figured id throw in my .02 cents. i do feel that a lot of these dumb techniques and ridiculous lines are useless.
GLL, according to you the problem lies in:

What I look like.
to answer the question.
im 6'4 250lbs. muscular broad build, athletic but a few extra lbs. told im 8 out of 10 on looks scale. i have a deep voice. so i think most women are scared of me.

What clothes I rock.
usually nice band tshirts or nike/adidas shirt with jeans and nike shoes. now that its cold i sport the black leather biker jacket. but not a grungy look my clothes are clean. if im going out with friends sometimes i wear a nice dress shirt.
maybe i should down grade to a plain white tshirt like you wear? maybe go full greaser.

How socially free I am.
ill go ahead and tell you im not james bond. not many guys are. but when i make the effort to talk to a girl and she wont even acknowledge my presence for no apparent reason...like the girl in the lab did....all i did was ask her a simple question. something is wrong with them not me.
granted that girl was a bit younger than me so i chalked that one up to immaturity.


If the girl is sexually available.
who fvckin knows man. they dont even know if they are sexually available. they dont know what they want. the girl who stood me up shouldnt have made plans with me in the first place if she wasnt sexually available. if she found another d!ck to ride, thats fine. just would have been better if she had called me and cancelled, not wasting my time.
i got stood up again by a different girl on a date this past week.

so that said, the only conclusion i can come to is my whole demeanor is a turnoff to most females. combine that with looking intimidating and its a recipe for fail...no matter how polite, ****y, funny i am, how well i dress. if i did half the stuff you did in your vids, they would freak out and call the cops.
so if youre going to ask "what did i say to these women and how did i say it?", what does it matter?

 

[muscleman]

Chris - I watched you video and I agree with parts of it. Generally - and this is just as true for any guys you may coach using your 'formula' and seeing their pictures/style/etc, is this: The specifics of any interaction are too complex to draw a 100% accurate conclusion. As a result, the only conclusions you can draw are those immediately observable. In other words, even if you look good and dress sharp and still miss due to her lack of 'sexual availability', there's no guarantee you'll be able to find out exactly why. It could be something from her past. And this is where you can do 2 things:

1) Maximize your looks/presentation/'social freedom' (game), ignore the ones who flake on you, not even try to discover the reasons why, and keep playing the numbers game. And it'll work. For a while. But what's going to happen when you're 50 and you decide you still want to bang 100 'top shelf' girls/year? How will you pull it off? What are your compensatory traits? If you're doing this full time without getting your money right, for instance, how will you capitalize when you approach your SMV peak?

2) Work on the above, no doubt, but look for the other reasons of this lack of availability. You did exactly this at the end of your video - you mentioned a status discrepancy between you and the prince. And that's what will throw a monkey wrench into your entire operation. If you're famous, you don't HAVE to look great, you don't HAVE to dress sharp, and you really don't even need much 'social freedom'. More pvssy comes to YOU than you can handle. Can everyone achieve this? Of course not, but you can try to get as close as possible.

---------

You mention that 'PUA' forums are useless, but that's an incorrect term. Most forums aren't just PUA. Sure if you visit the high school sub-forum that's mainly it, but it's only a subset.

Although I agree with most points in your video, here are my 2 criticisms:

1) You have found a way that works for you based on certain fundamental principles. But it's just 1 solution among thousands. You have your own paradigms (just like I have mine and others have theirs). Does your way work? Sure (I am similar to you). Is it the only way? Absolutely not. It's probably not even the most efficient compared to the creme de la creme (the real social alphas of society) who roll through THOUSANDS of hot girls just by showing up.

2) The PUA subset (techniques, etc) are actually EXTREMELY useful for overcoming social anxiety and awkwardness. Yes a lot of it is silly. No it's not applicable in all situations. But it doesn't matter. If it works a few times, and is analyzed, the parts that work can now be integrated into future interactions, used and used again until it becomes internalized (confidence/tone of voice for example as you mentioned) and leads to a personality shift. It's not meant to be an endless tirade of if-then statements. You're supposed to learn and progress.

^ With regards to #2, I can say this from experience because that's how I changed. I learned from reading, and trying, and doing all of these stupid PUA techniques, how to cold approach, what line to use, when to ask for a number, and so on. Now I look back on it and thing wow I must have looked retarded. But you know what - it was necessary for me to unbrainwash and believe in myself. I don't use any lines anymore. If I do use a 'line', I don't realize it because it just comes out due to this 'social freedom' I developed.

PS. I'm in great shape, above average looking, and when I go out I dress decent - nothing top notch, but I have a few outfits. So I agree with a lot of what you're saying.

 

[Fly By Night]

I think that the actual scamming PUAs get guys to believe that they could be straight up nerds and dress like bums, but still be able to bag 9's and 10's just by using "smooth" words or being forward/assertive...

But flip the script: what's the first couple of things you realize about a woman that you find attractive? Her looks, whether she has a face you enjoy looking at. Her clothes, is she dressed proper or like a s1ut (which one turns you on more)? And while talking to her, you can see if she is quiet, shy, outgoing, or crazy (Social Freedom).

So you say Looks, Style, and Social Freedom are the key points? I can see in myself needing some improvement in those areas... But I don't want to spend a lot of money, I'm a broke college kid. :l

 

[rgeere]

I think that the actual scamming PUAs get guys to believe that they could be straight up nerds and dress like bums, but still be able to bag 9's and 10's just by using "smooth" words or being forward/assertive...

The PUAs who are legitimate naturally are not going to tell you you can dress like a bum, be a nerd and score 9s and 10s. However, you would be surprised that your nerds and bums actually do get into relationships with 9s and 10s. And you know how they do it? Its because your average actual woman who is a 9 and 10 may already have enough money and etc. from having too much to do with the alphas already that they go find men who they can keep as lapdogs, because the alpha males won't be lapdogs. And they'll let the alpha males run all over the beta males turf when they are not looking. That's what happens.

And guess what, it doesn't matter if you are an alpha male in your own surroundings because no man is an absolute alpha male in all circumstances. You find the wrong woman and you'll find that fact out real quick.

So, better to find a woman you know is legitimately attracted to you, meets your own standards and respects you than say go out looking for a women attached to superficial number like a 9 or 10. And you have to be respectable enough yourself to find that. That's my two cents.