Why most of djs can't connect to a woman.

[NSX-R]

My best friend is into a ldr and i was trying to explain to him why what he's doing is wrong and about how many chances he misses with the local women ( he is a blonde body builder) while he spent hours and hours in front of a computer screen talking with this hb 6 . While i was trying to convince him he said this to me :

He: What do you know about relationships and connections , the most you have talked to a woman is for an hour , you fck them and then forget about their existence.

At first i thought how deep he is into the blue pill but after further thought i realised why i never had any relationship longer than a month or why i see this negativity into the forums about quality women .

I mean , every time i see a post about somebody who has issues with his woman , the only answer is to dump her and spin more plates . We always blame the women when something isn't working like most of men are perfect beings. I like to think that ss is still a self improvement site and that's why I'm saying, sometimes it's our fault when something isn't working.

When we keep on blaming women if our relations with them never improve, it means we are doing something wrong.

We keep on advising people in here , when we find a difficulty, we should dump the woman and look for something else. Normally, the higher the difficulty, better the quality. That's why we always end up with low quality women , because we can't deal with the good sh!t.

 

[Trump]

Women aren't supposed to be difficult, they are supposed to be submissive and along for the ride. Once a woman becomes difficult, you know she has an ulterior motive that doesn't include being your girlfriend. Women are natural followers. They get married because their friends are getting married, they get pregnant because their friends are getting pregnant. They don't love the guy, the need him to fill their agenda.

Men are not here to serve women or fall in love with them. We are to be the best man we can be and women can join, or not join. If we like the girl we don't say dump her immediately, but if she becomes too much of a drag or a man's time and resources, we say move on.

 

[El Payaso]

A lot of what you see on SS was merely borne out of the current climate of female behavior.

Most of the advice given here is to serve your interest as a man because you can bet your entire life fortune that the girl you're dating isn't only spinning plates but is also getting advice to dump your a$$.

 

[bigneil]

I mean , every time i see a post about somebody who has issues with his woman , the only answer is to dump her and spin more plates . We always blame the women when something isn't working like most of men are perfect beings. I like to think that ss is still a self improvement site and that's why I'm saying, sometimes it's our fault when something isn't working.

If you read through my posts since October about mostly one girl, you can observe that at just about every junction, people said dump her.

• She's a stripper? Dump her.
• She didn't write back right away? Dump her.
  
• She got the flu? Dump her.
  
• She slept with someone else the first month we dated? Dump her.
  
• She annoyed me so I broke up with her but I regretted it? Dump her.

I'm still with her. Our first kiss was 6 months ago. There is a comforting feeling knowing that she and I will work out whatever issues arise. I'm tired of one strike and you're out, easy come, easy go relationships - on both sides. There is something to be said about letting her know you won't abandon her no matter what.

 

[Roober]

To me, this site and everything I have read is about finding the right woman. The way of the superior man, the rational male, the book of pook, and essentially the DJ bible is about being the best man to find the best woman for you. It takes an AFC to a lean, attractive, confident, succesful man to find the right woman. I would argue that DJs develop much deeper connections than white knights. The difference is the woman is more connected than the man, because a DJ always has one foot on the threshold...

For example, we all know
-We want attractive women... to get them, you need to be confident, in great shape (not required, but important), ambitious in career and life. Confidence being the most important
-To screen women for bad traits because generally ALL women are the same. Something white knights don't do at all....
-How to hit a woman's emotions by focusing on ourselves and not making them our top priority which can come accros as a "Bad boy", "jerk", etc.
-Getting a high interest woman is important because they will give themselves to you

Had I known what I know now, I would have avoided several bad relationships, likely even my marriage as well.. A DJ can fall in love and develop a deep connection with a woman, but we have zero desire to settle for second best. The woman will always love us more as well...

The caveat is that by doing all of these things, you can get laid reallllly easy! So you end up with this paradigm with jaded men (yes many here are jaded by their past) who use the DJ skills to get laid. They avoid attachment or they keep themselves at a safe distance. I am wiling to bet most men that have a high lay count have passed on some good women and didn't even realize it. And there is nothing wrong with that. It is a matter of what you want...

Your friend is settling like a typical white knight AFC... He knows he can do better, and he can't own up to it... as most white knights won't do... I know, i was there too

 

[devilkingx2]

He: What do you know about relationships and connections , the most you have talked to a woman is for an hour , you fck them and then forget about their existence.

He sounds like a complete beta

 

[Von]

There is alot of contradictions on this website. Especially coming from DJ behaviour and the theory they preach.

Ex: BigNeil comment an example (dump her), virgins are trophies but if you get a virgin dump her cause she's ''untouched'', lay count but guy can go around etc etc etc.... You'll see in various thread the contradictions

How can we be DJ or Alpha if we can't be with a girl more than 1 month, 6 month etc... A lot of DJ seek to protect their ego due to past experience

Alot of strong advises here that definitely helped my ''game'', DJ bible etc... are great read.

Your friend didn't act beta or white knight at all in his comment. He stood his ground and shocked you. He's right about ''connection''.... its fun having a connection and feeling with someone... but its no excuse to deal with the ''bull**** or being not respect or not going for your top HB girl''.

The important part is like Sosuave want to teach ''be your better version, be the top man you can be, be the prize etc...'' but I would add.... its important to be happy.

In every relationship: it's about ''Am I happy when I get home to her? Does she satisfy me?''.... if its YES... GOOD

Dating-Relationship ask for compromise but it should always be on good terms and ''keep you happy''

Ask yourself... why you can't be with a girl more than 1 month?

Find that answer, than be a DJ, get the best HB you can be happy with in a LTR.

Also, stop wasting time comparing your friend LTR and girl to your life... why? The grass ain't greener on the otherside.... Your friend was right about: ''why you can't be with a girl more than 1 month'' but you were right about ''being the best''... if your friend is happy, let him be....if he's not, than its his problem.

Society view couple has winners

A friend once told me: When you in a LTR you want to be Single, Single you want to be in a LTR.... that was so wrong for me... Sure single has freedom but LTR you have ''connection.

Personnally, I lived that connection only once.. miss it a bit but right now, I love my single life and I know the next woman in my life will be Top and I will be my best man.. but above all: ''I will do what makes me happy''

Just never act due to desperation

PS: Nothing wrong with taking the girl and forgetting about her the next day lol

 

[guru1000]

If you read through my posts since October about mostly one girl, you can observe that at just about every junction, people said dump her.

• She's a stripper? Dump her.
• She didn't write back right away? Dump her.
  
• She got the flu? Dump her.
  
• She slept with someone else the first month we dated? Dump her.
  
• She annoyed me so I broke up with her but I regretted it? Dump her.

I'm still with her. Our first kiss was 6 months ago. There is a comforting feeling knowing that she and I will work out whatever issues arise. I'm tired of one strike and you're out, easy come, easy go relationships - on both sides. There is something to be said about letting her know you won't abandon her no matter what.

This is like watching an accident in slow motion.

 

[bigneil]

This is like watching an accident in slow motion.

I've had 6 months of great sex with the most beautiful woman I ever dated, a girl 25 years my junior, and a model whose photos scored 99%. She is also a sweetheart and the sexiest woman I know. She also has a high IQ, is a singer and a sound editor. She showed me what it means to make love to a woman. She is currently initiating 4 times per week, sending 6 part messages daily. If you're right, accidents are the best thing that ever happened to me.

The best things that happened? She went to Vegas, cheated on me, and I dumped her. Those three things made her realize that she loved me the most, didn't want to be put in a meat grinder, and didn't want to lose me.

Yet members here pretend it should be 100% positive or that the relationship failed.

Consider: since I met her, I worked 27 consecutive 88 hour weeks, earning about $195,000. Accident? Your life must be an accident that already happened if this is what you describe as bad.

Yep, there is nothing SS members hate more than to observe another member having success.

 

[Poon King]

The elephant in the room is why does a man need to "connect" to a woman? Connection is the woman's job. Initiation is the man's job.

Strong men use everything at their disposal to thrive in LIFE, and those who can’t accept that are people he doesn’t need or should care to associate with. Strong men are not trying to "connect" with women. WOMEN are trying to connect to strong men.

Remember: Your only job is to get laid. The relationship sh!t is the woman's job and the woman's problem. If she wants to "connect" she needs to seduce you. Worthy women will (or at least try). All others are sex toys.

 

[bigneil]

She is a self-admitted, professionally diagnosed BPD. The people at stage 1 were absolutely correct and will be vindicated

First, because she is naturally sweet and medium maintenance, and because she never painted me black, I disagree she is BPD.

If she is BPD, this only proves that BPD women are good. I go by the bottom line factor. The bottom line is, I had the best time with this woman.

Is Tom Brady BPD also by chance?

 

[Jetleg]

I don't want to connect to women, i wanna bang em.

 

[sazc]

If your goal is a quality LTR both parties need to know how to connect and work their way towards being ready, willing and able to do so. This isn't the Disney/white knight fantasy, it is a truthful and honest relationship where you are committed to dealing with the good, the bad and the ugly.

If you are a male that is looking for an LTR who doesn't think you need to reciprocate and connect emotionally, you are going to find a female who is comfortable with emotional distance. No bueno. This female has daddy issues. This female isn't going to take the relationship seriously (even tho she will model that she is) because there's nothing to tie her to you on a deep level. This is the b1tch who cheats and lies. These are some of your classic BPS, NPD, etc.

To be clear, I'm not advocating full on beta in any form. Def still be an alpha, and have her see you as a strong man who can lead, but you are going to have to also know how to provide her with the emotional fulfillment she craves, if you want that long term pair bonding that promotes loyalty. The kind of feelings for you where a woman will say to herself, he's not perfect but he's my man and he's there for me.

Be sure to qualify the female. 6 months of qualification at the least. Sometimes it takes a year. I was reading a few days ago, someone said, if you make it, 2 years is where everyone really starts to show who they are. That can be really true. Once you have qualified her, and you know she is someone that is in your corner, you need to contemplate this idea. Yes, it does mean exposing yourself a bit, and with exposure comes the possibility of getting hurt. It is what it is.

Good luck fellas.

 

[sazc]

@bigneil are you still only seeing her once a week?

 

[QuadDeuces]

I've had 6 months of great sex with the most beautiful woman I ever dated, a girl 25 years my junior, and a model whose photos scored 99%. She is also a sweetheart and the sexiest woman I know. She also has a high IQ, is a singer and a sound editor. She showed me what it means to make love to a woman. She is currently initiating 4 times per week, sending 6 part messages daily. If you're right, accidents are the best thing that ever happened to me.

The best things that happened? She went to Vegas, cheated on me, and I dumped her. Those three things made her realize that she loved me the most, didn't want to be put in a meat grinder, and didn't want to lose me.

Yet members here pretend it should be 100% positive or that the relationship failed.

Consider: since I met her, I worked 27 consecutive 88 hour weeks, earning about $195,000. Accident? Your life must be an accident that already happened if this is what you describe as bad.

Yep, there is nothing SS members hate more than to observe another member having success.

It sounds like you are her sugar daddy or provider.
She already fvcked around on you showing you that if you don't keep the cash coming in she'll be gone with the wind.
You dumped her but you still took her back because she wasn't replaceable, she was too hot, too sexy, too high IQ.
From reading this I can say that you do have her way too highly on a pedastal and she knows this.
Your in for a ride to hell once she starts making ultimatums and ends up takes all your money before she moves on to a new and shinier toy.

 

[bigneil]

It sounds like you are her sugar daddy or provider.
She already fvcked around on you showing you that if you don't keep the cash coming in she'll be gone with the wind.
You dumped her but you still took her back because she wasn't replaceable, she was too hot, too sexy, too high IQ.
From reading this I can say that you do have her way too highly on a pedastal and she knows this.
Your in for a ride to hell once she starts making ultimatums and ends up takes all your money before she moves on to a new and shinier toy.

Did you make that up about the cash? How am I her sugar daddy? Because I pay for dinner while you invite girls for dinner at your dorm? I spend 3% of my income on her. That's the equivalent of one of you spending $18 a week on your date.

Why don't you jerk-offs show me a better girl?

Just think guys: when you find a super model who rates higher than 99%, with a greater than 25 year age difference, who sleeps with 0 other guys in 6 months instead of 1, you can all pretend you are more successful with women. In the meantime, you are simply comparing her to perfection and pretending you have the option of holding out for perfection, and putting sour grapes on the official record that have been proven wrong again and again.

And as for LaRaiders saying "someday she will vindicate the naysayers" - that is known as double jeopardy under the law. We have something called the statute of limitations. The average marriage only lasts 5 years. Therefore, a 6 month relationship is a good thing.

If any of you would turn down a 6 month relationship with the hottest girl you ever saw, raise your hand.

No, a lot of members here simply can't stand seeing someone actually score. Go ahead and tell me why the fact I'm going to get laid again is a bad thing.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

When we keep on blaming women if our relations with them never improve, it means we are doing something wrong.

Wrong.
We almost never blame the woman. The only time we do is when they're batsh!t crazy and can't hold relationships with even their friends. We almost always look to where we went wrong in the relationship that made the relationship fail. We say to move on and spin plates just to get peace of mind, not because it's their fault. It's just so that we can actually get better.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Did you make that up about the cash? How am I her sugar daddy? Because I pay for dinner while you invite girls for dinner at your dorm? I spend 3% of my income on her. That's the equivalent of one of you spending $18 a week on your date.

Why don't you jerk-offs show me a better girl?

Just think guys: when you find a super model who rates higher than 99%, with a greater than 25 year age difference, who sleeps with 0 other guys in 6 months instead of 1, you can all pretend you are more successful with women. In the meantime, you are simply comparing her to perfection and pretending you have the option of holding out for perfection, and putting sour grapes on the official record that have been proven wrong again and again.

And as for LaRaiders saying "someday she will vindicate the naysayers" - that is known as double jeopardy under the law. We have something called the statute of limitations. The average marriage only lasts 5 years. Therefore, a 6 month relationship is a good thing.

If any of you would turn down a 6 month relationship with the hottest girl you ever saw, raise your hand.

No, a lot of members here simply can't stand seeing someone actually score. Go ahead and tell me why the fact I'm going to get laid again is a bad thing.

Look buddy you don't have to insult me.
If you don't want an objective opinion from a non biased outsider why do you post here?
I'm just telling you what I see, a 25 year older guy, working his ass off 80hours a week to impress the, in his words, hottest, smartest, perfect 10 chick he knows, who gives him the best sex. Do you see how much power she has over you, how addicted you are to her?
Are you able to replace her with another 25 year younger hb10 girl,once she starts pushing you away?
I bet she can replace you in 5 minutes.
Has she already moved in with you?
If so, does she share the mortgage, utilities?

 

[Von]

If your goal is a quality LTR both parties need to know how to connect and work their way towards being ready, willing and able to do so. This isn't the Disney/white knight fantasy, it is a truthful and honest relationship where you are committed to dealing with the good, the bad and the ugly.

If you are a male that is looking for an LTR who doesn't think you need to reciprocate and connect emotionally, you are going to find a female who is comfortable with emotional distance. No bueno. This female has daddy issues. This female isn't going to take the relationship seriously (even tho she will model that she is) because there's nothing to tie her to you on a deep level. This is the b1tch who cheats and lies. These are some of your classic BPS, NPD, etc.

To be clear, I'm not advocating full on beta in any form. Def still be an alpha, and have her see you as a strong man who can lead, but you are going to have to also know how to provide her with the emotional fulfillment she craves, if you want that long term pair bonding that promotes loyalty. The kind of feelings for you where a woman will say to herself, he's not perfect but he's my man and he's there for me.

Be sure to qualify the female. 6 months of qualification at the least. Sometimes it takes a year. I was reading a few days ago, someone said, if you make it, 2 years is where everyone really starts to show who they are. That can be really true. Once you have qualified her, and you know she is someone that is in your corner, you need to contemplate this idea. Yes, it does mean exposing yourself a bit, and with exposure comes the possibility of getting hurt. It is what it is.

Good luck fellas.

Good stuff.

Probably that's why I like intense girls or giving ones. Since I am so emotionnaly detached lol.

Just wanted to say: it takes 4 years to know someone.

That's why average mariage last 5 years. People get marriage at years 2, than discover living together. Break after year 5.

4 years +living together gives you a whole pic

 

[Poon King]

If your goal is a quality LTR both parties need to know how to connect and work their way towards being ready, willing and able to do so. This isn't the Disney/white knight fantasy, it is a truthful and honest relationship where you are committed to dealing with the good, the bad and the ugly.

If you are a male that is looking for an LTR who doesn't think you need to reciprocate and connect emotionally, you are going to find a female who is comfortable with emotional distance. No bueno. This female has daddy issues. This female isn't going to take the relationship seriously (even tho she will model that she is) because there's nothing to tie her to you on a deep level. This is the b1tch who cheats and lies. These are some of your classic BPS, NPD, etc.

To be clear, I'm not advocating full on beta in any form. Def still be an alpha, and have her see you as a strong man who can lead, but you are going to have to also know how to provide her with the emotional fulfillment she craves, if you want that long term pair bonding that promotes loyalty. The kind of feelings for you where a woman will say to herself, he's not perfect but he's my man and he's there for me.

Be sure to qualify the female. 6 months of qualification at the least. Sometimes it takes a year. I was reading a few days ago, someone said, if you make it, 2 years is where everyone really starts to show who they are. That can be really true. Once you have qualified her, and you know she is someone that is in your corner, you need to contemplate this idea. Yes, it does mean exposing yourself a bit, and with exposure comes the possibility of getting hurt. It is what it is.

Good luck fellas.

You need to remember this is 2017.

Most of this romance novel emo stuff has been exposed as feel good Dr. Phil horse sh!t. At the end of the day people are practical and shallow. They care about value and what you can do for them. No one is going to be in a relationship with you for YOUR benefit. Its for their benefit. This is why I teach men to adopt the same mindset.

Give and take is a normal part of human life (obviously). If I was to sum up your post in man language this is how it would read:

"Women require constant and consistent ego-boosting devotion from a man in order to feel secure enough to commit to him long-term. Emotionally distant women have too many options to trust long-term, so avoid them. It takes 6 months for a man to figure out if a woman has no better options than him. If a man finds such a woman, he should consider himself lucky and k!ss her ass by giving into her frame and her priorities. This is how he proves to her that he ALSO has no better options. This gives her the security she needs to relax and stop worrying about her declining fertility/attractiveness and market value with age."

--Sazc (Translated by Poon King free of charge)