Why Men Tolerate Crap

[RangerMIke]

Women don't start acting bitchy and nag on purpose. It is what they do when they are in a relationship with a man that is not behaving dominate. It's normal female behavior when you start acting submissive... giving her what she wants without reciprocity. You start causing her to think she can do better.

Why men let this happen to them I will never know.

 

[Reykhel]

The average man on the street suffers from two dilemas with regards to women:

1. The social disease of APPROVAL SEEKING: he's so desperate to be liked or equally to not be disliked, that he's just so damn desperate to please. What do you want to do honey?? No really, I just want you to be happy. Letting her lead when she doesn't even want to lead. He turns into a doormat. NO BOUNDARIES. NO DEFINED LIKES OR DISLIKES.

2. Because of political correctness/ femenism this guy is afraid of offending. He must *****foot around women and thread carefully with his words. Afterall who wants to risk being called a sexist or not be seem as a "good guy" (back to APPROVAL SEEKING)

If the average man could work on overcoming these two learned, neurótic behaviours he would be on his way to freeing himself from many mental entanglements.

He needs to remember:
TO MAKE AN OMELETE, ONE HAS TO BREAK SOME FVCKING EGGS!!!!

The irony is that attraction NEEDS tension, it NEEDS friction....

Adding the word NO to his vocabulary is a start....
NO, BYTCH, NO.......when he's feeling braver

 

[btownbuck2012]

Men do it because it sneaks up on them - which is EXACTLY how it is played by women, on purpose, to get the upper hand in the relationship.

If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water it immediately jumps outs.........men do the same.
If you put a frog in a pot of cold water and slowly heat it, the frog stays in the pot, constantly trying to adapt it's body temperature, until it is boiled alive. - Men do the same.


Many times, in a relationship, once a woman gets comfortable, secure.......she decides to try her hand to see how much control and relationship muscle she has. So it starts with a few subtle critiques........."Your hair looks greasy this morning"...."don't be so cheap"........."those pants look old"..................and they they wait to see the response. Or they withold sexx. Men, not realizing the "game" being played on them, try to make changes, to comply. To please. Because that is how we are built. You CAN and SHOULD un-learn this behavior.

I believe this is partially sub conscious in all women, meaning it is how they are wired. Remember, as the weaker sex, physically, the female developed to learn control of their "provider" through psychological means, as she had no other way. Then we get into the conscious area.......where this is done deliberately, on purpose, with the sole purpose of gaining hand in the relationship, of breaking your spirit. BPD's take this to an entirely different level.

My current Gf has not displayed any of this (18 months), but she is a rare exception.

Don't tolerate it. Ask yourself "is this something I would say to her?" Is this something I would say to a friend, or to someone I love" If not, it is out of line.

Sometimes, especially with a damaged woman, calling them out is the WORST thing you can do....they are actively LOOKING for an argument.....and now they have one. and you WILL end up the "bad guy"

Best response is a subtle withdrawal of attention and contact. Let her miss you, and she will appreciate you much more.

^This is so so good. +1 and should be stickied somewhere.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

For some of us it is the type of relationship our parents had so we assume it is normal.
For some of us there are childten involved and we don't want them to see grown-ups fighting.
For some of us it is low self-esteem. We have little value for our own opinions.
For some it is being unaware that there is another way to be with women.
A few like it.
For some we were raised by our moms and society to be gentle kind people especially to women and to be afraid of conflict and anger ESPECIALLY our own anger.
For some it is fear of the consequences if they stand up to a woman, especially men with bpd girlfriends or girlfriends with anger issues . Tjey might also be worried about the consequence of divorce and think it is better to tolerate a little crap than be divorce raped.

In hind site (and more than one of these used to apply to me) I realise that it was wrong to put up with crap because it all turned to sh-t anyway. You can't always see it when you are in it.

 

[bigneil]

Today I cooked Christmas dinner for my old boss and his wife (who I also cooked dinner for last Christmas).

When I told them about my success dating a younger woman over the past 4 months, my old boss was pumped, but ask yourself this: Do you think his wife was happy for me, seeing that I'm single and lonely and it's Christmas and I'm serving her lunch? Or do you think she scowled and grit her teeth and clenched her fists, and only wished the worst for me?

Coach Corey Wayne observed this also. He said he has stopped telling people actual examples of his dating triumphs, because the 98% of the people we are better than at dating will get pissed off and stomp their feet and throw a tantrum forever (see EyeBRollin and PeasantPlayer for examples).

 

[skinnyguy]

Today I cooked Christmas dinner for my old boss and his wife (who I also cooked dinner for last Christmas).

When I told them about my success dating a younger woman over the past 4 months, my old boss was pumped, but ask yourself this: Do you think his wife was happy for me, seeing that I'm single and lonely and it's Christmas and I'm serving her lunch? Or do you think she scowled and grit her teeth and clenched her fists, and only wished the worst for me?

Coach Corey Wayne observed this also. He said he has stopped telling people actual examples of his dating triumphs, because the 98% of the people we are better than at dating will get pissed off and stomp their feet and throw a tantrum forever (see EyeBRollin and PeasantPlayer for examples).

Stop caring about what other people think of your dating life.

They probably know that you have deep insecurities about your age, given that you're always talking about dating teenagers. If you had told them that the girls you were talking about were strippers im sure they would feel sorry for you.

Anyway the point of this thread was not tolerating crap from women. The most crap I've ever dealt with is flakiness. But that's easy to deal with if you have a one strike rule. When I'm dating a girl they usually treat me very well. I don't hate women like a lot of guys here because I don't bring crappy women into my life. I've never once dated a BPD. I'm definitely not a player but that's fine with me because I will take quality over quantity all day. I don't think with my penis which avoids a lot of silly trouble.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Men are taught to take crap. In fact society depends on mens ability to do so. How many soldiets would fight if they couldn't deal with horrible conditions, miners, road builders, garbage collectors, sanitation workers, police... Any job that is dangerous or unpleasant is usually done by men. Anyone who wants to keep paying the rent sometimes has to bite their tongue and suck it up.
Most male rolemodels from John Wayne onwards are idolised for the ability to take a beating and come back for more. Is is really a surprise that we do it in relationships as well.