Why is this girl trying to make me jealous?

[Rust Newman]

Greetings,

I have an interesting scenario for ya'll and would love some feedback:

Brief Background

Long story, but I recently started seeing a girl who is an ex after a 3 year separation period. She has chased me ever since and has never stopped keeping in touch with me, even when she had a boyfriend.

We broke up because I didn't want a LDR and I totally broker her heart. She told me that she has never been able to find anything that intense again. We are having regular sex and it is incredible. But she is making an effort to keep herself distant and she goes through hot and cold periods throughout a night.

Lately, she told me she loved me after she had a couple ****tails and was super open with me the next day. But then went a bit cold again. Last time I hung out with her she made an obvious jealously ploy (and she been doing this a bit lately) telling me about a guy in her office that was married and he was so hot and she had sex dreams about f***ing him on his desk. Totally blatant... I just responded by saying, "Is his wife hot?".

About 20 minutes after that we had sex. The sex is incredible and she was open and acting needy afterwards.

I have a very cool job, I'm self-employed, and recently some incredible (high status) things have happened to me in my work life. Since we have began seeing each other she has told me that she just wants to find a relationship where she feels an equal commitment from either side and that she also feels she is getting older now. (we're both 27). She said that with the other 2 guys she had dated since me, she had been in complete control with them (beta) and lost interest. She kept them for security.

My question is she doing this jealous thing? I am wondering if it is because she sees me as too unattainable or too high value, so she's trying to take a shot at me to bring me down. Or is it simply a **** test to see if I care? Perhaps a security thing to see if I'm actually interested in any kind of commitment or just the sex?

What do you guys think?

 

[TheGambino]

I think she feels like she can say these kind of things to you without expecting a big reaction. I like youre replie but you have to set some boundaries. Relationships are about respect aswell...

I think the best thing you can do is f8ck her very good like you do, **** her like its your last time every time, very important to keep the interest level high and ofcourse good times for you.

Girls love to find out howmuch guys care by making them jealous, it's a test. You pass it if you react aloof. Just give her less attention when she goes cold, go cold yourself, let her invest more in the relationship then you that's the key.

See the problem is where do you set your boundaries? If you let a girl fly off too much she will think she can do it and actually see someone else because you cared too little. She has to respect you, if she does sh1t you don't like you tell her. You tell her 'I dont like what you did, i think its disrespectfull towards me' then let her blablalba and you give her less attention for some time. Attention is your weapon in firing back on coldness and mistakes by a girl in my opinion.

In your case, reacting aloof on her 'sexual fantasy' is good, making fun of that but don't let her get to far if you know what I mean, there are boundaries.

 

[Rust Newman]

I appreciate the great reply - you have definitely reassured a lot of my thoughts towards this.

I agree to keep it aloof, but for how long is the questions. She has dropped a couple jealousy ploys about orbiters but nothing this aggressive.

If she does make a comment this aggressive again, I will call her out. ie. "Its cool to have fantasies but save that **** for your girlfriends. I don't reminisce to you about others girls I've f***ed because its disrespectful. Its such second class behavior." blah blah.

End of the day she is still giving me the crazy monkey sex - I know she's not testing me because I may be too beta. I think she's frustrated and wants more commitment from me and is trying enticing me to lock her down because she has "options".

Thank you sir.

 

[SeymourCake]

This was a sh!t test. You're supposed to act indifferent to sh!t test. The fact that you sense she's trying to make you jealous means it affected you somewhat. Ignore it and continue on with your day.

Analysis is paralysis. Don't analyze the situation. Go with the flow.